After 101-years, 2-months and 11-days, Carmen Gil Welling; the daughter of a Spaniard and Scotswoman, under the loving care of her daughter Vaughn and amazing friends Litia and Shawna, has departed the planet with the grace, dignity, and wit that marked her life. 

During her remarkable 101+ years, this wonderful woman mothered three daughters (Reye, Vaughn, and Robin), and three sons (Chuck, Jeff, and Grant); was Nana to six granddaughters (Molly, Sarah, Melinda, Carmen, Jill, and Alexandra) and five grandsons (Daniel, Raymond, Nathaniel, Kenneth, and Christopher); to a gaggle of great-grandchildren…and great great-grandchildren, and provided guidance and support to countless others.

Our Mom and Nana spent a large part of her life in defense of the United States and its allies, having been one of a select few women working worldwide in our Nation’s intelligence community - better defined as the ASA (Army Security Agency), and the CIA. 

After being widowed for a second time, Mom enrolled as a freshman at Dominican University, in San Rafael, California, where she earned her Bachelors – Magna Cum Laude; her experience of returning to school was chronicled in an expose’ “Grandma Graduates!”  Also, as an extension of her education and desire to help others, this remarkable woman freely shared her compassion for those suffering, through her volunteer work as a grief counselor.

Mom was darn athletic; she was a competitive swimmer, an equestrian, tennis player, and cyclist - she loved hiking, and bordered on a fanatic when it came to eating fresh, non-processes foods.  Her mantra can still be heard…”Eat your steamed vegetables!” 

Mom was a champion in the kitchen, as well as the garden.  For those of us who had the pleasure of her cooking (some of us learned everything we know about cooking from her), we were treated each Christmas morning to Mom’s crisp, hot waffles covered with strawberry preserves born from her terraced strawberry patch… all topped with a dollop of sour cream (so much for eating healthy).   She loved to bake, and in an attempt to slow her husband Grant’s insatiable appetite for her homemade cookies, she decided to freeze the bulk of the cookies as soon as they had cooled from the oven.  Dad, or” Grant-dad” as the grandkids called him, quickly found a way to thaw Mom’s wonderful cookies…snatching them from the freezer when she wasn’t looking, and dipping them in a tall glass of milk so as not to chip a tooth as he munched away!

Not only creative in the kitchen, Mom was a classical pianist, and made us all howl as she and dear friend Florence Miller would strum away on the autoharp together while singing some tune none of us recognized.

Like everyone, Mom was not perfect, nor was her life; however, there was always more laughter than tears when faced with some of the crazy situations confronting us on more than a few occasions.  With Mom, ”you always knew you’d be all right regardless of what the challenge was.”  Ya see, her intellect and tenacity was simply irrepressible…Mom not only knew how to survive, she showed us how to flourish in the face of adversity, and how to address triumph with humility!

Love, wisdom, and guidance are just three of Mom’s hallmarks; she was fueled by life and its many adventures, and was a crystalline example of living life large, all while attempting to exceed her current grasp of it.

Mom lived among many friends in the Kenwood community of Oakmont Gardens.  Whether it be staff, Mom’s bridge partners (each hosting weekly bridge games…’I actually suspect it was poker!’), or a swarm of friends, Mom considered each a part of her family.  “Oh, everyone knows your mother, Carmen…!”, one resident proclaimed.  Mom loved her Oakmont family, and her 'O'-family loved her right back.

If you would like to honor our mom, hold a door open for someone for no reason other than as an act of kindness; hug someone you love; make the donation you’ve been putting off to that worthy charitable organization; bring a bag of groceries to your local shelter/relief center/church…In other words, reach out and exceed your current grasp, while making a difference in someone’s life.  Imagine a world where it is commonplace for each of us to do just that for someone we do not know…One of our Mom’s life lessons to us all.

And for those of you who included Mom in your lives and showed kindness to her, you have the sincere appreciation of our grateful family.