ForeverMissed
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This memorial website was created in memory of our precious mom, Caroline Aduke Ibijolatan Folayan.

Until we are able to properly honor mom with a 'live' service, we wish for you to share in the memories of our beloved mother! 

Since this site will be an ongoing memorial for her children and grandchildren to view for a lifetime, we invite you to share on this site by signing in and clicking on ‘Stories’ to share a story or memory ANDOR use the 'Tribute' section below if you wish to express feelings or sentiments.
Also, if you have photos of Mom you wish to share, please add where prompted! 
We will be holding a live 'Celebration of Life' when it is safe to do so. 
Thank you so much
April 24, 2023
April 24, 2023
 "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Mummy, Happy Birthday to you!!"
 Today would have been your Birthday on Earth but the Angels kmow best! I wish you a Sweet one in Heaven, ma.
 YOU ARE TRULY MISSED BUT CONTINUE TO SING WITH THE HEAVENLY HOSTS!!
 Love from "A - Seyi - Seyi".
April 19, 2023
April 19, 2023
Dearest mummy.....3 years gone by...still miss you ❤️
April 24, 2022
April 24, 2022
Dear Mummy,
Today would have been your birthday!! Hope you're celebrating it in Heaven ma!! Love you and miss you ma.

From O'Seyi!!!
April 19, 2022
April 19, 2022
Dear Mummy, how time flies! we miss you very much but believe you in a much better place and so we are consoled.
April 19, 2022
April 19, 2022
I miss you dearest mummy....2 years gone....u ....:)
April 26, 2021
April 26, 2021
My Reflections - Morenike

•   My mother could have chosen to be stocked as a shadow.
• A shadow of her academically successful junior sisters.
• The shadow of her highly intelligent husband.
• But she choose not too.
• She made the best of her excellent education and inspired others to be excellent.
• She sacrificed all material gains so her children could have access to the best of education.
• Cost was not a consideration for to get the best. Best was the minimum standard.
• She laboured, burrowed, anguished so that my siblings and I get the best possible.
• She ensured we are never second-class citizens where-ever we go.
• And did she succeed? The thoughts bring smiles to my face.
• She never was a conformist and she broke the ceiling of conformists.
• One of my mother’s favourite phrase was – but why? She challenged norms.
• My mother was content. I first and always define contentment by reflecting on my mum.
• She also was a very independent old woman. You should hear her challenging why she should not have a driving license at 84 years. I had to let her know that her continued battle to drive at 84 years is no longer about her but a stigma to us who allow her to drive at such an old age. I asked if there was anyone she was still trying to impress, driving at 84 years is not such a cool thing to do anymore.
• She never lived above her means. She left us all her children assets and NO debts
• She left us all with great memories.

Hummm. Maami. Super-Shero. Sun re o

April 19, 2021
April 19, 2021
Just wanted to drop a note, one year on, to say, as I so much enjoyed saying to you, Mummy, I love very much!

I can just hear your reply now, as always, "Thank yoooouuu!" Followed with your laugh. "I love you veeery, veeeery much"! How Ioved to hear you say that mom.

In a sense you're still here with us mom. The house you built endures, and thrives, and it is all because of you. Miss you mum.
April 8, 2021
April 8, 2021
I remember those days when l go for holiday at Ijapo. I remember a little boy called Jide who came very early to the house and Mummy said and I quote ‘Jide oti Jide’. It sounds so funny because of the rhythm. When l married my husband, whose name is Jide, l always make him laugh with this statement.

She was a loving woman her house was open for all. I was comfortable staying there to enjoy my holiday, she does not discriminate.

My grandmother never complained about her. She was like a daughter with a heart of Gold. My grandmother told me how she corrected her with love on the use of knife: that she should wash it after us. She now said she reasoned along with her that the next time you are using the knife is already clean for use. Little differences like this is the cause of problems among in-laws. l thank God for her life: she is always smiling and l cherish the love between her and her sisters.

Funmi Abolarin
April 6, 2021
April 6, 2021
Hon Prof. Chief (Mrs) Olufunke A. Egunjobi.

My wonderful sister, Hon Mrs Aduke Ibijolatan Folayan has gone home to meet her maker, the Almighty God since April 2020. I am still sorrowing her sudden departure from the earth planet! A wonderful sister in every sense of the word. Kind, sincere, hardworking, straightforward, very honest among her other virtues, my sister Caroline Aduke Folayan is very hard to forget.

However, she can not be with us on the earth planet and be with God in heaven at the same time. A fe e, sugbon Jesu fe e ju wa lo. May your soul rest in perfect peace - Amen.
April 5, 2021
April 5, 2021
Tolulope -
My most beloved mum and auntie:
Mrs Caroline Aduke Folayan. A rare gem, always smiling, her laughter is soothing and reassuring. Always ready to lend a helping hand. Supportive, with kind words of wisdom.
I remember mum going with me from house to house, helping me sell shoes and bags to strangers, just so I wouldn’t chicken out; herself being the very first to patronise me.

Mum will call me out of the blues saying. I prayed for you this morning and just felt like hearing your voice. A great mum and friend, firm yet gentle and kind.

I always remember her laughter, the peeling sound, the ring of joy which nothing has succeeded in damping. How I wish I could just pick up the phone and call her.
I miss you so much ma. I know you’re in a better place, I just wanted you to be around just a little bit longer. It was always such a comfort.

I love you mummy.......
Till we meet again.
April 4, 2021
April 4, 2021
My dear auntie, Mrs Aduke Caroline Folayan was the epitome of simplicity, contentment, and love. Very organized, she took complete control of her environment. Her efficiency, her cleanliness, her caring nature, her faith and trust in God were a constant through all the years. I have only fond memories of her from holidays in Lagos as a child, to mid-term and other holidays in Akure when I was in Christ’s School, Ado-Ekiti. One never left her home without a gift.  One of her most endearing qualities was the joy she radiated. Her countenance and her voice expressed joy constantly. I cannot ever remember her being annoyed with me. Even when she got annoyed with anybody, it was always justified and short lived. She could go from scolding to a very hearty laugh at a speed faster than Tesla’s famed acceleration. One of the things I have missed the most is her calls. When she called, as she often did, she transmitted pure joy. I can still hear her laughter and voice ring through “Bawo ni o ‘Segun. Mo kan ni kin gbohun e ni”. I look forward to seeing you, Mummy Akure, at the feet of Jesus!
April 4, 2021
April 4, 2021
My Lord!, what can I say .........
Mummy Akure, when I think about you ma, some Scriptures spring to mind.

Genesis 21:6 “God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me.”

Proverbs 17:22 (KJV)
“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine:...”

Proverbs 31:25-26 (NLT)
“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.”


I am sat here reminiscing about distant memories of my childhood. I feel nostalgia at the memories of your rich, full, tangible laughter floating through the house mixed with the innocence and joys of my childhood. Every memory of occasions spent with you is filled with that same characteristic laughter and the love you effortless give. I did not have the privilege of seeing you or talking to you in recent years, but I can still vividly hear you laugh and feel the joys, peace and excitement your presence brought with it.

Alas... what a surprise it was when I found out that in spite of not seeing you for many years; with you; out of sight is not out of mind; and I made it on your “Wall Of Prayer”! What a blessing! Now, I have a duty to erect my own physical wall of prayer! Praise God!

Mummy, you are a gift to humanity. God brought you into this world amongst other things to be a healing medicine for weary souls. Your strength, dignity, love and kindness will never be forgotten.

Thank you for these and many more things that I can not verbalise or that I do not know.

Kasunji at the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ, when we shall meet to part no more. Kasunji ma.

❤️❤️❤️ Lanre Ilemia Tosh
March 30, 2021
March 30, 2021
It was her 80th birthday.

Garbed in Yellow lace and aso oke with a touch of red - top to bottom – in her usual brisk “lets-do-this” ever ready manner, she picked up her hand bag and headed towards her car. I asked her, “Mummy, oko wo l’ongbe yin lo si church?” I imagined she would be chauffeur driven by one of the many drivers and jeeps at her disposal – afterall her son Afolabi Folayan na MD/CEO. There was also the possibility of riding with her elegant and funky yet impatient ambassador “aburo” in her personalized number plate Benz Jeep, or perhaps the older of her aburos, “Professor” – equally elegant, more patient, yet a potential tornedo when provoked! I mean, who drives themselves on their birthdays, fully kitted – especially when you are 80? E gba mi o! In her usual calmness and wearing her legendary heavenly smile that spoke volumes, she said nothing! The message was not lost on me – “ma worry jare, I will drive myself to church! I am not sure I want to wait for those my aburos – dem get their own wahala!” the smile said!

Much aplomb, she drove herself to church – circa 5 km. Not much for distance, but for an 80 year old great grandma – she won my heart once again as she did many years before when awareness happened to me! She won my heart when I began to understand the intensity of the struggles she would have had – those struggles which I felt deep down in my soul, which I read from deep within her soul, those struggles which she never uttered (to me) or allow her emotions to betray! Reflecting on my renewed love for her, I once again gleaned some inspiration that day - that one must get doing irrespective of where he/she is or what lies before them! That there is really no time to waste, no tantrums to throw, that one must replace tears with smiles and inertia with action!
She was from heaven. She would have been 85 a few days before her transition, but Daddy wanted her to feast with Him on that special day, and so a few days before D-day, he summoned her. I can see her smile as she ascends. That heavenly smile that says, “get going”, “keep pushing”, ‘God's got this - there's nothing to worry about"

'Mummy Akure' as we fondly called her, see you on the other side where there shall be no more sorrows , no more weeping, no more crying, and no more pain!
Rest in Peace
March 29, 2021
March 29, 2021
  Mummy!!!  I still cannot believe you're gone.. I really do miss you ma. When I received the phone call that day, I said "No way, it can't be true! " I immediately embarked on Prayer, calling God to reverse the story. I refused to call anyone or say "I'm sorry to hear the bad news". I hoped to receive good news, a sudden phone call from Akure saying "A miracle has happened...Mummy has come back to Life! " After all, I've heard testimonies of people who returned to life and even witnessed one myself!
  Anyway, the reality now is that you've gone to be with the Lord Jesus. I'm sure you are doing well up there, He is taking good care of you and I don't blame you for not wanting to come back!
 So Mummy, I just want to tell you that you were a Wonderful Woman!!!  I thank you for how you took good care of me growing up.. I Thank you for all your love and care for me.  I thank you for all your contributions to my life - material, educational, spiritual, and even emotional! Thank you for being a blessing to my life. 
  On this earth, may God bless your Children, Grandchildren , Great -Grandchildren and all your Generations!
 Mummy, I have not attained to all you hoped of me.. and I pray that I will.
  Please rest in the bosom of our Lord until we all come to join you in your new Heavenly address..
  Only thing is, I don't know who will now call me " A-Sheyi -Sheyi!!!!"
  AH, LOVE YOU MUM.
March 29, 2021
March 29, 2021
THE FEAST OF MINERALS

I recall the regular visits my mum helped us make to my cousins’ house at Arakale, Akure. Once my siblings and I land and we hopped out of the car, the next time we see my mum was on our call to start going home in the evening. We go play silly and drink minerals and malt drinks. Hi Malt I guess. Poor mama Sade. I am sure those visits left her account in red. We visitors will drink the drinks we want like fish and ensure we have reserves in our tommy to last us to the next visit. Was that the highlights of my visit – yes.

But in retrospect now, I thank my mum for investing the time to keep family together. She definitely did. With her I kept in touched with my cousins. Our home was opened to have Rotimi come live. I built a relationship with my half brother. I knew Aramoko which we visited for many many years ever Christmas (did I hate the cold water we had to learn to use to take our baths). And of course, I loved well and healthily with all the Ilemia clan.

Hummm. What a woman she was. An Amazon Woman. Love you mum. Guess I never got to say it enough. I assume you know I did and still do.
March 29, 2021
March 29, 2021
The colour Green

Today I remember the colour green. When my mum was going to buy her first car, she did ask me (not sure if she asked others) what colour of car would I like the car to be. I said green. Low and behold her Morris Marina came home one day – colour green. I was surprised she took me serios. But it came home as Military Green while I was thinking of Olive green. Then we did not have the colour dictionary like we have today. Morris Marina remained colour to Orange when the military banned the use of the colour green. So we lived with Morris Marina colour Orange until Isuzu came home to roast. And guess what – Isuzu was colour Olive green - My mum still remembered that my choice colour for her car was colour green.
March 28, 2021
March 28, 2021
THIS TRIBUTE IS FROM BROTHER EMMANUEL OBISESAN:

"Mummy Ijapo" as fondly called by we "Omo broda Obi" was always accomodating and caring.
I remember the very first time when I went with my bicycle to deliver a message from Daddy (Broda Obi) to her at her residence along Ondo Road, opposite CAC Grammar School Akure and after greetings and introduction, Mummy burst into a long deep laughter. Reason was that as an innocent and local street boy, I delivered the message to her in Akure dialect and she couldn't pick a word! And I had to start all over again to interpret.

She made broken English look beautiful.
She was strong and looked invincible. She walked with the universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings.

"Mummy Ijapo", Rest in peace! I miss those sweet words you spoke to me because they gave me more courage to succeed in life. I want to say "We miss you, Mum."

By Emmanuel Obisesan: All from Gbenga & Isaac Obi Alle.
March 21, 2021
March 21, 2021
My dearest Mummy Akure...mmmm... I am still struggling to believe I wont see you or hear your hearty laughter again on this side of the divide or hear my phone ring at 3 am with you on the other side side with your unmistakable "Helloooo Dupe..how are you re ?".

My darling mummy..i have never known life without you...until now. When I last saw you in 2018...had I known I wont see you here again I would have lingered longer.. made a video....hugged you harder....had I known!

I have never know life without you....from early childhood...to my years in FGGC Akure...you showed up faithfully on visiting days...garri and yam and igba in tow...my favorites! In university and beyond.... When I moved to Canada as a young adult..you called me regularly.....even more than my mum did ...You took care of me like your own.

I miss you soooo much....your sisters miss you so much...all of your children miss you so much.

I am looking forward to hearing your laugh again.. and who knows..maybe share a plate of yam and igba....when we meet again at the foot of Christ.

I love you mum.

March 14, 2021
March 14, 2021
Ijapo Family Fellowship - Mama Folayan, Your sudden exit was a shock to all members of Ijapo Family Fellowship, a fellowship your loved with passion. A tour last
meeting in your house in October last year, you were still bubbling with life and vitality. You were a very active member, who would hardly
miss a meeting when in town.We shall miss your warmth and useful contribution sin our meetings. Even when you were not able to prepare
notes for a meeting, you would always have a substitute, so that no vacuum was left. You lived a fulfilled life, and we are happy that you are
in a better place, in the bosom of your Lord and Savior. Good night mama. Sleep on dearly beloved, till we meet at the resurrection morning
March 14, 2021
March 14, 2021
Unity Sisters Club - Tribute to a Matriach
When the news of your demise came, it was received with a heavy heart. This is because you are the Dorcas of our time. If it were
possible, we wouldn't have allowed you go with those many attributes in an earthen vessel. Your love, kindness, generosity, and prayerfulness reached the Heavens. Always smiling and radiant like the morning sun. Your company is desired at all times as your calm and
friendly nature stands you out among your equals. You looked like an angel when we last saw you, which was at Alara's 10th Year Coronation Anniversary.
“The MATRIARCH of Aramoko Unity Sisters Club”. The first and longtime president. Rest on good leader! You left good footprints in the
sands of time. You came, you saw, and you conquered.
Till the resurrection morning, GOOD NIGHT, abiyamo tooto.
March 14, 2021
March 14, 2021
Folasade - Death! Death!!Death!!! Where is thy sting?
You took away our big Mummy at the prime age of 85years. Big Mummy you were such a peace-loving woman. Always smiling and laughing
and very strong till the last day. The last time l slept in your house at Oke ljebu after Toyosi’s introduction ceremony, you drove me down to
the motor park on the second day when l was leaving, and l was envying your energetic lovely driving at your age. Little did l know that l won’t
see you again. But our consolation is that we would meet again at the resurrection morning.
I could remember my school of Nursing days (1980-1983) when l was staying with you and my big daddy (my dad’s immediate elder brother,
your loving husband Late Pa Afolabi Folayan Snr). We would pally together like sisters, when l needed to go anywhere l will tell you instead
of my big daddy and you will finish the rest on my behalf; such an understanding woman who couldn’t hurt a fly. My first T shirt was from
you with my name engraved on the shirt SADE, bought on one of your trips to the UK. l so much cherished the T shirt especially when it was
from you. Was it the well tailored uniform dresses you will make for me (Nurse Sade) and my cousins (Dr Morenike Folayan, Folabi and
Bolaji)? You will thereafter drive us down to the photographer’s studio for various shots of pictures.
It was cool growing up with you ma. Thanks a million for your care and love in those good old days. Another moment that l was always happy
about then was staying in front of our house at Oda road quarters GRA Akure, to buy proceeds from the farmer coming back from the farm
and we do eat fresh vegetables, fresh corns and plantains which made myself and my cousins to eat fried plantain (dodo) regularly. How
many will l mention or is it your lovely delicacy of isale pot of the home made EKO riro by us in the house. You used to love eating the burnt
bottom pot of the Eko more than the proper Eko that we normally ate with Okro soup.
You always personified calling my name Sade miii oh! Mummy Mummy we would all miss you forever, but our joy is that you’re resting well
in the bosom of the Lord. Good night, good mother
March 14, 2021
March 14, 2021
Emiola - I was privileged to be part of you in 1964 when I joined you and my beloved late brother, Mr. David Afolabi Folayan at No. 28 Majoro Street,
Onike, Yaba, Lagos at a tender age.
Right from the beginning, I did not experience any of the traditional sister-in-law issues other people complain about. You took me as your
blood sister and it remained that way for as long as I knew you.
You never saw me as your sister-in-law but your biological sister and all your siblings including your mother treated me like that. You became
the sister that I never had because I am the only daughter of my parents.
I choose not to forget my childhood memories of love, peace, laughter, joy and harmony, the things money cannot buy that you instilled in
me as a little girl growing under your watch. For this I am very grateful.
When I became a woman, married with my own family, you treated me with much love and respect. You appreciated any little gift from me
and my family.
You had a cordial relationship with my brothers and other siblings including my mother who lived peacefully with you and your husband for
many years both in Lagos and Akure. For this, I am very grateful.
One of my weaknesses is that I do not phone my loved ones frequently but you took it upon yourself to phone me regularly. You phoned me
on Tuesday 14th April, 2020. We talked at length as usual, not knowing that you were saying bye-bye to me because you passed on to be
with the Lord on the Sunday 19th April, 2020.
Your sudden demise without hearing that you were sick really disturbed and troubled me but it only confirmed the saying that there’s just
a thin line between life and death. This is to remind us that we should all be prepared because “death will come when it will come” and we
must
always be prepared
Preparation for death should be embodied in readiness to make it to heaven and spend eternity with our Lord Jesus Christ. You did so,
praise the Lord. Your exemplary Christian attributes without doubt confirmed that you prepared to spend eternity with our Lord, Jesus Christ.
You served the Lord while you were alive. You loved singing hymns. No wonder you were once a member of the choirs in your place of worship. One of your favourite hymns among others is:

Jesus good above all other,
Gentle child of gentle mother,
In a stable born our brother;
Give us grace to persevere

There are five stanzas in this hymn and you knew all by heart. Anytime, I was privileged to hear this hymn, I always remembered you. Now,
you will be singing it with the saints above.
I am thankful for the immense grace of God that surrounded your demise that you were not in any pain before you passed on to glory to
meet your Lord. This is in itself a testimony of the goodness of God.
I take comfort in knowing that God took you to His side and you are in company of saints, praising God.
I am forever grateful to God for the wonderful time we spent together full of love, laughter and joy.
Finally, my dear sister, greet my beloved brother your husband and your darling mother-in-law for me.
Good bye my darling sister till we meet at the feet of our Lord, Jesus Christ.
March 14, 2021
March 14, 2021
Morenike - Maami. Not that I ever called her that while she was alive. On my last visit to her, she was remising about her mum with her carer and she kept referring to her mum as Maami. Now is seems apt to adopt that for her.

Maami taught me that value of truth. I saw it in her ways. She never preached it to me. My mum never told a lie. Not through jokes, not through words. She was truthful and she was transparent about it. It is a value I hope I have passed on to my kids.

Maami never settled for second class. We were middle-class but she ensured she got us the education that kings paid for in her lifetime. She never compromised on value and quality for quantity. I hope I have been able to share this value with my adopted kids.

Maami cared about me. She never missed a visiting day while I was in secondary school. When she was hospitalised, she left her hospital bed to come visiting me because she felt I would be suspicious something was wrong if she did not come. I hope I have lived that life for my kids.

Maami never left my needs to suffer. I knew she had to go farm to be able to supplement her income to address our needs. I saw her once go burrow money from the neighbour so she could get my pair of glasses before I went back to school. I am not sure I had to make that much of a sacrifice for my kids because she paid the ultimate price so I do not have to pay that price.

Maami was content. She never strived to be like anyone else. She just was okay with what we had, with being her own friend, with living an independent life, with finding God and living in peace with him. She left me an heritage because those too are my strong values

Maami. Sun re o.
March 14, 2021
March 14, 2021
Afolabi - My mum, Caroline Aduke Folayan, was simply a pleasant lady!
She left a wonderful impression on everyone that met her. Mum was a gentle, lovely, and lively soul. She lived an exemplary life, a blessed life….. a life worthy of emulation. She was hardworking, highly principled, disciplined, prudent, and very generous. I learnt a lot from
the way she conducted her affairs, she was intentional in her dealings and would never compromise her integrity.
Mum was a woman of honour. Her words always matched her actions. She was very brilliant, shrewd, and very disciplined. Mum was
always punctual. I never saw her go late for an appointment all through her life. It was absolutely impossible. She couldn’t stand sloppiness or tardiness in any form.
My mum was accountable. Whatever her dealings, especially financial, she provided you with a report to the very last kobo. It was her
lifestyle. She kept a diary until the twilight of her life when she started to forget her short-term memories. She was always the first to call
on anyone’s birthday, with her prayers and familiar high-pitched lively voice. You had no doubt you were on her mind.
My mum was content. She was a woman with very little needs, and she had a heart of gratitude. She exemplified the biblical saying that
“Godliness with contentment is great gain”. She never bothered anyone with anything, rather she would look out for others and go all out
to offer help. Even in the way she died, it was as if she never wanted to bother anyone. Mum had a very lovely spirit. She was kind and
fair. She lived with an attitude of gratitude, thanking God always and in all things.
Mum was prudent and industrious. No one could stretch money like my mum. She was enterprising, she invested in commercial soap
making, she had a poultry, she had a fish farm, and she always cultivated a garden.
My mum was loyal. She had lifelong friends. Her in-laws all loved her; her sisters doted on her. For us her biological children, each one of
us felt we were her favourite because she made each person feel very special in her own unique way. She was trustworthy and transparent. Her life was plain and readable as a book, with her what you see is what you get. On all issues, you knew where she stood. She was
forthright and plainspoken, had no hidden agenda. She was generous, nearly to a fault. She gave of her time and of her means. I remember while we were young, she always took us to the lepers’ colony at Ago-Ireti once or twice a year to give out clothes, money, and other items to charity. This was her way of teaching by doing.
Mum was committed to her church community, she was a member of the Church Choir for about 30 years, diligently serving God. She
was committed to her neighborhood association, her community fellowships, the Aramoko Unity Sisters Club and several other groups and associations that she belonged to.
I give God praise for blessing you with good health. You lived well, you ran a good race and you finished strong. You always had a song in your mouth, you danced freely, and you were always full of joy. The outpouring of love following your demise has been overwhelming. I am so blessed to be your son and to have been raised by you.
I love you very much. I am confident that you are resting in the bosom of your maker. Heaven has indeed gained an angel!
Rest on till we meet again


March 14, 2021
March 14, 2021
Bolaji - My mum was a pillar of strength. Not the physical kind, but the quiet inner kind. She was full of grit. She was unbreakable. It is the way she was raised by her mother, Mama Caro (why my grandmother was identified by the 3rd of all her children remains a mystery), who herself was a true feminist, decades before feminism was a thing. That same quiet inner strength I see in my aunts, my sister, my cousins, and my nieces. My mom belongs to a lineage of smart, strong women.

I saw my mum cry only once in the 46 years I was blessed to spend with her. It was when we lost my cousin. I remember it now as clear as day. I must have been about 8 years old. I was standing in the courtyard of our house at Oda Road when I heard her piercing agonized cry ring out loud from our living room. I never heard that sound from her before and never again after. I rushed over to see my mum crumpled in a heap on the living room carpet, wracked with grief as the bearers of the news struggled to hold her up. When my mum loved, she loved completely. Unconditionally.

My mum was a gifted manager. Nobody I know is as well organized as my mum. Not even close. Whatever she did, at home, at work, in church, her social engagements, mum excelled. My mum was a born leader. If you wanted to get things done, say build a house, you go to my mum. Always unassuming, mum’s meticulous ability to organize people, processes and things meant she always played an outsized role in any organization or institution she found herself. Whether in the civil service where she achieved the pinnacle of administrative managerial success, or in the community social club she pioneered and had to plead to be relieved of the honorary role of Lifetime President, or in her regular bible study sessions, my mum was that vocal, engaged, steady, reliable presence. Just a few years back, a career opportunity came calling that required proof of university admission. I had not needed that paperwork in almost 30 years and was at my wits end how to locate it. On a whim, I called my mum to ask if, per chance, she could help. I knew it was a long shot. She had it for me within 24 hrs! She knew exactly where she had it filed 30 years later! That was my mum.

My mum is the most selfless human I know. Always giving. Never asking. In the last several years, even as her short-term memory started to fail and her eyesight started to give, she insisted on not being dependent, in her own unique, quiet but firm way. During one of my last visits with her, she was staying with Sis in Ife (where we had ‘conspired’ to have her live and be cared for). She came over, sat next to me, and asked, we are going back to Akure tomorrow right? She nodded and smiled agreeably as I carefully explained to her that she lives in Ife now. The next day, and the one after, she came back and asked me the same question as if for the very first time. Until I finally got the message. No fussing, no shouting, my mum knew how to get her point across. My mum lived her life on her own terms, and what a beautiful life it was. 

My mum always carried laughter in her heart and a smile on her face. My fondest childhood memories were when all the ‘mummies’ got together. Oh, how they laughed! The joyousness of those occasions brings a smile to my face to this day.

In the last couple of years, my mum would call often and say, mo kan fe gbo ohun e ni. That always brought tears to my eyes. She just wanted to know I was doing okay. She went out of her way to assure me all was well. It was never about her. It has never been about her. What I looked forward to the most about our conversations was her laugh. I loved to hear her laugh. It was my reassurance that all is well. I will miss your laugh mum. You did well. Rest well Caroline.
March 14, 2021
March 14, 2021
Olufisola - Mum passed on a few days to her 85th birthday. We were looking forward to celebrating her on the milestone....but Heaven had other plans. She left us so quietly that it seemed unreal. Then again, in all things we give thanks to God; this is what she taught us to do.
So today my heart is filled with gratitude to God for the honor and privilege to have been your daughter. You loved us unconditionally and you cared for us with the whole of your heart.
Mum was a Godly woman. I am grateful to God for the godly legacy you left behind for us. Undoubtedly, the greatest legacy one can pass to her children and grandchildren is the legacy of character and faith. You lived an exemplary life, a life of faith, integrity, self-sacrifice, devotion and love. These are values that you lived by and you taught us over the years. You were a pillar of support to your children and family. We were always so confident that someone was constantly praying for us, gave us so much joy. It was all prayers and laughter whenever we spoke.
I want to thank you for being a loving mother. You brought up the finest children anyone could ever pray to have and I am indeed honored to be married to one of them.
Mummy we love you but God loves you more. I have no doubt that you have joined the host of heaven in worshiping your God as you did when you were here on earth. Our joy is that you knew Him so we do not mourn like those who do not have hope.
I will say goodbye the way you used to, “oyi da’abo na” (bye for now). Till we meet to part no more!
Sun re ooo...Iya oni inu ire. Rest in His Bosom.
March 14, 2021
March 14, 2021
Gbeminiyi - “Laughter is therapeutic. It can instill hope in those facing heartache, illness, and war.” My grandmother was a lot of things. She was a mother, a daughter, a wife, a sister and a friend. But if I were to describe her in only one adjective, it would be joyous. Never, in my seventeen years of living had I seen my grandmother without a smile on her face. Her laughter constantly echoes through every building she walks in, presenting a homely and welcoming atmosphere. She taught me to smile through my sorrows and eventually my pain will turn into joy. I remember one of our numerous visits to Akure, we had just finished a nine-hour drive and were waiting for someone to open the gate to the compound. Imagine our surprise when my seventy-five year old grandmother slightly opened the gate to reveal her struggling to lift the bar high enough. Her excitement to see us overthrew her patience to get help from someone else in the house. Even as the gate flew back , nearly hitting her head, she smiled. Her smile turned my grouginess to excitement and my fatigue to joy. That is the life she led, constantly inspiring those around her through her happiness.
March 14, 2021
March 14, 2021
Ayooluwa - Being the baby of the house, I always had my grandma’s undivided attention. She would play with me when everyone else was busy and comfort me when I was sad. Grandma even taught me how to play Ludo. Even though she was much better than I was, she still let me win some games against her. She always went out of her way to make me happy and I will always love her for that. I hope to be just like her when I have grandkids.
March 14, 2021
March 14, 2021
Tofarati - My earliest memory of Grandma was her singing Judy Apatow’s ‘Good Morning to You’ to me in the early morning at her house, trying to get me out of bed so I could either do some work or eat; I forget. If you’ve never heard it, the song is cheerful, upbeat and, when sang with love, makes you feel warm inside. It’s the perfect start to a day. I think this epitomises her character; her heart. She wanted us to have amazing days by sharing the joy and cheer in her heart with us, and I am sure she spread that joy and cheer with others in many other ways.

She was kind and patient; ever-willing to play what seemed like the 100th Ludo or Scrabble game in a row with my sister and I because she understood that, to us, beating her in a game of Ludo meant a lot more than what it would have meant to her; ever-willing to try out new things she definitely would not have liked just to have a connection with her grandchildren. I’m still sorry about feeding her Sour Cream and Onion Pringles or making her sit through a couple Ben 10 episodes.

Lastly, I saw her as strong and intelligent. It’s no wonder she led a family of successful, smart, determined and invigorating people over my lifetime so far being the leader she was. A PhD holder, an entrepreneur and steadfast in her morals and in Christ; I can only hope to realise the success she had in academia or in entrepreneurship in my own endeavours.

My grandma was a beacon of light that lit up every dark room she entered.
She will be sorely missed.
March 14, 2021
March 14, 2021
Omotoyosi - Memories of her are sweet and I am so thankful!
Grandma my first best friend
Grandma the peacemaker between myself and great grandma Ilemia
Grandma taught me my first prayer
"God bless mummy, God bless daddy, God bless everybody in the whole world"
My grandma taught me service, dedication and hard work. Grandma was always on the move and never idle.
Grandma sang and continued singing even to the end.
We always had one business and project going on in the house- from MAM soap to our fishery to the chickens and the eggs and of course our one stop neighborhood shop!!
Grandma's farm, we were so blessed to have the most amazing spread of fruits in the back garden and grandma was always looking for new fruits to add. Our pineapples right by the kitchen window.
Grandma's laugh
Grandma's calls
Grandma offering to send me airtime when I moved to the UK
Grandma ALWAYS checking on me
Most importantly, grandma teaching me my first memory verse
"Proverbs3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding"
It has remained an anchor for me even through life and with this, I can trust in the Lord that Grandma, I will see you again. I am thankful that your loved the Lord so much. You served him with all you had. You were kind and sweet. You were gentle and your were humble.
It hurts not to have you around honestly but I am comforted knowing you are resting and will be united with our saviour soon where you can continue singing with him.
Till we meet again grandma
Till we meet again at the feet of the Lord
I love you always and Oluwadamilare loves you too!!
March 14, 2021
March 14, 2021
Ademola - In a few years that I knew Grandma I was always amazed by her glowing spirit. I was always encouraged by her joyful disposition towards life, she was always smiling, always cheerful, always thankful to God and it was clear that she was someone who encouraged many people and brightened their lives because of her loving nature. Just hearing her voice was enough to lift the spirit. She will be sorely missed. She was a very caring lady who loved her family deeply and was also deeply loved by Her family and by God’s grace we will all meet again in heaven.
March 14, 2021
March 14, 2021
Ayomide - People don't last forever but memories do. Grandma is one of the sweetest, most hardworking, loving and God-fearing women I know. I remember when I used to sleep in her bed during Christmas holidays when the house was full. I remember the numerous amounts of fruit trees she had and how we enjoyed the produce in and out of season. The shop, the soap making room, feeding the chickens and fish..so many sweet memories, it was always a delight to visit her. I most importantly remember her unending prayers (lol), I'm sure many of them have brought me to where I am today.

I didn't get to spend any time with her over the last 5-6 years due to distance but her calls were just as soothing and exciting as her presence. You were and still are incredible. I was joyed when I heard your last words were songs of praise to God. I'm sure He's delighted to have you singing constantly in His presence.

Rest on Grandma, you are and will always be loved
March 14, 2021
March 14, 2021
Iniabiasi - Her smile, one thing i will never forget. She had a smile and laughter that could brighten up anyone’s day no matter how bad. Over the last couple years grandma called me almost every other week. First of all I thought why me over everyone else but after a while it was one of the things I looked forward to during the week. Looking back it feels like she always wanted was to get the best out of everyone in every circumstance. Hopefully I can be best version of myself for her as well. Rest easy grandma, you’ll be forever in our hearts.

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April 24, 2023
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 "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Mummy, Happy Birthday to you!!"
 Today would have been your Birthday on Earth but the Angels kmow best! I wish you a Sweet one in Heaven, ma.
 YOU ARE TRULY MISSED BUT CONTINUE TO SING WITH THE HEAVENLY HOSTS!!
 Love from "A - Seyi - Seyi".
Her Life

Caroline's Legacy

March 7, 2021
Mrs. Caroline Aduke Ibijolatan Folayan was born on the 24th of April, 1935 to the great
Ilemia family of Iddo-Ajinnare, now known as Ido-Ile in Ekiti West Local Government Area of Ekiti late mother, Mrs. Bernice Fapoopo Ilemia, namely Michael Oladele, Susanah Monisola, Caroline Aduke, Lydia Olufunke and Abake Olabintan Ilemia.

She started her primary education at the St. John`s Primary School, Iddo-Ajinnare sometime in the mid-1940s. Shortly after, she followed her senior sister,y then Miss Susanah Monisola Ilemia (now Chief (Mrs) Susanah Monisola Ayeni) to her Teaching Post at Ipoti-Odoehin United Primary School, living at Ipoti with her. When this her senior sister was transferred to Are-Afao United Primary School, she moved with her until they settled in Aramoko from where she moved to join her brother, late Mr. Michael Oladele Ilemia in Sabongida-Ora in 1953.

At Sabongida – Ora, she gained admission into the St John`s Primary School in standard six. In this same year, 1953 while in standard six, she sat for the entrance examinations to secondary school, and was admitted to Queen`s School, Ede. In January, 1954, she entered Queen`s School, Ede where she worked very hard to make her School Certificate Examination in December, 1958. As a result of her devotion to her studies, the Principal of Queen`s School, Ede, Miss Hobson in 1955 applied for a remission of fees on her behalf to the Western Regional Government of Nigeria which was granted to her and made it possible for her to complete her studies in Queen`s School, Ede without paying any further School Fees.

Miss Caroline Aduke Ilemia decided to go straight to Lagos for Secretariat studies after leaving Queen`s School, Ede in December 1958. It was there she met Mr. David Afolabi Folayan from Aramoko-Ekiti who became her husband till death did them part. The union is blessed
with three Children, Professor Morenike Oluwatoyin Folayan, Mr. Afolabi Folayan and Mr. Mobolaji Folayan.

She joined the Federal Civil Service in Lagos where she worked for several years until she relocated to the newly created Ondo State in 1979 and transferred her services to the Ondo State Civil Service. She rose through the ranks to reach the pinnacle of her career as a Confidential Secretary serving several Permanent Secretaries, Commissioners and Chief Judges of the Ondo State Judiciary. She retired meritoriously from the Ondo State Judiciary having attained the mandatory age of retirement.

Mrs. Caroline Aduke Ibijolatan Folayan was a Christian to the core. A member of the choir in the Church where she worshiped for all the years she lived in Akure, Chapel of the Annunciation, Archbishop Vining College of Theology, Akure. In September 1995, she embarked on the voluntary pilgrimage to Israel and was baptized in the River Jordan in Jerusalem. She was honored with the title of Justice of Peace (JP) by Governor Adeniyi Adebayo of Ekiti State and she was subsequently made a Customary Court Judge in Ekiti State where she served for several years.

Mrs. Caroline Aduke Ibijolatan Folayan was instrumental to the formation of the foremost Ladies association in Aramoko Ekiti, the Unity Sisters Club and served as its first President. She served as a member of the Boys Brigade Council; she was inaugurated as a member in
2008. She was also a devout member of several associations, Church fellowships and community associations till the very end.

She is survived by her sisters, in-laws, children, nephews, nieces, grandchildren and a great grandchild.

Recent stories

The slit eye that communicates - Morenike

April 26, 2021
Its something of a mystery for me how kids no longer can read the body language of their parents. We were brought up to read body cues and act. Well, my mum had body cues
I recall one of those Christmas holidays to Aramoko. That is another story for another day. The water was cold and we had to take our bath with cold water. I come from kindred that we all take our baths with hot water even when the sun is shining at its brightest. Therefore, taking baths with cold water was one major reason I was willing to miss the visits to Aramoko.
Anywayz, we were at Aramoko this Christmas and my uncle was served steaming pounded yam (not poundo yam) for breakfast. He invited me to eat. Straight I jumped on the seat he offered, washed my hands and was just about to dive my hands into the elegantly looking white pounded yam when I made the gravest mistake, an error I still blame myself for till this day. I looked at my mother. 
Of course she was not looking at me. Her was was facing straight but I caught the glimpse of her slitted eyes and she biting on the right side of her lips. Instantly, I jumped up from the seat and declared I was not eating again. My uncle asked and entreated me to eat. All the while my mother said nothing and left the room when the entreatment started. 
Till today, my uncle never knew why I changed my mind. My mother never discussed the issue with me. And I continue to live with the regret of my greatest error – I should have looked at her face AFTER I finished eating. 

WON TI M’ATUPA LO

April 7, 2021
In the early sixties when we were staying at No. 28 Majaro Street, Onike,
Yaba in Mr. Nylander’s house, there was a female lawyer who was the 1st
African female lawyer living in one of the four flats in the compound.
The lawyer had an elderly woman as her housemaid who Sister Aduke called
Iya-Odo instead of Omo-Odo.
Every evening, the Iya Odo would come to our apartment to watch the
television after her madam had locked her door for the day.
An average Nigerian woman would not allow an housemaid to sit down with
her in her sitting room to watch TV but because of Sister Aduke friendly
nature and her belief that we are all equal before God, she would allow her
to watch the TV every evening.
One day, the Electricity Corporation of Nigeria’s (ECN) line tripped (the light
went off), the Iya-Odo who is not a Yoruba woman but from Mid-West said
Won ti m’atupa lo meaning “they have taken away the light”. Since that day
till her last day when, the light is off, Sister Aduke would jokingly say Won ti
matupa lo.
Now, she is in heaven where ECN/NEPA/PHCN/DISCO do not take the light.
Continue to rest in peace my darling sister.
Fondly remembered by
Engr. (Mrs.) Mary Emiola Awolokun
Sister-in-Law.

Big Mummy | By Folasade Ofi

April 7, 2021

Big mummy Mrs Aduke Caroline Folayan was such a love able woman. I was opportune to live with her from 1980 November till late 1982. Always full of hospitality and love, of course she took me like her own daughter and we never had any itch at any day. Her husband was my dad immediate elder brother but l did relate better with her more than my big daddy so much so that even when l have somewhere to go to sleep over out of the house once l tell her and she will talk it over with her husband and the rest is history. She loved happiness like ki lode? She loved love, always happy and laughs at any given opportunity and her type of laughter is infectious, she loves given a lot. I could remember the customized  TShirt  she made with my name written on it during one of her trips to UK. I so much cherished it especially because it came from her. She loves making same dress for us despite my age difference with my cousins, she will take her time to park us to photographer and we would have special shots together abeg we had fun growing up na understatement courtesy of this wonderful big mummy. Whenever her other siblings comes around ( the three musketeers) it means a lot of house shores work for me but l never felt it because of so much gist and laughter from all of them. The story of 6 pieces of dodo meta pere from Professor Mrs Olufunke Eegunjobi, it doesn’t matter the number of times they will all laugh about it as if it was just coming from the grape vine. How many will l mention is it Aunty Abake’s chilled beer that must always follow a plate of amala with ewedu soup. Or big mummy’s love for isale pot of eko riro. After eating the Eko riro with Okro soup. The burnt Eko from the bottom of the pot should not be thrown away, mummy will rinse it and put in a plate as another important delicacy even more important more than the real Eko riro. I can’t end this tribute without mentioning how we all look forward to farmers bringing their farm proceeds from their farm while passing in front of our house at Oda road quarters Akure. We would buy fresh vegetables, fresh corn and bunches of plantains, which makes me and my cousins vulnerable to eating fried plantains every time which are usually specially cut into big sizes. A beg l can go on and on or is it the special personified way she calls me ? Saade miiii. She will always call to ask for my welfare, my husband and my children. Oh l will miss you greatly. The last time l saw you was when you dropped me off at the Warri motor park in Akure on the following day after Toyosi’s introduction ceremony and l was admiring your strength of driving yourself at that age without knowing that was going to be my last time of seeing you. Well to God be the glory you indeed lived a good life and you’re already resting in the bosom of your maker, sun re o iya oninu rere we will meet on the resurrection morning where we shall meet to part no more! From Folasade Folayan- Ofi.

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