ForeverMissed
This memorial was created in memory of our son, brother and friend, Carson von Aspen. We will love him always and remember him forever.
Posted by Carsons Crusaders on April 8, 2021
The days and months rush by, in contrast to the day you passed when time was at a standstill.
Some days rapid passage is welcomed, knowing we are one day closer to reunification with you.
Other days, I wish time would pause, allowing processing of your absence with reminiscence of memories to fill the large void your silence leaves behind.
Suicide strangles, smothers and squelches hope.
It stole your sense of wonder, your spark and sniffed out your life light.
Suicide, the personification of evil, tricking your mind into telling you worthless lies, clouding your discernment, deceiving your ability to recognize your worthiness, your love, your strength to overcome.
I believe you didn’t want to leave and how I wish we were able to have known, to have helped you fight and convince you otherwise.
The responsibility and duty to carry on your wish has now shifted to those you left behind.

Sharing your story of your love of friends, your competitive spirit, your compassion for others also lost and figuring out life’s purpose.
You continue to reach out from beyond the veil to guide others and warn of worry to those you love.
It is in this Hope we cry, we grieve, but we survive. We crusade on, in your name, to be a light in the darkness, the hand to pull back a soul from the depth, a defeater of suicide. ❤️

Leave a Tribute

 
Recent Tributes
Posted by Carsons Crusaders on April 8, 2021
The days and months rush by, in contrast to the day you passed when time was at a standstill.
Some days rapid passage is welcomed, knowing we are one day closer to reunification with you.
Other days, I wish time would pause, allowing processing of your absence with reminiscence of memories to fill the large void your silence leaves behind.
Suicide strangles, smothers and squelches hope.
It stole your sense of wonder, your spark and sniffed out your life light.
Suicide, the personification of evil, tricking your mind into telling you worthless lies, clouding your discernment, deceiving your ability to recognize your worthiness, your love, your strength to overcome.
I believe you didn’t want to leave and how I wish we were able to have known, to have helped you fight and convince you otherwise.
The responsibility and duty to carry on your wish has now shifted to those you left behind.

Sharing your story of your love of friends, your competitive spirit, your compassion for others also lost and figuring out life’s purpose.
You continue to reach out from beyond the veil to guide others and warn of worry to those you love.
It is in this Hope we cry, we grieve, but we survive. We crusade on, in your name, to be a light in the darkness, the hand to pull back a soul from the depth, a defeater of suicide. ❤️
Recent stories

34 months

Shared by Carsons Crusaders on April 12, 2021
I read an article today about grief, 

”Meaning is what we make happen after loss” ~ DK

David Kessler is a grieving man, his meaning is found in helping others navigate their loss.
Since you have passed I often wonder where my meaning will be, how it evolves and at times is it all too much?

Do the girls feel slighted by the attention given to you, when you are no longer present to acknowledge it?
Would the memorials be the same if your death was due to an overdose, an accident, disease or homicide?
I’ve even been accused of paying more attention to you after death then when you were alive ( yeah people are mean). 

At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what people think about my grief. The only thing I can own is my journey. Just as every person affected by death has their own journey, a voyage to find meaning in sometimes seemingly senseless loss. How they choose to navigate that journey is as individualized as DNA.

No right or wrong, no tribute too big or small. 
I will never answer how my grief may be different because these are the circumstances of loss that I have been given. I wasn’t afforded a choice.

So today I made a deposit on a physical memorial,
perhaps it will be a place others can find purpose in their search for meaning in the face of loss.
In the meantime, welcome to a place where memories can be shared whether it is happy, sad, angry or a place to reflect. 
Instagram is a photo collection, this space allows people we have influenced even after you have left to continue to share memories and actions inspired by Number 5. 


In continued memory my son.

❤️ Mom