Remember that one trip to WDW when your mom and I were in the front seats driving, and you and my Barb were in the back with the other kids. I was driving and looking for our turn when both Cass and I agreed that the next corner we turned. We felt very sure about this, but no, Barb said it's the street after this one. We argued awhile, but I'm not sure what I did, but Barb was right! Cass and I were amazed that despite having a limited traffic view and the kid chaos in the back, Barb knew the right street!

This led to a much funnier event (at my expense) that had the sisters rolling in the aisle. We were on International Drive at a souvenir shop at a very large, busy intersection. The ladies were looking at mugs. I was concerned about getting out of the parking lot and having to make a left turn. I asked the Asian proprietor about the best way to get out and go back to the hotel. Of course, I thought I had asked him clearly what I needed (in my mind), but he told me in a very slow, distinct voice: "go out this door. See the button on the pole. Push it and the light will turn green and you can walk safely". Well Cass and Barb heard the whole thing and broke out laughing so hard, one of them dropped a mug! I still get ribbed to this day over this.

Cass and Sis are very much missed.

Love,
Uncle Bill/Dad

"In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds it morning and is refreshed"
                                      Khalil Gibran

Catherine/Cathy/Cass/Aunt Cassie/Sis/Mom died two years ago today. I got the phone call from the hospice around 4:15am. I was up, since I had been startled awake about 15 minutes beforehand. The nurse on the phone told me mom had died around 4am.

I am not religious, I don’t believe in god, and I pretty much reject the metaphysical entirely. I don’t think my mom has “moved on to a better place,” and I don’t believe we have souls that outlast our bodies. But I also can’t explain why I awoke at the precise time of my mother’s death. Thinking about this today, I am reminded of a quote from Hamlet: “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horacio, that are dreamed of in your philosophy.” I suppose that’s true for most of us.

At any rate, my general philosophy is that people live on in the hearts and minds of others. As long as my mom’s friends and family remain somehow moved by her presence, she is with us.

Anyone who knew Cathy, particularly in the latter half of her life, knew my mother as a woman who defied classification. She was one of a kind. She attended church weekly and never questioned the faith she was raised in. She also cursed like a sailor and accepted her atheist daughter without hesitation. She was fiercely loyal to family and friends. And she would keep at a firm distance anyone who made a poor first impression. (Some of my former boyfriends come to mind.) She was a fierce Democrat who remained suspicious of Republicans. And she could hold a grudge like nobody’s business. But Cass gave and gave and gave, without expecting anything in return. She loved harder and longer than anyone I’d ever met.

Mom also claimed to be the unquestioned authority in many areas. She insisted on doing many things herself because, “If I don’t do it, it’s not done right.” It was not possible for my mother’s house to be “clean enough.” It was not possible to do any task “too early.” It was not possible to replicate any of her recipes.

But my mother also suffered as the spouse of a man who treated her harshly and often cruelly for more than 30 years, and she only shared that burden with a select few in her later years. Mom suffered more in her marriage that even I will ever know, but she was determined not to let that suffering define her. She searched for and found outlets that allowed her to express her love of life: Time spent with her beloved sister; time spent with her adopted “sister,” Dottie; time spent with her sister's kids; time spent working at the dental office she loved so much; time spent visiting me and my husband, taking us to amusement parks and lavish dinners. Mom was so easy to please. Take her to a bingo game and drop the occasional curse word, and she was your buddy. But after enjoying each of these activities, she returned home to a person she despised, and I’d see that look of foreboding in her eye. Nothing anyone said would convince her to leave. So she stayed, stealing bits and pieces of happiness whenever they presented themselves.

With the exception of her marriage, the toughest challenge I ever saw my mom face was the death of her beloved younger sister, also her best friend. I remember my aunt’s funeral, at which my mom broke down into sobs, telling me she “couldn’t go on.” Her words shocked me. I grew up watching my mother live through circumstances that would have leveled any other human being. Mom didn’t break easy, and she did go on to live a good deal of life without her sister, although never without the sorrow of her absence. She treated her sister’s kids like her own, and they knew her as their “second mother.”

To list what Cathy had to endure by virtue of being my mother would take this post into new territory. Suffice it to say that she remained by my side through multiple illnesses, hospitalizations, the sickness and death of a husband, and so, so much anger. Mom bore it all and, when with me, never once betrayed her own heartache.

Of course, today only marks one year since my mother’s physical death. Dementia had taken her from us several years ago. Toward the end, I wished for the end of her suffering to give her peace and finality to those who love her. The finality still eludes me, although I am grateful that mom’s suffering is over.

So, whether of not you knew Cathy, and whether or not any of this is news to you, spare a thought today for the 4-foot-10-inch spitfire lady who loved fiercely and laughed hard.

I only met Cassie three times. Her daughter is married to my nephew so those meetings were occasions of celebration- marriage, Christmas and vacation.  Cassie immediately struck me as a very warm woman who was easy to relate to. Shawn’s mother (her son in law) and I are sisters.   I will always remember the first time I met Cassie.  She made a point to tell me to cherish my sister because she loved and missed her sister so very much. She felt sisters had a special relationship. (I took her advice!) 

It was extremely apparent that she loved Barbara very much. She seemed to light up whenever she talked about spending time with her. Cassie and I shared a hotel room for a week on one trip and her good sense of humor made it a pleasant experience. She was funny and I can only imagine what a good friend she must be to those in her life. While around me she laughed easily and often.  I regret that I did not live close enough to get to know her better.

I will never forget the personality and character of Cass. We understood each other's sarcasm and she had no problem stating her opinion! I respected that about her. I remember for a while, Cass would introduce herself to new acquaintances as "Barb's Mom". Barb wasn't thrilled about it, as it type-casted Cass [as her sole purpose in life!] It couldn't be further from the truth. To me, Cass was a special friend and advisor while she was a best friend and beloved mother to Barb. May her memories live on eternally!

Catherine was a wonderful neighbor and a great friend. Every Easter, we could always expect a gift of Chocolate eggs to be delivered to our door. When my grand children would visit, she always had a special treat for them. She was a loving and caring Lady. I will always remember our afternoon talks.

Cass was my cousin and, since she was slightly older than the rest of us, was usually the "adult" among us. However, that was in name only since Cass enjoyed everything as much as the rest of us did. I remember many happy moments back to the 1950's when our family would get together for birthdays, holidays, crab feasts and dinners. Christmas was always special when we got together to exchange presents and have fun running the train sets in each other's "Christmas gardens". I can even remember trying to sled down Foster Avenue (where Cass and her family lived) on a barely-snow-covered street without much success but many laughs. Oh how the years have flown by and I miss Cass a lot!  

In February 1973, Cass gave me a very special honor. She asked me to be Barb's godfather with her sister as godmother. That is an honor which I will treasure always. 

I can still remember the day that Cass called me to tell me about Tristan's birth. I could hear her total excitement and imagine that special smile that Cass had. I can remember Cass's joy in going to a Barry Manilow concert with Barb and doing so many other things with her. 

As I said, I will miss Cass a lot. I hope to forget about the last couple of years of dementia and concentrate on the great memories from smoking a cigar to saying "give me strength" as well as that special ear-to-ear smile.

As one of Barb's other college friends, I also witnessed how kind and generous Ms. Cathy was. I remember the care packages filled with all sorts of goodies she would send. In fact, the very first time I've had Peeps and Cadbury cream eggs was from an Easter basket she made for Barb. MANY years later, she helped Barb throw a great surprise baby shower for me. She cared and loved Barb so much that it extended to even her friends. I am grateful for how she has touched my life and for the example she has set as a mom.

It was the summer of 1964 and I had just graduated from college.
Cathy and I decided to vacation together for a week in Miami Beach before I started my new full time job.
Things did not go well from the get go.
Cue: drum roll.
It was a dark and stormy night and the air conditioning did not work during our very long overnight train ride.
However, our huge hotel was right on the beach, and we had two pleasant days before Hurricane Cleo decided that it was also time for her to pay a visit to Miami Beach.
Howling winds, downed trees, shattered glass everywhere, no electricity and dark as...
So we did what every sensible, young Catholic woman would do: we headed to the bar.
Obviously Cathy must have been the more proficient swiller because I passed out after two screwdrivers leaving Cathy up alone all night riding out the storm.
The remainder of the week was spent delicately navigating our way through and around tree skeletons, broken wires, palm fronds, and shards of glass.
No more beach time but a lot of laughs.

I have known Cathy since we were freshmen together at IND.
So, when a few years back I introduced her to a crowd of people as "my oldest friend",it did not sit well with her.
She, of a million giggles and laughs, was not pleased.
But, just momentarily, and she was back to her smiling self.

So sorry to hear of Cass's passing. We worked together for about five years at Maiden Choice Family Dentistry. What fun we had! I always remember Cass saying "Give Me Strength" (GMS) if things got a little stressful. She had such a pleasant witty personality. I also remember her greeting me with "Hi I". I was just amazed by her energy. She would come to work in the afternoon and tell us all the things she had done before work. She never seemed to get tired. And what a laugh she had. I feel so blessed to have known Cass. Now there is one more angel in Heaven.

Cathy would always identify herself to the IND group as:
"Catherine Mary, the Secretary"

Cass , a wonderful giving person. She will be missed.

What I'll always remember about Cass is listening to her, my mom and (aunt)Barb cackling while drinking fuzzy navels on Barb's front porch when Cass and you would come to Ohio to visit. They even had a little too much to drink one evening before church, and had to much fun during the sermon.  She had the most beautiful smile and laugh.

When I was in college with Barb, I was envious of the treats she would bring her daughter--homemade fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and lima beans, or a feast of stone crab legs and butter sauce for dipping. Years later when I helped Cathy throw a baby shower for Barb, she had the best ideas about food, including the Barbie-doll-shaped cake and two types of punch, one spiked and one not (for the pregnant mom-to-be). Cathy showed her love by feeding us all exceedingly well and she sure knew how to throw a party. I will miss her.