One night of tossing and turning, I couldn't sleep. I heard a voice, it was my grandma's telling me, Mona, matulog ka na. (Meaning in Tagalog, Mona go to sleep.) I wasn't scared at all. Her voice gave me comfort knowing she's still around. I am now starting to believe there is definitely life after death. 

It's already the year 2022... and I still feel her around me, watching me... even when I travel. There were so many times I could've died, but I know for some reason, I have angels watching me.... and she is definitely one of them. I love and miss you Lola Kaye! I know you're in heaven watching me and your great grandson Michael. I'm sure if you were alive, you would be there for him as much as you were there for me. I know you have the patience and you were the most kind hearted woman I've ever known. No one can compare to your love and personality. I will see you in heaven Lola Kaye. Guide me always. Missing your smile, hugs, laugh and YOU most importantly. I will never forget you till I die.

There were so many good memories about this special woman.  Not only is she my mother's mom, but she was also my second mom - alongside my grandpa, Lola Sario (who too took good care of me as I was growing up). I remember I grew up with them in a household and they always were very protective and watchful over me, especially during my highschool (teenage) years.  My grandma (Lola Kaye) would even get my friend's phone numbers, and if I don't come home earlier or was late from an outing with my friends, she would call one of them, and ask them what time would we be coming home - she was such a sweetheart and always cared for my safety.  Although, I used to find those times kind of too much, I realized now as I'm older, it was for the best.  Now, I'm a mom myself and I totally understand where she's coming from, as I am a mom to a now almost 5 year old boy named Michael Blade Santos Tesoro who is my world - my everything.  My grandma's teachings will always live on within me and although she's no longer here, I know she's always with me in my heart, soul and of course her spirit. That goes for my grandpa as well. I'm sure if my grandma was alive, she would always be with me taking care of my son, as she loved children.... 

All I can remember with Lola Kaye is her love, guidance and great support for me throughout the years of me growing up from baby to my mid-20s. She passed when I was 25 years old, and her being 81 years old. I find it a coincidence of the age in how she passed, because as I look at it, she was born in 1925 and I was 25 when she passed, and she died at 81 and I was born in 1981. She is the best grandma anyone can ask for! She always used to cook my favorite Filipino dishes, like giniling and sinigang and she would make the best lumpias too! She also used to help me do my highschool homework like US History and even sometimes Math. She was a very caring person, not only did she care about me, but she cared deeply about her 4 kids (my mom being the only girl, and my three uncles)! She made sure they were always okay.  I remember whenever she would have her birthday coming up and no one remembered she wouldn’t make it a big deal and she would say, it’s just another day for me, but I was hoping back then I wish I could turn back the time, and throw her a party when possible, but I was still too young then to even do party planning like that, because my mindset back then was just on highschool and my friends, but now I realized that those were the most important days with her. Growing up, I used to always sleep next to her in bed and hug her as she was my comfort zone. Even during long car rides, she was the one I always laid down on comfortably because she was who made me feel comfortable in every situation. I miss her so much! When she was in the hospital before she passed, I always visited her and would cry next to her because I was afraid of her leaving me in this world. I knew she was the only one who would love me so much! No one ever loved me as much as she did! I know she’s in heaven now, and I try to visit her grave as much as I can, even yes during this corona virus pandemic. I love you Lola Kaye! I know you’re resting in peace now, but I do have dreams about you every now and then. I know it’s your reminder that you will always love me and will be waiting for me in heaven also.