ForeverMissed
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Her Life

Justin Graduating 8th Grade

June 3, 2017

Mom you would have been SO proud. We ended the boy's last day at Jelly Cafe as usual.  I know you were there.  I love you. 

Mom's Eulogy

November 10, 2016
The eulogy I wrote and read at Mom's service.  It was much, much longer but I cut it down in order to get through it-

I want to thank all of you for being here today to celebrate my mom.  I always knew what an amazing person she was, but these last few months, with all the love and support from near and far, I'm more convinced than ever.  I know mom would be humbled and moved to tears knowing how many people helped, and came to be with us.  Thank you all so much.

There are really no words to describe my love for my mom.  Only feelings. She was my home, my sanctuary.  She was my insides.  My guts, my compassion, my loyalty, my values, my ability to see good and look on the bright side.

Most of all she was my best friend.  So hearing her cancer diagnosis on July 12th was incredibly crushing for me- But I can't even fathom what it was like for her. How scared she must have felt.   No sooner were we out of the doctor's office though, when she grabbed my arm and said, "Hey! It's OK.  I want you to know I've had a wonderful life." 

And that's Mom. She could pull you up and out of the darkest places, even when faced with her own certain death. She was always incredibly brave, thoughtful and positive. 

She always talked about making a wonderful life for her and I, the word wonderful inspired by her favorite movie.   If you haven't seen “it’s a wonderful life”, I hope you’ll watch it this holiday season in her honor.

And boy did she give me a wonderful life.  Hands down, I had the best life a girl can have.   In my youth, I got to have and experience things most kids only dream of.  In my 20s I got to work for her which lead to a phenomenal career in staffing.  In my 30s I got to experience her as an incredible grandmother.  

Mom loved her grandsons so much she glowed anytime she got around them.  And there wasn't anything she wouldn't do with them- from sliding down the stairs, building forts, tickle wars and snow tubing.  They kept her young and she was so incredibly proud of them.  They'll miss her.  Especially little Ethan who had her room riddled with toys till the very end, and loved giving her kisses each night before bed.

Out of all the time I had with mom at the end, I wish I'd asked for a legacy quote.  But if I were to guess, it would be "love truly, be kind, have courage and laugh". Because if you were lucky enough to know her, you know she loved genuinely and deeply.  You also know how kind she was-how quickly she’d drop everything to help you-  even if it meant serious sacrifice on her part.  You know she was one of the most determined and courageous people you know.  And most of all you know her infectious laugh and smile.    

And you know she was a character-  I have to add this because I know she wouldn't want this to get too serious.  She was always late, often by hours. She had serious addictions to shopping and the QVC network, mayonnaise and coffee.  And she loved her coffee strong- as in fill it to the very top of the filter, until it breaks your machine strong. 

She loved gardening or “playing in the dirt” as she called it. She loved Disney movies, animals and even bugs- which she always wanted to catch and show me even though it made me scream.  She loved to dance, especially to ZZ Top and Stevie Ray Vaughn.    And at the end, she loved her "good stuff"- I'll leave you to imagine what that might be.

I love you mom.  I'm getting through this with the strength and determination you taught me.  Thank you for being you, thank you for who I am, and thank you for leading me to a wonderful life. Because it truly is a wonderful life. 

Turning 50

October 18, 2016

We wanted Mom's 50th birthday to be really special.  I told her to get ready as a "few" of us were going to come by her Huntley house- I made it sound like it would just a few of us family celebrating her birthday.

When her doorbell started ringing in droves though, she realized quickly what was going on and was defintiely surprised.  :) I think there were over 50 of us packed in there at one point and I recall her continuing to say, "Oh my gosh, how many people are coming?!"  She had a lot of friends :)

We had a video play for her which you can see in the gallery under videos, and a scrap book my wonderful friend Jacki Firth helped put together.  Here are a few stories shared in that book from friends and family:

** We both worked together at the old CC Chicago and both of us were addicted to the “Little Debbie-Chocolate-Cover-Waffle” which you could find in the candy machine on the main floor under “F2”.   We ate them all the time and as an abbreviation, we always called it “F2”.  About 10-12 years later, I was living in Los Angeles at the time and somebody passed me a communication from Judy.  Apparently, the person was concerned and wanted to give me reassurance the communication came from Judy and not from him.  So, he came back with “I don’t know what this means, but she said to tell you “F2”.  I knew no one else could originate it but Judy!!!!  - Adva Avni

** When her father was dying of cancer and couldn't get treatment due to not having medical insurance she did everything she possibly could to find a way to get him the help he needed even though he hadn’t been in contact with her for years until then.  –Sheila Drews

** Judy really touched my heart when she suffered through performing in an Estonian folk dance performance I was directing. She looked better in my traditional Estonian costume than I ever did. She really didn't want to do it but did a great job. What a trooper. – Mary Ann Caroline

** She lived very close to where my boyfriend lived so she would always let him come over to her house when I was there and later he became my husband. It was the tree in her yard that I ran into with my bike when I was looking at him (Steve) mowing the lawn without his shirt on, got a little distracted and ran up the curb and smashed dab into her tree. I was on my way to her house!  It was hilarious but that is how I met and started dating my husband.  -Rita Trubatisky

** We met many years ago through my father whom Judy placed in a position in Texas.  He referred me to her because of her professionalism and how she handled his move to Texas.  I wound up being lucky enough to work with her.  I came out to train with her and her team.  I happened to have been out in Illinois during Easter and she welcomed me into her home and shared some of her most delicious recipes; one that I still make today “Judy’s Stuffed Mushrooms”.  It was an amazing couple of weeks learning her business and meeting her family- it was truly life changing.   As years passed, we have worked together on other projects and again I had the honor of learning so much more from her.  Just recently, I opened up my staffing company and again I can’t thank her enough.  I called her up because I knew she would be so excited for me and not talk me out of doing it but cheering me on.  When I spoke with her, she did more than cheer me on she assisted me in getting all the things in order that I needed to get the business rolling faster.  I really can’t thank her enough.  She is an amazing woman and I really wish I could be there for her special day.  We will have to make plans for all of us to get together and have some fun– Francine Brown

** I remember that she loved dancing even when she was younger and we used to dance in her living room to Tammy Wynette, as if that does not date her!! LOL She loved country and western! -Rita Trubatisky

** One day, we were out on our boat with Judy. The Fox River was extremely choppy that day. We took off going very fast, I looked back at Judy & she was holding on for dear life, screaming “Whooooooooaaaaaa!!!”… The look on her face was priceless! -Sandy Ruth

** Did you know Judy actually liked to ride with me on my motorcycle?  But when I needed to make a turn, Judy would turn ME, attempting to assist in the turn I suspect! I found it funny as hell. I look forward to riding with Judy again, as I am having trouble with the turns! -John Wyman

** When we were on the cruise ship April 2006 the pool deck was so hot she had to do the chicken dance to walk across it. It was hysterical!!! –Sheila Drews

** In our immediate family, Judy was always known for her weird food concoctions and her inability to cook.  When you looked in her refrigerator in her apartment you might find spoiled milk, ketchup, mayo and maybe some other odds and ends.  In fact, one day when I was in her apartment, I told her that her milk was spoiled- it was well past the expiration date.  She tasted it and said it “taste’s fine!”.  She loved to eat potato chips dipped in ketchup.  Judy frequently made her famous “beanies and weenies” (hotdogs with pork & beans), which I loved when I was a kid but I don’t think I would be thrilled with today. Sherry, my other sister, would always say Judy could not even boil an egg.  Funny how far she’s come… she’s practically a gourmet chef.  Eat your heart out- SHE CAN COOK!!!!  -Lori Macpherson

** She always told me to put pots and pans on my head if a tornado came.  One day recently I heard tornado sirens and a huge rumbling.  Well, guess what I grabbed!  Had both the kids and I sitting down in the basement prepared with them.  I guess I left them down there because later that day, Dan found them and asked what pots and pans were doing in the basement floor.  My friend Jackie who was over was curious too.  Not thinking of how crazy it would sound I told them what I’d used them for and how my mom told me to do it.  Both of them had a great laugh- especially after Dan reminded me it was siren test day (Tuesday). -  Angie Sartori

** The time you, Jesse, me and Angie went golfing was the hardest laugh I have had in my entire life. It actually hurt me to see everyone swinging like HELL, if it had ever connected to the ball it would have went to Japan. - John Wyman

** She’s known to be a heavy sleeper.  One morning, we’d slept over at her house and two alarm clocks started going off very early in the morning.  At first as we woke up we asked her, “aren’t you going to turn those off?”… she replied with “just go back to sleep!!” and later “just ignore them!!”.  Finally, when we couldn’t take them anymore we told her “Judy, we can’t sleep!!”  She finally rose up really annoyed and while turning them off proclaimed “Piiiiiiicky!!! Picky, picky, picky, picky, picky!!!” - Lori & Lisa

** One funny story about Judy that comes to mind was when she lived in an apartment in Hanover Park and was trying to impress a guy who lived in the building. She was wearing high heels taking out the garbage one day and slipped on ice and skidded in front of the garbage truck.  I was not actually there to see it but I heard about it and I could only imagine how embarrassed Judy must have been.  Actually, she was the one who told me the story.  She is definitely one who can laugh at herself...another great quality!!! –Lori Macpherson

** I didn't see this but the way she told me the story, I was in tears laughing so hard.  When we used to hang out together, she was so fastidious with her appearance. She always has good haircuts, not a button out of place and never even went down the driveway to pick up the morning paper without her make-up on.  So one day, Angie was running late to get on the school bus. Judy's husband had already left for work and she was just about to get in the shower when she realized that Angie had forgotten something important. I forget what it was, something like a permission slip or a book or maybe her recorder. (Angie had already been scolded at school twice because she kept forgetting to bring her recorder on music class day.)  Anyway, Judy ran out to catch Angie with just a robe on. The door slammed shut and locked behind her!! It was winter out! She had to go to the neighbors barely dressed let alone without her "eyes on".  She tells the story much better than me. I was just dying laughing. – Mary Ann Caroline

** My favorite memory of Judy is the last time I took her out to dinner.  The way we talked for a long time about things in each of our lives was like we had known each other for ever. -Jerry Donahue

** When I was little my mom took me to carnivals, Disneyland, downtown Chicago and many other fun places.  While I enjoyed those trips, it was her taking me to the park that I always remember best and most fondly.  I don’t know why something so simple could mean so much more to me… I think it was having her to myself, being close and her playing with me as if just another kid on the playground- not just my mom but my very best friend. That feeling of course carries through to an entire lifetime together.  -Angie Sartori

** My favorite memory with Judy was when she took me to see the Chicago Symphony Orchestra when I was ten years old. It was the first time that I had been on a train.   It was so exciting... going downtown, taking a train and drinking my first cappuccino (Who would have guessed that my first coffee would be with Judy!!!)  Spending the time with Judy meant a lot to me.  She has always treated me like her own child and not like her bratty little sister. –Lori Macpherson

** My favorite memories with Judy are all the fun times in Glencoe!- Mary Ann Caroline