I went hiking for your birthday. I heard your voice in the wind.

5 years later and it still isnt easy. I miss your laughter so much. Our talks. The time we spent together. Your voice. Your singing. Your hair. Your smile. Your curiosity. Your compassion. I miss you Rissa. I'll see you in the spring.

Cerissa every year does not seem to make it much easier with the loss of you. It has already been 5 years and my heart still aches for my best friend who would meow with me, came to my graduation, and helped me pick out flowers for my wedding. I still have a few old high school photos of us on my Instagram and they make me happy and sad at the same time when I see them. I light a candle here and I always light one at my home for you every year. I miss you so much Cerissa.

Damn I don’t even know how to start. I just found out this afternoon you had died.. I can’t tell you how broken I fell all the memories came flooding back and haven’t been able to stop the water works. I knew you used to cut but you stopped and I was genuinely proud of how strong you were. I never thought this would be how it ended for you. I want to be mad at you but I know all the pain you went through back then. When I last talk to you seemed better. I felt guilty if I’m being honest because I was depressed myself and didn’t want you to see it when you were doing so well so I let you be.

I remember when you first came to Almeria you were the prettiest girl I had ever seen. After a while of getting to know you I handed you a note in class. The teacher decided to take it and read it aloud to ever and I ran out of the class after. You scolded the teacher when I left and got the note back. You were genuinely bad ass lol. I wasn’t openly bisexual but you made me feel comfortable being who I am. I remember when we scared the normies for holding hands during the school pictures lol. Sadly my family didn’t always feel as accepting and threw the pretty song and card you made me for Valentine’s Day away. It broke me when you moved because of foster care.

I want to thank you for all the beautiful memories and helping me be okay with myself. You had such a beautiful soul and helped everyone around. I’d like to think you came to the person who told me you passed because you knew I was in a dark place too right now. I hope heaven is treating you well. Rest in paradise Charlie

My lil pea
I was so emotional yesterday
It's funny how fucking pissed I was that u were not here
But at the same time missing your goofy ass
As the years go by it doesn't get easier it just gets tolerable I guess
But on your birthday Brandy got me a present a turtle an the funny thing is he was drawn to me he kept following my finger on the tank it was sooo cute an I hold the pellets an he eats them from my hand...
I fucking miss you so everyday life is so empty without u
Why did u have to go
I still can't stop crying
Love u momma Bear

Happy Birthday Cerissa still missing you everyday

The world is still feeling the void you left behind. Missing you always, happy birthday, Rissa.

Cerissa I do think about you everyday even now recently had a baby girl and at one point thought of naming her after you but our names were always a little too similar sounding I think haha. But every time I see her looking at what seems like nothing and she smiles and laughs I feel like you came by to visit and she saw you.

I still think about you everyday. I still listen to our youtube playlist to feel that rememberance. I miss you alot. Love you.

You visited my dreams recently. We were sitting in your room painting and listening to nirvana. I wish i would have used my time with you better. I’ll regret the years we didn’t spend together forever. Thank you for changing my life

Another year fades away but your light glows even stronger. Happy birthday Rissa . Miss ya lots.

https://youtu.be/mglkv_g-Mxo

You may not be here but your love and admiration still burns bright in so many others. Happy Birthday Cerissa , rest easy..

You visited a dream last night, thank you for a true blessing…

Happy New years Rissa <3

..

Happy late birthday Cer I'm sorry I missed it.. Wont happen again. - honduras

Happy Birthday Friend! This world misses your light. Try not to bother Jesus too much he is a busy man... I will continue looking up searching for you.

There's not a day where I dont think about you. Everyday I wake up and I think this is all just a dream and I'll hear your voice on the phone or I'll see a text from you. I wish we still had time to air out our thoughts, I wish you would have told me what was on your mind. Maybe our story would have been different.

歩き疲れた 夜にたたずむ
流れる涙を記憶に重ねて
出会いの数だけ 別れはあるけど
限りない時が続くと信じてた

Maybe in another world our paths will cross and we will share stories under the stars until the last one fades and the first ray of light shines on our faces just like we used to.

sending you a little night light

Cerissa helped mold me into the man I am today. She taught me how to love and how to live and just to simply stop overthinking everything. The world wasn’t ready for the light Cerissa brought to it.

I miss you like crazy. Everyday. I remember our last conversation as if it was happening right now. I will never forget your laugh and how it paralyzed me by how loud it was. I miss hearing it.

I know your giving God a run for his money since you been up there. Just save me a spot will ya?

I met Cerissa In 3rd grade. I had no friends, and insisted that i wanted none. When she came to my school she sat next to me and asked if i wanted to be friends with her. I said no. over the next 3 days she asked again until i said yes. She was my best friend after that. I was going through a dark time in my life. and would be for the next 5 years. I can honestly say I'd be a very different person today if not for her. I've missed her ever since i moved away in 2011 and had always tried to get into contact with her. I never could. Everytime I was so alone or hurt, the memory of her would pop into my head and I'd feel much better. I've always wanted to thank her for saving me. . I tried so many times over the years and now i cant...

thank you Cerissa.

Nothing is real

I can't get over how gorgeous you were ,inside and out . A lot of people are quick to judge based on my looks/demeanor but you saw past that. You taught me so much in a very short amount of time .I'm glad we got to see Groovesession in Laguna together. And I hope you could feel our love as we played our song for you on Saturday night. Namaste Cerissa

Cerissa
I never thought 4 one second i would be at a house party waiting to hear your friends playing an dedicating a song to u cuz ur not here
I luv u my lil pea an my heart is empty without u

Cerissa was my closest friend Ive ever had. I always felt like she was the only one who could understand me and took care of me when I need her most. I wish we could have been in contact this past year. I know she is in heaven now probably meowed the whole way just like we did together. Cerissa, you know me, I don't cry for almost anything, but when I saw this and found out you were gone and I wont ever have the chance to see you again, I cried as hard as I ever have before and ran out of air to cry for you and our friendship. I will miss you so dearly.

....