...you know C I often wish I was by your side just one more time just to hug u ...you have missed so much of life ...I wish you were here to share all these things with you ...I am still so lonely there is still something missing everywhere I go an with everything I do it's like a fucking void stamped across my forehead forever I'm trying soon hard to break the suicide curse in our family but it runs thick in our blood....it's so hard to keep going without you..all I keep thinking of is dallas an Josh even though they still want nothing to do with me if I keep doing the right things in life keep taking care of my health an never giving up on them that one day they are going to need me or want to talk to me that when that time comes I will be ready an strong I see everything that u are missing in life an it makes me want to be present but it hurts so bad
Well my Lil pea I wish you would come to me in my dreams 
I love you cerissa
An hate that you are not here with me even more
Love mom

My girl this is the 2nd birthday without u an I fucking miss everything about u your beautiful smile your dorky self even your smell I still can't accept your not coming back even though I have your ashes around my neck an in my I still can't stop crying it seems missing u is getting worse as time goes by I wish I could be with u I'm so lost an empty inside I feel nothing I feel like I'm just here like a rock on the floor I hate that u left me but I'm also so very sad that u were hurting so bad that u had to end it all well I love an miss u so much HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LIL PEA

My lil pea it's been a lil over a year you have been gone an I still can't believe I'm never going to be able to talk or hug u again.i don't know how to go on without u my heart hurts so bad an I'm sad all the time I'm so tired of smiling like I'm ok but inside I just want to scream an cry an find a hole to disappear in we had so many plans an so many dreams I wish u would have talked to me I love u so much baby girl I just wanna be with u so bad my life is empty without u my life is meaningless I miss all the times we sang in the car an teaching u how to cook an hearing your words of wisdom like u were the parent my ❤️ hurts so bad an I'm so tired of being a fake ass person I wish u would come to me in my dreams I'd love to see u again. Forever in my ❤️
Loveyou mom