ForeverMissed
Large image
This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Chad Mercer, 36 years old, born on September 16, 1975, and passed away on July 17, 2012. We will remember him forever.
July 17, 2015
July 17, 2015
Well it's been three years now. So here is what you missed. Evan has grown taller than Morgan. And he is a natural athlete yet we can't figure out what sport to put him in. Madison is an artist and loves to draw and create anything she sees on YouTube. Morgan graduated from high school and is college bound at msu in Bozeman Montana. She's going into the medical field of some sort. Holly got a job last year and is climbing the ladder and doing very well. Everyone loves her there. I told her in five years she will be running the company, she laughs and said no way. As for me, I'm still log scaling and still trying to find that perfect job with no luck yet.
I'm really missing you and I wish I would have made amends with you when you were still alive. It tortures me everyday wondering if you ever knew that I was actually very proud of you. I wish I had just one more day to tell you everything I needed to tell you. I love you brother and I'm sorry the way I treated you I hope when we see eachother in heaven you will be able to forgive me. Forever missed brother
October 3, 2012
October 3, 2012
Chad you are so ever on my mind. My hand presses against your picture so many times throughout the day; sometimes in sadness, sometimes in gratitude; sometimes in fear; sometimes in loneliness-always in love. I love you Chad Mitchell Mercer. I miss you.
September 25, 2012
September 25, 2012
Chad, week to week is still the same; I go through each day with you on my mind; ever wishing ever hoping that you were here. I don't think there can be an ending to the desire to share life with you. I don't think these things can be healed. Thank you for loving me as well as you did. Thank you, I am so grateful to have known that you were my friend.
September 18, 2012
September 18, 2012
Mercer, I would give anything to bring you back to me and Ayden. I stood in your spot the other evening and watched the sunset as you would sometimes do; I felt your hand against the nape of my neck. Missing you just doesn't seem to end...
September 16, 2012
September 16, 2012
Happy Birthday, Chad. If there be a reward system in heaven for a job well done on Earth, may you stand tall among the mightiest of Arch Angels and be received into their fold, their kind. Say a blessing to your God for allowing Ayden and me to know you. To have loved and been allowed to show our appreciation each and every day.
September 12, 2012
September 12, 2012
Chad, a friend asked me today what I had liked most about you. I told her it was your gentle, steadfast hands. Hands of someone that you could put your entire life into and know that it would be well tended. Eight weeks I'm counting from your passing. This...life...without you doesn't seem real. Seems so empty, without you. I miss you terribly.
September 4, 2012
September 4, 2012
Week seven. Light glimmered thru the shadows a bit. My precious Chad. I KNOW that you are with me. I KNOW that you are with Ayden. I KNOW that you didn't want to leave us and we gotta make the best of this...but I'd sure like to tug on your goattee one more time and brush my finger against your brow.
August 28, 2012
August 28, 2012
Chad, my relationship with you completed everything that I needed from any other human being. You were my friend, my partner, my competitor, my champion, and my inspiration. Six weeks, six very, very long weeks without you. I cannot begin to tell you how grateful that I am to have experienced your kindness, your companionship, your love. I know that when I cry, you cry as well. We miss us.
August 21, 2012
August 21, 2012
Five weeks. I jinxed myself last week. Today I missed you whole whole bad. I miss the way that your blue eyes sparkled. I missed how safe I always felt with you.I miss pinching you when you say something that I don't like. I miss being in your space...intentionally. I miss cleaning out the sink after you shaved because you never could seem to do it yourself. :)
August 14, 2012
August 14, 2012
Four weeks. Today was the first Tuesday that I woke up without expecting you home. Without reliving the homicide detectives at the door and everything else that came after that. Four weeks hasn't changed how much I love you, Chad Mercer. It hasn't stopped me from missing you. It hasn't stopped me from crying for you. I still like you more than OTHER people. :) Blessed be, my love.
August 5, 2012
August 5, 2012
Chad Mercer was my friend. I knew I could tell Chad absolutely anything without reprisal or condemnation, or judgment. He loved to be teased, and returned in kind very proficiently. I appreciated Chad Mercer. I respected Chad Mercer. I love Chad Mercer. May the memories and the appreciation of your friendship with Chad be with you all the rest of your days.

Leave a Tribute

Light a Candle
Lay a Flower
Leave a Note
 
Recent Tributes
July 17, 2015
July 17, 2015
Well it's been three years now. So here is what you missed. Evan has grown taller than Morgan. And he is a natural athlete yet we can't figure out what sport to put him in. Madison is an artist and loves to draw and create anything she sees on YouTube. Morgan graduated from high school and is college bound at msu in Bozeman Montana. She's going into the medical field of some sort. Holly got a job last year and is climbing the ladder and doing very well. Everyone loves her there. I told her in five years she will be running the company, she laughs and said no way. As for me, I'm still log scaling and still trying to find that perfect job with no luck yet.
I'm really missing you and I wish I would have made amends with you when you were still alive. It tortures me everyday wondering if you ever knew that I was actually very proud of you. I wish I had just one more day to tell you everything I needed to tell you. I love you brother and I'm sorry the way I treated you I hope when we see eachother in heaven you will be able to forgive me. Forever missed brother
October 3, 2012
October 3, 2012
Chad you are so ever on my mind. My hand presses against your picture so many times throughout the day; sometimes in sadness, sometimes in gratitude; sometimes in fear; sometimes in loneliness-always in love. I love you Chad Mitchell Mercer. I miss you.
September 25, 2012
September 25, 2012
Chad, week to week is still the same; I go through each day with you on my mind; ever wishing ever hoping that you were here. I don't think there can be an ending to the desire to share life with you. I don't think these things can be healed. Thank you for loving me as well as you did. Thank you, I am so grateful to have known that you were my friend.
Recent stories

Chad

June 24, 2022
Hi, Chad
This is Nicole and Naomi. As we were growing up, Mom told us so much about you. When she heard that you had died she didn't want to believe it. It tore her to pieces. Mom tried so hard to move on after you left but she couldn't. You would be so proud how we grew up. We are honor students and we are 17 yrs old now. Naomi and I will be graduating High School in June 2023. I, Nicole have been studying French, and Naomi has been studying Medical Patient Care, and Sign Language. Nicole played the Clarinet and me Naomi played the Hobo. We are taller than Mom. Mom has been trying to get us to enjoy life and to have fun but we are totally into our books. She lied about our death to protect us, to be quite honest we really don't blame her. All we have is pictures of us with a bear on your bed, and Mom told us when she use to come home from school our diapers were off and we would go in the fridge and pull out the butter and put it all over the floor and we would slip and slide and you and mom would clean up butter and throw us in the tub. Well here is a picture of what we look like now. Love Nicole and Naomi Singer.

Soul Mate

November 25, 2012

Hi, Shanon. I sit here and read your thoughts as you have penned them, and it takes me back to when Chad was a child. One bright, sunny day I had a friend come to my home to visit me. She was so thrilled to show me her new baby daughter. Her baby was so tiny, with a little nose that sort of turned up on the end, and a precious smile that immediately grabbed your heart. Chad was in the house that day. He watched and listened to all the "Ooo's and ahhh's", and then I looked at him and asked if he would like to hold the baby. He shyly shrugged but then held out his arms as I placed the little one next to his heart. And I will never forget the look in his eyes and on his face. I knew in that moment exactly how he would look when one day he would meet the woman he wanted to share his life with. And I knew how he would look when he sat and held his own daughter. That look is on his face in the pictures Lanae has given to me...the pictures of him and Ayden in the hospital. It was the look of pure love shining through his eyes, gazing into the eyes of the one who had captured his heart. Had he expressed how he felt he would have said that look was familiar to him..it was the way he looked at you, Shannon. It was the look of love for his soul mate.

Thank you for loving my son the way you do. And for sharing your life with him on these pages. I have been enriched and blessed by your kindness.

Beauty

October 3, 2012

I spent most of yesterday in tears. They sometimes start in the morning and drift like a slow moving stream throughout the day. Yesterday was like that. Many times I can cry myself thru writing this timeline, many times I wait until its over to cry. It's sometimes very hard to connect with other people. And I don't mean the people that are part of the everyday circuit-raising your coffee cup to the neighbor, a wave to the postman, a thank you to the checker at the grocery store. No, the hard ones to connect to are the people that love you. That want you to be well-mentally, physically, emotionally. Two of my loving friends this week, told me I look like shit. Ha They were very nice about it; but the jest was the same. This this sorrow/anger/madness is taking it's toll. The computer at the DMV didn't recogize me. I had to actually have manager approval because there was more than a 70% variance in my facial features. yeah. I can see it; I don't recognize myself anymore either. I liked the me I saw in Chad's eyes. That was the one that I used to measure my appeal, my beauty. The lady in the mirror now just always looks sad, even with a smile on her face. The only time I know myself is when I'm holding Ayden in front of the mirror. That woman I recognize. Momma. But by myself, it's another story. When we find a mate that we love, we invest a part of our personality, dreams, and future into that fusion. The part of me that was vested has died as well. I've started listening against to the Silva Life System, unfortunately I'm stumbling thru the first chapter in ways I never have before. It asks each person to identify the core emotions/triggers that create stress or failure. To learn to recognize them. Then to infuse then with a new more positive identity. I positively want those little bastards to rot/die in jail. That is an affirmative. But as for putting the storybook finish on the life Chad and I were creating...well, that's gone now. I have to find another storyline to believe in, huh? How to become the champion that Ayden needs so that she can thrive. In that, failure is not an option. She's toddling along beside me these days needing me to only hold one hand. She is a brave, beautiful little girl. I am so very proud of and for her. She wakes every day with a smile. Just incredible.

My tears began yesterday when my friend offered to watch Ayden so I could go get my hair cut. And yeah, color these offensive grey hairs that keep peeking thru. haha It just hit me. She wasn't talking about the trim the split ends kind of thing. She was talking about beauty. Appearance. Attractiveness. And I noted that a vital part of my experience with Chad had been the unnecessary 'worry' of socialital nuances. I was beautiful. Every day. Even if I needed to shave my legs. Ha There was never a situation of letting myself go, I radiated with love. I knew what love was, I didn't need products, surgery, or pomp to know that Chad loved and accepted me. 

Sigh. I have to be honest and say that the last time I really cared what I looked like was for Chad's funeral. I represented well. Since then...I think I've put on make up once in the past eleven weeks... What a wonderful byproduct of love that real beauty is. I have been blessed to know what that was.

Invite others to Chad's website:

Invite by email

Post to your timeline