For Chadrenne- February 3, 2018
It is not my intent to preach, but I feel a bit of background is important. I have a strong Christian Faith but I am not religious. I do not follow the man-made rules of religion that divide so many people. Chadrenne always respected that. In my faith, God is love, so, by extension, Chadrenne is the most Godly person I know. She is the epitome of love. I have never met anyone else like her. To be in Chadrenne’s presence is to feel her warmth and compassion and infinite love for you. She doesn’t even have to say anything: just a look and a smile is all it takes. Her love envelopes like a security blanket. Chadrenne is love personified! Her love was not reserved just for humans, though. She loved nature and felt most at peace when walking outdoors or sharing pears from her “orchard.” I read somewhere that dogs are the best judge of character. To say our dogs, Riley and Penny adored Chadrenne is an understatement. Chad had such a way with them. They loved the undivided attention she gave them and they responded to the way she talked to them while rubbing their ears. (“Who loves their ears rubbed? Who’s my good boy? Who’s my sweet girl?”) Chad’s love extended to house cats, feral cats, all stray cats and, of course, horses.
In my faith, God sent Jesus to be the ultimate role model. We all know Chadrenne is a spiritual person, but she was more Christ-like than she may have realized. Jesus went out of his way to show compassion and love to all, especially the outcasts. Ditto for Chadrenne! When I told Chadrenne that my brother was gay, she not only accepted the fact, but she embraced it. Chadrenne became very close to my brother Darrin and his husband Steve. She would visit them whenever she came to Virginia (granted they have 2 dogs so that may have been the real reason.) Chad invited them to lunch at the Main Cup when they were passing through to John’s Hopkins once. Again, she goes out of her way to love people. When Piper and Jaike got married 7 years ago, we did not hire a wedding planner- it was an outdoor country wedding so how hard could it be? On the day of the wedding, the details were not coming together quickly enough so Chadrenne jumped in and organized place settings, center pieces, you name it. That is typical, right? She saw an opportunity to help and did so with grace.
Were you all aware of how much Chadrenne loved books??? In 1992 we drove all 4 kids cross country in a van. We told 12 year old Chadrenne to pack light. She had Uni (a very large stuffed unicorn), a medium duffle for clothes and a large one for books. We told her she had to leave some stuff behind. I am pretty sure she took out her shoes and hiking boots, but parted with very few books. If I recall, she toted 30 books cross country and read them all!! She still managed to hike part of the Grand Canyon in sandals.
Chadrenne cannot sing or dance- she was the first to admit it. We attended her HS theater performance as Head of the Flying Monkeys in the Whiz. It was the only non-singing part. There was a sort-of dance but the monkeys huddled around her to hide her missteps. Her acting, however, was amazing!! Even though Chadrenne could not sing, she loved all kinds of music. Because of her, I have copies of Enya, Evanescence, Eddie From Ohio and Doctor Demento. You have not lived until your kids sing “Fish heads, fish heads, rolly, polly fish heads. Fish heads, fish heads, eat them up, yum.” Off key, course! Our last time with Chadrenne was last summer. She organized a jam session so we could play music with her friends. She always appreciated and loved her dad’s musical talent and really wanted to show him off. It was at this jam that she coined the term “step-friend” when introducing me to her friends. I was never a step-mom but always her friend.
Many years ago on one of Chad’s visits, she brought her modeling portfolio. She shared it with my mom first. Chad was barely wearing an assortment of one piece and bikini bathing suits. My mom said she wanted to see the look on Ray’s face when she showed him. Chadrenne had a beautiful figure so she had the right to flaunt it. Of course there was the phase where Chadrenne shaved her hair off on her honeymoon, became a raw vegan and lost lots of weight. Ray and I refer to that period as her “Ethiopian Poster Child” phase. By the time of Piper’s wedding (post Jason), she had her curvy figure back. I commented” “Nice butt and boobs, Chadrenne.” She immediately pointed to her chest and said; “these aren’t button boobs they are more like melons!” Chadrenne loved humor most of all. And even though she and I shared and laughed at all those classic, yet terrible, Helen Keller jokes, I would like to end with a quote from Helen Keller.
“What we have once enjoyed, we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes part of us.” It is safe to say that Chadrenne will be part of us forever.
