I died last Friday.  It was supposed to be a routine procedure that would take only an hour, but the trouble started almost the moment it began. The pain, that I should have never felt, set in not long after,  and it was agonizing.  The entire experience lasted over three hours.  I, being a trained counselor, set about trying to do deep breathing and use other techniques to distract myself.  I tried to get the doctor or the nurse's attention and let them know that something was very, very wrong, but I couldn't move or speak.  I was trapped, and I started to panic.  After only a moment or two of terror, I suddenly felt a warm sense of peace and well-being come over me.  And in that moment you were everywhere!!  I could smell you, hear your voice telling me not to be afraid, and feel your touch.  It was the most amazing experience of my life this far. I felt you was swirling around me, reassuring me.  I could see my mom there too, in the distance,  and she was smiling watching you comfort me as only you can. It was like she knew you were the best man for the job and she stepped back and watched you do your magic. I was entranced, and so at peace.  I remember thinking that I must have died, because I was suddenly in the presence of everyone I loved who have gone on ahead.  It was a glorious feeling, and immediately I wanted to stay. But you began to urge me back, and tell me that I had to go.  I clung to you, but I was no match for your strength.  I tumbled back into the room with the pain, and suddenly realized that the whole medical staff was crowded into the room where I lay trying to figure out how to save me.  I was struggling to lie still and let them finish even through the pain, and finally managed to do so as they were looking more and more concerned.  I came completely back to myself as the doctor finished, and suddenly I was shaking and crying.  I will never know if my tears were because of the physical pain, or the emotional pain of being torn out of the comfort of your arms.  But I know now, that when my time comes, you will be there waiting.  That assurance will guide me through any pain which may lie ahead, because I know I'm headed back to you.  Thank you for stepping through the vale, or perhaps it was I who stepped through, and you were there for me like you always are.  Death is not the end, my love, and you continue to prove that to me time and again.   I can't wait until the time when I can finally cross over and be with you again forever... until then I will have to be content with this promise and smile to myself as I remember..   I love you, Anthony, always have, always will...  until then...

Had already saved the date...

Only the venue changed...

Found this when I signed in today.   I guess I never finished posting it then..
He and I had planned a trip to Port Aransas for the weekend we ended up having his funeral...