I met Charles a.k.a Fizzikal a.k.a Charlz online shortly before Christmas in 2012, through his music. All I had was his music but I wanted to connect with him beyond his music because I couldn’t tell why I was drawn to him, but I was certain it was something special, something different, so I posted a tweet searching for him. After a couple of hours the tweet got to him and he responded “over here sir”, that was the beginning of my journey with Charles.
I was not in the country at the time but we soon became so close, I’d send him beats on BBM, email, and I think WhatsApp for him to write to, pending when we met; I was working on a project. The relationship at first was between two creatives, but soon enough he realized it could be more because he started calling me “big bro” or “big Ro”. One day he told me his age and I realized why he was calling me big bro, the age difference between us was vast, but I never for once felt that way because his thoughts were stellar, he talked with grace and reasoned so brilliantly that it was hard to focus on anything but his excellence and gift of using the right words to say exactly what he wanted, Charles was special.
Charles was a helpless and a hopeless romantic, he couldn’t hide it even if he tried, at least I knew that very well about him, because the moment he starts to like a girl I wake up to endless chats and questions on what to do, he said he hated breakups and wouldn’t know how to handle one thereon. YWAP was more like life to Charles, and music was where he buried every pain, every struggle, and each unsaid feeling, he was the true embodiment of true art, I miss Charles.
He was also very close to the girl I was dating at the time, and when we broke up after 6 years Charles was also broken because he was heavily invested in us. When she and I were going through it Charles would talk to her on my behalf and apologize as though I sent him, and he would do same to me on her behalf, that was how important love, relationship, and marriage was to Charles, then one Sunday after service Charles called me, he’s seen a girl he liked, wahala
Of all the girls he told me about, this one stood out, because she sang rainbows and sunshine and also flair with words just like him, he was so into her and started writing differently, she had him. (I think I’ll reserve this to myself alone, I need to also hold something beautiful about Charles for me alone).
When he told me he was a warrior I did not believe him, because he was high off of life, drunk off of dreams, and completely SOULd out for Christ, I hated to know he was going through it, that was when I started loving him more, that was when I started deeply understanding his music, his lyrics came alive and I’d pause to think when he said certain things on his songs, Charles almost always sent his music to me first for me to criticize before releasing them, sometimes he sent me voicenotes of his rehearsals, I was always brutal at criticizing him, so he kept them coming, he was never afraid to try something fresh or change a word to rhyme his bounce, we shared another thing in common; Lecrae Moore.
I could go on and on and on about how Charles inspired my faith, pushed my boundaries, and how much he has influenced by respect for time and health, but this space would not be enough.
Is my heart broken? Yes! Because he became the brother I never had, even after I got married and grew distant he kept reaching out and catching up and telling me about his projects and dreams, Presh Gaza was a big inspiration to him, he thought she was so strong and special, I believed him.
Only God has the power to heal the hearts that are broken by his death, but we are all beautifully broken because even though he is gone, his legacy lives on.
I love you brother, friend, and my hommie!
“Remember me when I'm gone, let my voice echo until the end of time, let my trail blaze, let it be a great flame that'll burn, let my memory illuminate your heart.” - (Charlz Dogo - Remember Me feat. Joy Adejo)
