Hello everyone.  I am Femi Awotesu and I am honoured that Dupe, Patricia, has asked me to deliver the Eulogy to her husband, and father to Myles and Ryanna.

One of my earliest, cherished memories, of Charles is of a frightfully cold but bright, wintry day in January 1997 when Charles drove my wife and I and our new born son home from hospital.  I remember, as a new father, feeling great pride but also some mild trepidation at the task on which I was embarking.  My sense of vulnerability was heightened because I was still getting myself financially settled in the UK and the economy was recovering from recession. 

My abiding memory of that journey from St. Mary’s, Paddington, was of the most thoughtful, caring way in which Charles got us home – I literally felt that we were all enveloped in his expansive emotional embrace.  That experience of Charles’s warmth and consideration was part of a mosaic of sentiment surrounding the birth of my son that evoked for me, powerfully, God’s reassuring presence in that challenging time and led me to name our son Oluwadurotimi, literally, Yòrùbá for “God stands with me”.   What was remarkable was that I had met Charles barely two years previously because Dupe and my son’s Mum, Made, have been childhood friends since their days at Holy Child College, Lagos.

A recurring theme through all the tributes that have been posted online as well as during the tribute ceremony a fortnight ago was on Charles’s generosity of spirit. 

Othame recalled how Charles supported his family in their grief years ago, describing him as a wise and loyal friend.  Anietie said they have been friends since their childhood, but he was more like a brother to her.

 Faith described him as her mentor, who supported her through so many challenges.  She characterised Charles as selfless, a man after God's heart with a passion for family.

Charles’s passion for family radiated from his devotion to his own family.  I remember vividly how, following Ryanna’s birth, he spoke in such glowing terms about how Dupe had carried that pregnancy.  He was full of praise for her, for her womanhood and motherhood to his children.  Over the years, as we celebrated one another’s children’s birthdays and other milestones, his news about Myles’s progress, both on and off the rugby pitch while he was at St. Albans and beyond, came from a deep reservoir of fatherly pride.

When Charles rang me on 11th June last year to announce that Ryanna had got a First from King’s, his huge elation was palpable and I rejoiced with him.  He mentioned how he would sometimes go into Ryanna’s room for no apparent reason . . . just to see her, to drink in his joy of her.  Yes, Charles loved his family deeply.  We give God thanks that, in his fifty-six years, with Dupe by his side, they have raised Myles and Ryanna to be the exemplary young man and woman that they are today.

Charles loved deeply.  He cared deeply.

Eniola described him as a beautiful soul.

Joseph told of his kindness and words of encouragement.

Tony spoke about how Charles was his best man, not only at his wedding but in myriad other ways since their days together in Jos.

Charles, Toyin and Temi, Linda and Elizabeth recalled his friendship, as have friends from Corona School, Apapa, from Kings College, School of Arts and Sciences, University of Jos, friends from Uyo, Lagos, Accra, Southern Africa, from Wales, from the length and breadth  of all the places where he laid his footprint.

Eniola and Antonia and Mike recalled their long conversations, Maurice commenting also that there was never a dull moment in Charles’s company.

I had established a pattern with Charles many years ago of speaking with him only at weekends or on holidays, as our conversations were always marathon events, ranging from discussions of public policy, politics and current affairs, business and investment, technology, spiritual matters and the foibles of man – conversations across a broad spectrum, even to the finer elements of jazz fusion.  Jonathan Butler was a particularly favourite vocalist.

Uwem-Obon described Charles as versatile, creative, an astute visionary, with a cerebral, engaging mind. How true.  Charles loved a good debate and anyone entering into a verbal and intellectual jousting with him had better be on top of their brief because Charles was superlative in marshalling facts in support of his argument.  He was articulate, well-read and of broad mind.

Nnamdi recalled their days at King’s College, as did Sina, describing Charles as a gentleman, sharp, witty, a scholar.

Those debates, however, would inevitably be laced with plenty of humour.  Charles could go from a gentle chuckle to a body-shaking, face-reshaping, rumble of laughter that would set me off, even over the phone.  His jolly nature and camaraderie were, oh, so infectious, as Vincent and George also recall.

Charles could also be very serious, very contemplative, and I would assert that he had become ever more so in recent years.  His insights in our conversations had acquired an even greater depth.

Daniel spoke about what a refining influence he was in his life.

Ojeaga described him as larger than life, how they laughed and cried, prayed and played together.  Many years ago, Charles had nicknamed me Otunba and, to me, he was Obong.  I have not called him Charles or Ete or Etekamba in years; to me, he was Obong.

Having said all this, ladies and gentlemen, I don’t want to paint a picture of Charles as having been purely virtuous.  All of us, God’s creation, have our flaws.

I think Shakespeare put it best when he wrote

“the web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and ill, together.  Our virtues would be proud  if our faults whipped them not, and our crimes would despair if they were not cherished by our virtues”.
Charles Etekamba, Obong, you have run your race marvellously.  Whatever remained unfinished on your agenda, particularly concerning Patricia, Myles and Ryanna, we pray that God Almighty will perfect it in the way only He can.

The many tributes about Charles attest to his noble character, to a gentleman, loved and admired by all who knew him.  Myles and Ryanna, with their Mum, Patricia, will tell his story to their children yet to be born.  We, who join them in mourning his loss and celebrating his life, will add our own stories, as we remain close to his family in our allegiance to Charles’s memory.

In the words of the English poet, John Donne,

“Here in this world He bids us come, there in the next He shall bid us welcome.”

Charles, Etekamba, husband, father, brother, friend, soul mate, May you rest in the eternal embrace of your father in Heaven. Amen.

Etekamba,

Though it had been many years since I saw you (in the Railway Compound), I recall the jovial conversation we had when I found out Francis is your cousin, & we reconnected. It seemed like time had not passed.

May your gentle soul rest peacefully.

Kobina