ForeverMissed
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Missing my baby

April 5, 2015

I sit here at the hospital in Trinity with Mrs. Langston. She would of been the instructor that would of taught my baby nursing but instead she taught me. I know Cheyenne would of made a wonderful nurse, he cared about people. Tommorrow I fly for the first time to Alaska, I sure hope my baby is flying with me. How I miss and love him.

Moma

For Mother's Day 2014

April 26, 2014

I am wearing a pair of shoes. They are ugly shoes. Uncomfortable shoes. I hate my shoes. Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair. Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step. Yet, I continue to wear them. I get funny looks wearing these shoes. They are looks of sympathy. I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs. They never talk about my shoes. To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable. To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them. But, once you put them on, you can never take them off. I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes. There are many pairs in this world. Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them. Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much. Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt. No woman deserves to wear these shoes. Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman. These shoes have given me the strength to face anything. They have made me who I am. I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child

Graduation

December 9, 2012

Congratulations,
We are so proud of you. I've thought about you all year. We knew you could do it. I now it has been very hard but God knew the goal behind it all - Cheyenne. Cheyenne would be so proud of you. You know when Lyle decided to make an album of singing - remember Mike was behind it and it worked. It was all for Mike as in your nursing. I'm so proud of you. You know, I'm so sorry that we can't make it to your graduation but my heart will will be right there  - remember that it will be bittersweet but remember who will be watching. Whitley is graduating college next weekend. I've cried more over that than I have in awhile. I'm so proud of her but Mike won't be here to see what a beautiful daughter he has but I know he's watching. Cheyenne is watching you too. Linda, life goes on but hang in there. You should be so proud of your accomplishment. Now, you can help others - relax and rest awhile. We love you very much Lyle& Susie
This means a lot to me, they have supported us during our loss and know what we have and still are going through. I love them and so did Cheyenne.   
 
 

Cheyenne's 26th Birthday

October 11, 2012

Cheyenne

I feel like I' ve just existed
And now it's been almost two years
I don't know how I' ve lived and breathed Without you being here.
I know you lived your lifetime. As short as that seems to me,
But the pain in my heart is still so great, Yet I know your spirit is free.
At times I think I hear you The thoughts come to my mind.
I struggle for the sound of your voice, But your voice I cannot find.
Yet you come to me in many ways. So I know you did not die,
You want to tell me that you' re close, and to please stop asking Why.
Our lives on earth seem all too brief,
Or brief as it seems to me.
But where you are is forever, GOD calls that Eternity !
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY"  

 

June 25, 2012
Gary Stewart 03 Whiskey Trip

Cheyenne,

I finally found the Gary Stewart CD that you liked. Love you, momma

An Angel's Touch.....

June 17, 2012
03 The Grand Tour

A feather fell to earth today
And touched my
Aching heart;
Its beauty lifted up my soul
I felt its words impart:

"The things beyond you
cannot see,
Through faith, you know
are there.
The promise made is
always kept:
To shelter you with care.

Remember when the
trumpet sounds
And calls a loved one home,
A feather falls to let
you know
You'll never be alone".

Chey's knee surgery

November 24, 2011

When Cheyenne had knee surgery it was a long and hard surgery.  He was under almost seven hours total with recovery. His doctor was great and the trainer was in observing the surgery.  After each procedure was complete she would come out and let me know how Chey was doing.  I remember laughing because she said when they gave him the anesthesia he fought it and almost broke the wrist restraints. I remember his coaches being at the hospital his girlfriend at the time, football players, his Aunt Brenda and myself.  When the nurse came out of his room she looked at the group waiting to see him and she said he only wants to see the person he calls mom.  I stepped up and said that would be me. We had a long night but we made it. Love you baby, mom

Chey, Randall and Grandma

November 24, 2011

Randall and I re-newed our wedding vows and I am glad we did. We got excellent pictures of mom and of all of us. The picture of my angel with his grandma and Randall. We had already had the ceremony and we were getting ready to eat. Grandma was looking sharp. The one thing I can say is that Cheyenne loved his grandma and she loved him. He would do anything for her and I know that is why she went on as soon as she did once he was gone. Mom please take care of my baby until I can join all of you and take my roll back over. Love them both very much.

Cheyenne's phone calls

October 17, 2011

When Cheyenne moved to Huntsville he went to work for TDC and was assigned to the Goree Unit, where I worked. He was assigned to second shift and usually got home around 10:30.  Sometime around midnight or later he would call me and ask me what I was doing. I would laugh and tell him well sleeping a little. He would ask me a question, tell me how his night went. I never minded his phone calls, and I miss them very much. Cheyenne, what I wouldn't give to have one of those conversations with you again. I love you very much, momma.

First Birthday Without Cheyenne

October 11, 2011

Cheyenne,

Today would of been Cheyenne's 25th Birthday. Wow, I can't believe he is not with us anymore. I bought him a birthday cake and balloons to take to the cemetery. Love you bunches baby, momma.

Cheyenne's Pre-K Graduation

October 11, 2011

We were in a huge hurry to get out of graduation. We were in a T-Ball championship game. I remember Cheyenne changing into his uniform in the truck on the way to the baseball field.

Cheyenne's 13th birthday party.

October 11, 2011

Cheyenne and John Barton shared their 13th birthday party.  They had a dance at the Y in Groveton. Kyle was the DJ and Brenda and Wayne Norsworthy helped me chaperon the dance. The kids had a great time. We laughed at them dancing, their feet never moved. They had a great time and we enjoyed it. Thanks for the memories, love you bunches. Mom

Christmas Pictures

October 3, 2011

I had wanted to have family pictures made a couple years ago.  The only way I could get everyone to agree was to have them made with camo and guns.  I am really glad we went and had them made. 

Cheyenne's apartment

August 2, 2011

When Cheyenne moved to Huntsville after his graduation I really had ideas of visiting with him to make sure he was not by himself. For some reason I thought he might of been lonely. Boy was I mistaken Lance moved in with him and then his cousin John Shaw and his beautiful girlfriend was with him. They had a great time and from time to time I would drop by and have a social drink with them. For all the fun times you guys gave Cheyenne I appreciate it. I miss him every day also John

Galveston

August 2, 2011

Our last vacation was three summers ago.  Cheyenne rented us a fantastic condo at Galveston and it was awesome. We all had a great time, I love and miss you very much, moma.

My Best Friend

July 12, 2011

The morning Cheyenne was called home will forever be in my mind.  Every day, every hour,  every minute that goes by I miss him.  When I lost him, I lost my best friend.  We had a special relationship and anyone that knew him and I would understand.  I either talked to him on the phone or saw him every day. The loss in my life has been so severe I honestly do not know if I will ever recover enough to have a "normal" life.  I used to tell Cheyenne all the time, please be careful without you I have nothing. His response was always, I know momma and without you I have nothing.  I was using Cheyenne's phone after his accident and I was looking for my number in his phone. I couldn't find it listed so I went through his contacts and found it. He had me listed as His Blessing, if he only knew he was My Blessing. I love you Cheyenne, and I will forever miss you and I can not wait to see you. Love Momma.

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