Ejighiato Chi's Tribute To Her Sweetheart: Ufan Fo (2003)
“I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.”
It was my first year in secondary school [Aggrey Memorial College] that I was exposed to some of my favorite poems and passages, which I remember till this day. The person who performed the “magic”, our English teacher, Mr. John Abili; a good teacher, who sensitized us to the love of the subject. Among these unforgettable poems are “Sunset And Evening Stars” by Alfred Lord Tennyson and “Out Of The Night” by William Henley.
“Sunset and evening stars and one clear call for me and man.
And may there be no moaning of the bar when I put out to sea …”
This poem has been put to music and is available in hymn books. The author expressed a desire to “see his Pilot face to face” when “he had crossed the bar”.
For us it was neither sunset nor evening stars, rather a bright African Sunday morning, October 13th 2002, that “one clear call” came for you Chi, and you “put out to sea”. But it was your life’s sunset and evening stars.
After the round of hospitals and police stations, someone said “Prof is no more”. It struck me immediately that “He who gave has taken what was His”. There could have been intervention somewhere along the line, but since there was none; it was the Lord’s wish. The agent thus pales into insignificance; indeed irrelevance. I did not scream or roll on the floor; for I accepted my fate and that of my family. Destiny, must take its toll for as long as we find ourselves on earth. We must surely exit when destiny deems it fit.
Rather, I thank the Almighty God for our forty-three years of marriage and for unmitigated conviction that after he “put out to sea …” and “he had crossed the bar” he had “seen his Pilot face to face”.
The second poem goes like this:
Out of the night that covers me
Dark as the pit from pole to pole
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul
Under the bludgeoning of sound
My head is bloody, but unbowed
Yes “I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul”. I have been brave, brave for you Chi; and us and for our family.
I look back earlier in the year, Erinma (our No 3 Baby!) was delivered of a beautiful girl; Ogo our second grandchild. Shortly after, as proud parents, we witnessed our No 1 Baby Goomsu and our First Son Ikenna take their vows in marriage to their spouses: Oke and Mary. So Kikachukwu, our first granddaughter had the opportunity to be a flowergirl twice within a few months!
Barely two years had passed when you Chi, stood “ten feet tall” beside me as we buried my mother. There’s a lot to be grateful for to the Almighty.
Even in that photograph we took at the wedding, your lips were barely parted; yet your face was radiant, full of vitality, contentment and fulfillment. You looked handsome, even younger! And I thought to myself “look at the old man I married!” Was it a parting gift? Did you have any premonition of October 13th? Never mind, who knows?
In spite of everything, 2002 has not been too bad a year; it is a watershed. Even for you Chi. It is incredible how many lives you have touched: the number of visits and calls; both personal and telephone, from far and near, the deluge of messages, some from total strangers. They all acknowledge your kindness, humaneness, humility, approachability, tolerance, charity and rehabilitation of widows etc. The reaction has been overwhelming; it has been great and spontaneous. Thank you Lord for you know all situations better.
But as mortals, in unguarded moments our strength is tested and betrayed. I had finished speaking with Erinma on the phone when Kika, our “teacher’s delight” (for so does her headmistress describes her) came to chat with grandma. I asked her about her school, her lessons, her friends and if she had been finishing her food (our anorexic girl) and about herself. She in turn asked how I was and then the bombshell quite unexpectedly “how is grandpa?” A lump materialized in my throat, my eyes were misty and dripping and that scene – grandpa, beside his bed, “the bludgeoning of sound”, the gun, and he fell to the ground, with me there made to witness everything - played out once more.
Since October 13th, the scene has played before my eyes innumerable times. I call it “my companion”. I did not and could not answer Kika. I surrender it all at his Lotus Feet.
Shirley Bassey sand a song “The Trouble With Hello Is Good bye”. This goodbye will last a lifetime; my life that is.
Another songwriter wrote:
“the Rockies may crumble
Gibraltar may tumble
After all they’re only made of clay
But our love is here to stay”
Death so devastating, so shocking, so mysterious, so brutal, so audacious, so final, so powerful! So many things. Yet, it is powerless to stop the way I feel about you. Ufan, I love you; there will always be a place for you in my heart.
Unforgettable, adieu and fare thee well.