Eulogy By Michael Hart From memory I first met Chris at a party at my grandparents’ house in Brondesbury Park in north-west London. My parents had explained that Tessa and Chris were ‘an item’, well of course they wouldn’t have used such an expression, but Chris was soon a regular part of family gatherings and their birthday cards to us were signed from ‘Christessatopher’. From an email I received from Chris last year, I gather that the Davises and the Benzimras had known each other for some time. Chris remembered the two families meeting by chance in Knocke in Belgium in 1952, where he said they went swimming in the pool at La Reserve Hotel (displaying Chris’ amazing memory for detail), and later at Fishers Hotel in Pitlochry in 1954.
Chris was born in 1940, the youngest child of Peggy and Clifford, and had two older siblings, Michael and Daphne. Jack and Sue Green, very close friends of Tessa and Chris, who would certainly have been here today were it not for Covid advice and wanted to share their memories, told me that Chris attended Felsted School in Essex and was grateful for the rounded education he received. Chris continued his association with Felsted as an old boy and was very proud that during his lifetime the school had received not one but two royal visits….by the Queen and Duke of Edinburgh in 2014 for the school’s 450th anniversary and 50 years earlier by the Queen Mother.
Sue also described Chris as a very active member of the Alumni Society, a youth group at the Liberal Jewish Synagogue. Apparently he was very enthusiastic, always part of any activity, keen to volunteer for any jobs and very effective in what he did. By the time Chris met Tessa he had qualified as an accountant and I remember two other skills that he had already acquired: he was an accomplished cook which impressed us all, taking a great interest in the dishes he served, and also he was pretty handy at car mechanics. I wondered if I had remembered this correctly but other friends have also highlighted Chris’ long-standing interest in cars. On the ForeverMissed website, one of Chris’ clients remembered him talking about how in his spare time he had trained as a mechanic to service his Morris Minor.
The photo at the back of the booklet shows Chris and Tessa at their wedding in January 1967 at the Liberal Jewish Synagogue. Those of you who have looked at the ForeverMissed website will have seen what a happy family occasion it was. Other photos on the website reveal one of the central strands of Chris’ life, his devotion to his family, his love of Tessa, his sons and grandchildren, his parents and siblings. He was always willing to go the extra mile to support other family members during difficult periods. I remember, for example, the support he and Tessa gave to my grandmother in her later years, the enormous help given to Tessa’s sister, Carol, following the personal challenges she experienced, and the more recent contact with Tessa’s cousin, Nicola.
Of course, there was also lots to celebrate. Most importantly there were the births, development and careers of Richard, Nick, Adam and Rod. Chris took enormous interest and pride in them all, celebrating their successes and always keen to bring the family together…..birthdays, graduations, the weddings of Nick and Nedra and of Adam and Kerri, Tessa and Chris’ ruby and golden weddings to mention a few. Chris was also completely devoted to his grandchildren, Lyle, Ray, Merrill, Kallista, and Huw. When I look back at emails and conversations from Chris over the past few years, they were full of details about the achievements of his four sons and his grandchildren. They also contained updates about Tessa, showing how wonderfully supportive he was during periods of ill-health. Family were always incredibly important to Chris.
Alongside this, Chris’ accountancy work played a very important role. His early employment, details of which were provided by Nick, covered jobs at Peat Marwick, at UK Optical, at Wiseman, and at Pantak EMI. His work included an eighteen month spell in Northern Ireland at a time when ‘The Troubles’ caused lots of worries for the rest of the family about their safety. Later Chris decided to set himself up independently as an accountancy consultant which proved to be a highly successful move. He was delighted to have a grandson following in his footsteps. Friends and clients have given a flavour of Chris’ approach to his work. Let me quote a few examples:
- Jack Green wrote: ‘Chris enjoyed the manufacturing processes of the firms he worked in, be it glasses, lenses or X-ray machines. He knew the detail needed in their manufacture. Walking round with him and meeting staff at work in the office or shop floor you could instantly see he had a great empathy with people and was respected.’
- One client said: ‘Chris was initially recommended to me by a former colleague who said he was a tax magician, and also an engaging and trustworthy person. I felt I was in brilliant hands as soon as Chris started looking after my accounts….I remember Chris as being unerringly supportive and patient – a brilliant professional and a special person.’
- Another client said: ‘How many other accountants could recite Kipling’s Ballad of the Cars, faultlessly and from memory, discuss the merits of Bentley versus Bugatti, or compare memories of continental road trips over the course of a long and convivial lunch?’
Chris brought the same skills and interest to other activities, whether it was organising a synagogue music club called Turntable, which met at Tessa and Chris’ home, supporting a client’s charity work in Sri Lanka, or taking on the role of Worshipful Master of the Halcyon Lodge in the 1980s. He continued his involvement in the lodge throughout the rest of his life, describing it as ‘drama with lovely prose and followed with a lively social meal.’
The mention of drama and prose reminds us of Chris’ love of music, theatre and literature. Today’s readings were selected by the family as a sample of Chris’ favourite pieces, which he would frequently recite by heart. He had a wide-ranging knowledge of literature (the rest of us sometimes had to nod politely) and he simply loved books. For many years he and Tessa ran the Four Pages book business from their home; perhaps an opportunity for Chris to purchase books that he wanted to read himself? Sue Green told me that she always admired Chris and Tessa’s knowledge and love of literature; when she brought her own children to tea at Tessa and Chris, the children read books and ate chocolate spread sandwiches.
That brings us to Chris’ culinary skills and his love of food. His particular favourite was cheese. He would quote Eugene Field: ‘But I, when I undress me…Each night upon my knees…Will ask the Lord to bless me….With apple pie and cheese.’ Richard and Nick recall how Chris would often (always?) over-order and when he organised a celebration for Richard’s 21st birthday, they all ended up with huge doggy-bags. Nick took his back to university and had so much cheese that he didn’t need to buy any food for a fortnight, just surviving on cheese. Nick also remembers a family holiday in Italy. They arrived in a town in Tuscany where Chris led them on a walk, which took all morning, searching for the perfect restaurant for lunch. And after lunch they spent the rest of the afternoon walking round the rest of the town to find the best place for dinner.
Throughout his life Chris loved the opportunity to travel. He and Tessa had many overseas holidays, particularly enjoying visits to all parts of the United States and to Canada. But equally, Chris loved his journeys, often with family, around the UK from the Scillies to the Orkneys, including many trips to the Pitlochry Festival Theatre. These often lasted for five weeks incorporating a stop in Manchester to see Nick, Nedra and the grandchildren, with Chris working on his laptop while he was away. Chris and Tessa particularly enjoyed their stays in the New Forest and in Bembridge on the Isle of Wight.
On holiday Chris loved meeting up with other people, talking to those he met, arranging to rendez-vous with friends and contacts, such as a hotelier in Fort William who was one of his clients. He also took a real interest in the holidays of his four sons. Chris and Tessa visited Pam and me a few years ago and was very interested in our New Zealand trips, immediately relating them to Richard and Rodney’s holidays in the same places. He knew all the details of their journeys and was delighted that they were also enjoying travelling.
This conversation reminds me of another of Chris’ characteristics, his sense of humour. As Chris and Tessa sat having lunch in our garden on a baking hot day, Chris looked around at our grass which was completely parched and yellow, and commented with a chuckle that of course in their garden in Woodhall Drive he didn’t have to worry; their lawn was still very green because, as Chris said, there wasn’t much grass left as it only consisted of weeds. Family, friends and clients all experienced this sense of fun and his enjoyment of life.
So now as our thoughts today are with particularly with Tessa, with Richard, Nick, Adam and Rod, Nedra and Kerri, and with all the grandchildren. I hope that these many happy memories will provide a little comfort and over time we will all find consolation in Chris’ many positive contributions. It seems appropriate to conclude with a verse, this time by David Harkins:
You can shed tears that he is gone
Or you can smile because he has lived
You can close your eyes and pray he will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.
