Hey Baby I miss you so much! My heart breaks for you! Why Baby did you have to go!? Uncle Ray has liver cancer! He doesn't have much more time before he is up there with all of you. And you know that Bigmama isn't very far behind him. Please tell God I am ready to come home! I can't go thru this again.
HEllo my sweet sweet boy! I miss you so much! Today is National Mother's day for mothers who lost a child. I can remember the last Mother's day you celebrated with me! You bought me some Reese peanut butter cups and a card. If you only knew how much I love you! Did you know? I pray you do! I wish I could of said something to make you change your mind. I want you here with me right now!!! You will always be love you and hold you dear to my heart. I have so much guilt and wonder why? Wish mama's love would have been enough to keep you here!
HHey Christopher I need your help. Bigmama is not doing well as you know. I don't want her to leave but I don't want to to go but at the same time I hate to see her suffer. She is ready to go home with you and the other family members. At the same time she is worried about leaving us all. Help me make the right choices and everyone back me. Talk to bigmama and see want she wants then let me know!!!!
CChristopher was over at his cousin/best friend/big brother's house. And I don't have many videos of him so this means alot because I can hear his wonderful voice!
Hey sweetheart
Well time is going by so fast. Why does when you don't want time to go by fast, it does. But when you are looking forward to something time goes by so slow? I dread this whole month. I miss you so much. I am so lonely and miss the time we had together, the talks we have, and your smile, and hugs! There have been so many things I wanted you here with me!
I need you here to talk to you. I want you with me! I wish I would see you sometime or hear your voice. I am so lonely for you. I never thought about it when you were here but now I realize how much I depended on you for support and comfort. The last 2 months of your life I thought even through all the trouble you were there for me. Christopher I miss you so much.
People can't understand me but I don't understand myself. I use to be a strong woman but since you left I am so weak. I cry all the time. I wear a mask around everyone. I can't show my pain to people because they don't understand why I still hurt as bad as I do.
TO'Day was your birthday so we went to the last restaurant we took him last year for his birthday. Around 22 people shown up. We then left Red Lobster and went to park to release sky lanterns. I miss him so much especially when other people was singing happy birthday to other people. I only cried once or twice but when I got home the tears strrated to flow. I am alone alot and I prefer that. Only ones I want to be the but my husband, mom, grandma, and son. I can't help it
Christopher was a very intelligent person I knew. He had a sense of humor that alot did not understand. He was funny and very caring. He would see a kid in the game store looking at a game sadly. He would go talk to him and find out that he didn't have enough money for the game, he would then give him the money he needed. Of course he would come ask me for more money so he could get his game. He one day when he was about 7 he was climbing a tree in the back yard. Well heard him yelling, went outside and found him dangling from the tree. Funny cause he was running in place. I couldn't help but laugh. He got mad saying "mama it isn't funny because I have a massive wedgy. I couldn't lift him so searched for a ladder. Only one I could find was or above ground pool ladder. After some time he got down then looked at me and said" About time I could have died. No grandchildren for you!"
He would watch TV in my room. My mom or I would hear help me someone out there help me! We would go in and all we would see would see is his legs kicking in the air! He fell down between the mattress and footboard. He was hard to get out. This happened about 3 to 4 times.
Once he was swimming with his brother in the above ground pool. He got mad and hung his brother by the swim shorts on a connector then came in. I heard his brother yelling and asked him what was wrong with Christian. He threw up his hands saying "God only knows!" Went out and found him and he kicking screaming help. I got in and helped. Then yelled and punished Christopher.
There are so many more so I will share more.
