- 20 years old
- Date of birth: Jun 19, 1996
- Date of passing: Aug 27, 2016
|Let the memory of Conrad be with us forever|
"Ashi boo, it's been 34 weeks without you. You know I spent the longest time today wondering whether or not time exists in heaven. I was chatting with someone and then it got too late where he was and it reminded me of all the times we missed each other's calls because of the time difference. I also realized that I still do not believe this whole thing but like I know it's true, I don't know if that makes any sense but I know you understand me...enjoy life on the other side baby brother. Save everything pink for me....we miss you udim...we all do. Love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
Only God knows how much Ive fought laying this flower, but I don't know how to ignore for such a long time.
I hope heaven is everything and more, and I hope you are staying Lit, it's not easy down here and I think heaven is the real deal. But you are greatly missed.
Just keep praying for us.
Too much love
"Ashi boo, I've made a decision. I know I should've done so a long time ago as you continuously advised but I have made one now. So I'm going to stick to the original plan and do this our way...coz this is what we do best! So watch me make you proud! Love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"Ashi boo!!! Happy Easter baby boy!!! Heaven is where the real thing happens and you get to enjoy all of it and that gladdens my heart ❤️ Have fun for us all coz we will be missing you all through...no Easter message from you today baby brother but God's got us! Happy Easter again baby boy....love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"Ashi boo, it's been 33 weeks without you. There's so much I want to say to you. You know Kendrick dropped an album and it's LIIIT! I'll give anything to hear you disturb my ears about how Kendrick is everything and all, I even feel guilty listening to the songs without you. I found words that kind of express how I feel and I personalized the words a bit, here goes nothing...
"I pray every night I could see you one last time
I look in the clouds as if for a sign
I go to sleep crying, I wish you were here
But there in my dreams you often appear
That beautiful smile I see on your face
Assures my heart you're in a better place
I knew you were special but not just to me
How so many people loved you was clear to see
The day you were taken my heart was so broken
I knew there were words I shouldn't have left unspoken
I miss you so much but I know you understand
I can't wait for the day I get to hold your hand
As we walk down the road that is paved with gold
We will hear all the stories we were once told
And there we will see Him, so beautiful and strong
And we will know this is where we finally belong
So soon I will be there and I know you will wait
As you take my arm through the pearly gates
But till then I will keep my head high and know it will be OK
Until we can be together again one day."
Love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"The thoughts that hunt me always
the answers I will never get
I keep thinking Conrad
What if I was given longer time with you?
Will we have worked out
Will we have been together forever?
The sad truth about this is i'll never find out
and this hurts me deeply
I wasn't given a chance
I will never know
what would it have been like?
what kind of cruel fate is this?
this thoughts keep going on and on
for me its never
I feel like my life is all about my opportunities being taken away from me
I can't proof myself
Am starting to have weird ideas
I feel am not good enough
I feel I can do better but am not being given a chance
No one seems to listen
No one seems to care what I can do
and even life babe
Life didn't give me a chance with you
I MISS YOU."
"There are days when I try so hard not to be sad
I try to seem happy but fail
This is one of those
Am trying my best to smile today
Am looking for distractions
Am trying to concentrate on my work
Am trying not to think
But nothing is working
I just really miss you
I just don't want to feel alone
I am tired
Everything that made me happy doesn't make me come close to happiness
The worst is I still keep trying and failing
Am hurting and can't deal
Does the heart really heal cause mine keeps breaking
Am really tied of fake smile."
"Ashi boo, it's been 32 weeks. My life has been such a struggle lately, school is killing your girl. I miss you telling me not to let myself get ill due to stress. I miss you worrying about everything I do. I miss you udim.. your girl is finishing exams next week...can you believe it coz I still cannot especially because of how crazy this past year has been. Well baby brother, I have so much gist for you, you know I'm your most reliable amebo source and I hope you have gist for me too because I can't tell you how I miss our gossip. Sleep on baby boy, love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"It's April fools day babe
Exactly a year ago today I woke up in tears cause we were not talking
I woke the two Obys' up and the initially thought I was joking
I couldn't stand not talking to you for that long
It was the longest problem we ever had and took ages to solve
I hated the idea of us not communicating and was so messed up and this was what I thought was a long time
But you beat that record everyday now babe. Everyday is a day more of not talking to you and I don't even know how am making it through."
"Ashi boo, 31 weeks ago you left us. Today is April fool's day and I can think of so many pranks I would have tried on you, tried because I know I would've failed. Like everyday else, I miss you brother and I miss you more as days go by. I had a long conversation today with another friend that is dear to my heart, he made me realize that to a large extent, you are lucky. Ashi, everything in me trusts that you made heaven and isn't that what we all want...stay happy baby boy. I'm living for you so please have fun for me too because you deserve it. Love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
It's been a long time...i miss you
My week hasn't been the best...so much has happened...I got told am not good enough without being given a chance...it really broke me but it's fine I won't let that define me I'll just keep going for us..back to us babe it's been a while 7 whole months...don't you see my tears I feel like am losing it...I feel like there's so much going on in my head I don't even understand anymore...I know we will be together again soon but what breaks me more is don't know when. There's a new Kendrick song out and I know for sure you would love it. I played it to the photo of you on my wall but that ain't you...am in tears cause the pictures aren't you they just some of the memories you left me.. I love you always"
"I miss you bro and it is in a time like this, a time like this in my life when i'm beginning to fear and feel that I might join you soon."
"It's 7 months Conrad"
"Ashi boo, 7 months ago you left us...your family, friends and even Instagram stalkers. I miss you udim, I wish I could say it in another way....I'll be back later...I have a test now...Love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"Ashi boo, 30 weeks ago my life changed and I wish it never did. This past week was very tough. I feel like I cried at least three times a day, I spoke to one of your amazing friends and she's also just getting by and she misses you so much. I really can't wait to touch your face and know we have eternal life and I don't need to be scared of losing you ever again.As for now, let's keep talking...love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"Your watching right?
Your seeing everything happen
Everything go on without you
It's more than 6 months...your loved ones need you
You are meant to be the support..the one to lean on.
Just like every day but some days more I miss you
Am still scared of being alone Conrad
It's crazy when I think of everything but you remain an unforgettable part of my life.
I love you ❤️"
"Ashi boo, it's been 29 weeks without you. I feel like that's what Saturdays are to me, just another week gone by without you. Yesterday was our African show at school. The weird thing is the first year I went for it, I told you about a group of boys that danced so well, they danced yesterday. Their performance was so good that I wish I could tell you all I did so you could tell me, "I'm sure they ain't that good" I actually just heard you say that in my head...lol. I miss you udim... Love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️""
"Ashi boo, I'm crying soooo much right now and i can't explain it...I guess there'll always be days like this where i cry more than usual. I miss you udim...I miss you so much. I keep doing things for us hoping they'll feel the same as they did, the thing I'm working on is beginning to scare me. What if I don't feel even a bit of what i ought to feel? I mean there's no you...Ashi boo am I being stupid???? Please say something to me baby brother....Your Benyin misses you udim...forever your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"Ashi boo, it's been 28 weeks since you left ...28 baby brother. I actually had a very interesting week. There was a bomb threat on my campus and some racist guy also claims he's gonna kill one black person everyday. All of these had me thinking what our lives are truly worth. Anyway, school is also killing your girl but I'll make it through. Still working on that thing udim, God will make it a beautiful thing. I saw you two days ago but we didn't talk so I really do hope you're good...I know you are though coz that smile I saw could not have been fake. We haven't talked in a while though, I know I've been getting very little sleep but all of these will soon be over, Your friend will get this degree for both of us, so please udim just bare with me a little. Maybe just miss me half as much as I miss you....love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"Ashi boo, it's been 27 weeks baby boy. Someone told me I'm holding on too much and that's stopping me from moving on...truth is, i wanna be happy and people need to understand that you are a major part of that. Death cannot tear us apart! I miss you more everyday but I console myself by the fact that you have found true happiness. We constantly rejoiced in each other's joy and so I am happy that you're happy, and you know I mean it, I still wish we could rejoice together though. One of our projects is actualizing Ashi boo...we are forever Ashi and Oby. But udim don't you miss my gossip???? My mouth is itching from not pouring it to you sef...forever Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"I had this thing in my head were I thought you'll be back at some point and everything we've been through in the last months would be a nightmare we once had...but it's 6months today Ashi...there's no sign of you, only memories left...everyday being a anniversary of something a year before...feels like yesterday I got the news...you left us Ashi without a word or goodbye, no hope of new memories being created, what is really the reason, why is this game going on? There are so many questions but no answers. I still miss you so much, I still cry, I still wish you were here, wish you never had to go through this all alone."
"Ashi boo, 6 months have gone by without you! I'm crying so much right now and I can't even explain it. I've had the craziest week but you know that already. Udim I miss you so much, I'm taking my grad photos today and I can't stop crying, I would have sent you snaps, chatted all day after that but I can't have any of that and it's killing me! I've tried this new normal without you and it's not working....I miss my brother...I want to hear your epic replies to my non-stop gossip, I want to be able to tell people I can't tell them stuff coz it's our secret, I want to chat with you in a crowded room and make people around me jealous coz they can feel my joy. I went to make my hair and the hair dresser remembers you from two years ago...she asked about you, said some pretty scary stuff and you already know the rest. I love you baby brother... I should be consoled by the fact that you said you're always beside me, but sometimes it's just not enough. You saved my life baby boy and I won't let you down, it becomes clearer by the day that I'm living for us both...you live as long as I live..we will conquer the world udim...every breath I take, you take too...love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"Ashi boo, it's been 25 weeks since you left baby brother. I had a terrible dream this morning but somehow you still saved me even then...there was so much going on there and I still don't know what the dream means but I prayed hard and I'll keep praying. Another angel gained her wings yesterday and I heard about her departure today, it's been a sad day and it has left me questioning the essence of all these again. I'll try to cheer up for you udim...love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"Ashi boo, happy Valentine's Day baby brother! I talked about you so much today that I'm sure I frustrated some people but they were just too polite to complain. I know you're having way more fun than earth could ever provide. Happy Valentine's baby brother....love you forever...Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"It's Valentine's Day today baby and like all other days I miss you so much...I love you Conrad❤️"
"Ashi Serzli itz just soooo sad we all hv 2 accept d fact dat ur gone bt nt forgotten. Just went through ur ig page, nd deris no new pic 2 comment on or double click..u'r will always b remembered for your love nd good deeds on earth..miss ya #ma_obudu_broda..RIP hun.. :-("
"Ashi boo, it's been 24 weeks without you. I know you are enjoying your kingdom because you deserve that. I still wish living without you was never an option. I miss you udim. The gist I have for you though....how can you just be fine without our gossip? It hurts me so bad that I can't tell you these things. I need to let this out somehow, I'll figure something out....I always do. Love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"It's February, the month of love and there's no you to make me feel loved. It's almost the 14th and nobody to buy me flowers like you did last year. Roxi and Alex think I am going insane. They said they will buy me all the flowers and take me to Bucharest but you know that nobody does it better that you my love. They also think I am crazy because I have finally accepted to say yes and be your girlfriend after you are no longer here, but you know what? I don't really care. I regret not telling you earlier and I am not going to keep regretting that. Last night, I read one of our arguements when I was so insecure because I saw your text with some other girl and you told me I would always have your heart. Now I regret arguing. I regret fighting over nothing and wish I could take those moments back to enjoy you. You would always have my heart and I would always have yours. I would try do something this month to remember you and the love we share. It will never be broken darling, even in your absence our hearts will still be together. Love forever...your baby❤❤"
"Ashi boo, it's been 23 weeks without you. Wednesday was one of those really bad days. I was pissed all through and then cried myself to sleep. Don't worry though udim, you said I'll be fine and I'm starting to believe that. Fine doesn't mean I'll be perfect, it just means I'll live with this because I have no choice. I miss you brother, soooo much. Loving you more by the day....Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"There's still no call or message from you no matter how long I wait...I can't say or express how much I miss you...I sit and wonder where it all went wrong....where it changed...there's no answer no matter how hard I think...I feel like am in a never ending maze...I keep hearing things, I keep trying not to believe, I keep getting mad, I keep trying to stop...life is not so easy...I hope your alright cause I am not...I miss you Conrad."
"Ashi boo, today makes it 5 months since you left. That means it's been 5 months since I felt complete joy, 5 months since I looked at your photo and smiled because I had plans to steal a jacket or something else you had on. I sit here and think about how August 27th was for me before I heard the news, I regret waiting till later that day before dialling your number. I should have called you earlier that day, I should have kept you on the phone, I should have reminded you how much you mean to me baby brother. I'm sorry for letting you miss me udim, I'm sorry for owing you that FaceTime call until it only happened in my dream exactly a week after your death. Even in that dream, I remember telling you 'Ashi this is a stupid idea, how can we FaceTime when you are right in front of me?' Your reply was that you just wanted to talk to me and you promised it was going to be fun which it truly was. Ashi boo, I am truly sorry for not delaying my trip till summer. I wish I got to see you, I wish you could be with me and we could truly have fun in somewhere other than my dreams. The good news though baby brother is that I have started work on one of our projects and it won't be too easy to pull off, but I've got some awesome people involved and you know I will give my all to make it your ideal project. Ashi boo, you may be physically gone but you live on as long as I do and the world will know you were here, I promise you! Come say hello soon...it's been a while baby brother. Love always...Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"Ashi boo, 21 Saturdays after and I still want to wake up from this nightmare called reality....mi miss ugan di udim. I have so much to tell you but trust me I won't forget anything. Love always...Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"Ashi boo, you know it's been 20 weeks baby brother...20 Saturdays after...Saturdays haven't been the same. I miss you udim...I was so ill this week and I got scared and wondered...let me not say it. I miss you baby brother. Love always....Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"Baby. I have spent months regretting so much. How I kept you waiting for so long when you asked me to date you, how I was so skeptical in telling you that I love you and you got tired of saying it and hearing no reply. Still remember us going to the beach and you coming to see me. I check my door every morning hoping you would come back. I kept saying that being your girlfriend won't change so much because we spent so much time together. I was wrong. I am going to have to live regretting this. I miss you, I miss your lips, you Jokes, miss sending you those weird snaps of myself. I miss you sending me videos, bringing pizza for me. How you told me I was special. Played with my cat and drank all the wine in my fridge. I miss wearing black lipstick for you during winter because you love it. Miss you darling. I was waiting to see you to give you an answer but I never did. My answer is yes. My answer would always be yes. Yes I would be your girlfriend and I miss you calling me strawberry."
"I miss you
Everything happens and there's no you to talk to
I always shared everything with you
I miss you around
Now I realise how much of you time you gave me
I realise how much of my bullshit you listened to
I miss you
I miss starting our fights
I miss you ignoring my arguments
I miss you
I read our chats everyday and all I see are unfulfilled promises
What will never be now
Every dream we both had together
I saw on one of our chats where you said "never stop missing me and I'll also never stop missing you"
I cried when I saw that
Asif you knew my life was soon going to be all about missing you
I hope you are keeping that promise cause mine will be kept forever.
I love you Unimashi❤️"
"Sweetest of hearts... I miss you every day darling!"
"Ashi boo, it's been 19 weeks you know...19! I love you baby boy...I put up that picture of me you loved so much. Your exact words were "my boo of life". I miss you beyond words baby brother...stop by soon. Love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"Ashi boo, 2016 is ending in less than three hours. This month made it 5 years since we became real friends. I had planned to write a long essay to tell you the many ways the year was messed up and how I can't wait to move on. But now, I just can't stop thinking about the fact that you won't get to celebrate a new year. Ashi boo, I'm just going to tell you things I'm thankful for. First off, thank you baby brother for the 5 years you shared with me. Now more than ever, I know you were even more awesome than I had known. I've seen posts from so many people and it just confirms that you were always an angel. Ashi boo, you touched so many people and I'll never stop admiring your life. I'm sorry for you know what...I just knew you were going to be very protective as you had proven to be in the past. Ashi boo, I promise to make one of our dreams come true this year, by God's grace we will do big things. Baby brother, please stay happy...that's all I want you to be. God bless your soul. Loving you into 2017...Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
it's four months
It's New Year's Eve
it's hitting me
2016 stole from me
I started the year with love
With you in it
Now it's meant to end without you
Conrad it's not fair
This wasn't the plan
2017 is coming and your not in it
Few mins to a new year without you
I wish I had a time machine sometimes
But then wishes don't come through
But I know that you will be well and happy
Your memory will continue to live babe...I love you so much...❤️"
"Ashi boo, according to the calendar, it's been four terrible months since you left, but it's really been 17 weeks and 2 days. I take out my frustration on people that don't deserve it and the worse part is, udim sometimes I'm not even sorry. I don't want to be this way, I look around me and see that a lot of people are doing well, so why am I still such a mess? I miss you more than words could ever describe. I look forward to reuniting with you and I hope heaven has a way to make you be in multiple places at the same time because you won't leave my sight for a while. Miss you baby brother...love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"Hey baby... Christmas is almost over...I got so drunk and wasn't going to say anything to you...but I miss you...I miss you telling me what you ate on Christmas Day or the movie you saw ob Christmas Eve cause you didn't go home...but then I know it's a lonely Christmas for you cause you don't have your loved ones there but we still miss you and pray you have the best Christmas...wish you were here. Love forever.❤️"
"Merry Christmas Ashi boo....I miss you sooooo much...Christmas is harder than I expected. I'm just gonna go to bed and hopefully I'll be in a better mood by dawn. I hope you have the best Christmas yet because you know all I wish you is endless joy...I miss you baby brother. Love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"Ashi boo, I'm trying out this new thing where I channel all my pain into making both our dreams come true. It has not been easy but then you will be happy with the outcome. I will make one of our dreams come true soon, please stay by my side and help me. We can still do this baby boy. I really do want to make you proud Ashi....I love you sooooo much. Oh yeah it is Christmas season but I could not care less about Christmas this year. I guess you will have an even merrier Christmas as you will celebrate with Jesus Himself, I am happy that you are happy, I really am. I still miss you sooooo much though and I wish you never left. I love you udim and I really hope you never forget that....watch out for our project baby....you live on. Love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"Some days are meant to be better than some...
Am still waiting for a good day
Some days it's like I just heard the news again
Some days am in shock
Some days I doubt my sanity...
Today is one of those...
Today I don't believe, I have so much doubt today, am shaking Ashi...
Is it really true? Does 16 weeks of silence mean you're really gone?
I can't even hear your voice, all I have are voice notes...this is so confusing.
I need to see your smile to make me smile... Conrad I miss you.
I miss your presence in my life. Love forever..."
"Ashi boo, I read our messages on snapchat again today and I've regretted the ones I failed to save. Udim I miss you sooooooo much....this was never part of the plan...how do I act normal? I love you baby brother....you kept telling me I was special...Ashi you reminded me how much I meant to you as often as possible. I'm sorry for the times I failed to show you how much you mean to me...you are one of the best things that ever happened to me....you live on as long as I live...Ashi boo, your name is not gone,,,,I promise you. Love always...Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"Hey babe, its 3am and I’m having trouble sleeping, getting use to that now but then it hurts. This long pause. I don’t know when life will play again and that hurts more. Am tired of playing games Conrad. Help me wake up, this nightmare is starting to seem like reality, am permanently becoming part of this dream world. I want to leave now babe, I need to wake up, it’s starting to seem real, no…you can’t really be gone, it’s so confusing because you’re not one to give up just like that. So I’m patiently waiting for this nightmare to be over as long as there’s you when I wake up. I LOVE YOU UNIMASHI!!!"
"Ashi boo, you already know who it is. it's been 15 weeks oh! I still wake up and ask myself how I've gone another day without talking to you. I'm desperate to say goodbye to the year but I'm scared too. Ashi boo, starting a new year means starting it without you. I wish i had gone home when you asked me to. Udim I'm soooo sorry, please don't leave me...I love you sooo much. A large part of my heart is yours and it will be forever. Remember that room you said God showed you for us...even if it's 80 years after, we will live next to each other. I love you forever udim....talk to you soon....love always, Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"Ashi boo, today is my dad's remembrance and you're not here to check on me countless times. Don't you see me crying??? Ashi boo, this is legit the worst year ever and I pray it remains the worst. I cannot handle another year like this so I don't want to imagine a worse year. Tell my dad all about me today..please filter the nasty...lol. I miss you baby boy. Love always...Your Benyin ❤️❤️❤️"
"Ashi boo, I started exams yesterday and I cried so much, you know how I'm always so scared and how you never fail to tell me how much you believe in me, I miss that. I know you still believe in me, even though I don't even know if I believe in myself, I still hear your voice when I'm about to give up saying, "My Benyin, is it not you again? You've got this baby!" Ashi boo, I'm sorry I've been so weak this past week, I think all of these is just hitting me. The days I talk to you in my sleep, I wake up happy but then after a while I realize that this is reality and I don't want it to be udim. I miss you soooo much, I'm sorry i let you miss me on earth, I'm sorry for all the times we lost, I'm sorry I didn't go home this summer. I miss you handsome...I want us to live beside each other's mansions as you had planned....So many things I looked forward to, I did so because of you and you aren't here....I miss you soooo much... Love always...Your Benyin ❤️️❤️️❤️️"
"For the last couple of days I have cried because of mixed feelings , I have been mad, I have missed you and I have wanted to see you. It's been 3 horrible months, 3 months of no happiness, 3 months of fake smile, 3 months of pretending am okay, 3 months of waiting for you to comeback, 3 months of hoping you'll keep your promise to me. It's so hard Conrad. It's really hard living this way wishing we did everything in the little time we had, wishing I travelled to see you when I was meant to, wishing I had not unnecessarily gotten mad all the times I did, wishing I had not spent the times I had making unnecessary arguments. I thought we had time. I regret it babe. It's so hard trying to forgive myself. Am mad at us, my headaches. I miss you so much. Not getting use to no more you... I LOVE YOU CONRAD UNIMASHI IKLAKI!!!"
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