stared at this for a while and choosing to give in. Conrad, its been five years. Thats a long time. It's actually weird that I would be writing this to someone who wont read it. Thinking about it, we actually spent your last days together. Its funny how I am so different from that girl. I know you are also so different now too. I have moved from blaming myself to accepting death is part of life and it was just unfortunate you had to go. My prayers have always been that you ended up with the lord and are truly resting in peace. I cant say that I know that especially because this was a conversation that came up the morning we  last saw before we both traveled. This has been the weirdest thing that has happened to me. Sometimes truth feels like a heavy weight on my shoulders. it used to but nolonger does. I am okay knowing the things I know about everything. I am okay with not having to say anything. Continue to rest in peace Conrad. I pray that your soul truly found the rest it deserves.