It's been 10 years (yesterday)that my girl has transitioned and I miss her presence each and every day. I look for ways to celebrate her life. There were things I stopped doing when she passed that now after 10 years, I'm ready to begin again. Life is fragile as well as finite. I know the older I get, the more important it seems to make the best of the moments we have with each other. I want to celebrate the living, the people that are here with me now, because eventually they will all be gone one day as well. We all will. So, each day is of great importance. That is how I want to start and end each day. And not to sweat the small stuff. I want to impart knowledge and experience to my girls like I did with Corrina. I want to spend more time creating memories and enjoying the present like I did with Corrina. I want to invest in relationships and strengthen my connection others. I want to support those who have been there and supported me. This I will strive for because this is who I always was for my Corrina, she had ALL of me. And when she left, some of me went with her and grief filled the void. Through the grace of God, Love has started to creap back in.

This year I want to dedicate any good that I do to my Corrina Payge. Learning to crochet and spending time doing that with my girls is one goal. Drawing and sketching with Angelina is another. Softer parenting and being receptive towards my girls' feelings is one more. Challenging myself to be the best person I can be and working hard to put compassion and respect towards others first, another. Corrina was a person who wore her heart on her sleeve and she always did what she felt was right. She stood up for what she believed in. She was such a strong force of love and strength in my life. Her passing is still uncomprehensible to me. Her spirit and energy is very much alive and with me. Energy never dies and it never leaves us. Her spirit is with me.

As I went through the day with thoughts of my girl I really focused on communing with her on a spiritual level. Feeling her presence around me and giving thanks and rejoicing her spirit and her love. I don't think of her body or ashes in the cemetery as where she exists. She exists in our enduring love for her. We keep her alive in us.
I miss her yesterday, today, tomorrow and always as I love her always and forever.
I know she is so proud of her sisters, her aunt Mandy and cousin Stephen. I know she misses and adores her aunt Meg, Raelyn, and uncle Mitchell. I know she misses her Gramma Gini and pappy Mike. I know she misses me her "mum". She was always proud of me and she was the wind beneath my wings. She would be so proud of the wonderful young women her little sisters are turning out to be. I am slowly recovering from the shock of loosing my girl. But I live in her memory and thoughts of her bring me strength. She was one of the strongest women I have ever known. I think that's why I was so devastated when she passed. I miss everything about her. Everything.

I wish my amazing, beautiful, funny, and loving niece was here with me and my daughter. I will forever and always miss Corrina and wish she was physically present in my life. I know she would have made Raelyn smile and laugh. I remember how Corrina made me feel and how she taught me how to have a good time through quality time, deep conversations, laughter, art, music, adventure, and curiosity. Corrina really helped me learn how to live my best life and I will try to pass on what I learned from her spirit to Raelyn. ❤️

It's hard for me to wrap my mind around Corrina being gone for 9yrs when my memories of her are so fresh!!  One of my most poignant memories is how generously she gave of her Spirit in that last year when she was so sick.  Corrina continued to find and give joy everywhere she went. We all witnessed her undying love and devotion as she bravely faced each day transcending her suffering

Till the very end Corrina shared her laughter, sense of humor and adoration for her little sisters who adored her. Meghan, Kayla and I have countless memories of times spent with her on Smith Lane where she would entertain the girls with hilarious stories of her life and watch scary movies with them. She would have Meg and Kayla rolling in laughter 

Corrina lived an incredible amount of life and shared an incredible amount of herself in her 20 years of physically being with us. That's why it often feels like yesterday that she was still with us. Her presence in our lives was that strong. 

I am remembering my Grandaughter today as always and my heart overflows with gratitude that she was part of my life and I was part of hers. Still❣️

I remember when Corrina was a baby she used to suck her two fingers. I remember the way her breath smelled like milk and the rhythm of the sound of her sucking. I remember the way she would lock in on my eyes as if she could see into my soul. I would massage her head and stroke my hand through her curly locks. I adored every particle of her being. Most of all, I loved the way she loved me.
Mum.

Happy Birthday Corrina!

My Grandaughter Corrina was a frequent visitor at our house on Oliver Ave in Economy Boro. She could walk over from her house, just half mile away.... I loved her visits, she brought joy and laughter to all of us!! Corrina helped me in the garden and would comment on how she loved the smell of the herbs we were growing. She helped pull weeds and pick ripe tomatoes and peppers. There were lilac bushes in that yard and Corrina asked if she could cut some bunches of them.
She brought several branches, shades of pink, purple and blue.
We put them in a vase and they filled the house with heavenly fragrance and beauty  
  Corrina found and created beauty and laughter wherever she was.
  Today, I am remembering her as if she were still here. The essence and youthful spirit of Corrina, felt by all who knew her, will carry through our lifetimes with memories of her laughter, playfulness, artistic talent and most of all, her love for family and friends

It's so hard when your Birthday comes around because you gave so much and you would have given anything to be with us a little longer. Corrina was the biggest giver. She always wanted the ones she loved to have everything. If she could she would get it for you or she would talk you in to getting it for yourself because"you deserve it". If Corrina were here today, she would be full of pride for her sisters and for me. In the end, she wanted to be home with us and just spend time. I think she knew in her heart it was the end, even though it came to me as a shock. I guess I could not imagine my life without her and I still can't. It's too painful. When I go there in my mind I tell myself I was given a gift of 20 years of my Corrina and she died in my arms. Today, I celebrate her life and give thanks for all the lives she touched. Until we are together again my angel. I miss you.

Happy birthday angel . My sweet hilarious niece . I shed a tear when I think about how much joy you brung me .I’ll admit nothing can prepare you for the amount of loss we all have endured , I was not prepared to let you go. I miss spending countless weekends with you at our house , coming to your moms to swim , holidays were so special because of you, your dad and and everyone else . We use to build funny snowmen and sled ride down the hill and get stuck in the bushes over the hillside LOL. And you would say “help help” and laugh as I tried to drag you back out of the bushes . Your laugh was contagious . We actually grew up more like sisters , only two years apart . I have countless memories . Halloween pranks your dad would play,NOT FUNNY lol but still so funny . Dress up and dancing to our favorite Backstreet Boys music and TLC. You loved Trina too lol . Girl you were the best person I knew . You didn’t let anyone mess with those you loved and you were so brave . Some may not know but before you lest this life I drove to beaver county every other weekend to get you to come spend the weekend at my house . You brought your tattoo gun, all your arts and crafts , you decorated beautiful phone cases for me . And we would grocery shop and reminisce our childhood, we reconnected as adults after being separated when I went back into foster care. The few months that we got to do so, even my friends remember you . That’s how special you are even if they only seen you a handle of times. They bring up the jokes you told and just how sweet you were . I’d give up a lot to sit in my living room and talk about geocatching lol. We had some amazing adventures. I keep a picture of you and all of us at sea world on my mirror in my bedroom. I have a son now and he’s 4 his name is ace and he would LOVE YOU. He has a beautiful smile and dimples that Remind me of you. Oh my sweet beautiful niece . What I would give to hear “sissy, let’s go outside “ you were everything, adventurous , fearless , smart, and creative . I miss you. Thank you for coming to spend time with me I guess that was god preparing me to be without you and I’m forever grateful for my time with you. I love you so much corrina . And I know your dancing in heaving with the rest of our loved ones.

Corrina's life was a Blessing, and her memory is a treasure. She is loved beyond words and missed beyond measure  The essence of Corrina's spirit is so present for her family and friends, and anyone who knew her and loved her. She will always be my Beloved Grandaughter!! Everytime I think of her it's as though she is right here.
Corrina Payge Layne is a shining star that we look up to now...⭐️

Forever in my Heart, 

.....Corrina's Gramma Downey

I love to visit this site and see the picture of my Corrina Payge blowing me a kiss. I hope that she is with her pappy James in heaven. 

Dear heavenly father, please bless me with the strength to continue on and do my best for my family and my girls. Help me to be present and to live in Corrina's memory of giving, loving and being authentic. 

I miss her smile, her voice and I miss being with her more than words can say. 

One year closer to seeing you again. I live in your memory, your energy and your light. I move forward with your love and support all around me, lifting me up and guiding me through life.
Give pappy a kiss for me my sweet girl.
Mum...

My dear Corrina,
You always made a BIG deal about Mother's day! You really loved me with all your heart and it showed. I miss you today and every day. The pain of missing you will never leave. I loved you just the way you were from the moment you were born until the day that you died in my arms. Until we are together again... my heart is with you.
Love Mom

Today you would be twenty-eight years old. You would be celebrating with your family or friends. Probably your family...because you loved your family so dearly. You would be so proud of your sisters! They are growing into beautiful young adults. They are loving and fun to be around. Your family misses you more than ever and wish you were here. I'm still in shock over your passing. It's like my mind can't wrap my head around it. I've even had dreams of you being alive. You are alive in my heart. It will be a joyous day when we are together again. I know you are in good hands with our loving and gracious Lord. I thank God for the day you were born and so thankful that I was blessed to be your "mum".

Everyone has a life story and Corrina Payge Layne is a big part of all of our life stories. In her 20yrs here with us Corrina touched each of our lives in unique and special ways: her laugh and sense of humor, her wonderful ability to tell the stories of her life, her artistic talents and creativity, her undying love for family and friends.

Corrina had a big heart and loved putting all of herself into everything she did for others. Before she passed Corrina's Uncle Mitchel and I, while in New Hampshire, received wonderful birthday cards from her. One week later she passed away and we realized that getting those cards and sending them to us were among some of the last loving thoughtful things Corrina did in her final days with us. Corrina played out the last chapter of her life here with us with courage and hope in spite of her suffering. 

Our wonderful Corrina is not suffering anymore....and in loving Memory we celebrate what would have been her 28th birthday and we celebrate the countless gifts and blessings she brought to all of our lives.

I am honored and grateful to have been Corrina's Grandmother!!

Our family has not been the same without you. Life has forever changed and my heart still aches every day for you. I miss you and love you with all of my heart. Now your pappy is with you in heaven. I hope you are together. I love you my darling daughter.
Love "Mum"

Happy Birthday Corrina, you are so well loved and missed by everyone that knew you and could have known you...

We miss you everyday!!! Not a day goes by that we are not thinking about you and wishing for you to be here with us. But for now we can just hold on to the many precious memories we were all so blessed to be a part of with you!!! You were a blessing to us all. You showed your love for life and family everyday!!! Love you

Corrina was a great daughter. She was so very loving, a great listener, she always had some kind of great personality or fun to interject into life. Corrina was also a great sister. She simply enjoyed giving her time to her sisters. Sometimes one at a time and sometimes she wanted both two sit with her, one on each side of her. She would always gather them and do something with them. She would talk with them, paint their tiny little nails. She knew she couldn't or wouldn't have children so she wasn't going to miss a beat when it came to her sisters. Corrina meant so much to so many and I'm so glad she was in my life. My heart is broken still, until we are together again. Your sisters and I live in your memory every day, but especially today Corrina Payge Layne.

My dearest Corrina,
I am so thankful for being blessed to be your mother. You are in Gods hands until we are together again. I live in your memory and am a better person because you lived. What I wouldn't give to have you back to embrace you and to hear your voice. I miss you today and every day.
"Mum."

 
When my Mother, Corrina's Great-Gramma Sandra, passed away, Corrina made the most beautiful card that she drew an Angel on, and signed it with all the names of Sandra's Grandchildren.... Corrina loved doing thoughtful things like that. Now , she is our Beloved Angel...

Missing you Corrina Payge; more than ever. I miss your humor, your voice, your joy and your strength. I am so thankful that God chose me to be your mom. I'm a better person because you loved me.

My darling Corrina, I look for ways to keep your spirit alive in each day in different ways. May your love for art live on in our heARTstones created in the loving memory of your creative and thrill seeking spirit. May others find joy and togetherness in finding them, giving them, keeping them and of course creating them! In the act of creating and placing these memory stones, we keep your youthful fun-loving spirit alive. I miss you more than ever and search for you in every corner of my heart.
Love forever and always,
Mom

........and all along, we were walking her home......

Even though I will always be your mother, I miss how I felt with you in my life everyday. I miss the sound your voice, your laugh and most of all, I miss your love for me. 
Mom

Although I'm not in as much shock, I'm still in disbelief that you transitioned. Who am I to question God's will? My love for you Corrina ran so deep, I tried to protect you from the world. As my first born and only child for the first eleven years of your life, you were the center of my world. Like I wrote to you in your photo book, "How wonderful life is, while you're in the world." I went through a journey with you being your mother. And I would have given you anything I had to give and you went through the same journey with me, and you wanted me to have the world as well. Our love is unwavering and undeniable. You are the light of my life and I miss you everyday until my heart bursts. I long to see you again and it will be a sweet reunion. Until then, my heart will ache.

"I am trying to remember you
and
let you go
at
the same time."

-the mourn

Happy Birthday Corrina Beana! What I would give to see you and hear your voice again. I always looked forward to just getting a text from you. You were a bright light for me when I didn't have people to talk to in New Hampshire. You knew how to make me laugh uncontrollably. I miss so many things about you. I wish I could still get your advice but I still look up to you. You knew how to be truly yourself, exude confidence, and have a good time. You got me excited to do things and try things like possibly going to Cancun someday. We sat in the office in our home in Colorado looking at pictures of different resorts, fantasizing about which one we would stay at. I smile remembering you saying, "Cancun hasn't seen anything yet. We are going to live it up there Meghan." We were waiting for my 18th birthday to go (when it would be legal for me to drink there). I know that you are in paradise now, a place much nicer than Cancun :) So as I began this post with, "I am trying to remember you and let you go at the same time." Remembering how full of life you could be inspires me to be the same and dream and have fun and laugh and add color to life just as you did. I love and miss you chica. <3

Meghan

.........At this time of year Corrina so often would call and say "Gramma, can I please have my Christmas gift early so I can go shopping"? And then she would spend it all on the people she loved! In Colorado, when Corrina lived with us, I took her Christmas shopping and watched her lovingly select presents while her eyes lit up just thinking about her little sisters and Mom opening her gifts. Corrina could make a dollar stretch when she shopped and her excitement was contagious....
 Now, we realize that she was the gift in her short time with us...
Those who are with us for a short time are special angels who will never get old and are always remembered for the gifts of the heart they gave, and Corrina gave so much........

It doesn't get easier , does it? I miss you sooo much . Life without you isn't the same and the wound just gets deeper and deeper. I need my best friend :(

You are in my heart and thoughts every single day Corrina!!! I hold the memories In my heart,cherish every one and am forever greatfull for the precious times we did share!!! I'm thankful for the time we did have!!!My faith in God and the inner knowing that I feel in my heart that you are at peace is what gives me strength and an inner knowing that we are all connected even when we transition!!! Your here right now with me and all of your loved ones!!!! Always will be Corrina!!! I love you With all of my heart Beautiful!!!! Thank you for touching my heart and soul I am forever greatfull and feel blessed for the time we did have!! Love, Mandy

.......On this third anniversary of the passing of our Beautiful Girl, there are simply no words that can express the depths of sorrow we feel while missing our daughter, granddaughter, sister, niece, friend and so much more: Corrina Payge Layne ......
   There are also no words to express the magnitude of our gratitude for the blessed time we did have with her.....

Lovingly remembered,  Corrina's Family

In Our Hearts ........ Corrina

 We thought of you with love today
  But that is nothing new
 We thought about you yesterday
   And days before that too.
  We think of you in silence
 We often speak your name
  Your memory is our keepsake
 With which we'll never part
  God has you in his keeping
  We have you in our Hearts .....   Your Loving Family

My sadness over losing Corrina is overwhelming to the point where I want to deny that she is physically gone. Witnessing her mothers broken heart and the tragic hole left in the lives of Corrina's precious little sisters, Elise and Angelina, whom she adored, is a type of suffering I would not wish on anyone.

  Corrina meant more to me than I even knew, and I will never get over missing her! I can only hope to gain the acceptance that I don't control everything, that it was her time though I wish it had been mine instead.

  The day Corrina departed part of us went with her, and part of her stayed with us and became part of who we are: changed forever, for the better, by knowing and loving her. No one can replace her!!!

   The powerful essence of Corrina's spirit cannot die.......

 I now have a "flower garden" of memories of my Beloved, Special and Forever Granddaughter.

          Love and Light to You Sweetheart, then, now, and always,
                                          Gramma

Happy Birthday, Corrina. May the higher power bless you with eternal joy and peace!

Yes.... I know my life has meaning, because of the loved ones I've been fortunate to have in my life. People like Corrina Payge Layne: my beautiful eldest Grandaughter. I only wish that Corrina was here looking at Forever Missed tribute of me instead of the other way around.
  And yes.....I've changed! Missing Corrina reminds me everyday to treasure the present moment with others and everything we do.
  Corrina was a people person....who enjoyed interacting with others in so many ways: artistically doing nails and makeup and tattoos for family and friends, arts and craft projects with her Mom and little sisters and always the laughter. Corrina left such a big part of herself with us when she left, it's amazing how much she gave in her twenty years !!!
  I know my life has meaning. Corrina helped to show me that ....
  A Grateful Gramma Gini

...... I remember making butternut squash ghosts with Corrina and and Meg on Oliver Ave. We painted them white and gave them faces with black marker. These ghost characters in different shapes and sizes sat on our window sills at Halloween time. We made ghosts out of string and elmers glue on wax paper.
  Corrina loved Halloween and was always full of creative fun ideas for costumes and decorations. We will always miss the special touch Corrina added to the holidays and will always treasure the memories.

                                           Gramma

I will always love you Corrina. Oh how I miss you. It's amazing how time passes us by and all this time I've been longing to see your smiling face. I wish I could go back in time, I didn't even get to say goodbye. :'( The only thing that comforts me is the thought of you being in a better place. You brought magic into our lives, a magic that we can never replace. I never really knew how many people's lives were touched by you but it comes as no surprise. My eyes are now open to how important every moment is with those that we love because we will never get them back. But you will always be with me. Forever I will love and miss you. Until the very end, you will be my angel. And I thank god my sister Laurie gave birth to you.
With all my heart,
Meghan

To my only niece...

My best friend since we were babies... The pain I feel is unbearable... Iv expierenced way too much loss... A feeling I cannot bare... In your last few weeks I had spend weekends with you! I'd drive all the way to your apartment to get you and bring you to my home for the weekend. We laughed, so much! You brought me & my friends joy ! I still have the cell phone cases you made me... And the videos of us all acting a fool . Lol . I miss you. & man were You were so over protective of me when you met the person in my life and all my new friends . I remember Eric , Devantae and you goofing around ! They still talk about you. I have that video of us singing and you talking about geo hunting lol or whatever. My gosh 20 was too young... While I'll be turning 24 on Sunday . Today I cried to my soon to be mother in law and told plenty of Christmas, birthday , fishing , Halloween , dancing memories of us growing together. You were the strongest, & brightest person i know ! All the pain we endured together, you were so supportive ! Some days I want to pick up the phone and tell you I'm coming to get you. We swam together, we laughed together, every great memory ! Fire works, jumping on the beds and getting in so much trouble lol . I have some pictures of us on my mirror to remind me of the greatest times of my childhood. we were so young . You were so beautiful , im just so thankful for being able to call you my niece ! My angel your dearly missed . And while I want to share my journey with you , as I become a wife I want you to know I'm forever empty without my dear friend and niece .

I love you ,

Sissy.

In desperate hope I search for her in all the corners of my house. I find her not.
 My house is small... and what once has gone from it can never be regained.
 But infinite is thy mansion, my lord, and seeking her I have come to your door.
         -------Rabindranath Tagore

 the world of the spirit is a world without walls....., time, space, or physical reality. I can close my eyes and instantly be with Corrina and my other departed loved ones. That's a gift !!

Thoughts of you flow in and out of my mind like waves across the ocean and I will ride each wave; memories of you... and time stands still and my heart aches. 
Until we are together once again~ Love Mom

"Let us, then, labor for an inward stillness--
an inward stillness and an upward healing;
that perfect silence where the lips and heart are still,
and we no longer entertain
our own imperfect thoughts and vain options,
but God alone speaks to us,
and we wait in singleness of heart,
that we may know His will,
and in the silence of our spirits,
that we may do His will and do that only."

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

It doesn't get any easier...I take comfort in the thought that we will be together again.
I Love You Corrina, Forever and Always,
Mom

Corrina Payge Layne, my eldest Grand-daughter is remembered every day!!! On this day we celebrate, in memory, what would have been her 22nd. birthday.
 One day, we were all in the car and I started singing " We Are Family".
Corrina looked at me like I was crazy and said: "let me out of this car, this is too embarrassing Gramma" and she actually jumped out of the car while cracking up laughing with Meg. Fortunately, we were going slow and nobody got hurt.
  There was always a lot of laughter when Corrina was around, and, of course, we loved and miss her laugh...... She had a belly laugh that was really joyous and contagious.

  Wish you were here Corrina,
      with all of our Love and treasured memories,

                Gramma, Mike and Meg

My sadness is always right under the surface; of course it bursts through in tears. It is the deep, intense grief of loosing the very person that has been there for me and me for you for the last 20 years of my life. It is hard to go on without you. I do know you are with me and it's so hard to be open to your spirit when clouded with the pain and sadness of my grief of missing you. Wishing you were here. Love Forever and Always,
Mom

Starry, Starry Night
Angel’s voices fill the air
Sounds of laughter everywhere
I cry in silence as the world goes by...

Starry, starry night
Envisioning what could have been
Now I’m left with emptiness
My hearts breaks when I think of what I’ve lost

But I know your there
Even though you’re not here with me
I suffer oh, so endlessly
And wonder why your life had to end

Starry, starry night
The heavens opened up their gates
They took you, no they could not wait
And when you left so did a part of me

How do I go on?
Wishing you are here with me
It will seem like an eternity
Until we are together once again

My dear Corrina Payge
My daughter and my closest friend
I never thought your life would end
I loved you every day of your life

I love you
My sweet Corrina Payge
And I always will…

My sweet daughter... how I miss you. I still long for answers and I am determined to find out why you died. I love you with all my heart and think about you every day. I know you are always with me.

You always expressed your love for family. You felt that family meant more to you than anything in the world!! You were always thinking about getting the chance to be with your family and spend time with your loved ones.That's what you wanted just to be with the ones you loved.Your family that's what meant the most to you... love you always,
                                  ~ mandy~

From the moment you entered onto this earth, you brought me joy. I used to tell you, "how wonderful life is, while you're in the world" and that's just how I felt. Oh baby, do I miss you with all my heart. I am the one that was truly blessed because I had the pleasure of being your mother for twenty wonderful years~ thank you Lord. {;'I';} (Here is a special butterfly symbolic of your spirit being free.)

~With Love, Corrina's Mom

My Beautiful niece,my friend Corrina "beana". Your Precious memories will live on within my heart and soul as long as I live. Thank-you love for all your inspirations,laughter,and fun you brought to our lives. I admired how you always stayed true to yourself. You always stood up for what you felt and believed. You were the Best big sister I have ever known!! I know you are now their guardian angel watching over them now.. Your strength and courage will Never be forgotten. Not a single day goes by that I don't think about you. "May you fly high with the angel's now, No more pain and suffering Sweetie, Till we meet again." Love,aunt mandy,stephen and cousin stephen and cant forget charlie,sadie,and pops....WE LOVE YOU XOXOXOXO

"I could not have known how painful it would be to lose a Grandchild until it happened to me. And now, in the wake of our families' terrible loss of Corrina Payge Layne; my eldest Grandchild, I will take comfort in cherishing precious memories of her smile and laughter, her artistic talents, love of family and friends and her brave fight to live.
  Live on, Corrina will !!!
  Always in our Hearts and Memories and sadly missed"
  Gramma