Robert Guido remarks at memorial mass for Aunt Emma
Our Lady of Fatima Church, Manorhaven, NY July 24, 2021


Good morning everyone. Thank you for being here to honor and celebrate the life of our beloved Aunt Emma.  Sincere thanks also to Monsignor Clerkin for extending me the privilege of offering these brief remarks. My intention is to build upon the remarks I previously made about Aunt Emma at her gravesite at the time of her burial last year. Those remarks were essentially a reflection on how Aunt Emma lived her life in a manner that was devoted to keeping God’s two greatest commandments. The first, that you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. And the second, that you shall love your neighbor as yourself. As to Aunt’s love of God, I recounted the evidence reflecting her unshakeable devotion to her Catholic faith that was ingrained in her by her mother, our beloved Grandma Guido. As to love of neighbor, my remarks recounted how her life, both personally and professionally, was one spent almost entirely in the love and service of others. In short, she was simply a totally selfless person, committed to serving the needs of others, generous to all: family, friends and strangers alike. I suspect there is not a person among us here today who did not experience or witness the measure of Aunt Emma’s help or generosity. Anyone interested in reading my complete remarks made at the burial , as well as more extensive accounts of Aunt Emma’s life and other tributes, may find them by accessing our memorial website at forevermissed.com.  
With those previous remarks in mind, it occurred to me that there is another one of God’s commandments that relates to Aunt Emma which seems appropriate to reflect on this morning, especially because it is the subject of the Gospel reading that Monsignor will present to us shortly. The reading is from the Gospel of John in a section that is referred to in scripture as the “Last Supper Discourses” in which Jesus, during the night before his Crucifixion, offered his final teachings and commandments to his Apostles. John tells us that just before the end of the of the Last Supper, Jesus gave the Apostles this final commandment: “Love one another as I love you.”  The reason those words struck a chord within me when planning this mass is because I believe that if Aunt Emma could speak with us today and offer her own last piece of advice to all of us, and especially her family, she might have said essentially say the same thing, “Love one another as I have loved you.”  Why? Because nothing was more important to Aunt Emma than her family and their happiness, which is why she spent her entire life showering us with unconditional love, striving always to improve our lives, and to and strengthen and permeate the bonds of love between all of us. There can be no doubt that she would want us to preserve and enhance those bonds and impart those same values to our children and to our children’s children and beyond.  And this message about family love seems to me to be an especially important reminder for all of us during these crazy times. We all know that every family has issues and suffers through disagreements, resentments, and petty jealousies that can arise from time to time. So did the Apostles! They, like each one of us, were possessed of their own individual faults and challenges as finite human beings. But in today’s polarized climate and culture the differences between us seem to be intensified, especially given our ability to widely and easily share our every thought and opinion through social media and the like, and this makes families even more susceptible to internal division and dissension. I believe Aunt Emma would want us to rise above that. Yes we can have differences of opinion, different beliefs, and advocate for different paths and outcomes. But I think her hope and her message to us today, in the light of today’s Gospel, would be that when we do engage in these exchanges that we temper them in way that always bears in mind that in the end we are family raised in love for each other, and despite our differences and the crazy world around us, we have to find a way to persevere as a family, and always, always stick together. 
In closing, I can’t help observing that it is now almost 25 years since I last stood at this very pulpit and had the privilege of offering the eulogy at the funeral mass for Grandma Guido who had died at the age of 95. During the course of that eulogy I made the following promise to Aunt Emma on behalf of the family: that while it was unlikely we could ever do for Aunt Emma what she did for us in terms of matching her financial generosity, we promised to do for her what she did for Grandma Guido in terms of looking after her, and being there to love and support her in whatever ways we could as time went on, and that she would never be alone.  I think each of us in our own way has been faithful to that promise. Perhaps today we can collectively make a new pledge, for the sake of Aunt Emma and preserving her legacy, that we will never forget her and always strive to love one another as she loved us. Thank you for everything Aunt, rest in peace. We love you always.   

Aunt Emma was such an important person to me in my childhood. We lived close to her and She did a lot with me. She taught me so many life lessons and truly cared. I saw her on a daily basis in the summer time when I would stay with Grandma Guido & go to Manorhaven Beach just about every day, tend the vegetables in Grandma’s backyard garden, make fresh delicious Italian food & visit with relatives from Italy who came to visit. Such a wonderful way to spend summer days as a kid! We kept in touch after I grew up & moved away and she was always a steady & caring presence in my life. Words can’t express enough how much Aunt Emma influenced me & helped me in life. So many fond memories and so much gratitude for her. Thank you from the “bottom of my heart”, as Grandma Guido used to say !

Robert Guido Remarks at Burial Service for Aunt Emma April 13, 2020

The Gospels teach us that when Jesus was asked which among all of God’s commandments was the greatest, he answered that there were two: The first, that you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. The second, that you shall love your neighbor as yourself. Keep these commandments, Jesus promised, and you will earn eternal life in heaven. While we understand that as finite human beings we cannot presume to know God’s thoughts or ways, it is my belief that we can stand here at this moment supremely confident and gratified that our beloved Aunt Emma, after a lifetime devoted to keeping those commandments, is reaping the reward of that promise. 
Aunt Emma was possessed of an unshakeable belief in, and love of God, the kind of child-like faith which Jesus himself taught is all we really need. The deepness of this belief and love was fostered by her mother, our beloved Grandma Guido. All of us remember that no one was more devoted to their Catholic faith, or practiced it more fully on a day to day basis than Grandma Guido. She made certain that same kind of devotion was ingrained in her four children, and each of them did not disappoint her. I suppose that only God knows the countless number of rosaries Aunt Emma prayed during the course of her life, the number of masses she regularly attended, the number of masses she had said for her deceased family members and others, and the time and treasure she gave to her parish churches, especially to Our Lady of Fatima in Manorhaven for more than 60 years.  As for love of neighbor, well, is their anyone out their among Aunt Emma’s family and friends who was not the beneficiary of some form of her help and generosity at some point during their life? Even her 27 years employed at the Port Washington Water District were spent in fierce devotion to the public, as she had a renowned reputation among her peers for going above and beyond the regular course of duty and for treating every customer with dignity and respect.  In short, her entire life was one spent primarily in the love and service of others, and this was exemplified first and foremost in what she did for her family. We all witnessed it, perhaps most especially at how she took care of Grandma and her needs on almost a daily basis right up until the moment she passed at the age of 95,and also of course, in her unending devotion to her 12 nieces and nephews to whom she simply just gave and gave throughout our lives starting from the day we were born. Each of us knows it well, we all have our individual stories to tell. All we could do in return was love her back, which is the only thing she ever really sought.  And it can’t go without mentioning that through all of this, throughout everything her entire life, Aunt Emma never once complained. Even on her worst days during these last few years when she was sick and suffering, she would never utter a word or let on. Why? Because she didn’t want to worry or bother us. That’s how and who she was. How blessed we were to have had her in our lives.
We love you Aunt, and we thank you for everything you did for us. Trusting in God’s promises, we now commend you to his mercy in the hope that your soul will live on forever in peace, and that we will one day be reunited with you in everlasting joy. Amen.  

Sincere thanks to Joanne Stuart for her reflection and to the Marshall family for their condolences. Aunt's involvement with the flight engineer retirees and their wives was certainly important part of life and she enjoyed not only the luncheons but other trips and events with friends from that group, and saved many photos to prove it. She also made good use of her flight privileges as a surviving spouse, travelling well into her late 80's before slowing down for health reasons. Aunt treasured her time and friendship with the American Airlines family.

Hello - I am probably an odd person to be contributing here but thought the family might enjoy knowing this. I am the daughter of a fellow Flight Engineer, John Marshall, who worked for years with Rita’s husband Nick at American Airlines. In today’s Newsday I recognized Rita’s name in the obituaries and it reminded me of meeting her a few times at the AA retiree luncheons held periodically at various nice restaurants on Long Island. My parents enjoyed those get togethers...good food, company, conversation and lots of laughs! My parents arranged a luncheon at least twice at their favorite restaurant, San Marco in Hauppauge, which everyone loved! Upon my mom’s passing, my dad was heartbroken and asked my sister and I to accompany him to the luncheons. We happily did. We met many wonderful and interesting people, amongst them your dear Aunt Emma. She was involved in arranging the gatherings every few months and would call to check who was attending. She was a special person in that she carried on with the luncheons after your uncle’s passing and in doing so brought much happiness to a multitude of people. I am sending condolences to all your family from the Marshall family. Know that there is an occasional heavenly gathering of American Airlines retirees and their spouses and your aunt is surely enjoying!!

One of my earliest memories of Aunt Emma was her buying me and Michael our first two-wheel bikes when were were little tikes living in Manorhaven. Another was her dropping me and Danny off at the movie theater in Manorhaven to see a movie (I think Mary Poppins). It was the first time either of us ever went to the movies by ourselves (no adults)! To be honest, We weren’t real happy about the movie because we thought it was for “little kids” haha, but the fact that she just dropped us off at the movie theater by ourselves was awesome, and unforgettable. Aunt Emma’s love and generosity were remarkable. Another fond memory I have of Aunt Emma was what a staunch Yankee fan she was. That was cool. But maybe the coolest thing ever was the bright red Mercedes convertible with “Rita” plates (not sure the model, maybe 280SL). That was VERY cool. She was my God Mother and was just a loving, generous, soul. And, as Bob pointed out, her devotion to her mother was extraordinary. No doubt, she made a positive impact on my life and so many others. I think of her now sitting at a dinner table with her mother and father and her brother Dan (dad) eating “little hats” or Lasagna and having a great time.

FRASCA, DAMARIDA (GUIDO)

The family of Damarida Frasca regretfully announces her passing on April 6, 2020, from covid-19, at the age of 92. Known as “Rita” or “Emma” by friends and co-workers, she will forever remain “Aunt Emma” to her extended loving family.  Pre-deceased by her husband Nicholas. Proud sister of her beloved brother, the late Police Commissioner Daniel Guido. Survived by her loving siblings, sister Theresa Geithman and her husband Hester of Newport News, Virginia, her brother Philip and his wife Karen Posillico of Surprise, Arizona, and her sister-in-law Jeanne Guido Sielalff of Dix Hills, New York. Also survived by 12 nieces and nephews and their spouses, and their 26 children. Our beloved Aunt Emma was born in 1928, to Martire and Lucia Guido, emigrants to America from nearby towns outside of Bari, Italy. These amazing parents raised Emma and her three siblings through the course of the Great Depression and Second World War, instilling in them the values of shared sacrifice, hard work, and the joy of a loving, tight-knit family. Initially raised in Manhattan and then the South Bronx, Emma graduated from Julia Richman High School in 1945. Although she aspired to become an accountant, Emma selflessly passed on attending college and instead went to work to support her family. She eventually earned enough money to provide her parents with a downpayment for the construction of a new home in the “country,” on a sandy lot in the beach town of Manorhaven, Long Island, where the family moved in 1952. Endowed by her mother with great faith and a devotion to the Blessed Mother, it was here that Emma began her nearly 60 years of support and devoted service as a parishioner at Our Lady of Fatima Roman Catholic Church.  Emma took local jobs with Republic Aviation and later with Filtors, Inc., where she worked as a clerk-typist. In 1960 she married Nicholas Frasca, a career employee and long-time flight engineer for American Airlines, and they moved into a nearby home on Port Washington’s “Terrace”, remaining close enough for Emma to continue to care for and support her parents and many extended family members living in and around Manorhaven. In 1970, Emma was hired as an office worker for the Port Washington Water District, where she would remain for the next 27 years, rising to the position of Office Manager in 1981. During her tenure, Emma earned a reputation and praise as a tireless and dedicated public servant, always willing to go out of her way to enhance the operations of the office and accommodate the needs of the public. Although Emma and Nick, who passed in 1987, were never blessed with children of their own, it was Emma’s 12 nieces and nephews who filled that void, and she lavished them with unconditional love and support, striving always to improve their lives, help them enjoy life and thrive, all of which she achieved in many different ways, and thankfully lived to see. She simultaneously served as the primary care giver for her mother, widowed since 1966, until her death 30 years later at the age of 95. This is whom our Aunt Emma was: a totally selfless person, committed to serving others, generous to all, without regard to herself.  After her retirement in 1998, at the age of 70, Emma eventually found it necessary to enter assisted living, and typically, of course, she thoroughly pre-planned it so as to avoid ever becoming a burden to her family. Even as she slowly declined, and gradually lost her independence, Emma never once complained, still finding happiness in small pleasures, especially the accomplishments of her nephews and nieces, and their children, and the love they showed her in return. During this time, her care and quality of life was greatly enhanced by her loyal and steadfast companion, Madelane, to whom the family owes a great debt of gratitude. Sadly Emma caught the virus early on in the pandemic, but we are grateful that she did not suffer and passed peacefully. Also, despite attendance being restricted to only a few family members, we are thankful that we were able to swiftly arrange her interment next to Nick in Knolls Cemetery in Port Washington. Trusting in God’s mercy and promises, in which she firmly believed, we take great comfort in the assurance that our beloved Aunt Emma continues to live on in everlasting joy and that we will one day see her again. A memorial mass celebrating her life will be held on Saturday, July 24, 2021, at 11:00 AM at Our Lady of Fatima R.C. Church in Manorhaven, New York.