I begin this chapter by saying that God has a reason and purpose for every individual on this earth and, as much as we would like to believe that we have a say in those purposes, we don't as it is to the liking and pleasure of our Creator that we are born with His sole purpose in mind. He is the Author of Life itself!  Additionally, no conception is a mistake as every zygote is a miracle of God in its very minute and humble entirety...and, there we have it... the beginning of all beginnings...the union of two cells that brought about the gift of  life... my precious son, Daniel Anthony Louise. 


I just want to continue here by saying that Daniel's conception possibly saved my life. And, more assuredly, it most probably did. Daniel's conception was not planned nor was it avoided. I had one beautiful little girl named Ariana Marie that brought me and everyone else around her joy just by looking into her big, blue, smiling eyes. When I found out that I was being served seconds, my life did a complete three-sixty. I had been suffering from a slow decline in my health from not eating...yes, I was engaging in a slow suicide because of my mind telling me that all I was was a tub of fat despite the fact that I was a size three on a five foot six frame and weighed only one-hundred and seventeen pounds. Although I was never formally diagnosed (when does one get diagnosed with anorexia nerverosa...at what point...on her deathbed I suppose), I knew deep in my mind that I was not well. However, this all changed because of Daniel. See, I believe that all of us are put on this earth for a reason...we all have a purpose to fulfill and Daniel's was largely fullfilled just by news of his existence within me. As I was on a mission to slowly end my life, Daniel's mission was to save it. Only God, in His infinite wisdom could have designed a path for me that would take me away from the illness in my mind. He knew that nothing could get me to eat as I had it in my head that I needed to be skinnier and skinnier thus sporting the thought of being a size two next...that is, right before news of the pregnacy. I can most solemnly assure you that nothing could have gotten me off that downward spiral-anorexia nervosa- but a pregnancy. God in his wisdom knew that I would never starve my child. One of the very first things that I did when I found out that I was pregnant with Daniel is go to a McDonald's drive-thru and allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted and, miraculously there was no guilt. Daniel, your work had already begun...your purpose of being here was already unfolding. I can honestly say that Daniel saved my life. I was a mommy for the second time on January 4th, 1992!