ForeverMissed
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You were the greatest chapter of my life and I will always love and miss you

December 30, 2019
Memories that can never be taken from me and will always be in my heart forever.. I would say that I lost my whole world when I lost you to suicide Daniel....I remember all the times that I had lost hope and felt so alone and just wanted to do something to help you but I didn't know what to do. As your mum I felt so hopeless and alone but if i hadda know then i woulda done anything....Then it happened, the thing i didn't even think possible...and my worst nightmare.... I lost You my Precious handsome sweet son and only child to Suicide and I know since that morning on the 19th October my life was never to be the same again....I wanna make you proud Dan and I know that everything happens for a reason and I guess If I can help Just one person through  losing you then I feel I have done and will keep doing you proud because of your book you were writing but didn't get to finish. Wanting other young people to know that something so simple as sitting round with your friends and smoking marijana
 just so that you can have a good time...You didn't realise at the time that your life was about to spiral downwards and take complete control of you......You then said if you had known what it was going to do to you then you would have never tried it in the first place.....And then you described it like a nightmare playing for life......(if anyone would like to read Dan's story or share it with anyone you can find it under (Dan's Writings) on this site...It was too late for Dan but maybe not for others ..This is DANS story, his feelings and just what he was going through on the leadup to taking his life......I only found it after his passing and as much as I thought I knew what he was going through well now i realize I wasn't even close and could never imagine just what Dan was really going through....even though 
I saw how depressed you were and the pain that you were going through..I saw all the signs of someone thinking of Suicide but didn't realise they were signs at the time.....Wish somehow i coulda known then what I know now.....What does a mum do when she is worried about her son...doesn't know where to go to get help or to even know what sorta help to look for.....If I spoke to others I guess was worried what people may say and think of Me if I had of told Someone how I was feeling at the time and what was happening when I didn't really understand myself or never thought that Daniel was even thinking Suicide.........And I just didn't know what to do....I'm sorry i didn't cause if i had known what i know now I think maybe you would still be here....I can wish anyway Daniel.....Even though i wasn't able to help you I know i went above and beyond motherly duties, even being your own personal taxi service.  With you getting me lost lol when trying to find parties that you were invited to and I know you knew I loved you so much.....And the best you gave to me is that I knew you loved me and your family so much and showed that just by the way you spoke with us and you loved nothing better than spending time with us...and your last letter you wrote to all of us including your friends.....My Sweet, Gentle, Sensitive, kind and beautiful son who would have done anything for your family and friends even if you were to get hurt in the end doing things you may not have otherwise.......Nothing was ever too much for you, even to be a protector for one of my friends who was scared because someone was hanging around her house so you said that you would stay the night and look after her and make sure nothing happens and I always remember your cheeky and  beautiful smile and the big hugs and kisses that you always gave me so freely except when your mates were around lol.......and that's why I know you didn't want to die, You just wanted to get rid of the pain that was driving your head insane...And mostly not feel so alone with what you were going through....But Dan I know that this world can be cruel and there are so many out there that judge without even finding out or asking what is happening....or even to ask if you were ok.....I know lots of your friends were affected by your passing....but i do know that they all loved you so much and in lots of different ways....and I think you would have been surprised if you felt that you were able to share with them what you were going through...But I know you were scared and worried about what people would think of you....You felt different but now that time is passing not so different to a lot of them who were going through the same things as you were.......And Suicide was the way that you thought would end your pain but not only did it end your pain it ended your life...Forever..Dreams and goals  just gone in a single second.....I often whether you thought that doing Suicide was  final...No more chances, way too late for you to maybe get a little more help... and mostly too late for all that were left behind after your passing over.....
So Dan I dedicate this to you....My son who I will love and miss for the rest of my life....At least Memories always last forever...and I will always love you..until I take my last breath xo

Dan's Story - Alot Of Regrets

December 14, 2019
A lot Of Regrets

I gotta lot of regrets with just life in general and if I could go back and change things, id change a few but if I had the choice to be anyone else in the world, rich or famous or be me, I'd be me cause I got a great family, great mates, a good job now and my plan with this book is to help kids not to make the same mistakes me and my friends or now enemies made.

See when you get into drugs you don’t even realize it slowly changes the person.  I know because it happened to me and a lot of other people.  People start to steal to get it, friends aren't friends for long.  They lie and try to deceive you, steal from you and these are the people that you think are really nice and go on holidays with, even hang out with them and work together and then they rip you off.  You live and learn but its best not to do drugs in the first place and avoid it all.  

Life's just so much clearer, the quality of your life is just so much better, you don't get into trouble with police much unless ur a violent drunk .

After starting drugs I got expelled from Warwick High School.  I started a tafe course in Information Technology and I was doing certificate 2 and I was a really good student in class and I wanted to get a job in IT.  The first module was operating a general computer.  I blitzed it.  I was really smart but as I was smoking I couldn't perform to the best of my ability or know what my full potential could be if I was drug free at the age of 15, but I wasn't as a teen.  You don’t even realize what its doing to you and some people never do and its sad what drugs do to people and that’s what kids don't realize all these people on drugs used to be kids once, they played with toys just like me and just like your kids and I just want to get across to them and you that kids grow to be adults, and parents cant watch them all the time.  Kids will always have their free will, that’s the greatest thing about this world.

After I hit the adult world I changed and made a lot of bad decisions with drugs and life in itself and you or your children never realize these things until you go down that track and if someone does it may be too late so if we do anything at all to kids the best possible thing to do is educate our kids on what they are actually getting themselves into when they take this road.  Well I've been down it and it's f.......d, friends soon turn against you they steal off you and if you fall down far enough down this endless well you may find that indeed you may turn into one of these scumbags, but the worst thing is you, yourself don’t realize this is happening to you.  Instead of you using the drug it's really using you and I don't hate these scumbags.  I infact feel really sorry for them, because once upon a time they were innocent kids, who had hopes and dreams and now all they got to look forward to is a life of money troubles, friends deserting them, job losses, jail and a life of misery and unhappiness.  You wouldn't want to wish that upon anyone, even if they did pick on you your whole life and unfortunately I've seen it happen to so many people that who were great mates and now they have nothing.  

It’s sad, it really is.  As a kid I’ll admit I don’t think this stuff even happened at all.  It's like a horror movie that's real and it plays for life - your life, but at the time you only think I'm getting high having a good time with mates and it's so much fun but you don't see what happens long term, and if you do you really just don't care but by then the drug has consumed you......

But back to what drugs did to me from the age of 15-17 when I was supposed to be learning but when a young mind is taking in so much of the drug you cant learn, you forget, get easily distracted, lose track of what your doing and after a while you just really don't care.  I was a bright kid to, I had only been smoking for not even a year full time and my interest in everything I loved disappeared.  By doing these things all my hopes and dreams just dripped down the drain.  If it happened to me it could happen to anyone.  

But I didn't care.  I didn't wanndo it and all I ended up doing was smoking heaps of pot.  And it did it to me.  It turned me into something I wasn't, it had taken over me and I still didn't even see it and it was right in front of my eyes.  Looking back it was unbelievable that something as simple as weed could do this to me but it was.  I thought I was six feet tall and bullet proof.  It was taking my dreams and hopes away in front of me and I just didn't care.  

So after I left my tafe IT course I enrolled at Assumption College, it was a pretty good school and I even got off drugs for a while when I was at school I started excelling at IT once again.  I was one of the top students and in IPT I even made a programme for an ATM.  I even got set up with job working for the council at the age of 16, and the job involved networking the council’s computers, and the pay was absolutely brilliant.  But for some reason I started getting stoned at school.  We had assignments due and id wait till they were just about due.  I copied the assignments off people.  Well I kept getting stoned and the job opportunity of a lifetime left, the last plane had gone and I missed it.......I'll never get another opportunity like that in my whole life.  My grades started to drop in all my subjects, I started to develop schizophrenia and I started to hear voices in my head.  I didn't understand what they were.   It first started when I was at Warwick High I was sitting at the table with my mates and these things started falling in front of my eyes.  They were like little see through spirals and hairs. (No one else could see them though)  I just ignored them though, but if I knew then what I know now I would have stopped the weed instantly because little did I know I was about to embark on a journey through insanity.  So it began I was smoking weed before school behind a building through a pipe.  That’s how it started every day before school. 


I got smashed as but then in classes, instead of doing the work I'd just chill and have fun in art.  I'd draw scare crows with signs saying' "No Feeding birds" and I’d just draw crazy stuff.  My marks went from A's to C's then to failing but I was so smashed I just didn't care, I just kept doodling away and that was just in art.  In my other subjects they went down too.  I was having trouble concentrating; I didn't want to work any more.  I just stopped doing my homework and that drove my grades into the ground.  But I didn't even notice.  See the drug was now using me instead of me using it, but I wasn't even using any bad drugs, it was just weed right?  Wrong look what it was doing to me and I didn't even notice or even care.  Just imagine if I was using heavy drugs.

I believe if you just have to try drugs do it after you graduate or better yet don't do them at all.....They change who you are and for the worse.  I went from A's and B's to D's and E's and then I didn't even graduate.  I left school to go smoke pot with my friends, so I did 2 whole years of school, started grade 12 and then left about a month into it and never went back.  How sad was I, and I so wished I did cause if I did,  it would of opened up so many more opportunities, and if I never started weed while at school it would of opened up even more good job skills, big money.  It’s so hard to find a job and when you finally do, its got shit pay, and worse hours.

I believe if I had never started drugs while at school I Just would have gone so further and would have fulfilled all my hopes and dreams.

Losing Daniel - My Story

December 15, 2019
Just thinking 13 years ago...I lost Daniel to Suicide.....I remember back to that morning ... which felt like my worse nightmare come true .....That would have to have been one of the worse days of my life..And honestly my first thought was that morning when I found my Son ..How can this happen to me....cause i don't know anyone it's happened to before....And then i started to think but could not think of anyone ....For the first time in my life I ...felt so hopeless and really alone...I've come along way since that day but to me it will always feel like Dan only went yesterday........

I know i will get through all of Dan's anniversarys, with support from my family and friends who are always here for me no matter what...and to Dan's friends that thought so highly of him...and knew what a beautiful person Dan was.....I'm so overwhelmed by the support, prayers,love, understanding, and beautiful heartfelt messages , from both family and friends. I could just not do this without...You...Most of you know who you are....Thank you to my friends who took the time to read Dan's story and to say what they said about my Son....

So proud because i know I did the best i can and loved him with everything I was capable of......I think that today will be quiet for me and my positive (I try to always have one) is that at least my sweet son Dan can rest in peace and is no longer tormented by his illness....it makes me smile to know you are no longer in pain but it also hurts more than anything to have love and lost you....

But at least I got to have and love you for 20 beautiful, funny, best, not sure if i would live to see another day, bad didn't know what to do and wouldn't swap it for the world...The years and memories with you Dan...Some families aren't so lucky. They don't even get the time I did....and again I couldn't imagine and my heart goes out to them.... but I think i was so blessed and lucky to have spent all the years I did with you my sweet son......
Daniel today I will try and just smile everytime I think of you and I know that I will be ok although can't stop being really sad as well :-(.....
We are losing too many of our kids and older people as well to suicide and if by what I write helps someone to know they are not alone....That is my only concern....Talk more to your family..Tell them that you love them and..Ask if they're ok and don't take them for granted cause one day the same situation that happened to me might just happen to you or someone else you know..........

Much love and thank you from my heart...Means more than you ever know...xo


An extract taken from the book my son Daniel started to write about his experiences.

December 15, 2019
My Experiences by Daniel Coorey
“So in my room the flickers were back, now by this time I thought  Well I even saw some one run over the back fence, but only I had seen him or her jump the fences, so was I going crazy.  Another day passed as more confusion spun through my head, now it was day time and then I heard what sounded like the roof was getting moved again. And I could see the roof boards getting pushed down again.  Well mum had gone to work and my step dad wad out doing trade( fitting & turning,) so I watched the roof and now I could hear footsteps in the attic, some one was really in there and now im going to catch them in the act. (I figured after goin up the first time didn't think they would leave this time, so once again as quick and as quietly as I could I grabbed the chair gently put it on the floor.  I lifted the man hole cover.  See this was going to be where I finally see who they are, at last.   So I did a quick chin-up and got up there, and as I glanced round the attic, no one was there agin, but I was poitive I heard some one.  Maybe I gotta go look a bit more at the chimney.  So I got out of the roof, went outside and climbed on to the roof and then made my way to the chimney with my old trusty torch.  I studied the chimney a bit and it occurred to me the loose brick, that would be the perfect size for some one to fit perfectly, so I shone the torch in and i could see nothing.  Now I could hear shhh shhh again, you dont want him to hear us, and it was coming from at the bottom of the chimney but even with the torch I could not see down, but what if they couldnt blow up the tank or it would have blown them up too.  So I got to thinking what if they were in a big brick chimney and what if there were gas lines that passed through it cause if there are, Im stuffed and they'll be safe from an explosion.

Then I thought of some thing what if they arent really there.  Well I didn't wanna stay at my house.  The paranoia of people trying to blow me up again, cause i head felt safe before because I heard the lighters for over a month but nothing had been blown up.  But now they got a way of surviving and still getting rid of me, and taking a huge chunk out of my house.

So I decided to go to Johnie's these  boyz are pretty hard maybe they can help me with my problem.  So I told my mates about my cousin and his best friend were trying to blow me up and I told them everything.

   I was so convinced I saw someone.  I was getting a bit worried bout people trying to blow me up and people in the house. Unfortunately I never had any proof that there was someone out there.. I never even found them or seen them.

It started off making me angry when people are in my roof laughing at me as I would try to sleep.  I,d run outside and tell them to come and fight me and when there was no reply I gave them a count from 30 to come out but no one came.  So standing in the back yard counting again this time back from 30 burrin' up for a blue.  after I reached 0 no one came and well I began to grow very wary of these people that mocked me at I slept and laughed at me, and dropped feathers on me to piss me off.  At first I was scared even petrified, but that soon turned to anger.

So as I went to school I began to grow bitter at my friends and my mate Tyson kept asken me “Whats wrong?” and I'd reply ”nothing”and he just kept askin me and I was getting more annoyed.  A week after that I end up given up school.  I just didn't want to go any more. 

Daniel's Cover letter to be a Mental Health Worker

December 15, 2019
Hey mum this is a cover letter I wrote, I'm at mission, well here it is......

A while back I had a mental illness and I went to the hospital and stayed there for a while, while there I made some new friends, played games, listened to music, watched my shows in the morning and did a bit of art, I just made the most out of being in hospital. You manage to save money while the pressures of life really aren’t on you, and yes I know everyone’s got problems but it's really depends on weather you want to realize the problem and what you want to do with it  which will depend on if you get better and how long it will take.
It's always fun meeting new and interesting people with different sorts of talents, but if you don't have talents why not get one why not get one, maybe you could get a musical instrument, maybe you like art or you could even be a novel writer and you may not even know it. You should always try new things because you never know something you've never done before could be the most fun thing you've ever done. There always something for everyone in this world you just have to explore different paths and find out what you specialize in.
It's always better going threw life doing what you want not what some one else wants you to do, You'd be a lot happier doing something you enjoy rather then what others want you to do. I guess in this world you really have to think of the bright side of things because if your always negative no matter where you go or what you do things will always seem the same and generally it's that your always unhappy or you've got so many problems that you start blaming others for your own misfortune. Around the world even here in Australia there are a lot people less fortunate then us, but we don't care as long as it's going good for us. It doesn’t overly worry us maybe we don't even realize that even with natural disasters hitting cities there are still people over in the world vision countries are still worse off. You need something to keep your mind active and always try to do something constructive weather it's something to help train your talents or just something to keep your mind going.
A good mind doing nothing is really a waste but alas if you don't really don't want to use your brain no ones going to force you, but really when you think about it the only person that effects is you.
In having been around mental illnesses, having had problems myself. I have grown a passion for wanting to help these kids to try to help them to try to understand a bit better about what their going through. I guess just having someone to talk to having gone through a mental illness  is a really good thing, someone that's just like you that enjoys having a good time and it's not all about that you just have to get better, you've got to have fun as well or I’ve seemed to notice when there's no fun the kids are just depressed and yes the nurses give them activities to do, but half the time it seems that the kids don't even want to try them but if there forced they complain and say there unfairly treated. Then if the kids happen to want a musical instrument they can play it when they get bored, while building their talents so when they do leave they've picked up something along the way.
I believe that having the qualifications for being a mental health worker is a great asset but the kids having someone who’s been though something similar, someone who won't judge them and take them for who they are. I just want to help give them more of an understanding into the mental illness world while they can just have a good friend to talk to, someone to just chill out with and do fun things from meditation in a room with nice peaceful relaxing music to having a game of pool. Well everybody needs a good friend some one you can just relate to, someone you feel doesn’t put pressure on you, someone who lets you say what you want and doesn’t care what you say and i'll probably have crazier stories then them. Hope you like it....



Daniels Story - My Rainbow Lorikeet Albert

December 15, 2019
My Rainbow Lorikeet Albert

When I was little I was walking along and I found what looked like a little grey furball.  It was after a big storm, so I picked it up and it had two gorgeous little eyes and a cute little beak.  I took him home and me and my mother got some bird feeding mixture, we hand fed it and before I knew it started to grow green feathers, then blue's and reds.  It grew into a rainbow lorikeet.  So Albert and I, we'd go to the video shop, he'd sit on my shoulder and I loved him heaps.  On our way one day he flew off my shoulder and on to the roof and we called him, but he wouldn't come down.  I called him so did my mum, then I put out my finger and called his name and he came down and landed on it.  I was so happy.  Then one other day he flew up onto a powerline .  I put out my finger and called him and he came back.  

Then unfortunate one day he flew off again and I thought if I returned the videos he'd still be there.  I ran back but he wasn't There.  Maybe the other birds got him but I was so sad when he wasn't there.  I looked but alas I could never find him but I know one day I'll see him again but till then I luv him so much.

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