Hey girl,
Just wanted to sit with you for a bit.  I REALLY wish I could come here and have some good news to share with you but I don't, in fact life kind of sucks right now. It doesn't help that it's cold weather and the snow is on it's way. Ugh!!! I feel like I'm always a bummer when I come visit you but I really miss your sense of humor and sass! You are definitely one of a kind!! I'm really surprised how much I miss Mom considering I knew it was coming and she was so ready. I guess she was more ready than I was! Give her a big hug for me okay? and Dad too! Well, I have to go get some stuff done. Luv and miss ya MUCH!!! xoxo Nanc

Happy Birthday, Dar. Now that I've changed your background to Fall scenery, it will likely snow tomorrow, right? Whether or not I hop on here to update the theme or music or leave a message, I know that you know that I think of you often and every day. That will never change. Regardless of the differing beliefs about what happens after death, I'm hoping somehow you are with Mom and Dad. One thing I DO know, is that your spirit lingered here for a bit. I caught ya! and I have PROOF! I hope you are beaming with joy watching everyone as they have grown through the years... Kim, John, Amy, Kristel, and Jess, Curt and Nat, Addison and Millie, Madi and Bray, Marlee, Hailey and Tyler...and now Oliver! We all miss you and wish you were here!

Hey girl, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!  GOD, I miss you!!!! I wish I knew what you all do up there in Heaven. Is it like living life but perfectly? I truly believe Mom is there with you already and I bet you are having a beautiful birthday with Mom and Dad. I"m at work right now so I can"t chat long also I'm kind of an emotional wreck so I had better go for now. I just wanted to say Happy Birthday and I love and miss you so much!!! Sending you BIG hugs and much love!!!! XOXO Nanc

Hey girl, well where do I begin? I can't believe it's been 13 years!!! Oh how I miss you!! I don't know whose right on heaven or sleeping but I want to believe that Mom is already there with you, Dad, Freeman and many others.  What an awesome family reunion you must be having!! Give Mom and Dad a BIG hug for me!!! Hey, Just throwing this out there... I would love a "visit" sometime!! 
I hope you know that you are always remembered and missed more than I can express!! Xoxo Nanc

Hi mom, 13 years, it’s been a long time; a long time of missing you, a long time of wishing you were here for all the good things (and all the bad because I don’t believe any of it would’ve happened the way it did if you were still here), a long time of remembering all the good things, and a long time of remembering the bad. What I have now, 13 years later is an understanding that I don’t know your side or your perspective of why you made certain decisions for me(us) growing up, a better understanding of you as a mom and a nana, and a new appreciation for who you were as a person, a woman and what you stood for. I accept you for it all. I wish I could have told you while you were still here but I didn’t have the perspective then, I do now, or at least a little better. This is probably the only year I will be excited for today because TODAY you have Gram with you. And I left her with a picture of your great grandson to show you. My goal is to be a Mimi with hints of you, and Gram, and Grammy Blanche. I love you mom more than I ever let you know in life.❤️

Hi mom, I got to spend precious time with Grammy Connie yesterday morning. I laid with her and rubbed her back and brushed her hair. I told her all the things that were on my heart, especially about being a new Mimi and how special it is. Now that I know what that feels like, I thanked her for being my Grammy and told her it was okay to go be with you and “the others” when she was ready. I think she heard you in my voice and knew “all her children” had been to see her before she left. So, on my first grandparents day and her last, we shared a very special time. I hope I can be to Oliver what she was to me. I’m so glad that she has you back now, her heartache must have been immense and now it’s over and she’s at peace. I love you mom and Grammy… you have LOTS of catching up to do!

Hey girl, not sure what to say. I don't know how long mom has and im hoping you, Dad and Uncle Freeman are waiting to embrace and welcome her as soon as she joins you. My heart hurts watching this whole process, I feel so helpless. I really wish one of these days I could write on here and share some happy news but again its not this time. So, I just wanted to hang with you for a bit. Just know you are missed and never forgotten!!! Luv & miss ya much!!!! Xoxo Nanc

Congratulations, Great Grammy!
Oliver Damien Howard was born 8/4/2023 at 3:45pm and was 6lbs 12oz, 21 inches. Natalie did an amazing job! She took my breath away with how she handled it all. Her husband, Loren, was with her the whole time and did exactly what she needs him to do. They are already wonderful parents. And Oliver, Ollie, is just perfect! Every inch of him. Through Natalie’s whole pregnancy, when I thought of you, I could understand you better. And now that he is here, I understand you even more. I know I don’t have to say I love you cuz it’s an unspoken feeling that mothers and their children (especially daughters) understand but dammit, do I miss you and wish you were here for this.

Hey girl, I know I it has been a REALLY long time since I've written on here. But you know how often I think of you! I was waiting to be able to write something great, positive and amazing!! Yeah, see?? That's why it's been so long!! I feel like I'm always a bummer when I talk to you here and I wanted it to be different but yup, not going to be this time either!! I really miss you!!! I never gained back my light heartedness, silliness, and joy since you left. Things are just so different now!! We've been trying to get together a little more often lately and it's nice but again...... the absence of you is heatbreaking!!!!  We ALL miss you so much! It's weird how sometimes the memories make me smile and other times they make me cry!! I'm trying really hard to be thankful for all the times we had and not resentful that we didn't have more time! Anyway, I just wanted to come say "Hi" and remind you that you are NOT forgotten!! I luv & miss ya MUCH!!!! xoxo Nanc

Hey, Dar, I finally got around to changing your background from the winter scene to some cheerful spring flowers. I wish I could have a two-way chat with you...even when I didn't take your advice, it was always eye-opening to get your take on something. I miss that and I miss your sass. The kids know that you send butterflies to say Hi to us. Tyler was quite excited, yet matter-of-fact, to tell me that he had seen two Dar butterflies when spring finally hit. I love that they know you...in their own way, at least. Well, I think I should get my act together and figure out what to do with your foundation. It never grew like we had originally envisioned, but that's mostly because I'm not able to commit a lot of time, and I have a hard time delegating. Excuses, excuses, I know. I'll have to either do better or pass the baton, I guess. I miss you. You are remembered each and every day ~ Never forgotten. XOXOXO "B"

Happy New Year, Dar. Time keeps ticking by...the kids are growing so fast, and so much has changed. I don't know exactly what the afterlife is like, but it just seems unfair that you wouldn't be able to see our lives as they go on, so I have my own take - that part of Heaven is just that. I don't have the focus right now to write anything catchy or inspirational, and I know it has been forever since I posted pics of the kids, but you must know that you are remembered always...whether it's a silly memory, a song, a phrase...you remain the face to greet me each time I get on my computer, I lovingly wear your necklace each day...and would be lost without my Dar ring. For the most part our sadness and grief has transitioned into warm thoughts and fond memories. XOXO "B"

Hi mom, I don’t visit here as much as I used to but that’s not to say that you are far from my thoughts. In fact, quite to the contrary. I have daily talks with you in my head, tell you what’s going on and ask for guidance. Recently, Natalie has found out she’s going to be a mama; yes, you will be a great grandmother! I had an urge to send Grammy Connie a card back in October explaining how much she means to me and how my childhood memories of her are still so vivid. After Natalie told us of the baby, it occurred to me that I was sending Grammy the card right around when Natalie conceived. Was that you sending me the “grandma” feels? She found out about a month later. I do believe I have a picture of Natalie when she may be only 13 days pregnant. I will be looking for you signs and your guidance through this too - I just wish you were here for it all but somehow I think you may already be talking with that precious baby. Congratulations on your first great grand baby! I love you mom ❤️

My Beloved Dar...I stumbled upon this song recently and it speaks my heart...it reminds me of the time we spent together before you passed...I didn't have the words to fill the silence and felt inadequate or like I was lacking what might have helped in those moments, but when I come here...I get this moment with you Forever Now..maybe all that we have is this moment...Forever Now. Loving and Missing You...Forever Now. "B"

Happy Birthday!!!!  God knows you are missed terribly!!!  "B" and I are hoping to get together and come visit you and Dad's spot. Sorry I haven't made it there to take care and pretty it up much but it's not because I haven't thought of you and wanted to, it's just life is kind of hard to take right now. Enough of that though..... it's your birthday and it's all about you!!!! :) :)  I hope you're dancing in the sky!!! I love you and miss you MUCH!!! xoxo Nanc

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Remembering and missing you each and every day even if I don't hop on your site to leave a note. I know you know my thoughts so I won't ramble. XOXOXO "B

Hey girl, I know it's been a long time since I've written to you but you know I think of you every day!! I could NEVER forget you nor would I want to!! I can't believe today makes 12 years!! In some ways it feels like it's been forever and other ways its doesn't seem like it can be 12 years. Things just aren't the same without you!! I know I'm not the only one that feels this way!! Just know you are loved and missed and will NEVER be forgotten!!! Xoxo Nanc

Hi Dar. You were taken from all of us that loved you way too soon. Love, Uncle, Dick.

Hey, Dar. Today marks 12 very long years missing you each and every day. The pain of your passing has subsided but it still never "feels right" that you're not here with your wit and sass, love and care. This whole afterlife thing has me befuddled, but I pray that part of God's plan is that your soul lives on and that you do get to look over and look upon the lives of your loved ones. Still missing you and never forgetting you... XOXOXO "B

Hey there! Sorry I left you in the depths of winter for so long, but actually, we can't be sure ourselves that the snow is gone for good...yet! Thanks for visiting my dreams last week...two visits! So much is going on in this world right now, it's downright frightening! I often think about what your take would be on things. I hope you have welcomed Jim with open arms. Now that he's free of his earthly troubles, I'm sure he could use a few laughs. Truth be told, I'm struggling with that one. Even though I don't visit here nearly as often as I should, I think of you and miss you every stinking day. So much has gone on since you left, I sure hope you get to "watch" from wherever you are. I miss you, My Sidekick! XOXO B"

Hey girl, I know it has been a looooong time since I've written on here. I come here and "hang out" with you and listen to your tunes but I haven't written because first off I feel like I say the same thing each time and because I wanted it to be a positive upbeat post and I haven't felt upbeat for a while. But I do miss "talking" to you on here so here I am. Ugh!!! So another accident and what a hassle it has become!! I sure could use your attitude and spunk to get things set up and this chick straightened out!!! I'm trying to keep in mind that I work for the church so I don't freak out on her, so far I have but it's close!!! Anyway, I'm trying real hard to keep sane until camp opens and I can have my own place again and I need sunshine!!!!!! God, I miss you!!!!  I hung out with Jess and the kids the other day and it was so awesome!!! I haven't kept in touch with Kim, Aim and Mikey anywhere near like I should and want to but I hope with the nicer weather I will feel more energy and enthusiasm for life, then I'll visit. So, not much new happening here, just counting the days until camp opens up again....by the way it's 59 days!!!! :) I miss doing your walk so much!!!! Somehow that made me feel better and closer to you so I have really missed planning and doing it. Damn covid has really messed life up....in every way!!! But things are getting back to "normal", whatever that is!! Haha. I wish that you were still here and I could have a girls time at the camp, you would have loved it there!!! As much as we loved having a little fire in your back yard, you would love it at my happy place!! I hope to have a cookout and fire with "B", Kristel and as many of your family that wants to come to try to reconnect again. You definitely were the glue that held us together! Although I think about you numerous times a day, every day, its been nice to "talk" to you again on here. I sure do miss you!! I would LOVE a "visit" HINT HINT!!!! I suppose I should go and get ready for the kiddos. I'll be back and I won't wait so long to "chat" with you, okay? Luv & miss ya MUCH!!! xoxo Nanc

Hey, Dar. We got our 1st snow last night. Not loving it but it was bound to come at some point. Thought I might work some today but the Registry's website is giving me an access error. Blah. Spending more time than reasonable just trying to come up with a meeting schedule for the Budget Committee...double blah! I need to give that up and let someone else deal with the headache. I know I haven't posted pics of the kids thru the years...I forget and time flies by... they are growing so fast! Hailey Darlene is 10 and Tyler is 8. Such good kids! You'd love them! And they love you...inasmuch as they can, considering they've never met you...but they know about you and what a special person you were to all of us. I think of you and miss you every day. XOXO "B

Hey "Al"- "B" here...tried to leave a message for you on your birthday but was having issues with computer compatibility. Seems the universe would prefer that I update my computer and ditch "ol' reliable". Digging my heels in and standing my ground, for now at least. Anyway, regardless of whether I leave a message on here, you KNOW I think of you every day. While I haven't "moved on" I have learned to move forward. Kristel texted me the other night...the kids were asking about how old you'd be if you were still here. I love that you are an integral part of the family to them even though they never met you. You are lovingly remembered and always missed. Happy Belated Birthday. "B

Well, that was crazy!!! My computer and phone have not been letting me get on this site. But..... I finally got through and here I am!!!  Happy Birthday!! I think it's more of a present for me than you that I finally was able to get here!!! Anyway..... Happy heavenly birthday!!!  I really miss you!!!! I don't know if you celebrate there but if you do, I bet it's amazing!! Although I'm sure every day is amazing!! I really want to do something special for your birthday but it's a Tuesday and everyone is working and I'll have to go back to work later. I really miss doing your walk too. That helped me feel more connected I think. I hope we can resume the walks next year. Just know that even if I'm not on here...i am always thinking of you!!! I will NEVER forget you and how very special you are!!!  Luv & miss ya MUCH!!!!! Xoxo. Nanc

11 years...some days it seems an eternity since we were together...other times it doesn't seem possible that you've been gone that long. At this time 11 years ago I was making calls to let family and friends know that your struggles were done and that God had blessed you with a peaceful passing. I clutch that thought like a lifeline when missing you drags me to a dark place. Things could have easily ended with you in a car accident suffering and alone over an embankment in some remote town in Vermont. And so, I take comfort in God's gift of a peaceful passing surrounded by those who loved you so dearly. I remember you every day and talk of you often. I will love and miss you till I, too, breathe my last breath. XOXOXO "B   

Hey girl!! I know it's been a long time since I've written here but you know I think, remember and talk to you every day even though it's not here. It was an emotional werkend!! Uncle Freeman is no longer with us, wherever he is.... sleeping in Christ or with you all already I don't know but you do. So, if he's there... give him a hug from me and Mom. I miss you so much still. At times it is there, in the background but I can deal and other times it still takes my breath away!! Xoxo. I didn't do half of what I wanted to do this summer and camp will be closing soon. Yeah, I'm pretty bummed!! Anyway, I just wanted to hang with you for a while. I hope to get to the cemetery again and beautify it for you, Dad and Freeman!! Luv&miss ya MUCH!!!! Xoxo Nanc

Hey girl, Well, camp has opened!!! and I am so excited!!!  I so wish you were here to enjoy it with me!!! I would love to have us all get together there and have a fire and drinks and just be crazy!! I am hoping now that people have gotten shots and things have opened up, that I can have some cookouts, and just hanging out times there. Well, kids will be here any time now so I have to go but I'll be back soon. Luv & miss ya MUCH!!!! xoxo Nanc

Hey girl, I know I haven't written for a bit but sometimes I just don't know what to say or how to put it into words. But you know I'm always thinking about you!!! Like now, not sure what to say but I needed to be here. So I'm going to listen to your tunes and hang with you for a bit! God I miss you!!!!! Luv ya MUCH!!! xoxo nanc

Hey girl. Happy Easter!!! I often wonder what it's like in Heaven. What do you do? Do you celebrate holidays? Or is every day a celebration?  What ever it's like...whatever you do...I wish I could be and do it with you!!!  I miss you!!! I hope you know, you are never, ever forgotten!!! Xoxoxo Nanc

Hey girl, Another week begins!! Only about 40 more days until camp opens. I can't wait!!! I NEED sunshine and water and some peace!!! I am kind of conflicted about it because I see Mom getting smaller, frailer and more tired. I kind of feel like I'm abandoning her but I need this place and this time for me....I'll just have to visit her more regularly than last year. Sometimes I wonder how long before she's with you and not us anymore. It kills me to see her each day just get less herself but I wouldn't want to not be with her either. See?? I'm a mess!! I just pray she likes life until she's not here anymore. Anyway, enough of that!!! By the way...... I'm still waiting....I really could use a visit!!! Well, I suppose I should go now. I'll be back soon. Luv & miss ya MUCH!!!! xoxo Nanc

Hey, Dar, it's Me, B. I don't write often but think of you always. I had a few moments of quiet and was able to fix Nanni's song. I love it! Hailey and Tyler have grown so much and they each have their own phones now. Tyler helped me select your background scenery and began looking at all the pics in the Gallery while Hailey began reading Your Life and all the Tributes that have been left through the years. They have "known you" since Day 1. They know that you are with God in Heaven watching over us and keeping and caring for all our loved ones who have died...pets as well as people... You are Not Forgotten...ever. XOXO "B

Hey girl. "B" did it!!!!!  This is the song!!! We are going to tweak it a bit and try to get rid of the talking before and after and not so much of a pause before it replays. But this is it!!!!  sorry to say this is exactly how I feel but it is.... I'm kinda a mess!!!! But I love this song and needed to share it with you. Thanks "B"!!!! You DID make me smile and thanks for being there for me!!!!
Xoxo nanc

Hey Dar, nope I didnt forget.... I just couldn't get that song on here for you but "B" said she'd help me. So, I hope to be back soon with the song. It's not peppy but it hits home with me!! Be back soon...in the meantime, just know I'm thinking of you and miss you!! Xoxo nanc

Hey girl, I heard a new song that REALLY hits home right now!!! I'm going to try to upload and share it here a little later. Rough days lately but I'm hanging in there!!! Keep looking out for me, okay.  I'll be back hopefully with that song! Luv & miss ya much!!!! Nanc

Hey girl, Barb and I hung out for a bit today and had a nice walk. We looked through some pictures at Barb's today too.  I love looking at the old pictures and it made me smile to remember all the good times but now as I sit here I am hit with the devastating feeling of your absence. God I miss you!!! I'm So glad the weather is getting better before I totally lost it!! I'm in one of those moods where nothing seems right. I don't know how to get out of this feeling. Anyway, I just wanted to hang with you for a bit. Keep looking out for me, okay? Luv ya & miss ya MUCH!!!! xoxo nanc

Hey girl, just thought I would say hey and hang with you for a bit. It's beautiful out today and it reminds me of the days we would hit the road with music blasting and the windows down. I can't wait to plant something at camp in memory of you and Nan, probably a butterfly bush. And I'm going to try improving my lawn and a vegetable garden. I can't wait!!! I also want to really spruce up yours and Dad's spot!! Lots to do this spring and I'm looking forward to it!! As always.... You are thought of each and every day, even if I don't write. Luv ya and I miss ya MUCH!!!! xoxo Nanc

Hey Dar, I know I haven't chatted here with you for a bit but you know I'm always thinking of you. It was a crazy week with school vacation and I wanted to have something positive to say here. So, I got some time off on Wednesday and it was nice out so I went to camp. It was great being there even if it was to shovel snow. I can't wait to be there again but I will miss Nan!!!  She always had a kind word, a hug and a smile to greet me!! But I'm sure you are enjoying her company. I'm glad!! Tomorrow is March.... So the real countdown will begin!!! Well, I'm going to go to church and then go work and hang with B ....As always, we miss you!! Luv ya!!!! Xoxo nanc

Hey girl, Yup, me again!!! :) I don't really have anything new to say, I just wanted to say Hi and hang with you for a bit before the kids arrive. I think it's going to be a long day!!! I already feel caged and the day hasn't even begun!! Not a good sign. Well, I suppose I should go get ready for the kiddos. I'll chat with you later. xoxo Nanc

Hey girl, Good morning!!!  and. Happy Valentine's Day!!!! Just know you are loved and are never forgotten!!! Oh yeah..... By the way.... I'm still waiting for a vist!!! :)
Xoxo nanc

Hey girl, Well today was a bust!!! I felt like I needed to "feel" you so I drove to the cemetery and was totally bummed that it was all snowed in and I couldn't get to you. I know you are not there but we spent so much time there together cleaning and chatting that I thought I may "feel" you there. So here I am "chatting" with you instead. Thank God for this site!!!  "B" sent me a video of 2 old ladies dancing around in their kitchen and singing into a wooden spoon and it made me laugh and cry. I laughed because I remember the times we actually did that to Jumping Jack Flash and many other songs and it made me cry because we can't do it again. God, I'm a mess!! BLAH!!! Sorry, I'll be fine...I just really miss you!! So, if you could come visit that would be awesome!!!!! Keep looking out for me, okay? luv & miss ya MUCH Nanc

Hey girl, It's Friday.....Thank God!! I hate that I feel like I'm just counting off the days instead of looking forward to them and enjoying them. This winter has really been hard!! But it's February so I'm going to make it!! :) Well, I guess I should go make muffins for the kids for breakfast. They're going to be wound up today because of Valentines Day. Ugh!!!  Wish me luck!! :) I'll be back!!! Luv & miss ya MUCH!!! xoxo Nanc

Hey girl, it's friday!!!!!  This week was much better than last week and i've noticed it's not as dark when I get done work!!! I have to notice and remind myself of these things to keep me going. It's about 90 more days until my happy place opens!!! Not that I'm counting or anything!!! :) ;)  I can't wait to be out in the open, around people, water, sunshine!!!! This has been a really hard winter with missing you and the isolation! But, I'm going to make it...hopefully with a smile still in place!!! Well, I should go now. I'll be back..... Luv & miss ya MUCH!!! xoxo nanc

Good morning!!! I was going to come visit you last week but it was the week from HELL and I wanted to wait until I could visit with a better attitude. So, I survived last week and although it was a lot to deal with, yes, it could have been worse!! See?? Better attitude!! :) I hate coming to visit and just complaining but I guess that's no surprise to you... you always did have to nudge me through the winter. Anyway.... I'm here all day with the kiddos...snow day!!! So, I suppose I should go but I'll come back later and listen to tunes with you and chat. I hope you know how very much you are missed!!! xoxoxo nanc 

Hey girl, It was a rough day today!!! Still January and I feel like i'm going to go crazy!!! I just keep telling myself I can make it through this winter!! I don't want to sit here and complain so I'm just going to enjoy "being with you" and listen to some tunes. God I miss you!!!!!  Thinking of you always!!!! xoxo nanc

Hey girl, Just wanted to say Hi. Not much time this morning..... I have a kid that shows up at the dot of 6:30. So much for my alone time here. Anyway, just needed to hang with you for a minute! Gotta go get ready for my kiddo, I'll be back!! Xoxo nanc

Hey girl, yup!! Me again!! Just need to hang with you for a bit. Getting ready for church and that's not even the same anymore!! Ugh!!! This is such a crazy place now. I know a lot of how I'm feeling is probably the winter blues ...  I NEED sunshine and water!!! And a visit from you!!!! I'm doing the count down to camp opening!!! I know I shouldn't wish away the days but you know how I hate winter. Anyway, just wanted to pop in and visit. Love & miss ya SO MUCH!!! XOXO nanc

Hey Dar, nothing new here really just needed to say hi and "be" with you for a bit. Some days the hole you left in my life and heart when you left are sooo big and consuming that I struggle to get through the day other times I can think of you and talk about you and smile. Yeah, I know, I sound like a crazy person but we knew that already, right!! :)  I miss you!!!! Keep looking out for me, I need it!!  Luv& miss ya MUCH. Xoxo nanc

Hey girl, yup, me again!! Dear God, this is going to be a loooong winter!!!! I already feel like a caged animal and it hasn't really even begun!! Thank goodness I have here to come to or I think I might lose it!! You remember how I was in the winter, right?? Well, add in Covid!!!! Yeah, things are not going to go well!! Sorry for the rant!! Just need to sit here and be with you for a while, okay?  Keep looking out for me, okay? I miss you so much!!!! Xoxo nanc

Hey girl, Happy New Year!!! Not much to say right now except .....  I miss you!!! Just needed to hang with you for a bit and let you know... You are not forgotten!!! 
xoxo  nanc

Hey girl, well you have another person to greet ..... Uncle Harold must be so happy to be with Jesus!!  Had a good day today looking for thrift store clothes that reminded me of you. B and I found a few things, we were thinking of you as we shopped. You are missed more than you could even have imagined!! Still hoping you'll visit me!!! Hint. Hint!!! Luv & miss ya MUCH xoxo nanc

Merry Christmas Dar.  Thinking of you and your whole family.  It’s hard for them to move on without their ‘glue’. But they are doing a great job in your honor. Always, Mrs B.