UPDATE ON JUNE 14, 2021...
On Saturday, November 6, 2021 at 11:00 AM we will be having a service for dad at Friendship Village of the South Hills (1290 Boyce Road, Upper St. Clair, PA 15241). The service will be followed by a cookie/coffee reception. The internment of dad's ashes will happen on the following Monday in a family-only ceremony at the National Cemetery of the Alleghenies.
Our dad loved the phrase
carpe diem. It’s generally translated as “seize the day” and was written by the Roman poet Horace in 23 B.C. Not only did he love it, he lived it—so much so that he died minutes before midnight. To the end, he seized the entirety of each day.
Dave was born in 1928 to Charlotte and Lester. Lester had grown up on a farm in Dayton, Ohio and instilled a love of plants and gardening in his children that Dave and his sister Martha cultivated throughout their lives. After several moves, the family settled in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and Dave graduated from Mt. Lebanon High School. After high school, he studied metallurgical engineering at Carnegie-Tech (now Carnegie Mellon University) where he met the enchanting Ruth Jackson. In 1951 he and Ruth were married in a double wedding ceremony with Ruth’s sister Jane marrying Bill Betts.
We couldn’t have asked for better or more supportive parents than Dave and Ruth. As an example, in 1969 they loaded us four kids (Lisa, Andrew, Amy and Dan) into the back of their Buick station wagon and drove us from Titusville, Pennsylvania to Wyoming. They wanted us to experience the wonders of Yellowstone National Park.
In 1971, we moved to Upper St. Clair, Pennsylvania (just south of Pittsburgh) and although they travelled extensively, Dave and Ruth lived in Upper St. Clair for the rest of their lives.
In 2011 Dave and Ruth moved to Friendship Village—a senior living community also in Upper St. Clair. In 2013 and after 62 years of marriage, Dave’s “Ruthie” (he would also call her “Tweedles”) died after an extended illness. In 2014, Dave’s third child (our sister) Amy died of cancer. Dave would later reminisce that due to the nature of Ruth’s extended illness and multiple complications there was an element of relief in her death. He’d then pause and look into the distance and think about his daughter Amy. His eyes would well with tears and his voice would tremble, “...but with Amy, I never saw it coming.”
After Ruth’s death, Dave met Mary Lou Sullivan in Friendship Village who had also lost her spouse. Dave and Mary Lou had many good years and good times together. Mary Lou died earlier this year.
When we kids were younger, our dad generally had a positive outlook on life. However, as he aged—and in the face of losing his parents, his sister, his brothers-in-law, his wife, his daughter, his daughter-in-law and his lady friend—somehow his generally positive outlook blossomed into a radiant bouquet of optimism. With it, he brightened so many lives including those of his grandchildren: Ben, Ethan, Jacob, Alyssa, Julian, Jackson and Emma.
Having moved to Friendship Village in 2011, Dave spent 10 wonderful years of his life there. When any of us would visit Friendship Village, staff and caregivers would comment how much they loved our father. “He’s always singing” was a common refrain.
In the last couple years as his health declined, dad moved from independent living to the health center at Friendship Village. We’ve lost count of the number of times caregivers would call us to report on some health incident with our dad. Invariably, their report would finish, “...he’s doing fine now. He’s out at the nurse’s station in his wheelchair playing the harmonica for us.”
Through this last year of the pandemic, our dad did his best to remain positive even as our frequent visits were reduced to video calls. We’re grateful that we and our spouses, significant others and many of his grandchildren were able to visit with him in his final days.
We’d like to thank the caregivers and staff of Friendship Village for their love, their warmth and their professionalism—especially over this past and most difficult year. It meant the world to our father and it gave us great comfort.
In researching
carpe diem, for this tribute, we discovered that while “seize the day” is the common translation, the more literal translation from the original Latin is "pluck the day [as it is ripe]". That more literal translation fits our father even better as we will always remember him whistling away while he tended his flower and vegetable gardens.
For anyone would like to make a donation in Dave's honor, we ask that you either direct your donation to either the Friendship Village Team Member Appreciation Fund or WQED.
The staff at Friendship Village have been great to our dad through the years. The appreciation fund is divided equally amongst the staff at the end of the year to help recognize all that they do for the community. The fund is only able to accept physical checks so please make them payable to FVSH-TMAF and mail to:
Friendship Village of South HillsAttn: TMAF1290 Boyce RoadUpper St. Clair, PA 15241
WQED is one of Pittsburgh's public broadcasting organizations and he loved both their classical music radio station and T.V. programming. In his later years he especially liked the Wednesday evening show
Nature and the Friendship Village staff would make sure his television was tuned to it.
https://www.wqed.org/donateYour generosity is appreciated!
The three of us are hoping that we can age half so gracefully as our father did.
—Lisa, Andrew, Dan