Our dad met uncle Joe in the stairwell of the apartment building in Washington Heights around 1942. Dad had a hard childhood, but thanks to Joe, he had a best friend for life, and Joe's parents that he loved and looked up to. Dad was joe's best man at his wedding. All through our childhood, we grew up with our funny dad and Uncle Joe, pulling quarters out of our ear, and having an Aunt Ann and two more 'cousins', Bruce and Marsha who had an 'uncle Dave'.
Almost every year, my dad and Uncle Joe and our families would get together. In the 90's, this usually involved meeting in Atlantic city, eating lots and dad and Joe playing craps and poker. My mom would do the slot machines with nickels - never the high stakes type. I was lucky to live in New Jersey and could drive down and visit them all for a day.
As they got older, and my kids were young, Joe and Ann would come to my house in NJ when my parents were in town. They'd bring bagels, salads, we'd nosh, they'd play cards and tell bad jokes. I loved it. Joe and Ann came down to Cape May to celebrate my parent's 50th anniversary. It was wonderful.
Our last visit to see Uncle Joe and Aunt Ann at their house in Long Island was Feb 2013. My dad's vascular dementia was in middle stage and he didn't remember Joe's name, but he knew Joe was special and was very happy to be there to visit. Oh, and I think Dad still beat him at rummy. Later on, as my dad's disease progressed, he would start planning for 'the people in New York to come and pick him up to take him'. It was so hard on my mom when he went into this mode, sometimes putting his coat on, sitting by the door and insisting someone was coming..we could never figure out if he meant Uncle Joe, but we sure missed them together.
In December of 2014, my mom told me how much Joe wanted to see my dad. Joe and Ann were also with many ailments of their own - but we knew this was important and I had to find a way. I ended up convincing his son Bruce to drive them with me to see my dad in mid December, when Bruce was visiting for their 60th anniversary. It was a memorable road trip, filled with new stories of my dad as Joe recalled them. My mom had just moved Dad into a different, better memory facility in Pittsburgh.
When we arrived, my parents were tired and worn. We sat and hugged them, and as Dad was looking at Joe he bent to shake his hand and said "It's good to see you. I've seen you a lot of times." We were all misty. They had a nice visit, it was the week of the holiday party at dad's new home, and mom felt proud that dad was a bit of a VIP resident, with visitors from New York on such a big anniversary. I think it gave them all some closure to say good bye.
Dad got progressively worse after Joe and Ann's visit, and passed away just 3 weeks later. Joe was able to say goodbye to him via my phone the night he died.
So, friends...if you ever wonder whether I will be your loyal friend for life, just know I've had some pretty amazing role models to follow!