I don't know why I am writing this nor what has led me to do so. I never met Deanna or her family, didn't attend her school and I do not live in her town. At the time of Deannas accident, I was 14 years old and in 8th grade at Hauppauge Middle School. I remember hearing and reading about the incident, but what struck me was her school photo on the cover on Newsday on March 15th, 1991. That day happens to be my birthday, though just a coincidence I guess. I was in a group of middle schoolers that used to read to younger students and the girl I read to looked so similar to Deanna (I had read to this student during the prior year). Perhaps that was the first connection or maybe I was just more sensitive and aware of our mortality at a younger age than most.
     I remember being profoundly saddened by Deanna's passing and for some reason, over the years, her name and her face have come into my mind from time to time. I am now 36 and a proud father of an 8 year old and a 3 year old girl. Being a parent, I am now extremely aware of what parents go through in the loss of a child. I know how the lives of Deanna's parents, siblings and extended family must have been divided into two pieces; Before her passing and after. If her parents or siblings happen to read this, I want to properly extend my condolences and pay respect to the loss and memory of you daughter/ sister. By this point, I am probably rambling in my writing so I will move to sum it up.. I never knew Deanna but in some strange way and for some unknown reason, her memory has been etched in my mind for the last 22 years. Not in some strange or weird way, but rather as a subltle, gentle reminder from time to time throughout my life. Why this is, I have no answer. Nevertheless, I just want you to know that her memory lives in places you never knew existed. God bless you all and I hope you have found peace in your lives. This Thanksgiving, I am sure she will be there with you as she is and has been each and every day.  

So, i remember when you were born.  We came to visit, and your sister and I got preoccupied with our "records", (yep....The old vinyls....lol)!  And so we forgot you were napping, and we were jamming out, having fun, acting like rockstars to a 45 record of "Oh Mickey!!" ........ANd than BOOM!! Your dad comes in, "HEY ANG!!!!!!!!!!!!! TURN THAT MUSIC DOWWWWWWN!!!"  

Well we tripped all the way to the record player and turned that off with a quickness!! And the funny thing is, that was the first and last time I had ever seen your dad mad, EVER!! But i have kids, and i know what lack of sleep does to even us loving parents!!:)

However, since we thought we were the best singers ever, we were also using another advanced piece of equipment to record ourselves ...(Yep, a tape recorder!)  So, because of that, we got your father on tape yelling at us!!! It was so funny!!!   We didn't tell him, and instead played him yelling at us over and over (this time, very low of course) and agreed that his performance was much better than ours! I wonder if Angela still has the tape!?! LOL!!!

So than, we went to your room, because you did wake up anyway (on your own, i might add, so that your dad doesn't get mad again....lololol!!)  Your mommy was changing, what was to me, the tiniest person I had ever seen up until that point.  You were kicking your tiny little chicken legs, and looking around at your sister's voice saying "Hi Deanna, Hi Deanna!!!.." and I think that that was when i fell in love with infants....the little angels we are given, just like yourself.  So tiny, and beautiful you were....

I think of that day, and the many days since than when i was with you and your family, and I am so sorry you had to be taken away so young, and so soon....from your mother, father, sister, your family, and friends.....it was on the day that you died that I learned what true heartbreak is....and that our children should never, ever be taken from us....and i think of your family often and admire their strength...which I am sure is coming from their personal angel, You:)

OK this might not be what you remembered or how you think things went, but this is how it went for me. I was in 11grade, I was busy with high school and running all the time. Then this, Like everyone I remember not believing it, my memory takes me back visiting Deanna in a hospital bed. Were I thought it would be the same place I was when I was nine, in a hospital bed. You know where the kids stay and get better. It wasn't there though, not the same room not the hallway I remembered not even the same wing. I thought I was going to be talking to her and hearing her laugh or just being there quite. I was overwhelmed by sadness and remember praying for her to not be scared, cause I was.

Then the next thing that happened, weeks have past, and I'm walking out of the church service to my parents car. Looking behind me, there was to me, hundreds of cars and just as many people. Going down 110 for miles passing Deanna's house turning back onto 110 and the cars that pasted on the other side of the guard were grieving just as the people were in front of me. You see, we were going down 110 and there was so many cars we past the end of the line on the way back towards the church, which seemed like to me five or ten minutes of driving. Then when we arrived at that Grave yard, even more people were around, some that I new some that were total strangers, including men hiding behind tomb stones taking pictures for the news, then quickly to a house near my old middle school. I couldn't tell you who's house it was or if I have ever been there before.

Arriving I felt sick and nervous. Walking through that front door was very difficult. John was standing there, I didn't know what to say or do, I'm speechless. I have been jealous at times in my days of Johns joy for life. Seeing such a giant personality such as he, full of smiles, on the ready for a joke and always with love, cry the way he did crushed me. Then he said to the adult next to me who broke the ice with words i didn't hear

Yea.. she sure new how to get your attention...