ForeverMissed
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Her Life

Forever Missing you and Grieving

July 17, 2014

"Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, May me looking back in memory help comfort me tomorrow. ~author unknown

Your Aunt Terazzzh misses you so much even a person with Psychiatric Nurse Specialist experience like me realize that tears are not enough. Yet, my memories of you are my treasures. Thank you for being a part of my life all theses years. Somehow we'll all get through it and life will go on...

This model of grief was first introduced by Swiss-American Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book On Death and Dying. Dr. Kübler-Ross model taught of the five stages of grief, which are a series of emotional stages experienced when faced with with death.

The stages, popularly known as DABDA, includes;

Denial — As the reality of loss is hard to face, one of the first reactions to follow the loss is Denial. What this means is that the person is trying to shut out the reality or magnitude of his/her situation, and begins to develop a false, preferable reality.

Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"; "Why would God let this happen?"
Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Anger can manifest itself in different ways. People can be angry with themselves, or with others, or at a higher power, and especially those who are close to them. It is important to remain detached and nonjudgmental when dealing with a person experiencing anger from grief.

Bargaining — "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if…"
The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow undo or avoid a cause of grief. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Other times, they will use anything valuable as a bargaining chip against another human agency to extend or prolong the life they live. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just do something to buy more time…" People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek to negotiate a compromise. For example "Can we still be friends?" when facing a break-up. Bargaining rarely provides a sustainable solution, especially if it is a matter of life or death.

Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon so what's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
During the fourth stage, the grieving person begins to understand the certainty of death. Much like the existential concept of The Void, the idea of living becomes pointless. Things begin to lose meaning to the griever. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and sullen. This process allows the grieving person to disconnect from things of love and affection, possibly in an attempt to avoid further trauma. Depression could be referred to as the dress rehearsal for the 'aftermath'. It is a kind of acceptance with emotional attachment. It is natural to feel sadness, regret, fear, and uncertainty when going through this stage. Feeling those emotions shows that the person has begun to accept the situation. Oftentimes, this is the ideal path to take, to find closure and make their ways to the fifth step, Acceptance.

Acceptance — and finally acceptance.

"It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
In this last stage, individuals begin to come to terms with their mortality or inevitable future, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. This stage varies according to the person's situation. People dying can enter this stage a long time before the people they leave behind, who must pass through their own individual stages of dealing with the grief. This typically comes with a calm, retrospective view for the individual, and a stable mindset.

Kübler-Ross originally developed this model based on her observations of people suffering from terminal illness. She later expanded her theory to apply to any form of catastrophic personal loss, such as the death of a loved one, the loss of a job or income, major rejection, the end of a relationship or divorce, drug addiction, incarceration, the onset of a disease or chronic illness, an infertility diagnosis, as well as many tragedies and disasters (and even minor losses).

 

We Can't Believe she is Gone!

July 5, 2014

Copied from FACEBOOK:

 

Jill Jacobs says; Golden chariot rides. Hugs, kisses, overwhelming love, Peace, and joy for Denise.

Jazz Wyer wrote Yesterday on 7-4-2014- " I am just broken!!!! One of the strongest people I know has left me. But she is in a better place. Friends, I ask that you pray for my family for this is extremely difficult to swallow. Rip Aunt Denise Wyer you are with Grandma Rose And Grandpa Adrain Wyer
now in Heaven you will suffer no more.

Kim Marshall Scott wrote; "I am saddened to hear Denise Wyer. Please let me know if there's anything I can do. Denise and went to school together. God bless you all. RIP my old friend."

Robin Lewis Bivins posted to "Jazz my condolences honey. I pray for peace for you and the fam."

Destiny Wyer wrote Yesterday; "my mother my rock is gone! Her life was shorted lived and I wish we had more time together. But now she is in a better place with her loved ones that are not with us anymore. Mom you are gone but always be in my heart."

Zamora Teraz posted; "So sad and depressed. I've LOST MY BEST friend and My  niece.

Bigboy Wyer (son) wrote 7-4-2014 (Yesterday) "Rip my man! Man she's gon,e wtf, dog! Not my mama, she was only 44 she was too young omg july 4 2014 — One minute we were all together and just like that she gone.
Man what am I gonna do without my mama?" My mama dead!

Shenika Wyer posted;"I can't believe my mother in law is gone, my husband was talking to her and two hours later we get a phone call saying she's not breathing we love Denise Wyer and miss you so much."

Adrian Wyer (son)shared Jazz Wye's status Yesterday; "Denise was one of the strongest people. I know she is in a better place but Not here with us. Friends, I ask that you pray for my family for this is extremely difficult to swallow. Rip  my sister Denise Wyer, you are now in Heaven you will suffer no more."

Candy Schofield Yesterday; "Darn man my boyfriend just lost his mom today. Man this some bullshit. we are all so lost right now im hurting. This upsets the 4th of July and is so hard for everybody. Man! RIP MOTHER-INLAW YOu were like a mother to me, man, you have to go; But I remember all the times you woke         me up for school and just play around with me.

And when I sit on your lap it would be funny because you'wd say you are so light like little baby and it feels so good inside me and all over. Again this STUFF is'nt real. She was just helping me cope with my granny's DEATH,  because I was hurting when my granny past this year. Man OMG, man. IT'S LIKE TO PEOPLE THAT I LOVE GO, MAN BUT THEY ARE IN A BETTER PLACE. I will LOVE YOU ALWAYS, MOM! I LOVE YOU MOMMMMMMY