*here it is starting a new yr.2012, and all i can think of is 2010 the yr and day i lost u forever,i wish i could go back to that day and tell u how much u mean to me and how happy i was being your mom,i have never had a day in my life that i regreted ever having u,it is scary now because when u were here i knew i could always count on u being there for anything,its been really hard this past yr, dealing with u being gone and not being able to have your brother and sister with me,im sure u know what all has gone on with me and them, i get to talk to wesley once in a while and now im actually being able to talk to miranda,she has had some problems with john and melissa so she is staying with someone who really cares for her,i think you would like him,i havent met him in person but hopefully soon,atleast one good thing he is very supportive in miranda seeing and talking to me.                                                                                                                        i think she has alot of me and you in her, she is gonna be able to take care of herself of course with u looking over her, as u know she has turned into a very beautiful young girl, and as for wesley i think he had his heart broke for the first time,we thought she was the one for him but i guess not,he seems to be getting thru it ok i wish i was there to help him,but ive told him i am here if he needs someone to talk to,he has turned out to be a very strong,loving kind hearted very responsible young man,and i know u can see that, just pls,watch over both of them and help guide them on the right path,and darling i think of u every day and so does rob,he has noticed your 3;20 it is the time that something always happens and we know it has to do with u, we know its your way of letting us know u are with us,i hope one day i will be able to see and hold u again but until then keep sending us little things and i know u are around,im always feeling u i love u derek and that will never change.good night darling.