ForeverMissed
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Her Life

Missing you

June 29, 2015

I was remembering when I came to my sister's house and the kids didn't see me in a while and didn't know that my knees weren't what they use to. As I enterend the door I saw my brother Randy sitting there.  I went to say hello and Christopher leaped on my back bringing me to my knees.  I first started to curse him out but when I looked at him, he looked frightened. I began to laugh and Dee got so mad at me and him.  She cursed him out and called me a stupid "B".  She was so upset and thought I was hurt. I said, "Dee when I saw his face and the fear that was on it, how could I be mad at him." 

I went to call her today to remind her of this story but I couldn't.  That's why I'm writing about it.  God, I miss her so much.  Everyday, I think of her in some capacity.  If just to think her name, I think of her.  I love you Dee.  

My Big Sis

June 20, 2015

There aren’t words that will express the loss felt today.  My sister Dee was a mother, friend, as well as aa loving sister to all who knew her.  She loved you, pissed you off, and made you laugh (sometimes all at once).

All I can tell you is that I loved her.  I loved her when we were laughing, crying, joking, and even when we fought.  And Boy did we have some fights.

Today, I ask myself dummy who’s going to love you enough to argue, fight and curse you out and still be there whenever you feel lost or overwhelmed.  You see that’s the kind of person my sister was.  She was our wisdom, our strength, the glue that held my family together.  As long as I can remember, that’s what she did.  She held us together.  Keeping us in touch with one another.  Making sure that no one was left out.  That all of us felt like we belong to one big family.  Never choosing and always including.

Those that knew my big sister even for a short while loved her.  Her sense of humor and her genuine love for others. She was amazing. She forgave us, even when we didn’t deserve it. She nursed us when we was sick. Treated each of us like one big family. She had a big heart.  A heart so big that it couldn’t be contained in her body.

God seeing how big and beautiful her heart was took her so that she could shine her love upon the earth, so that others could feel the kind of love and kindness we all received from her.  I know He wasnt disappointed. Dee taught us how to love and cherish each other. She showed us that sticking together meant being strong, united.  She taught us that in our togetherness there was strength.  A strength so strong that it will not collapse, even in the most trying times or circumstances.

I know that she would want us to embrace her boys.  To take them into our hearts and treat them like she treated us.  Making sure that they stay on the right path and that they know they are loved and cared for.

I once asked God to show me what love felt like.  I am so sorry it took this to know that I already knew.  You see Dee Loved me.  Who else would love someone with so much attitude?  She knew that I loved her and that I will never let her go.  She will go with me, in my heart everywhere.  The life lessons she taught me.  The unconditional love she gave.  I am forever sorry now that I never told her thank you.  Thank you for being there when others would just leave.  Thank you for doing the things that no one else would do for me.  I will always be grateful to God that you were my sister.  My Big sister.  My personal Angel sent from God.  I love you and I will miss you