Dick Denney, (1939 - 2021) - ForeverMissed.com Online Memorials

Often on our minds, Always in our hearts… Dick had a way of instilling confidence, hope, humor and meaning in the lives he touched. He certainly did in mine and for that, he will be forever loved. Paula

81 years old
Born on July 27, 1939
Passed away on February 18, 2021

Dick Denney peacefully passed away in his sleep the night of Thursday, February 18th. In a way, he had been preparing us for this for the last 2 years of his life. He would end every conversation with how much he loved his wife, Paula, how proud he was of his four kids, Erika, Kirsten, Sean, and Shannon (if he were here, he would correct me and say 7 kids, including their spouses), and grandchildren, Rio, Bo, and Livi. He had so much love for his family, as we did for him. Although we feel like he was taken too soon, we know this is exactly how he would have wanted to go. His mind was sharp but his body was giving out on him as a result of the medication he was taking for his prostate cancer. We have some hard times ahead of us and will never stop missing him. He was the epicenter of the family and in being that, he created a family who will support each other through this hard time and the others to come.

Dick lived two pretty incredible lives. He attended Stanford University, where he got an undergraduate degree in Physics, then Harvard where he got his environmental law degree. During his time at Harvard, he met his first wife, Becky Brown, who has a heart as big as his. They had two children, Erika and Kirsten. He then moved from DC to Chicago, where he met his current wife, Paula. They moved to La Canada, CA, where they had two children, Sean and Shannon. Being the man Dick was, he maintained a friendly relationship with Becky, which resulted in a loving relationship between all four of his kids and Paula. Becky and Paula liked each other so much that Paula once threatened to leave Dick for Becky. Dick loved that joke. He couldn’t get enough of Paula’s humor. Dick spent much of his children’s childhood taking them and their friends camping, hiking, kayaking, dancing, skiing, biking… I could go on and on…Now, they have him in their memories. It would not feel right to not mention that there was a period of time when he drank too much. As a result of the medication he was taking for his prostate cancer, he was feeling unmotivated and lost some of his joy for life. Thanks to the help of his wife, Paula, we got the father, husband, grandfather, friend, coach, and father figure back that we had known for the last six years of his life.

The last two years of his life, he found his real calling in life helping others. He became an assistant wrestling coach for La Canada High School. We heard all about who did what at practice and at meets and asked for our advice on what he could do to help better the players. He wanted to make sure he was doing everything he could. We assured him that his encouragement and presence were more than enough. He did not leave the house often in his later years, but if there was a wrestling practice or a meet, he was there. He meant more to the wrestlers than he ever knew.

There is not enough time or space for me to truly capture Dick’s presence. He was funny but would never make a joke that would hurt someone, he was smart but did not flaunt it, he was supportive but encouraged independence, he pushed us all to be our best but did not shame us for failures but rather taught us to learn from them. He will forever be missed but he will live on as he is engrained in all of the lives he has touched.

If you would like to make a contribution on Dick’s behalf, please use this link below:

https://gofund.me/2f976c6c

-Shannon

Tributes

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July 28, 2022

Hi Dad! I'm a day late but wanted to let you know that the family thread lit up yesterday as we remembered you.

Paula shared a pic that reminded me of when you plunged right thru a rotten part of the dock at the Fisherman's Co-op just a couple of summers ago. It's not a good look, as a biz owner, when an 80 yo falls thru your rotten dock into the cold, cold Maine sea. I'm sure they were worried but you somehow (not entirely gracefully) heaved yourself out and made tracks to the boiled lobsters that were waiting for you. All good in your mind.

We buried most of your ashes on the north point of the island when Paula and the halfsies were here earlier. I hope to put a bench there bc the view is so beautiful and I'd love to sit close. And you won't be alone. We plan to finally rest Grandma Toni and Pobber there, too. I've got dibs on a slot but hopefully not to be used for a long while yet! And we made a bit of a show of throwing some ashes to the wind to settle in the waters of the Damariscotta River. Erika in particular likes the idea of swimming with you. (The rest of us are less zealous only bc of the water temperature!)

We love you and miss you! KD

July 27, 2022

Happy Birthday DIck! Thinking of Sean, Paula & Shannon. Fondly, Sheila

February 27, 2022

Gosh, Dad, I can't believe it's been more than a year since I've laid eyes on you. How often I want to check in with you, to talk to you about something on my mind and know I'll get completely non-judgmental, unbiased, thoughtful feedback; to get caught up with the news I can't seem to make sense of; to hear you make fun of me in the dearest way; to make fun of you likewise; to laugh-- oh, to really laugh!; to just catch up and always leave the conversation with you reminding me of how proud you are of me and the rest of your family. I sure do miss talking to you, knowing you are always there, hearing your laughter, and just feeling such a deep connection with you. Lucky for me, I still and always will feel that. I'm just so so so so so so grateful that I got you for a dad. You sure live on in me, my siblings, my children, my mom, and Paula. I love you so much, Dad!!!

February 21, 2022

I also can’t believe its been a year. I have thought of Dick so often its like I’ve continued to have conversations with him. He was, and is, such an amazing part of our lives.

February 19, 2022

Dear Paula and Kids,

So hard to believe its been a year. I miss Dick everyday, his friendship, his advice, his smile and his very spotty sense of humor....

February 18, 2022

Maybe this is on my mind because I thought I would be in Pasadena today! During years of visits to Paula and Dick's house, Dick was, more or less, in charge of getting me around. Countless trips to and from Pasadena, to and from Union Station, to and from LAX. It was our catch up time. There were my political questions, he told me what books he was reading, but mainly we talked about family. He would tell me what was happening with Kirsten, the Calais', as well as Sean and Shannon And I remember as he dropped me off whenever I was going back, he would always say - "Thanks for coming. We love having you." I miss those times with him.

February 18, 2022

Remembering the engaging conversations we would have regarding the markets and his frequent, happy references to his family. A very nice person. You are missed.

February 18, 2022

I sure do miss you, Dad. I'd give anything for one of your big goofy hugs! But we'll celebrate you with laughter tonight. Your always entertaining wife has organized a family trivia party (zoom of course) to celebrate you and your wonderful life! Love, love, love always!

May 20, 2021

I knew Dick Denny from Stanford wrestling. Recruited out of a weight lifting class, I very definitely lacked Dick’s background and skill in the sport. But Dick Denny was at all times extremely supportive and kind. Even as a young person you could tell that he was a really decent human being. I have never forgotten him. When I learned of his passing I shed some tears. All these years later I still appreciate him. My best wishes to his family at this time. Thank you for this opportunity to respond.

May 16, 2021

Dick and I were colleagues in the early days of EPA. He was always fun to be around, and he, Becky, my wife, and I enjoyed some good times together. Sorry to hear he had a rough time with the cancer, but that his family pulled him through it with grace. We'll cherish our memories of him.

March 24, 2021

I had the pleasure of working with Dick for almost 10 years. In that time, I don't believe there was a single interaction in which he didn't speak fondly of his family. He will be missed.

March 10, 2021

My name is Stephanie Hertz, I am Dick's niece on Paula's side. I first met him when he lived in Chicago before he and Paula got married. I have 3 favorite memories of Uncle Dick that I will share. Unfortunately, it has been several years since I've seen him, but he was a memorable man. My first memory of him was when he lived in a high rise apartment in Chicago and my parents took my brother and I to visit him and Paula. I remember him begin very personable and easy to talk to, but I will always remember the card tricks he showed us on the glass table in the apartment. I'm pretty sure he spent a fair amount of time entertaining my brother and me that night! The second most memorable story is one my kids all know. At his wedding he got on his kayak in his tuxedo and then later, he flipped the kayak over and came up with a can of sardines in his mouth! He was so funny. My kids know Uncle Dick as "the guy who flipped his kayak over and found sardines." And the third most memorable story is when I went to visit them in California when I was just out of college (around 1995.) I was sitting outside watching Sean and Shannon swim in the pool. Uncle Dick asked me if I wanted anything to drink and I said a gin and tonic sounds good. I'm pretty sure he actually left the house and went out to buy the ingredients for a gin and tonic! I never really confirmed that he did, but it took a while and I know that is the kind of guy that he was. He also gave me a book that he really liked on that visit because I said I wanted to read it. Rest in Peace, Uncle Dick.

March 8, 2021

Dick was, in a word, exuberant. In his love of his family, intellectual curiosity, humor, generosity, and friendship. Whenever we talked I laughed, and learned. If you are truly lucky, you will have a handful of great friends in your life. Dick was that to me, and I am forever grateful.

March 7, 2021

I thought I'd add my toast to Dad on his 80th bday....

It’s a bit of a challenge to figure out how to sum up your dad In a short and sweet way. This is the man who was still leap-frogging parking meters and – I learned today – doing daredevil stuff on his skateboard when along came one and then two little unexpected poop factories that he didn’t know what to do with, to being the dad who took us to Africa for two years and on regular backpacking trips, who taught us to ride bikes, throw footballs, ski and garden. He loved music, especially our moms, and classical and opera on the weekends. Then onto the inevitable teenage years of humiliating us in his too-short shorts and.best funky chicken dance moves; to the person that taught us about loving someone despite divorce and who shared the fun of falling in love again; to the man who left a lucrative job to hang his own shingle to spend more time with his new family, taking the kids on all kinds of adventures. And to being the loving granddad, voracious reader and wrestling coach that he is today.

What I’m leaving out, unfortunately, are all the fun stories and jokes that span all those years, because dad was nothing if not a lover of fun and humor, with a perfect willingness to be the butt of a joke.

But I wanted to share an epiphany I had one day a while ago, while playing tennis with dad: I realized that he would rather help someone play their best game and lose to them than to beat somebody playing their lesser game. He’s always wanted to raise people up and support them, to look for the good and to be fair, to understand both sides. He just wants people to succeed, be they friends, family, strangers... regardless of color, homeland, lifestyle or whatever. I think he is one of the goodest men I know.

And, probably like most parents, nothing makes him happier than when he is with all of his family together, including both wives! Nothing on the planet means more to him than seeing us all together, playing, joking, sharing and loving. He also loves that his friends keep him on his toes with their humor, knowledge and insights.

Many years ago, I started listening to classical music on the weekends. I wasn’t a big buff and knew nothing about it, but it reminded me of weekends at home growing up, of dad stretched out on the sofa reading the paper or bouncing around the house doing projects or maybe gathering up the gear for our next backpacking trip. I still listen to classical music on weekends. Dad, I’m so lucky to have had you for a dad and to have shared this life and all the wonderful people that you brought into it.

March 6, 2021

I first met Dick in the early 1980s. He had co-written an excellent book on environmental law that helped me, as a green but aspiring government regulator, look competent in the area of chemicals and public health. Out of the blue I called to thank Dick for his book and quickly discovered how genuine and funny this bright lawyer was! Dick has been a precious friend ever since, one who was always honest and direct in what he said. He was a very special man who brought light and warmth into every room he entered. I remember hearing that in life we meet hundreds of people, but in the end we will be most grateful to have one or two true friends. Like everyone touched by Dick's kind and gentle spirit, I am most grateful for his friendship.

Dear Paula, Sean, Shannon, Erika, Kirsten and Becky, a number of years ago the lunches that Dick and I would have took a good turn. We used to talk about Superfund, and how to allocate cleanup costs, etc., and then one day we decided we would not talk about work anymore. Instead, we would spend the time talking about what really mattered. For Dick, the focus was on his lovely Paula and his kids and grandkids. Dick loved talking about each of you. You are an amazing family.

We were also prone to talk about our younger years, and in Dick I found a trusted friend who always matched stories of my young, crazy adventures with a number of his own.

Please know that all who were fortunate to call Dick a trusted friend are sharing in your loss. Like you, we miss him, we wish we had more time to spend with him; and we will carry precious memories of this dear man in our hearts forever.

Love to all of you and best wishes always,

Angelo and Junjun

March 4, 2021

Denney Family, I am so sorry for your loss. It was truly an honor to get to know Mr. Denney and take care of him. He was always so proud of all of his children and the office visits were spent more on catching up on how all of you were doing than about his knee or shoulder. He was always so humble but asked so many great questions about medicine, I always looked forward to his office visits. Please know that he will be in the prayers of the Stetson family as will all of you. God bless.

March 4, 2021

It is with a heavy but full heart that I contribute to the loving memory of our dear friend, husband, father and family member to so many, Dick Denney. All who had the privilege of knowing him loved him and thought the world of him. Dick was a wonderful, loving, amazing man who left a mark on all those with whom he came in contact. He was like a second father to my son Drake, an inspiring role model to all of the boys and girls in La Canada who had the honor of having their lives touched by him. He was a role model of integrity, strength and compassion to all of us. His sense of humor is probably what stood out most to me personally, and I am still in awe of his ability to frequently take a group of 7 or 8 rowdy high school boys (my son was one!) skiing, by himself, in Mammoth. He was an amazing athlete and inspired the boys to love life, physical activity, and shared experiences. My thoughts and prayers are with Paula, Sean, Shannon and all of his family. He will be greatly missed by all.

March 2, 2021

The day I heard the news about Dick's death, I later was reading the Washington Post and glanced at my horoscope, which I rarely read. It said I should focus on a loved one who had passed away, that there was a message in the attention paid! At the time I sensed it was too woowoo to even mention to anyone, but finally did mention it to one daughter (I am Dick's sister-in-law, so daughter is his niece) who thought it was worth some pondering. And ponder I did. A couple wonderful memories came to mind.

This same daughter, now in her 50's, had many surgeries as an infant, often leaving her Dad and me heart-broken and distraught. One or the other of us was always with her in the hospital and sometimes, when my vigil was over, I would drive to Dick and Becky's house in Chevy Chase which was closer to the hospital (Children's in DC) than ours in Arlington. One such night was especially poignant since I had had to face this baby's possible death. I arrived at their house late, barely able to speak. I went to the bed they kept ready for me. Dick came and sat at the edge. He had been reading a particular book about the meaning of colors and asked me what color seemed to be defining my experience. I said, "Black." He gently, compassionately, quietly, entered into that dark place with me - avoiding all platitudes or false assurances, just being with me, sitting there at the edge of the bed, listening if I spoke, handing me endless tissues when tears were the only expression coming from my sorrow streaked state. He stayed with me in that way until I fell asleep.

Several years and two more children later, my marriage having failed, I moved to Portland, Maine where a high school beau and I had reconnected, planning a second marriage for the following year. In the summer when Dick and family were on the island, the relationship came to a crashing end sending me into a tailspin. In the middle of the night I called my parents whose home was on the mainland and asked my father to go over to the island right then, and get Dick Denney, and ask him to come to Portland right way - I was in crisis. My father did. Dick came. This time he spent the whole day with us - listening, comforting, playing with the kids, beating the heck out of tennis balls with me up on the near-by court until I had talked and pounded my way out of crisis and into recovery.

He and I continued to talk several times a week (this was long before cell phones) for most of the next year. Dick was my brother-in-law. More importantly, he was my friend.

His life and mine took on new trajectories - his through divorce and relocation and meeting amazing Paula (yayyyyyyyy!), and mine with relocation to New Haven, graduate school, and a new career. We did not see each other much after that intense year, but each time we did, I reminded him about what a good friend he was.

The horoscope was right that day. It was good to focus on a loved one who had passed away. There were messages in it of the goodness which life has to offer in the likes of people who embody the kindness, wisdom, friendship, and generosity of Dick Denney. Dick left a world so in need of such gifts, and far richer for his 81 years of giving them.

March 1, 2021

As Paula's sister, Dick's sister-in-law, I've known Dick for some 30 years. Last week, I wrote to his daughters, Kirsten and Erika, and Kirsten replied, "He was an easy man in life and, it seems, death too." Maybe that's why I'm able to give a picture of my relationship with Dick just by recounting recent emails. A few days before he died, he sent a video of the "Ballerina of Shanghai", a beautiful piece. The week before, I got stars from 80 different movies dancing to "I'm so excited!" His interests were wide and varied and enriched my life. He was my book club's go-to-guy. When we couldn't think of a book from a particular genre for our 2021 list, someone said, "Let's just ask Barbara's brother-in-law." Then there were the MP series of emails. MP is our former Vice President, a native of Indiana. Dick went to high school not too far from where I live in Indianapolis and talked about practicing on Butler University's field. When it came time for MP to leave the White House, I suggested he might want to move to La Canada. If you knew Dick, you knew his politics, so you can imagine those exchanges. Finally, I wrote to wish him a happy birthday on July 27, 2020. We talked about his son Sean's upcoming wedding and shared memories about the same day in 2019 when we celebrated both his 80th birthday and his daughter Shannon's wedding. We ended with the usual, time goes too fast. And then he wrote, "Thanks for your email. It's nice to be remembered." No worries about that, Dick. No worries about that. We remember. Love, Barbara

February 28, 2021

Although we did not have the privilege of knowing Dick as many others, it is obvious that he was a person of extraordinary abilities and countless accomplishments. Our deepest sympathies go to Paula and the children for their incredible loss.

Gail and Richard

February 28, 2021

My name is Tom Baldini. Paula Denney is my sister and Dick was my brother-in-law. Dick was just a great guy. He was an exceptional person. He had a great sense of humor, and was one of the smartest people I know. In the ABOUT section it says “he was smart but did not flaunt it.” I completely agree.

My family and I have many great memories spending time with Dick and Paula. Three stand out in my mind. Before Dick and Paula got married Dick lived in a cool bachelor pad on one of the top floors of McClurg Court in Chicago. He had a view of Lake Michigan. Dick invited us there for a visit. I had met him before, but this was the first time he met my wife Ginny and my two kids Stephanie and Matthew. Dick was his usual warm and friendly and funny, and was an instant hit with the family. We still laugh about driving home after our visit. The kids were in the back seat snickering about something. We asked them what was so funny. One of them said “his name is dick.” Kids.

Dick and Paula moved to a big beautiful home in Woodstock, a suburb north of Chicago. They were married there. My family visited there several times. The home was on a large piece of property with a small lake. Dick would show the kids how he liked to catch fish in the lake. He would get in his kayak, flip it upside down so he was under water, flip it right side up (amazing to watch), and pull a sardine out of his mouth. It was fantastic!

We missed Dick and Paula when they moved to Los Angeles. I had a business trip to San Jose, and I visited them for a couple days while I was in California. On one of the days I was there Dick and I rode bikes to the Mount Wilson Observatory. It was exhilarating and a little scary. I remember it very well. We stayed together on the way up the mountain, but not on the way down. I am sure I applied the brakes all the way down. I don’t think he applied the brakes at all on the way down. He was passing cars on Angeles Crest Highway on the way down. Needless to say he got home before I did.

I will miss him a lot.

February 27, 2021

Dick loved to boil his insights on the meaning of life down into one sentence mottos - a good skill for a lawyer. For example, "You have not set priorities until you have said what you are NOT going to do." I owe some big personal debts to this trait of his - in addition to all the memories of friendship over the years. When I first wrote an article for publication, he gave me the key insight that really made it worth writing. And years later at a time of personal difficulties he showed up unannounced, quizzed me on the situation, and then gave his optimistic evaluation that turned out to be completely true.

We will all miss him.

February 26, 2021

I want to thank everyone for their support and love. We feel it!

I am sure I have missed telling some people that were important to Dick. If any of you can think of someone that may not have heard of Dick's passing, I would appreciate your forwarding this website to them.

As Kirsten said, we love hearing about any memories you have of Dick or how you knew him. Thanks again for posting or visiting this site. It has brought me great comfort to feel connected to so many people that knew him.

Love to all, Paula

February 26, 2021

Dick and I had both recently become octogenarians, and we geezers pay attention when one of us goes, especially one like Dick, who constantly “put some good into the world.” I have been very sad this week, and my thoughts have turned constantly to memories of this good and decent man.

Dick’s life and mine displayed a remarkable synchronicity. We were married the same week in 1962, and our eldest children were born the same week. Our first law jobs were at Surrey, Karasik, Greene & Hill in Washington, DC, where we became close friends, and Dick introduced me and my first wife to his Africa crew, most of whom I am in touch with and who I suspect will be contributing here. Dick and I both left the law firm to help start up the brand-new U.S. Environmental Protection Agency in early 1971, and we both stayed there for many years.

Both of us ended our first marriages around this time. We each provided deposition testimony in the other’s proceeding – absurd kabuki required by DC’s no-fault uncontested divorce statute. We both later remarried; Dick to Paula, I to Nancy, and we both had two more children.

In due course, we both spent time in the chemical industry, Dick as general counsel of Velsicol in Chicago, I as senior environmental counsel at FMC in Philadelphia. We both returned to private practice, where, through a series of firm upheavals and mergers, we actually both became employed by Baker & Hostetler in 1991. We both eventually found greener pastures in smaller, more congenial firms. Three thousand miles apart at the end, we had little opportunity to see each other. Still, we talked by phone and emailed several times a year. Nancy and I visited Dick and Paula in 2019 on a visit to L.A.

I owed Dick a lot. There was a time in the 1970s when I felt things were falling apart for me; not sure how I would have managed without Dick’s patient friendship. Also, when Nancy and I lost our beautiful younger daughter, Katie, in a freak jeep accident in the Virgin Islands in 2007, Dick and Paula came east for the memorial service, a kindness we could never repay.

Now my dear friend has died, but I know exactly what he would say to me today, if he could, while lifting a glass of bourbon in my direction, “Of course you realize, Mac, that you always do what I do.”

February 26, 2021

I've known Dick for more than 40 years. He was my boss, professional colleague, client and most importantly my dear friend. I'm devastated by his loss.

He was the best boss I ever had. He instinctively knew how to deal with me effectively, which mostly amounted to ignoring my first emotion reaction to any crisis, knowing that I would come back to him hours later, having calmed down, with generally sound advice. He was a great mentor, and I learned a lot from him that served me well throughout my career. He was a fine lawyer. One indicator was that he wrote really well. One of the many wise things he told me was that you didn't deserve to call yourself a lawyer until you had taken half an hour to write a sentence. He was right.

But most important, he was a wonderful friend. We spent many days together on the ski slopes. I also kayaked with him; he taught me the basics in the Potomac gorge one great afternoon, that was only marred when he chipped one of my front teeth when we were loading the boats back on the car. He was proud of his luddite attitude about high tech innovations in sports equipment. He claimed he played tennis with a racket that his dog had chewed up, and was fond of telling the story about the person who returned a new racket to the shop because it had a defective backhand.

When I worked for Dick, he would send me notes written in green ink. I started using green pens also, only to be told, quietly but firmly, that green was his color, and I needed to find my own. I kidded him about green pens for the rest of his life, and I truly regret that I can't continue to do so. He was very special, and will be greatly missed.

February 26, 2021

This is so eerie. I just told my nephew a story about Dick yesterday after, admittedly, not having thought about Dick for years. Dick was my first boss as a lawyer. Yes, he was a wonderful lawyer but I remember/treasure him more as a wonderful human being, a mentor and someone who was so gifted at lifting my spirits during challenging times as a newby lawyer. Id been encouraging my nephew to find a mentor and told him something about Dick's advice to show the benefit of a mentor.... After Dick left EPA, I was lucky enough to see him several times in Chicago and San Francisco. While we caught up on our careers, he was always more excited to fill me in about his family. I can't imagine your loss.

February 26, 2021

Dick will be missed by so many people. I knew Dick as a law partner and a friend. At work, Dick was bright, hard working, and fun to work with. And he was always supportive. As a friend, he was fun and energetic. I always looked forward to seeing him. He will be greatly missed.

February 26, 2021

To my family....there's at least one entry on the Stories page and I don't want you to miss it....

February 26, 2021

I just want to say a big thank you to folks for sharing your thoughts. Immediate family may know a person best - but there's so much we don't know, between work, pre-family days and friendships that we didn't get to experience. So, thank you.

I was a bit of a, um, love child. Dad was just a young buck in law school, not yet thinking about marriage and children and, suddenly, there we were. I think things were probably a little bumpy at first, with two squirmy things suddenly requiring so much of his time and resources. But, boy, did he (eventually!) - rise to the challenge. He was always taking us on adventures and making sure that we were learning new things. We turned our front yard into a veggie garden, backpacked often, went on ski trips to local mountains,(Scotch-guarding our jeans did NOT turn my sister and me into instant fans), moved to Africa for two years and went on safaris (back then, we just went on our own). My sister and I could throw a football better than many boys, and, yep, we all learned how to roll a kayak. He took us down to his office at the EPA just to show us the new computers that were making typewriters obsolete.

He was not a stylin' man, driving his old beaters to fancy law firm events and wearing short shorts WAY too long. And his dance moves were a spectator sport. He came home when I was in college with a huge beer sign that he'd won at a dance contest at the local watering hole - and I'm 100% sure it was due to the entertainment value rather than to style points.

In the "who knew?" category, he and some friends were arrested in college for driving a guy around with his arm hanging out of the trunk with ketchup on it. Yup. He did some stupid stuff for sure. But, true to his character, he felt horrid after he found out the trouble he'd caused.

He had slowed down in the last decade but he was a man of motion until then. And, yes, he was a man of advice, definitely receiving the occasional eyeball-roll. But it is an absolute truth that he only wanted people to be their best selves and to be happy. He'd rather help someone work on their game than play to beat them. And he was passionate about equal rights for everyone just bc he believed that everyone deserves to be happy.

He will be sorely missed. He left a legacy of two wives, four kids and three grandkids who adored him and each other. I feel more honored than ever to be part of that. I LOVE YOU, DAD!!!!!

February 26, 2021

On behalf of the Institute for Families, I would like to send our condolences to Paula and the rest of the family at this difficult time. We must note the many contributions Dick made not only to those in his immediate family and professional circles, but also to the world at large through his work at the EPA. He truly leaves all of us in a cleaner and brighter world thanks to his tireless work and influence. We send our collective love by lighting this candle in memory of Dick.

February 25, 2021

Dick and I have been friends since the 1980s -- law partners in downtown Los Angeles and neighbors in La Canada. Over the years we spent many enjoyable times together, camping with our kids, having lunch with friends, having dinner with our wives, and discussing politics, current events and life. I have great memories of our times together and I will miss Dick very much.

Sue and I send our deepest condolences to Paula, Sean & Shannon and the rest of Dick's family.

Mike Johnson

February 25, 2021

I am shocked and very saddened to learn of Dick's death. Dick was my first boss at EPA's OGC when I came in the late part of the Carter Administration to be his Assistant GC for TSCA, a subject I knew nothing about before I joined the Agency. Dick was a patient tutor, he brought me into the EPA culture and history (I vividly remember his stories about sitting up in Bill R's office at the end of the day (in Bill R's first tenure at EPA), feet on desks, shooting the breeze about anything and everything). Dick had such a huge commitment to the Agency, to the staff, and to the mission and purpose of environmental protection. But he was also just the most decent, nice person to work with. He was an extremely accomplished lawyer but also very modest and self-deprecating. He was great at celebrating the wins but also very philosophic and constructive (a great role model) about the losses. He was extremely supportive of women in the law -- that may sound trivial now that we have evolved a bit, but it was very important and told you a lot about Dick. I've thought often of him over the years and am kicking myself right now that I didn't make a stronger effort to figure out how to get in contact and just say hello. Thank you for sharing the lovely photos which gave me a wider perspective on his life. I am so sorry for your loss -- and its a loss we all share in some measure.

February 25, 2021

Dick and I have been great friends ever since we were fraternity brothers at Stanford back in the really old days. Dick was one in a million, funny, smart, and heart of gold. Up until his death we would talk on the phone about once a month--it was always a Joy, and I will miss him very much.

February 25, 2021

I'm a latecomer to the Dick Denney fan club, but I feel honored to be a member. Dick's warm welcomes and thanks will always be remembered and treasured. He passed but he remains for me, giving his jovial shout and wave of his hand from his chair in the living room. The phrase "he passed on" echos for me with double meaning. From what I read, he did pass on so much. Goodbye, Dick, and thank you.

February 25, 2021

I first met Dick in 1998, when I became his law colleague. I quickly became his friend. Dick was a warm, hearty and caring man, who had uncanny instincts when it came to clients, cases, and life. His instincts were never wrong. I learned a lot from him, professionally and personally - in many ways he was a father figure of sorts, especially in our early days, when I had just left big law. Throughout the years, he always expressed concern about me and my personal travails, and always gave me wisdom and insight. He will be missed.

February 25, 2021

Dick and I worked together at the Office of the General Counsel at EPA for several years, and we became good friends. He turned out to be the big brother I never had. We often played tennis. He was better than I was and nearly always won, and he was generous in sharing tips on how I could be a better player. When I got into white water kayaking, Dick taught me how to roll (recover from an inverted position). He and my wife and I went backpacking together. You'd never know Dick had had polio as a child, as he shouldered a heavy pack and set a blistering pace through the woods. Come to think of it, that experience helped convince Linda that backpacking wasn't her thing. He regularly attended the Keystone Environmental Law Conference at Keystone Resort in Colorado, and a group of us shared a condo. Again, he looked at my form on skis and offered helpful hints for improvement. The Conference was fine and educational, but what I really looked forward to was the opportunity to catch up with Dick.

We often had searching conversations about life, love, and the meaning of things. His jocular exterior concealed a deep thinker who had taken to heart Socrates's dictum about the unexamined life not being worth living. He had a clear sense of what was important and not so important in life. And number one in importance was his family, always. On the rare occasions when travels took me to LA, I made a point of getting together with him, and was privileged to be able to spend time with him and Paula, once with my wife in tow.

The news of his passing was hard to take in. I will miss him. My heart and deepest sympathy go out to Paula, who will miss him most of all.

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Gallery

Stanford Wrestling team, ca. 1960-61. As I recall, Dick was the captain.

Dick's selection to the PCI tournament, "Stanford Daily," 1960 or 1961

They still miss/remember you Coach Denney! April, 2022

Justin (Coach Luthey) and some of the wrestlers helping me move into my condo September, 2021.

❤️ A former wrestler and coach at LCHS with Coach Denney.

We missed Dick at Sean and Lauren’s Wedding on May 31, 2021. He was so proud of them.

Sean and Lauren with Kirsten and my sister Barbara who officiated their wedding!

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His Life

My Last Phone Call With Dad

February 25, 2021

by on behalf of Shannon

on behalf of Shannon

There isn't words to express what an impact my Dad had on my life. He was my role model, my cheerleader, my support, pushed me to do my best at everything I did and to take failures as life lessons. He made me believe I can do anything I put my mind to. He had the biggest heart. I talked with him on the phone two days before his passing and he went on and on about how much he loved my mom and how proud he was of his kids and that he loves the partners we have chosen in life. He was so excited to visit Jason and me in Madison, my brother and Lauren in Oregon, go to their wedding in May, and see all of his family on the Island in August. His last text message in "The Stupendous Denney n Calais Famdamily" group message was on the afternoon of his death where is said he was so excited to see all of his great family on the island soon. He will be talked about a lot during these events and we will feel his presence. Last night, Sean and Lauren told me to come see Dad, and pointed to the moon and said, "It's Dad”. Dad and I ended our conversation as we always do with “Bye, Sweetie, Love you so much” and I said, “Bye, Dad, love you, too”.

-Shannon

First meeting - 1993

March 2, 2021

The first time I met Dick we were at a Superfund meeting in a room with about 30 people, many of whom did not know each other. As we all went around the room introducing ourselves - Dick's introduction was normal - name, etc but ended with "if my response to a question makes no sense - just ignore it - my hearing aids aren't working today and I may hear something entirely different than the real comment." I had to get to know that guy!! So refreshing.

And that was the Dick I knew for 30 years - common sense - both feet on the ground. He will be missed.

Fond memories from a childhood friend of Kirsten and Erika...

February 25, 2021

(Adapted from a letter to Kirsten and Erica…)

First, I am so sorry to hear that your dear Dad passed away. I loved hearing about him, as well as your Mom, when we got together again in DC to do the ropes course (after too many years!). I also really LOVED the way you spoke not only of him, but also his new wife and family that you were clearly embraced by … and you clearly embraced them. You spoke with such exuberance and joy about each one - your Dad, Paula, Shannon and Sean - the mental image I walked away with was that he had built a fulfilling life, and you were an intimate part of it, including his second family. It made me so happy to hear that, and something I imagine you to be so thankful for.

He was and still is ‘Mr. Denney’ to me. He was the first adult male I got to know outside of my direct family, and in some ways, even within my extended family.

I remember, as an early middle school buddy down the street from you two, a growing awareness within a sheltered life of how families develop different ways of relating to each other - different family cultures perhaps - in this case very noticeable to me in the casual ease between your Dad and Mom and you two. This was quite different from the loving, but more strict and hierarchical order in our family. I was struck by your Dad's ruggedness (that wonderful red-tinged beard and mustache that said so much about his warm personality!); his hands-on can-do approach; his deep laughter and lightheartedness (never seemed to get stressed out at us, a bit of a novelty to me); his willingness to spend time explaining why certain things should be done certain ways but not hawking over us to ensure we followed his instructions; and your conversations between each other as if you were all adults.

I specifically remember your Dad talking about the EPA and his job, and tying his work into our experiences. I was mesmerized by the purpose he had in his work, it was understandable to me, and he was passionate about his work’s impact on the world. We didn’t talk about my Dad’s work at home (part of that understandable, being a spook, of course, but we didn’t know that, so it was always obscure… Dad goes to the office. Period.) So, this was new to me. There was a freedom within your family culture to explore life, take advantage of opportunities, and grow to be yourself. I loved that - it’s a precious gift both your parents blessed you with - and it impacted my life.

I know with certainty, based on my experiences with him and your family before HS, and our experiences here over the last 8 years of a house filled with not only our 4 teens but their many friends (we were the HS boy hangout) that he would have had a deep impact not only on his HS-aged children but also on the teenagers that moved through his home. How wonderful for you to be aware of that, and have the gift of their insights and memories of him!!! And how beautiful for him to not only be a presence when they were in his home, but to be engaged with them in outdoor adventure trips. A lifelong gift to them!

I hope your mom is doing well amidst her loss too. Even though divorced, they had many years together and a beautiful family, their lives were very enriched by each other, and they have sacred good memories.

Cherish the blessed memories of your amazing Dad, and all that you carry of him in you. And may his soul rest in that Peace that passes all understanding.

With love, and looking forward to seeing you both again soon,

Diane Abshire

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