It's been a year since finding out how sick you were. It's been a year since being in denial and thinking that you could've had better care w/ a better outcome. It's been an entire year. Time has gone by so fast and honestly it still really doesn't feel like my reality. Will it ever? I miss you Dad. When I walked in your room at that horrid nursing home, the look on your face was priceless. Your eyes lit up and to hear you say, "hey kid"!, literally had me break down. You had no idea I was flying 3000 miles to come to your side. I'm so thankful that I was able to come see you. We had our chats when you could talk and I held your hands so much. I think that's the most we held hands my entire life. I wouldn't take those moments back for anything in this world, Dad. I spent the last week of your life protecting you, looking after you and quietly crying in the background each time I'd head to the bathroom. My heartache was too much. I still feel broken and sad when I think about this time a year ago not knowing what your prognosis was. Were the doctors full of crap? Did they try everything they could've? I'll never know. What I do know is that I watched my Dad quietly slip away from this cruel world. Why you? Out of so many bad people, why did He choose to take our Dad away from us? Why ask why. Since you left our world to begin your new life in Heaven, you've left a stamp on my soul that can never be erased by anything. It's been 11 months since you passed and that stamp's ink is still as fresh today as it was last year. I didn't know that you could physically feel a heart break. It's a real thing and I feel it so much. I hope Heaven is beautiful and you're happy, healthy and doing whatever it is you do in Heaven. There are a few people up there that passed before you and some that passed after and I hope you're all looking down on me and helping me when I need it. What I need is constant confirmation from all of you that you're there and ok. I've never been afraid of the afterlife so show me the money, Dad! Show me. Give me signs. Tell the others to give me signs too. PLEASE!  I love and miss you so much. I need guidance so help your daughter out, please. Visit me. PS: Tell Ely hello for me. He's been there for three months...so guide him too. 
Love you Dad!

Happy Tuesday Dad! I love you. I miss you. I struggle daily and wish I could get a visit from you that is noticeable. I need confirmation that you're okay. I hope Heaven is more peaceful than Earth. Life is tough and I'm praying you're having the best time in Heaven. Please stay close to me and give me signs you're here. I need it. Tell everyone up there hello and I love them. I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BEYOND!

Happy birthday in Heaven, Dad!!! I hope you're going to do something great today. If you get around to it, come visit us here on Earth. I'll be sending you some gifts later. I sure hope you get each one and it makes your birthday extra special.  I think of you every single day, Dad. Some days are easy and other days I have several moments of sadness. I need visits from you to help my mind rest. Please come visit. HAPPY 68th BIRTHDAY, DAD!!!! I love you!!!

My fondest memories of you were going to your house as a teenager to hang out with Tarin. I had a lot of ups and downs with my home life in those days and I remember you showing concern for me and asking me if I was ok or needed help. Of course I would never accept it but I've always been grateful for your concern for my welfare, I didn't feel that many people were at that time. I hope you are at peace where you are, I will be grateful to you always! Love, Brandy

Don you were my big brother who I did not know well but loved you and your sense of humor. The Christmas you told me you had bought me training bras was one I remember. I thought about opening them...but it was a camera in the package. I got a lot of use our of the camera. Never forget you were the coldest child of Wilma and B. Donald Chmela..

I miss you Dad. Not a single days goes by where I don't think of you. I'm reminded each day with subtle hints that you are not far. It's not fair that you have left us. I'll be selfish and say out loud that it's not fair! In my world, you left too soon. You were so loved and thought highly of by so many. You helped so many people in life...why did you have to go? I'm forever grateful that I spent the last week of your life with you. We joked, held hands, laughed, sipped beer from a hospital bed, watched Naked and Afraid, visited with friends and family, and I quietly said my good-byes before I left just a few short hours before you passed. I know you heard my every word. You responded the best you could in your condition, and that's ok. I knew you were halfway between your body and your new world and I didn't want to pull you back while on your journey but I needed to tell you things and I do know you heard me. Thank you for acknowledging my pain while I watched you go through the process of crossing over. I felt you squeeze my hand when I cried. I will never forget it. Come visit me often and know that you will never be forgotten and will always be in my heart. Love you.