ForeverMissed
Large image
Stories

Share a special moment from Donald's life.

Write a story

Cabin

November 9, 2020
John located our cabin in Twin Peaks and shared the picture of what it looks like now.  So we siblings looked up old pictures.  The memories flooded each of us. Fun trouble accidents family friends loose teeth add-ons bunk beds starry nights mosquitoes squirrels asthma fires food. Hiking sledding swimming paddle board adventures general store candy card games red ants snakes pretending. my favorite was Dad playing kick the can.  I was the youngest so usually on Dads team.  He would snatch me up tuck me under his arm and run through the mountain side to win.  He played with us, provided for us, disciplined us, laugh cried got mad at us mostly He loved us. 
Thank you Daddy for always being my hero. 

Memories of Super Grandpa

May 13, 2016

I remember visiting Grandpa Don in Michigan when I was little. I remember he could drive with no hands (using his knees) and he would take us out in Grandma’s 280Z sports car for a joy ride with donuts in the icy cul-de-sacs.  I remember him laying on the floor and playing with us and showing us his sunken chest after coming in from a run. I remember going to church with them when we visited, in Michigan and Chicago, where Grandma and Grandpa would sing in the choir.  In Chicago, I remember visiting his office at work, and thinking how hard he worked and how long his commute was as we passed through several toll booths on the freeway. 

 I remember loving to be with him, he was fun to visit. He was our Super Grandpa!  I was very lucky to have had a few special visits alone. After Grandma and I spent time in the basement of the townhouse sewing, Grandpa would come home from work and go on a bike ride with me or play the piano for me. I especially liked him to play the Entertainer when I was in middle school. One christmas when I was in high school, Grandpa gave me a pink sweater that he had picked out himself. I felt very special, knowing how much he disliked shopping.

 When I graduated from high school, I was able to spend some time with them in Chicago. We sailed on the Blue Note, went to concerts at church, and ate blueberry pancakes. Grandpa would come into the kitchen and give Grandma a hug and a kiss, and call her pudge. Grandma Ginny spent one weekend at a quilting conference, so Grandpa took me on a special date.  We went to Greek town for dinner and to the theater to see Noises Off.  We had a great time together on our date! During that trip, we also toured Chicago on a double decker bus. I liked going to the museums and aquarium in Chicago with them when we visited. 

Grandma and Grandpa came to visit me too after I was married, in Utah, Minnesota, and California.  They came to Utah when I graduated from BYU. Grandpa gave me a hug and whispered in my ear that he was proud of me.  After my graduation, we had dinner in a restaurant in Salt Lake City. In the restaurant, Grandpa got up and sang “Misty” with the pianist. They came to see new babies as we moved around the country, their great-grandchildren. I wanted my children to know and love them as I did.

 I remember grandpa exercising, going out for runs and playing tennis. I remember him working hard. I remember his love and happiness, his pride in the things he accomplished and his musical talents.  I remember their wonderful example of marriage. Grandma Ginny and Grandpa Don loved and served each other and those around them. I’m grateful for the legacy of love they have left us. 


Parts of a Whole

May 8, 2016
We will always remember how …

Grandpa’s legs ran and jumped hurdles, ran across tennis courts, and got him to the church on time.

His hands played the piano and harpsichord.

His hands lifted his children, held our hands, and helped Grandma walk.

His arms gave great hugs to visitors and friends all over Kitsap County.

His blue eyes twinkled with laughter and love. 

His eyebrows let us know when we didn’t follow the rules. Those eyebrows directed the choir in Temple City while his hands and stocking feet played the organ.

His voice sang in church choirs, The William Hall Chorale, The Detroit Symphony Choir, and at many of our weddings.

His brain experimented, invented, and wrote technical papers and books, and then began to let him down. 

His generous spirit kept us all feeling safe and loved.

His heart! It was a good heart that didn't want to stop.
His heart loved all of us, especially Grandma Ginny!

 

The Widower from Choir by Sue Sutherland Hanson

April 26, 2016

You don’t feel like your best self when you fall apart,

but you have to fall apart to become your best self. Richie Norton

 

We used to sing with him, jaunty retiree, in the church choir,

a chemist of metals, a confident man, who oft spoke

of years in the college glee club. He played tennis,

spry, in control, exuded wavy-haired charm, bordering

on arrogance. He leapt at solos, corrected mates freely

while his wife, G., smiled at her prince charming. 

 

I saw him the other day, years later, frail

standing vacant by his car in the market lot.

I didn’t wave.  Last time I saw him with G.,  

he’d forgotten who I was. Or was it her?  

One of them tried to explain our connection

with a tinge of intensity.  I met him cart to cart

 

in bulk foods by the nuts where he looked

hard at me.  I’d heard his wife passed, prompted

his memory, saying I’d sung with him years ago,

said I was sorry ‘bout G’s passing,  it must be hard.

He shook his head, mumbled thanks, how he’s better.

At least now I can say her name without… He stopped,

ran fingers down his cheeks in the path of tears.  

 

Moved, I mumbled, life can be hardYes, he agreed,

this is the hardest thing ever.  I’ve been back to choir

three times and do you know, I couldn’t make heads or tails

of the music the first time. The second time, I got the words

but not the notes, and the last time, I could sing again.  

 

I asked how old he was and he opened his mouth,

but no words came out.  Defeat clouded his face

as he struggled to remember.  Finally he gave up,

it’s a terrible thing not to remember your own age.

I joked we could all use fresh minds like my grandson’s,

as I touched the four-year-old, sitting in the cart.

The man smiled sadly, I need a new brain.   

As we rolled our separate ways, he added, Oh,

I still do technical writing. That’s been good.

 

Less concerned after hearing that, I still needed

to check my list to stay on task. His story round loss

and losing replaced spagetti, half-and half,  and carrots

We passed again in front of the pasta, and without pause

he said, I’m 86. I turned, watched his straight back,

his legs spring jaunty steps, and I set my list down.

Death was not at hand after all.

Letter to Grandpa Don

April 25, 2016

Here is a letter I wrote to Grandpa:

Here are some of my fondest memories. I remember you coming for Christmas and reading us "The Night Before Christmas". I still hear your voice when I read it to my kids around Christmas time. I loved when you would break into song. I loved hearing you play all the different instruments. Maybe especially the harpsichord. I remember, as a child coming and staying with you and grandma at your Townhouse in Illinois. What a treat that was. It was like a dream getting to go out on your yacht. That is one of my favorite memories from my childhood. How cool is my grandpa that he knows how to navigate a sailboat!! I feel like you enriched my life by allowing me to experience special events, like that "concert in the barn". I think that was on Bainbridge Island. I love the warmth of your sweet hugs. You know how to make a girl feel special. I remember you coming down stairs after putting on a dress shirt and the collar was flipped up. I think I told you that it was flipped up and you winked at me and said "I leave it like that so that grandma will fix it for me". Then grandma giggled and fixed your collar. You will always be Super Grandpa, and the twin of Mickey Mouse. I remember always feeling so special when you were around. I appreciate how hard you worked throughout your life. I swell with pride when I tell people that you are a Chemist with several patents and many published papers.  You traveled the world, helping companies with your knowledge and insight.  I appreciate how you loved grandma. What a beautiful example of love and marriage. I love that when you smile it lights up your whole face and you always seems to have a twinkle in your eyes. I am still impressed by your fitness level. How fun that you played Tennis for so long. I know that I have been so blessed to have such a sweet grandpa. I know that I am where I am today because of your love and contributions into my life. Thank you for your love. I am so proud of you. 

  Love Joy

Letter to Don

April 17, 2016

                                                                             March 19, 2016

  

Dear Big Brother

 A lot of people never get to tell the people they love how much they appreciate them, so I’m writing this little note to do just that.

 I want to thank you for looking out for me when I was a little girl, for carrying me home when I was hit in the mouth with a swing-board, for teaching me about tolerance and consideration of others, for showing me, by example, how hard work and honesty leads to success.  You, of course, had all the brains and talent in the family, and you used those attributes to become successful in your life. 

You have brought joy to so many people through your music and you have contributed so much to others through your business acumen.  I certainly don’t understand the plating world, but we all know that you did so much for your colleagues and the world.

 I was always proud of my big brother – even though you teased me a lot.  I think that’s because you loved me, though.

 Thanks, also, for marrying Ginny, who became one of my closest friends.  You let me tag along with you two, and I had a lot of fun.  And then you two raised four great kids, and the generations go on and on.

 It’s a privilege to be your little baby sister, and I love you very much.

Biggest Fan

April 16, 2016

Dear Dad,

I am missing you. It is hard to loose your biggest fan in life. I too like Cherie remember all the wonderful family vacations we took growing up and then even family reunions. I have a love for the ocean and the moutains because you gave that to us. Being the baby of the family when we played capture the flag I was usually on your team. You often grabbed me up and ran through the trees to get to home base. You held me tight on the tobagans sliding in the snow.   You played basketball in the driveway and serinaded us with that parlor grand piano as Mom prepared dinner. I would sit under the piano and listen or hide there if I was mad or in trouble. It was my secure place.You gave me a love for music; classical jazz boogie woogie hymns pop musicals...........

You actually set an example that we found hard to live up too. You defied odds with your back issues and made a paralyzed foot seem normal. You were still trying to play tennis and work out in the gym at 87 year old! Excercise was your moto. I haven't mastered yet.

I love your laugh and the joyful sound of your voice when we talked on the phone.  

Your generosity was never ending and through your giving you have hepled thousands of children and people around the world.  I can't thank you enough for that quality that was an example and inspiration to others. I have trusted in my heavenly father and stepped out in faith trusting He will see me through because I had an earthly father who was so trust worthy kind and loving.  

As all of us parents we know we fall short there is no such thing as a perfect parent as much as we want to be. But you made our lives easier because of how you lived. You layed a foundation in our lives and each of us has used that to build on, to help others and be an asset to the world around us. You were proud of each one of us.

I don't know too many people who get hugs in every venue, barber shops UPS offices, banks, resturants, church and probably more than I experienced. I want to be more like you. That when I walk into a place of business or home or worship that people want to be around me because they feel loved.

You were misunderstood a mystery. The work you did was above most of our knowledge. As children we described your work once as a mad scientist!  We each have memories of your labortories but had no idea of how you were impacting our world growth and inventing processes that were changing the next generations. Even in Jan of 2016 I heard stories I never knew!
Top Secret and traveling to far places. You were an expert in your field and it seemed like you were most concerned about getting that knowledge to a place it could be used and not lost or wasted and so the journey of uploading your papers to plating world (which changed and had its own challenges) But it began and became you biggest mission to the end. Cherie came along side you and will try to finish up so your work can continue on and your knowledge a plateau for others to build from. 

You gave your best Dad and that is all any of us can do. Forever missed and loved and hopefully honored by our lives. You were my biggest fan and I am your.

Dear Dad

April 15, 2016

                                                                                  March 28, 2016 

 One year for your birthday, I sent you a homemade card with a photo of you balancing me on your hand. I wrote inside, “You held me up, and you never let me down.”  That was a long time ago, but still true. You have aged into the kindest, sweetest, most generous gentleman I have ever known. 

When I was growing up, you took us on many adventures, vacations, and weekend outings. You took us camping, and on hikes in the mountains. Remember the rattlesnake story? We got to spend weeks at Balboa, had weekend trips to the mountain cabin in Twin Peaks. We were lucky to have yearly trips to Disneyland, or Knotts Berry Farm.  We went snorkeling , swimming, and surfing at the beach. There was also that big camping trip on the way back from Baltimore to Temple City, CA.  And my last trip with the family, when I was 17, we camped and drove to Vancouver and Victoria, camped at Lake Tahoe and visited the TV set of Bonanza.  What a wonderful childhood you gave us! 

 I remember being very proud of you as a child.  I was excited and proud to move to the new Barela house in 1960.  I thought we were rich because that brand new modern house cost $27,000! You made that possible because of your hard work and long hours in your labs in L.A. and Santa Fe Springs. At the lab in LA it was fun to mix two chemicals in glass vat and watch them changed from clear to purple!

 You taught me how to drive. You told me to always expect the unexpected from children and animals near the street.  You were firm and patient – probably because I was a good driver! Plus you gave me your car, a 1956 convertible VW.  It makes me happy to think of that car with the blue and purple flowers painted on top.

 As an adult, I learned from you, how to save and invest.  I want you to know that the inheritance that you are leaving to us is going to change our lives.  I have just barely saved enough to retire. The money I inherit will make the rest of my life secure and give me many more choices.  We have all benefitted from your generosity; you have “saved the day” and forgiven loans and modeled how to use money.  You taught me to always have an emergency fund, and to make good choices about money. 

We’ve had a family trip to Iowa and treasured reunions at Sky Mountain, Colorado and the Jacobsen’s ranch in Idaho. Best of all, I’ve gotten to visit you and Mom often at my “resort,” the “Baudrand Inn,” the beautiful house that Jim built in Poulsbo.

 I watched you lovingly take care of Mom for five years.  You set a great example for all of us.  I always felt closer to Mom, so I am very glad to have this time, when you and I have grown very close.  I love you. Now I get to hold you up and help you balance!    

 With much love and gratitude for your life,

   Cherie

The Morning Routine 2014

April 15, 2016

Dad took care of Mom for over five years. His loving care is an example to all of us. I did my best to come over every two weeks for a 3 day weekend. I wanted to give Dad a break, but mostly he took care of me too! I love my Poulsbo resort.

Dad and Mom had a morning routine. Dad helped Mom with her robe and slippers and helped her down the stairs. While Mom sat in her red recliner, Dad ran out to get the newspaper, and would give it to Mom with a cup of coffee, after adding vanilla creamer and a packet of sweetener.

Dad would put out the placemats, get the bowls, juice glasses, and place a prune on each spoon. He'd retrieve the pillbox and put Mom's morning pills next to her bowl, then run upstairs to put her night pills in a little red dish on the bathroom counter.

Mom would read aloud from the paper while Dad poured a combination of cereals with dried blueberries, cherries or banana, milk, and juice.  He'd get out an assortment of vitamins and supplements to keep them healthy. Mom would say, "I don't feel well. I think I had a nightmare last night." He'd help her to the stool, which he carefully positioned at the counter, where he'd hold the cushion with one hand and steady the chair with the other,  Next, he'd push the chair up to the counter.  Mom would say, "Do I have to take all these pills?" About half way through her cereal, she would say, "I'm not very hungry. I don't think I can finish this."  Mom would say to me, "Cherie, you’re not enunciating." Then I'd run upstairs and get two sets of hearing aids. I'd hand a pair to Dad, and put Mom's on her ears. After breakfast, Dad would help Mom back to the recliner, and he would load the dishwasher, put the placemats and cereal away and wipe off the counter. Their day began this way for nearly everyday of the last five years. Dad enjoyed taking care of his sweetie.   

Share a story

 
Add a document, picture, song, or video
Add an attachment Add a media attachment to your story
You can illustrate your story with a photo, video, song, or PDF document attachment.