I'm not a big sharer. For many of you this will be the first time you've seen me share my life in a very long time. Especially when it comes to grief, I internalize my feelings until I understand them and then pass through moments until they make logical sense to me. But today I feel the need to open up, to share what I am deeply feeling at this moment.
There is nothing that will ever help me fully understand the sudden passing of my father at such a young age, other than the fact that we all perish. He was one of the greats.
I know how much your interactions with him will help you will understand what I'm about to say. I see that in the outpouring of love my family has experienced in people remembering him through contributions on his tribute page, in loving support through cards, emails, hugs, phone calls, dinners, cards and condolences. I know it in shared stories of your fond remembrances of him, his awesome hugs and his good hearted nature.
I share your loss deeply. I also share your feelings of joy in his life and sorrow in his departure. I am sorry for your loss because I understand what it means to lose someone you love and respect.
But I am his daughter and as much as you understood the man as you knew him, there is no way you can appreciate the depths of him on a personal level. He was the PROUDEST husband, father, grandfather, great-grandfather....more than you could possibly understand in your exchanges with him.
I don't say that to diminish your love and appreciation for him, his friendship and affection...your loss. I say this in some infinitesimally small way to help you understand that he was so much more than even your best memory of him can describe. Your short interactions with him are only a peek into the man he was to his family.
They can only incrementally compare to a lifetime of ups and downs and the incredible undying, unconditional love showed through my short 37 years with him. They are only a small piece of the magnificently dedicated, loving man that he was.
He was my daddy.....He is the best part of me.
He molded us, shaped us. He was our cornerstone...our rock, our anchor through any storm. He was our family leader, financial leader, our counselor....but most of all our spiritual leader.
Dad was the one who guided us to our Heavenly Father in all things good and bad. My dad showed us through our whole life how we could lean on the greatest Father of all. The One who loves us beyond all comprehension. He taught of and displayed God through love and grace. He guided us to Him in all things. Our lives are deeply and forever impacted by his commitment to God and a life lived in Christ.
Today my only solace through the incredible loss experienced by one of the greatest men ever to live, is knowing that he guided me to my Heavenly Father. And in that I have confidence I will see my daddy again. I will experience being wrapped in one of those "best hugs ever". I will get to talk with him and experience his presence again. Except that I know the next time I see him it will be in the presence of my Heavenly Father.
Until then, I know that my earthly father is celebrating in his perfect body...forever praising and worshipping my Heavenly Father until the day we meet again. In that I take great comfort and I pray you do too