It's now 12 years that I haven't seen your beautiful face or heard your loud voice; I genuinely miss them. It's been some time since I've felt the sting of today, like the initial day, and I can't even tell you why it was triggered, but it was. I woke up thinking about how we'd left each other, you were mad that I wasn't in a hurry to get you to the bus for your trip to Indy. You were always mad at me for being late or procrastinating; you certainly didn't get that from me. You always told me something was an hour early just so I wouldn't make you late, I would be upset at the time, but inside it was so funny; you just knew me. I remember being so angry that you'd told me about the event at the last moment, so I did take my time because we'd had other obligations that morning. That bus waited for us, we were 45 minutes late, and that damn bus waited for us; for you. When you got out of the car, I said, "I love you," and you barely said it back until I repeated it, louder when you closed the door. You then turned around in annoyance and yelled, "I love you too, ma, I gotta go." I am so sorry I left you upset. I am so sorry, so sorry. I still have that scarf you wore to get on the bus, your clothing, shoes, and coat; broken jewelry. I can't even begin to tell you how this all makes no sense; it just doesn't. I don't care how much time passes and how you learn to live with the heartache; it doesn't take away the absence of someone you birth to this world, someone you carried for nine months.

Dorian, 
 God knows I think of you more often than not. I miss everything about you and there's so many memories I cherish. Heaven couldn't wait for you. I know you're surrounded by so many family members now, and I feel better knowing what great company you are in. I love you ALWAYS & FOREVER
Happy 26th Birthday