Dear Daddy,
In line with your wishes, I will keep this SIMPLE, PRACTICAL, and MEANINGFUL.
My earliest memories with you are those moments when as you would let me ride on your knee as a child and when you would carry me on your shoulders and you would run around the house. You were a disciplinarian then and you would tell me you only picked me up from the trash can when I was misbehaving.
Above all else, I know you are a TEACHER.
As a teenager, you taught me the value of education. You always tell me when I would get low grades that I don’t have to like the subject but I still have to study it. But you also taught me that academics are not everything and that I should have a balanced life. To engage in sports and engage in other interests outside schoolwork, sorry that I did not take up tennis like you asked me to. You have taught me how to enjoy life. I know you always pursued QUALITY OF LIFE, and that it is not how many years you live but how many happy moments you have collected.
You told me to pursue whatever career interests me, and you always made sure you provided me with all the information to make the right choice for myself. You have always encouraged me to be independent minded, to learn how to think for myself and to do things for myself. You always taught me to be innovative, and modern, and keep up with the times. I remember that as early as when I was in high school, you gave me an Apple II computer already.
You showed me that we should not be afraid to make mistakes and learn from them. When I drove your new Red Toyota Corolla when I was in high school, without asking for permission, and got into an accident by hitting a tree in the driveway, I was so sure you would get mad when you learn of what I had done. When you arrived home, the first thing I said was “Daddy, you can punish me anyway you can, I drove your car, and hit a tree.” And you told me simply, “That’s ok, make sure you don’t get a phobia of driving, and keep learning how to drive.”
You taught me to set financial goals and not to be afraid to take business risks. When I asked to borrow money to invest in a restaurant business, I told you that the investment, like any business, has a good pay-off but of course will be full of risks. You casually said, “In life, no risk, no fun.” By your example, you have also taken lots of business risks, and now I know taking risks is all part of the fun of life.
You have the gift of showing us that the most difficult problems are nothing to be afraid of. You always say “Ah, wala yan!” or “That’s nothing!”, no matter how big or serious the problem may be to us, especially if it is a medical condition. Now I know that you were never belittling us or our situation, you were only showing us that we should be confident in handling our problems, that we can and should learn to handle it on our own. Or just to show us that the problem is not that big anyway, making us ALWAYS feel much better after talking to you about our problems.
You have taught me that PEACE OF MIND is very important and that we should always pursue this. You taught me the value of SERVICE, that we live on this earth not for ourselves but for others and that is the only way to make our lives MEANINGFUL. I know that you were always busy with your work to make ends meet when we were young, but I know very well that you loved your work especially the part where you were helping others and teaching others, and it’s ok with me. You often repeat that we should all live our lives following the Golden Rule- do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
I have also been the target of your disgust- “Use your head!”, “Ang hina ng utak mo!”. I have learned that you are also the same with your students, residents, nurses, staff, household help, and even your friends. I then always said to myself that when you berate us like that we should NOT take it personally, and that this is just your character. Now I realize that you love education and teaching so much, and you are a true educator. I know now that you berate us only because you want us to learn, and to be better. Now I am convinced of the exact opposite- when you berate us we SHOULD take it personally. It means that you love us so much that you PERSONALLY cared and bothered to TEACH us. So it was not just a meaningless expression. It was a personal message of love. So we should take it PERSONALLY.
Your standards are always so high when it comes to anything. You always expect us to anticipate things and have foresight. You get mad when we don’t anticipate things to the point of sometimes expecting us to predict things and see the future or read the minds of others. In the hospital, I have seen you get mad at the nurse for not anticipating how to properly position the pillow on the head of a patient. Standards so high, but always properly placed. If only we could reach them to make you happy, but we know you placed the bar high for a reason. You have all the right to expect us to anticipate things and have foresight. This is because you are also the same to us. I know more than ten years ago, you anticipated the inevitable, and you bought an urn for your ashes, and prepared us all for this moment. You also made sure to provide and prepare for your family.
You have always pointed out the things wrong in this world, and you are one of the few remaining true and pure idealists. Steve Jobs said that it is those people who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world that actually do. People may have thought you were crazy for being too generous and idealistic, but shame on us for just not believing in you. You have lived your life to the fullest, you taught us to enjoy life also, and you lived your life in your own unique way and in accordance with your own rules- and you shown us that that is really the only way to live.
You were very generous as to your time, resources, and efforts. You have given everything you could give to this world. Your passion for life is fueled by your COMPASSION for others and passion to help those in need.
Even to the last moment you gave your life so that you could be a classical medical textbook case, and even to the last moment you were teaching your doctors, nurses and us how to properly treat a patient. Even to the last moment you brought your FAMILY closer to each other and to GOD, when you requested that all 5 of us pray before the grotto at home.
I thank God for this moment, where we now are given the chance to reflect on your life, and how knowing you whether as a son, student, colleague, friend, business partner, has INFECTED us permanently. I thank God for sharing you to us and allowing us to learn from Him through you.
At first I cry without knowing why. Maybe they are tears of sadness since you are no longer with us. Maybe they are tears of joy knowing that you are at peace. Now I know they are simply TEARS OF LOVE.
To keep things simple, practical and meaningful, as you would have wanted, I just want to say that I love you very much, and I know that you love me, and I know now this is the only thing that matters.
I salute you, Daddy, my hero!
Edson