Mom and Dad, I wanted to share my Holiday story with you. You would be very happy to hear I spent it with Aunt Mattie.  Yes, I know that is a wish you have had for both us for many years.  See, dreams can come true with guardian angels from above.  We had a wonderful weekend together with Sandy & Casey.  We stayed at Barona Casino in beautiful rooms and the tempature was almost 80 degrees. You two would have loved it. We got to talk and reminisce about times in Maine with you and Dad. We laughed at Casino stories and how much Dad really loved to gamble.  I know where my desire to gamble comes from comes from :)  

I am proud to tell you I made it thru this Holiday season because I reached deep inside and found inner strength I never knew I had.  Mom, you always told me I was a strong woman.  That I could overcome anything I faced.  That I would hold my head up high with dignity; you were right Mom.  I have faced adversity like I never thought possible this past year after Dad passed in July.  All the horrbile stories you hear about families being torn apart are true.  I thought my brothers would be there for support, but instead they were very angry you put me in charge. Grief affects us all differently and there are no time frames; I had hoped our family would have stood united. I told you & Dad there would be problems but you insisted I would do the right thing. I would know what had to be done because I had the experience and most of all the strength. Well I did Mom, I know you and Dad are proud of me. Time will heal their pain and anger; I pray for them each day. 

I promise you & Dad, I will be there for Dylan and Max just like you and Dad were their entire life.  We are very close and I am so grateful for my two wonderful nephews. They are extaordinary young men and they would make you and Papa proud. It is not easy without you because they miss you very much.  They still do not talk about it openly. But just know I am here for them whenever they need me and they both know that.  I hope to have them spend next Christmas with me Mom in San Diego.  They are very excited to come here....I will make it a special visit for them, one they will always remember and cherish.   

I know you &  Dad are together and watching over us here.  I can feel it and it gives me great comfort.  I will see you both again and until I do, rest assured you are in my thoughts evey day and I send love your way.  

I Love you Mom and Dad more than you know, Vicky

I have so many different feelings and memories with respect to mom.  I am learning how mom impacted and shaped my life in ways I did not see until now.  Mom believed strongly in being a stay at home mom.  Fortunately for us, she could afford to do that.  I remember getting out of grammar school and running up Lincoln St and seeing Mom and my dog Trixie waiting for me. After we got home, I'd watch my favorite TV show, "Dark Shadows".  Mom said, "Are you watching that again?  That show is scary and you should not be watching it Missy".  But she let me:0) 

Everyday at 3:45pm on the dot, Dad would call mom to ask what she needed for supper.  Always milk for breakfast ....and she asked us if we wanted anything special. I said yes!  Dad would bring me a bag of Doritos, my favorite!  Another special occasion was when Dad got paid.  We got Damon's pizza or Italian sandwiches.  We loved it, best night ever.  Maybe that is where Jeff and I get our intense love of pizza!   

Every Sunday we would go to camp, but first we stopped at A&W Root beer on Western Ave. Dad got 2-two gallon jugs of root beer.  He handed them to us thru the open back window of the station wagon and with root beer in hand, we would now head to our favorite Sunday retreat - swimming for so many hours in the lake that our hands & feet shriveled up and our lips turned blue!  Pure Heaven!

I also remember Mom making my birthday cake, every year.  She never bought a cake, she always baked it herself.  I got my favorite meal, KFC and my Chocolate Cake with Peanut Butter frosting. Yum!  She did not have to ask, she knew.  

Our lives were not perfect but we were happy. We did not have alot but we wanted for nothing. Mom taught us that there were many children less fortunate. We appreciated what we had, took care of our possessions and  were grateful. To me, love was the ultimate gift one could have. 

I felt tremendous love from my parents, total guidance and later their respect.  In the years prior to achieving Mom's respect, there were many times I turned her hair grey!  MANY! Later we both laughed and agreed those learning experiences/differences brought us closer together and we developed a mutual respect as a parent and a daughter. 

I am extremely independent, vocal and strong willed.  A trait I saw Mom articulating more strongly her last few years.  I learned she was much more independent than we knew.  I also learned I am more like my Mom than I knew.  Mom left a daughter who learned how never to be without a job no matter what the circumstances.  I appreciate and value my independence and will always strive to be the best I can.  I will be there for my brothers, and Dylan and Max.  Mom you don't have to worry, I will do it for you. I miss our talks. Love you, Vicky