My Eddie (aka My Ediby) Today marks 2 years since you said Goodbye. It's never gotten easier not having you here.  Unfortunately the anniversary of this very heart breaking day comes right before the holidays, one being your most favorite, Thanksgiving. I would so love more then anything in this world to be able to have you sit at the table again and share another meal. I can honestly say it's very hard not having you with us. I miss you every single day. I still feel your presence when I walk in your room. I feel lost when I come home and look to talk to you at night and your not here. It's still taking me time to realize that your not here and I can't just visit you in the hospital, that I'm really not going to see you or talk to you again. I spend time battling depression of you not being here and not being able to care for you anymore. It's left a huge void in my life. I think about the last two years of your life and it saddens me to the core of my being. It makes me feel scared, guilty, confused, hurt and unsure. Then I think to the years before and all the memories we made, things you were able to do as if you were not sick or handicapped. . Swim, go down the slide, building fires, ride a 4 wheeler, ride the amusements at the shore, vacations to name a few and I pray that I made a difference in your life. I miss you so much it hurts buddy!! I love you!!

Well Eddie .aka My Eddiby.. Today marks a year that you nodded to me and made the decision to say goodbye. A rough year it's been. The hardest part for me is still envisioning the moment you nodded to me. Everyday for me has been a  struggle of missing you and wishing you were still here to talk to, take care of and that we could turn back time. Everyday for you I hope that there has been no wheelchair,  needles, medicines or pain. Most of all I hope your at peace.  Your family has thought of, remembered,  reminisced, and shared the funniest to the fondest memories of you. Your never forgotten, your name is still mentioned almost like your still here. We are grateful for the time we were able to spend with you and have you be a part of our lives. its hard wishing we had more time with you. it's really tough missing you as our hearts ache with sadness. You will always be very special to us. Your family will continue to hold our memories and all the things you have taught us close in our  hearts. We will never let your memory fade.

FINAL DAYS WITH MY BROTHER

As I sit by your side I watch the final count down to the beating of your heart on a machine while glancing to my left to see out your window the CLOSEST MOON TO THE EARTH IN YEARS fall lower then glancing to my right to stare into your eyes and watch closely as you take your last breath I feel as if I can't breathe myself as I gasp for air between the tears falling down my face and my own heart beating so rapidly it feels like I've taken on your heartbeat as well as my own. I let my mind wonder to how your pain free at last and won't suffer anymore. Your here with the people who you love and that love you back. I am so grateful to have had the privilege to take care of you and give you a loving home and to love you as much as you deserved as well as time to spend with you during your last days here with us. YOU ARE A TRUE FIGHTER AND THE BRAVEST PERSON I KNOW. Now its time for your final transport home.. YOUR HOME NOW.. I will miss you dearly and keep you with me and love you always xo

I love you my EDDIBY!