Mom, it's the first time since your passing, we truly celebrated Christmas. We cooked this Christmas! Lots of food and many meats on the menu. Just like you always did, just as it used to be even when you couldn't do it.
Storm is over, but a new storm is brewing. A new year with new expectations and new problems. 

I wanted to be home this Christmas to wash the crockery in the cabinet, to change the table cloth and put on that Christmas table cloth and to put up the Christmas lights.
I did go home but none of those were done as I reached home late.
I missed you and I remembered you so much!
You would keep my company when I am in the kitchen doing the last minute baking, frying fish, pot roasting beef, roasting chicken. You were my little trooper! You used to stay awake just to keep my company. Eils, Old girl, I really miss you!

Birthday 2022

Mom, as we approach October 16th, I must pause to be thankful that God chose to blessed us with a virtuous woman like you. So many has come and gone, scarcely touching the edges of our lives but you were an uncommon lady, you left a lasting impression in our lives. Thank you.

Oh boy, I remember Mom in so many happy ways. Sometimes I feel 'so missing' her but then, some happy memories flood my mind.
My Sister is sharing the story above about me. But honestly, I started flying before Superman and Wonder Woman. They got the flying from me. I thought I would be a pilot and I guess Mom thought so too but then the take off is fine but the landing wasn't great so I keep out of the skies.
Yes we used to have great times as children, and great times at home.
I look outside and see the sun and feel the heat - which tells me that we are in the heights of Summer. And I remember how we would be gearing up for Independence Day in August when we would go to the popular Denbigh Agricultural Show. School would be on vacation and that would be a highlight of summer vacation.

If there's a phone in Heaven, then Jesus, put me through and give me one more chance to tell her that I love ❤ her. As I pause to reflect during this time, I remember as kids when mom left us and went food shopping. We decided to try an experiment, my smaller sisters came up with the idea to make my baby sister FLY, they somehow had her holding on to two close by doorknobs while they held her feet, she was instructed to let go off the door and they would let go of her feet and she would fly off, unlike superman and Batman she landed flat on her belly (lol). Of course mom heard all about it when she got home and Beverley got all the blame since I was the bigger sister even though I was about 12-13 years old. For years mom would remind us of such crazy idea and laugh about it, today, we laugh with you mom as we remember how you had to deal with our silliness. Thank you for being there for us. We miss you so, so much.

Mom had a Grace Thriller album.

I didn't think she was going to die. I knew her as a fighter! I recall the days quite clearly, leading up to her demise. 
The Saturday, I was to go home early but I stayed back to do a class recording for a set of students. I called regularly to see if everything was alright at home and could they feed her as I wasn't gonna be home in time. 

A few minutes after I was on my journey, I got a call to say she was coughing and just wouldn't stop. I asked them to give her some water and prop her up but that didn't stop it. I asked them to give her some cough suppressant and it helped. But who was they? They were Jeff and Shannon. Then I heard the neighbour who only visits if she has an interest to know called me on my mom's phone to say she wasn't looking well and still coughing - Oh yeah, that was when I mentioned the cough suppressant.
You see, Jeff was feeding her. He thought he caused it but she said she choked on her saliva.
By the time I got there the coughing subsided. It must have been a helluva coughing because she looked spent - really ashen. She was happy to see me so I took over from everyone.
The talking wasn't so boasty. It was like she circled her words while she uttered them. She told me that she believed she got another stroke but on the right side this time. There was limited movement in the arm (Oh how the tears are flowing as I write), however she did feed herself the turn cornmeal the morning after. She loved turn cornmeal and she loved it soft. I had propped her high in the bed and she was propped high for most of the day.

You know what, I remembered calling my sister's. Sonia was the first one I called and I told her that I didn't like how mom looked. I said, "Sis, if she makes it, she's going to live until October." My mom was somewhat giving me a scare now and again. I was afraid to take her to the hospital because I feared she would not return home.(These tears are just not stopping.)
I was concerned all night Saturday but she was looking good on Sunday. Remember I said she fed herself? Sunday afternoon, she was not able to feed herself and I started feeding her. The food was chewing out of her mouth. I said to myself, stroke!. I gave her some ensure for her dinner. 
I decided to give her soft diet to keep her nourished. I didn't go to work on the Monday. I sent Jeff with a list to purchase, Ensure, Boost and Cereal for her. 
Jeff took so long to return that I thought he lost his way. Mom and I chatted through the day and we both started being concerned about Jeff. 
Putt-putt-putt! Nuh Jeff and his Honda 50?
What a relief! His story was because his bike was not roadworthy, he rode it a part of the way. He left it at White Shop and walked to Spalding. He said he didn't know it was so far. Right now I don't even know if I should laugh or cry because sometimes I wonder about his mental state. Jeff walked almost two miles after he parked the bike. He said he had to take taxi on his way back to get to the bike. (Shake my head.) 
My mother was looking better than the day before. She chatted to all who called. She never once told me that she was leaving. 
I made the decision that I would go to town on the Monday evening and return on the Tuesday. I looked at her, we were joking so I said to myself, no longer than the Wednesday.
She continued to ask about the time; about three to four times. I jokingly asked her if she had a date. She said she didn't want me to be on the road late. (Remembering hurt so much!) I kissed her and jokingly asked her to kiss her pretty daughter. She kissed me on the cheek. It was very close to curfew hours when I left. She told me to call her when I got home. 
I spoke to mom 9:10pm. She asked if everything was alright and how was Matthew. I told her that everything was alright and no problem on the road. 

Tuesday morning the carer called to say Mom was not responding. It was Shannon. Well she said Mom was not moving her hand. I told her that the hand was weak. Apparently, she thought I did not understand and went to call her grandma who called me to say that Mom was not looking good. I told Shannon to tidy Mom and I called Dr. Raju to visit Mom. He reached there in a jiffy and said she needs to go to the hospital. I called a taxi, while they were also looking one to carry her. I met them at the hospital. My mother was unresponsive. (God it seems like yesterday!)
The doctor asked what had caused mom to deteriorate overnight. 
I couldn't answer that. She wanted to know why my mother didn't return to the hospital after she got that stroke February 26, 2011. 
I told her that my mother wasn't I'll. She looked at me, but it was true. She had a stroke and then she was stable.
I talked to my mother who was a soldier all these years. I let her know that we would go through this together. I was prepared to return and stay by her side. 
Late afternoon, she was moved from A&E on to the ward. I saw her settled in. Her church sister and friend called and said to me, "Tell Macky, I love her, just whisper it for me". I gave her the message and named out her children and close grandchildren who loved her. A tear fell so mom was hearing. The nurse aid and a neighbor on the bed told me to dry her eyes.
When I was leaving, I asked person's close by to give an eye. I promised to return early in the morning to bathe her. I went home, thinking how lonely or cold she might be. I didn't sleep well. I wanted to bathe her early. 
I walked in to do my best with Mom but she had passed shortly after I left the evening before.
Forever missed.

I remember when .....
My mother used to go to Frankfield to shop in Scrammy's Commer minivan on a Saturday morning. People, every Saturday mom goes shopping - we usually say ' to the market', she would beat us when she gets home. Why? We never completed our Saturday morning chores. My mother used to love to beat. It was her favorite past time. 
I remembered when we had bathed the dogs and one of the dogs - Easter was her name, got pneumonia and died. Well, when we saw that Easter was not feeling well. We took her and placed under Mom's bed swaddled in dried banana leaves. 
We told her we didn't know the whereabouts of Easter. She called the poor dog for dinner that evening and she didn't see her. That night while seated at the edge of her bed, she was pondering on the dog. She mentioned the dog's name and she heard a thump-thump like an answer. She then called Easter and she was rewarded with a thumping sound and whimpering from under her bed. My mother's room was board flooring. Well, my mother looked under the bed and saw Easter. We had a lot of explaining to do. 
So we got Saturday night licks.