I love you so much! I know you are with me and our babies everyday!!
We see a red cardinal in our yard every time we open the door! I can't wait to get to Heaven to be with you again... I'm sad all the time. My heart is broken! 

I love you so much!!

Hey baby! Today is the 4th of July. One of your favorite days of the year. You love buying a bunch of fireworks, and shooting them off, just for yours and mine entertainment. I know the past 2 years, you and Pop shot them off in our yard, and you guys had a blast..
I told Pop I don't want any fireworks this year, because it just isn't the same without you. A few people told me I should, in honor of you. To celebrate you. People just don't understand, I don't want to celebrate ANYTHING without you. I don't want to have "Fun" without you.
Last year on the 4th, I came home from work to a brand new swimming pool in our yard. I told you I wanted one, and, of course, you obliged. You always did everything you could to make me happy. I miss you so much, baby. Life is boring without you. I will never understand why God gave you to me, then ripped you from me.
I know I'm not supposed to question God. But, it is natural to feel the way I do. He took the only thing that made me happy.
He took Mommie, and then he took you. The only two people that loved me more than anything. Definitely the 2 people I love more than life itself.
I hate my life, without you. I'm scared of everything now. I always felt so protected with you. I never worried about our babies, because you were their everything. Like the time Icky got the nail stuck in his hand. You helped him. You took care of it for him. I always worry now. What if they get hurt? Yes, I know, that is what the vet is for. But, you were their vet, when it came to unnecessary vet visits.
Me and the babies are so lost without you.
I wish I was in Heaven already. The only reason I'm not, yet, is cause of pur babies. Nobody could love them like you and I do. Nobody knows each of their very own personalities that they have. Nobody knows Madea cries when she wants her blanket covering her. Plus, we are the only ones the babies love and trust. I hope I don't die before them. What would happen to them? They'd be separated. They are a family. Literally. The only ones not blood related are Caine and Madea. But, they are husband and wife. And, separating them, would be like God separating me from you.
The day I lose the last baby to God, is the day I'll finally be reunited with you. The love of my life. I know you are waiting for me. I love you so so so much, baby!! Xoxoxo

I love you!!

I love you more today than I did yesterday. I miss youuuu!!

I am lost without you! I miss you so much. Our babies miss and love you. My life is completely upside down without you. You and I had that love that people wish they could find. We were best friends. Soulmates. We were each other's everything. You made my life complete. Now, I am sad and depressed. You made me smile and laugh every single day.
Me and our babies hate our life now. We aren't happy.
Today makes 7 months since you went to Heaven. 210 days without you. I don't know how I've made it one day without you, let alone 210 days. I know you're up there with our Moms. I know you are watching over me and the babies. That doesn't take the pain in my heart away.
I love you baby! I miss the life we had. I'm not living without you. I'm barely existing. I just go through the motions everyday. I try to smile everyday, because I don't want anyone to see me sad. But, inside, my heart is completely broken.
This is a nightmare I'll never wake up from
I love you. I'll always be your wife.