Old friend

Shared by Kim Maloney on December 9, 2020
Dear Annie,
I believe you are the same Ann Craig I went to Jardine Junior High School with and we were roommates on Mt. Carmel in the 70’s. You were briefly also roommates with my sister Candy on Hydraulic. Every time I’ve lived in Wichita I’ve tried to find you. It sounds like your demons lasted a lifetime. I am so sorry. You had just inherited some money and were going to buy a small house. You had a job at one of the aircraft companies.  I was so happy for you.We were good friends. I miss you. 

Sunday Letter to My Angel Mother 10/12/2015

Shared by Nicholette Jones on October 12, 2015

Dear Mom,

Oh how I long to see your face. hear your voice, or just be able to touch
you just one more time. Life has changed so much in the few short the weeks
that you have been gone. I miss you so much that words could not begin to
express the emptiness, hopelessness, and despair that I feel over the loss
of you. I had never even thought of my world without you and something
tells me that even if I had tried I would never have been able to imagine
it hurting this much. Oh what I would give for one more moment or for the
chance to have been able to be here with you that night so that maybe I
could have helped you to see a better solution but because of my own
selfish choices I was in jail therefore even if you had thought of talking
to me that night you were faced with the fact that once again I had screwed
up and because of that you couldn't have talked to me even if you had
wanted to. Oh how i wish that I would have seen the signs. Hell who knows
maybe there more obvious signs but I was probably to busy worrying about me
and what I wanted as usual to stop and slow down and see that you were
hurting more than usual. I will never be able to forgive myself for not
being there for you in whatever capacity it is that you may have needed at
that time. I love you so much mom! You truly were the only person other
than my kids that loved me even when the times were bad. I can remember
that even if you weren't happy about what I was doing in my life at any
given moment you wouldn't hesitate to give me your opinion and tell me all
about it but somehow at the same time you always made sure that I knew that
you loved me. Momma I'm scared now! I'm scared because without you I don't
have any to love me unconditionally and to be there for me when I really
need someone because that person has always been you. And I hurt so bad
that it's not just a hurt inside my heart it's a hurt that goes all the way
to the core of my being. It's a hurt I have never known and wish upon
everything on this Earth that I could find a way to make it go away. I
thought when it first happened that the pain and hurt would go away with
time but for me everyday the hurt and pain seems to increase to the point
to where some days it takes all I have to get up, do something, and breath.
And lately I have found myself to be so angry. Angry at what I really don't
know. And then of course there's my biggest thought, concern,or worry I'm
really not sure which of these it is but basically It is that you didn't
love me. I think about this often and have asked almost every person I know
that knew you. But at the end of the day I realize that you did love me to
the best of your ability and by that I mean you loved me the best way you
knew how based upon the life that you had as a child. I want you to know
that I'm not angry anymore about what did or didn't happen in my life as a
child. You truly were the best mother that you knew how to be. I'm sorry
that you had to carry all the demons from your past around. I wish that I
could have done things different in my own life that maybe just maybe would
have in turn made your life a little bit better. I'm sorry for all the
things I have done that may have caused you any pain or sorrow. I love you
and I wish that I could be with you! So to the best mother I could have
asked for Here's To Our Last Goodbye It Was One Hell Of An Amen! And Til I
See You Again May You Rest In Peace!

Nicholette Jones, Daughter of Elizabeth Craig 04/01/1952 to 08/28/2015

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