My dear Elmira,  I have been thinking about you for days.  Imagine waking this morning to find forever missed and a chance to write how much I love you and miss you.  Of course you were so strongly on my mind!!  Very few times go by that I don't remember you, your friendship and the many laughs we shared.  I still tell the story to friends about you "having a book for me to read", breakfasts and all the lovely tea parties we had together.  28 years of friendship!!  I hope you are having a great time whether out and about inter-dimensionally or reincarnated may you be filled with joy and wonderment.  My love only grows  Kathy Skolem 

happy birthday dear grammie
thinking of you today and every day
spring is just begining to melt the edges of a very stubborn winter
snow drops and crocuses are triumphantly peeking their heads above the drifts
the boys have become the fine young men you knew they'd be
soon they will be taking  me  by the hand
to see the sweet lilly of the valley
blooming just outside our door 
a smell that reminds us all of you
closing my eyes
i can hear your laugh mixed with tears
feel your hand on mine
know your heart is with me always
i love you
xox
s 

Please not this was an entry by LOUISE LUMEN using my account. 

We both think of her so often. Miss you Elmira and Mary. 

Ever since Elmira embarked on the next stage of her journey, I've intended to share this exquisite experience I had with her when I came to Long Island for my first teaching job in Huntington in 1967.

The weather was still warm enough to swim, even at night! After having supper with Elmira and John at Ingerlea, I wandered alone down the path to the mill dam. As I sat there I looked at the water flowing over the sluice gate as the tide was going out. To my astonishment I saw that the water was sparkling with countless tiny lights - like stars. Having just come from my home in the midlwest, this was an unknown wonder.

I raced back up to the house in high excitment to tell Elmira to come see whatever this was before it might end. "Oh," she said, "haven't you ever seen that? It's the phosphorus in the salt water." And, typical of her, she followed that up with "We have to go swimming!" (REALLY?!!!  I thought)

We jumped into our suits and drove around Bouten Rd to the little cove off the channel between the harbor and the bay. The tide was not fully out, so there was enough water to swim. I rushed right in and splashed around activating all those ting living lights - at times raising one arm straight up and creating a waterfall of stars cascading down on myself. Then I looked around and in the trees that lined three sides of the cove, millions of fireflies were blinking on and off. And on that clear moonlit night, I looked up into the dome of the sky and it, too, was sparkling with bizillion stars.

Trillions of tiny specks of light in the water I was floating in, in the trees rooted to the earth around us, and filling the night sky that enfolded it all. I can somewhat describe the look of that night, but it's impossible to put into words the transcendent feeling of it all.

As I have thought of that experience over the years, it has always seemed like a kind of initiation into the wonder of who Elmira is and the herald of all the people, ideas, and spiritual and creative practices she introduced me to, that have lighted my life's path for forty-some years. Like all of us, Elmira wasn't perfect, but oh, what a bright light she has been in my life! And I shall be ever grateful.

Written by Louise Lumen. 

Family that were able to come to celebraion came from these places around the world. But I probably missed some folk so my apologies! Did it in the middle of the night. :)

I have never seen a baby who looked so much like his adult self. Same face!

Forty years ago I was so blessed when I met Mary Muhlhausen and Elmira Ingersoll and their families. I was 20 years old. They became sisters, mentors, grandmothers and friends. They both showered me with unconditional love and acceptance. Mary encouraged me to express with confidence my creative side. We shared that creative drive. I would send her my poems and pictures and she sent me the same. I was so moved to receive a copy of her book in type before it was complete or published. She treated me as a total equal and I never felt the difference in our ages.Elmiraintroduced me to so many things from foods, plants, books and the list goes endless on. I first learned about Quaker meeting from her. I had tea with them, real tea not something you go to a tea room for! We laughed and talked for hours. I will never forget and always cherish the laughter. We spent holidays together. My friend Louise, Mary,Elmiraand I became a special group. We watched Masterpiece Theater together so many Sunday evenings while we ate elegant leftovers at Mary’s table then to the den for ice cream or fruit. We took trips, celebrated birthdays and shared so many quiet evenings by the fire. Long walks by the water or in the woods were everyday fare. When people become so interwoven in your life it is hard to imagine your life without them.Elmirapassed away Feb. 6th at the age of 102. Mary had died 2 years ago also at the age of 102. Their lives touched so many people. I am blessed to still be connected with many of those people and their families and friends. There is sadness and joy. The circle that was woven by their presence and love will go on though it is changed. Their home was called Harmony House and it truly was. It is there I would go and as I entered the door I would feel the strength, delight and tranquility of that place. I wonder now where I will go, where will my journey lead. There is fear that the circle will be broken that was formed by them. Can those of us who were privileged to have shared the association be able to stay connected? We will all have to work in a different way to continue our bond. 

I have so many marvelous stories, pictues and videos that it would be hard to choose. I will contribute more later.  

Today I sponsored a Tibetan Buddhist puja for the dead for Elmira at the Urgyen Samten Ling Temple in Salt Lake City, Utah.  It was a beautiful clear sunny day with a fresh snowfall, and the service provided me with the "field... out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing" from the Rumi quote, and Elmira met me there.  Her beauty, joy, love, and passionate interest in TKOS were manifested in every flower, every beam of light, every whiff of incense and splash of water and chime of bell and drumbeat and chant and smile and sharing of food and curiosity about people and places and ideas and books, books, books.  Among so many, many other books, ideas, activities, and people, Elmira and Aunt Mary introduced me to the Tibetan Book on Death and Dying.  As I closed my eyes and let the puja envelope me, I relived countless moments I spent with Elmira.

This morning before the puja, I found an old letter from Elmira.  She had written it on the back of a photocopy of a poem by Susan McLaughlin (she was so good at sending me quotes that she knew would resonate with me!):
   "Notice the moments between one thing and another
    Soft, delicate shift between two things.....
    The fleeting second from last breath to non-living
     The inconspicuous moment when grief becomes a memory...
      Simple moments...
      The last sentence in a book...
       When sorrow becomes joy
        And alone becomes connected."   

Thank you, Elmira, for the joys of so many connections. 
 

As she led so many of us to wise written words in many shapes and forms, this line became Grammie's catchphrase, of sorts. 

Kathy Fitch and Brad Fitch sing the song "John's Reminder" in this celebration of Grammie's 100th birthday in 2010.

Make sure you watch it all the way to the end.

Directed by Biju VIswanath.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O2kHb434e0 

thank you laura grunfeld for this wonderful video
of a most treasured family gathering...

Grammy personified abundance.  Abundance of love, joy, wisdom, peace, compassion, grace, color, beauty, humor, nurturing, sharing, joi de vivre. 

I loved sitting on the floor at her feet, looking up at her in her rocking chair in the cabin in Vinalhaven. If I could see auras, hers would be violet and gold.  She glowed warmth and wisdom.  I felt her healing spirit and listened to her wise counsel.  She seemed to me too good to be true.  

 I do not remember my grandmothers - they passed when I was very young. So, little did she know that I adopted her as Grandmother. I didn’t see her much and wrote to her periodically.  She always answered my letters immediately.  She had so many people in her life, I couldn’t believe she had time for me.  But she did! She had the gift of making anyone she was with feel special and loved.

I feel blessed to have known her.

I remember her sliding down the hill in Lyme - laughing like a little girl - as  this was the most precious experience of her life!

And the hats!! I will always picture her with a colorful hat , usually at some jaunty angle.  I think I will try to copy her and wear pretty hats.

And I will try to copy the way she lived.

Thank you, Grammy 

Namaste, Emily

Grammie attributed this one to my Dad, but shared it so many times she made it her own: 

"We are all Teaching...all the Time"

.

When I moved to Sedona Elmyra (I have always spelled her name  this way) and Mary came out to visit.  The year of the Halleys Comet. They came for 10 days.  Every night we went to a different type of restuarant trying all the ethnic foods Sedona had to offer. What a time we had!!  The night of the passing of the comet I took the ladies out towards Red Rock Canyon on Dry Creek Road to view the comet in the desert.  As magic seemed to always happen when with them,  in the middle of this desert "field",  in the middle of the night,  we ran across astronomers who had their telescopes out and there we sat with the best views you can imagine.  In celebrating their arrival and departure my friends and I put on a big dinner party for them.  Everyone fell in love .  The ending of this story was Elmyra sitting in the kitchen with the handsome son of the governor of Kentucky, who was one of my friends at the party.  You can imagine her joy.

From a Child's view
1987 thesis excerpt with loving thanks now and in the years to come, Annie 

To Mom who:
    Sings lullabies.
    Cooks and serves delicious meals.
    Creates flower arrangements that speak.
    Welcomes friends and strangers into our lives.
    Appreciates and shares her love of the arts.
    Provides encouragement and support.
    Reads aloud, punctuated with laughter and tears.
    Extends healing hands.
    Plants and tends  flower gardens.
    Makes costumes and doll clothes.
    Takes a stand for worthy causes.
    Loves traditions and seasonal rituals.
    Pursues ideas and avenues for personal growth.
    Dances with grace particularly with daddy.
    Makes Peace.
    Tells family stories with technicolor detail.
    Paints pictures with her words.
    Laughs until she weeps, weeps until she laughs.
    Addresses peoples needs with compassion.
    Goes shopping for others with the spirit of a child.
    Curls her lip and snaps her toes-in public!
    Stays up late at night to talk and share.
    Loves to have adventures and explore new places.
    Leads the way to museums, concerts movies and plays.
    Takes classes ,teaches classes.
    Plays the piano.
    Loves beach walks and picnics no matter what the season.
    Writes weekly letters to  her children when they are away from home.
    Teaches us Mumbledy Peg and Jacks.
    Adores and invites spontaneous happenings.
    Maintains inexhaustible energy and joie de vivre!
    Initiates and orchestrates family celebrations.
    Loves Us!!
    


 

My mind wanders, but leads back to you. I am thinking now of the letters, the time and moments shared. I am thinking of everything I loved most when I visited, everything I looked forward to. Staying in your special room, getting to see your fish necklace, eating out of the grape-fruit bowls, easter and the excitment it brought, thanksgiving with the family and you at the table. I feel extremely special to have known you for as long as I did, oh so special. You will forever be a special person to me, someone who amazed me with stories from years ago, how could someone remember so much over so much time? I love you, I do, I miss you, I do, and you will always be alive in my heart and thoughts. I know peace is with you now and I will forever send love and happiness your way. 

 

lilly of the valley reminds me of you...
a scent you wore & adored
i remember when i was very young maybe 6 or 7
visiting you at ingerlea in the early spring
and discovering the patch that flourished 
under the shade of the cedar trees 
by the front door...
i loved to lie down in that spot
and admire their delicate white bells
and oh that heavenly smell...
when we bought our house in maine
one of the first things i did was to plant some by my front door
when will & joe were little... maybe 2 and 3
i picked my first bunch and brought them inside
both boys on separate occasions upon entering the house said
"it smells like grammy in here"
every year now we all look forward to the sweet lillies return
take a heady sniff
and think of you
all my love,
s 

my heart is full to the brim
with the love, laughter, tears & adventures we have shared...
- giggling like school girls
- driving for miles in the wrong direction
- jumping on the beds
- key lime pie for breakfast
- skinny dipping in bathing caps
- room service
- roller coaster rides
- beer with pizza
- pineapple dip 
- send jimmy for the file 
- harmony house
- wintergreen lifesavers
- up in the attic
- out in the coop
- my treat
- clashing sheets
- afternoon tea
- crab rolls
- beach walks
- sand in our toes
- avacado with lime
- never enough time...