Since everyone asks, here is how my baby died.
This is her story, first time I have written it out.
Emily, 24, LOVED this place by our condo where there is this very steep hill,
and on the top is this super cool grassy knoll. I has pine trees and flowers, tall grass and is super neat.
It overlooks all of Hwy85 a small freeway next to our condo.
That night she had said "Mom, I am going to the garage to drink a couple beers and go through my skinny clothes" (she had lost 40 pounds)
She wasn't a drinker but had just run out of her marijuana (CBD) the stuff that doesn't get you high she was using for her depression and sleep.
Pot was the only thing that had helped her after suffering from depression since her teens. Anyways, a couple hours had passed and she texted me and said
"be home in a minute" about 30mins later I heard a FLURRY of cop cars, ambulances and fire engines around the area where she had been sitting.
I freaked, and I mena freaked - went to the garage, she wasn't there and just got this sinking feeling in my gut. I ran up the road yelling her name " Emily, Emily, where are you"
I got to the steep trail to the grassy knoll, and it took me 4 attempts to even get up it, once up there I looked down and there were flares, 7 cop cars and a body in the road covered with a sheet. I yelled down to the cops, "Hey, was there an accident or something?"
They responded with "Go home" I responded with "I am missing my daughter" And like 4 of them rushed up the steep embankment to me. They said, "what did she look like, any tattoo's, how old, etc."
I kept asking was there an accident or something?? And I asked them if they could follow me and help me look for my daughter (total denial)
(had to take a 30min break to finish this, man its hard to re-live this)
So the cops said "let us take you home" I was pissed and said no, "Help me look for my fcking daughter" Again they said, okay we will look for her on the way back to your condo, so I went searching, yelling her name, looking in plants, the garage, surrounding areas, just so much denial.
Once back at my condo there were 2 cop cars there, I asked why they were there, and they said "We are waiting for the Sargent to come"
So I just sat outside and smoked like a pack of cigs waiting. At one point I got up with my flashlight on and started to walk, they immediately all jumped out of there cars and said "what are you doing?"
I said "I am going to look for my fucking daughter, you assholes" I was pissed. Then the Sargent pulled up, and came up to me handed me his business card with a numner on it (coroners case#) and said "That was Emily, your daughter in the road, I am sorry she was hit and run over"
They all thought it was suicide, but I knew better and had to get her phone to figure out what happened. I went to the coroners and grabbed her phone and her bracelets she was wearing, but they refused me seeing her when I asked (jerks)
(Oh how I wish I had pushed just to hold her cold hand and to say good-bye)
On her phone there were lengthy text messages to her best girl friend, Sassie.
that said she was drinking, and on her 6th beer, and the last entry was wooooooops. She had gotten up to stand and fell down the embankment, got up and stumbled into the road and was hit, flew and then another car ran her over. They also said the first hit was instant, and later on I found out she had a .28 blood alcohol level. So the final report was severe intoxication/accident.
So fuck you all that are spreading rumors it was suicide. My daughter would NEVER, EVER walk into traffic intentially.
The last 6 months before she died was the happiest I had seem Emily in years, she had a new bf, she had a semester left to graduate with a project management certification along with an accounting certification. She already had a job lined up in the accounting field, and my neighbor was going to give her, her business when she retired in a year. (Taxes)
My girl was my life, since I was a little girl I always wanted a daughter, but was told my girl parts wouldn't allow for a pregnancy. When I was 31 and had to have lab work done to go on a certain medication and they called me at work and said " Ummm, we cannot authorize you on this medication" I said " Oh, really, how come?" They replied back with "You are pregnant"
I was in shock, pregnant, really, I mean really?? I was not in a serious relationship but my soon to be husband, John was super excited too.
When Emily was born, it was the most profound feeling I have ever experienced in my life. I nutured her, breast fed her till 2, dumped my hubby and started a new very long struggle on welfare till I received a degree in networking/internet/computer scince and off I went climbing the ladder to be a success, and you know what - It was ALL for her, every decision, job, housing, retirement money - everything was for my love.
Now that I have nothing left, I am planning to move to Oregon, not sure how I am going to do it, but I pray each day that God will show me how.
I have to get my condo ready for sale (HUGE job, as I have been here 20years) I have to either be on Disability SSI or have a job that I can work from home and that isn't like my past jobs which I work 50-60 hours a week and fly all over the place to get beat up by snotty fortune 100 customers. I did have some wonderful customers(In case they read this, and you know who you are) that still email me to this day, so compassionate.
So if you are reading this, please keep me in your thoughts and ask Emily to come through to you, she is just now giving signs and coming in dreams.
Last week when I was making a bologna sandwhich, I pulled out the baby swiss cheese, and you know all those tiny holes in the cheese?? Well there were 3 PERFECT hearts, I mean so perfect they looked as if they had been hand punched. I love her and always will, she was my everything in life. I love you babe. We weren't perfect but we had so much love for each other.