I have decided to start this memorial for my son because as his mother we as family and friends need to remember Eric as he was before July 2nd in that parking lot and the way he was killed. We need to remember him before he changed which was around 11 years ago. Eric was a very loving,caring and loved making people laugh. He had a beautiful smile. Over the years he was in a vicious cycle with schizophrenia and addictions which was a daily battle and over the years as his mom I tried to help Eric but in the end I had to walk away.That was one of the hardest decision I had to make. I was hoping he would hit rock bottom and get the help that he so desperately needed. But someone took that away from my son so I’ll never know what could have been. I’m having problems going back and remembering the good times with my son. All that keeps playing in my head is his last days.That’s not what I want I want good memories.                                                 

Just to show you how caring Eric was I have a funny memory of him it was the time he tried to save the rat from the cat. I told Eric it was just a rat let the cat have it he said no.The next thing I see and hear is Eric running through the yard with a rat  attached to his finger screaming get it off of me. I had to take him to the emergency room for that one. Memories like this is what we all need to remember.                                                        

 One last thing I want to tell everyone what happened but this was a couple days after Eric was taken. Some of you might think I’m crazy but for a little while I felt peace.I was sitting on the back porch listening to music losing it and looking at Eric’s Facebook. So I don’t know how long this blue and black butterfly is flying around me. All I know is it landed on my hand I just sit there for a minute.Then I take my finger trying to get it to fly away this butterfly wouldn’t leave. So I sit there and watch it walk onto the screen of my phone it was so close that I seen the feelers. It’s like this butterfly was all into Eric’s Facebook.Then I said "Eric if this is a sign from you I love you and miss you so much and I wish I could have saved you that night that’s what mom’s are supposed to do."

This butterfly walks back on my hand and just sets there for a little while longer before flying around my head a few times and then just flys away. After that for a few months if Summer and I was in town or just outside at home there was always a blue butterfly with black around it’s wings. It was so weird because that butterfly would give me piece every time it was around.