ForeverMissed

This memorial website was created in the memory of our little  brother and loved one, Evaristo "Juny" Sierra Jr. who was born on March 28, 1978 and passed away on September 24, 2009. He was such a loving, kind and gentle son, brother, uncle and great friend. Juny had a heart of  gold. His smile was contagious and he always made us laugh. We will remember him forever. We invite all of you to join us in celebrating his beautiful life... God Bless!

Este sitio web  fue creado en la memoria de nuestro hermano pequeño y amado, Evaristo "Juny" Sierra Jr. , quien nació el 28 de Marzo de 1978 y falleció el 24 de Septiembre de 2009. Llegó a ser un amoroso, amable y gentil hijo,  hermano, tio y gran amigo. Juny tenía un corazón de oro. Su sonrisa era contagioso y siempre nos hacia reir. Lo recordaremos por siempre. Les invitamos a todos a unirse con nosotros para celebrar su hermosa vida... Dios te Bendiga!

 Brother...

 We wished heaven had a phone so we could hear your voice again. We thought of you today, but that is nothing new. We thought about you yesterday and days before that too.We think of you in silence, We often speak your name. All we have are memories and your picture in a frame.Your memory is a keepsake, from which we'll never part. God has you in his arms... We have you in our heart! Missing you Always, Sisters 1 & 2 

Thank you for the tributes, stories, comments, and pictures you have shared with us. Feel free to share and add any stories  or pictures you have of Juny with us. We would love to hear and see the memories  you have of our brother...

Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on March 28, 2022
HAPPY 44TH BIRTHDAY IN HEAVEN BROTHER! Today I am at woik and my coworker and I ordered MEXICAN food. We got our lunch plates and we ordered some chips, queso and salsa on the side. We went BIG! Mom, Sister and Freddy went out to lunch in SA. They had Mexican. too. This morning I heard a cardinal sing so loud in the tree line behind the house. All I could do was smile and say "I hear you loud and clear, Brother." I hope you're dancing and smiling knowing you are never forgotten. I love you and miss you so much. Shine your light, Brother. Sending BEAR HUGS to you. ILY Sister2
Posted by Karen Bingham on March 28, 2022
Happy Birthday! I think so I will eat a potpie for your bday. The songs on here take me back to 14 years ago. I miss you...dance in heaven, make everyone laugh with you. Today is a celebration all for you!
Posted by Karen Bingham on September 24, 2021
Juny! I talked to your mom today, I accidentally woke her up this morning. Oops! I’m happy that you are keeping your family safe. We all think about you all the time but I’m sure you know that. This calendar day hasn’t been a good one for me for the last 12 years. I woke up at 4am and couldn’t go back to sleep, I was just replaying that day in my head. My ears miss your laugh. My eyes miss your smile. My heart misses you. We are all safe and we are all alive so continue to protect us and walk with us. ILY2 Juny.
Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on September 24, 2021
On your 12 year Angelversary, Mom and Veri are out eating at Mamacitas and I'm here at WOIK!!!! Must be nice. Right?
Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on September 23, 2021
I'm not ready for tomorrow... It's been a rough week for me. I pretend everything is normal, but my emotions and blood pressure gets the best of me and normally the BP is good. I've been all over the place on my Pandora stations brother. I can go from Un Rinconcito en el Cielo to some S.O.C. music. I'm sure you been watching from above. Sorry not sorry. I miss you, but I know you know this already. Don't get frustrated with me. ILY Sister#2
Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on March 28, 2021
Happy Heavenly 43rd Birthday Brother... We celebrated yesterday at Sister's. She cooked. She made a pastelon with rice and beans. It was good. We also sang Happy Birthday and ate cupcakes. Hope you got the balloons we sent up to Heaven for you. We miss you so much, brother. I can't sing Happy Birthday to you without getting choked up. Happens every year since you've been gone. Remeber how much I ❤ you and cry for you. It's just not fair...
Posted by Edith Rivera on September 24, 2020
June bug!!! I can’t wait till the day that I can see you again and get a giant bear hug from you like the old days. Miss you very much and love you so very much. Til I see you again my friend. ❤️❤️
Posted by Karen Bingham on September 24, 2020
Hi Juny! ILY2!
Coworkers have already asked me what’s wrong today. Time does not heal everything. I can’t wait to finally see you and be with you again. I keep hearing about unsolved crimes getting solved. I still have hope. Kiss Sake for me and drink a beer with your dad!
Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on September 24, 2020
Hi Brother. Just here at work thinking about you & wondering how you would be today being you would be 11 years older than from the last time I got to spend time with you back in 2009. That was the last time, too. It was Uncle Jr's funeral. We all went to eat at the Mexican restaurant afterwards. I'll never forget. Thank GOD I took pictures that day because those were the last pictures I had of you alive. I wonder if you'd look the same, or if you would have any salt/peppa hair? I know you'd still be stylin & profilin with the latest and the greatest, that's for sure! I know you. I'll be at Titi's house this weekend to celebrate your day. Will you be there with us in spirit? Hope to feel your presence. Remember how much I love you and miss you, STILL! Wish I could hug you again. I cried yesterday out of the blue as I was cooking. I know I need to control these crying spells, but you know I'm an emotional crybaby just like you... I'm gonna start to sing your crybaby song here at my desk that me and Veri would tease you with. HAHA! ILY Brother. Luv-Sister2 Wait4ME. SMILE BIG. STAY GOLD PONY BOY!
Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on September 24, 2019
So today is 10 years since you were taken from us. And guess what? We're still waiting for JUSTICE. Can you see the look on my face, brother? You already know. I'm not complaining. Only because I know you're super good where you are now. Living the real life. I'm here at work trying to keep my mind off the FACTS. I miss you. Oh & I seen that they aired your crime stoppers in San Antonio on certain news channels. I guess it's cool. (shrugs shoulders) Wish we had JUSTICE. That would be way better. Anyway, at least the BEARS WON yesterday. That's always a plus and it makes me happy. Go Bears! I know I'm rambling. It's still hard knowing the reality. You're not here with us. My kids don't have Uncle. I don't have my brother... and this has been life for 10 years now. I miss you allot. One day, brother. One day. ILY. Say Hi to Dad for me. I know he's there with you. (sad face)
Posted by VERONICA HILLER on September 23, 2019
I couldn't sleep last night. Tossing and turning. And then i heard you call my name. It was so clear, not muffled and it wasn't a whisper either. You said "Veri!" You were right next to me Juny. I felt your presence and i woke up, i was wide awake, i quickly turned looking for you. I know it was you that called my name last night. I know you were there right by my side. I know it was real. Oh my God i was so happy you came to me. I know it was you Juny...

Tomorrow will mark your 10yr angelversary. I still can't believe that you're gone. There's nothing anybody can do or say that will bring you back. My heart will forever have a missing piece for you. You will not be forgotten that i can promise you.

I miss you.
I love you.
Veri
Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on April 1, 2019
Brother. I know I am late on leaving you a lil sumping for your BIRTHDAY... But I want to let you know that I didn't forget and will never forget your BIRTHDAY! MARCH 28th is a day I will never forget. Let alone forget you. I worked on your Birthday. My emotions were a witto off that day. I wanted to cry one minute then I would be ok. I can only smile when I think about you. I feel so much sadness in my heart still. I can't believe you have been gone for 10 years. I wonder what you would have been like at the wopping age of 41! I wonder what you would have looked like at 41! Would you have a witto greys? What hair style would you have been rockin? I know you still would have been the most stylish brother with the latest and the greatest. Veri took mom out to eat to celebrate your day. They ate so much. Especially mother. We miss your presence so much. Keep watching over me and the kids. Along with mom and sister. I know you must have celebrated with all our loved ones up in heaven. Tell dad to smile for me... but he has to show me his teeth when he smiles! HAHA. My heart is at peace knowing you are in a place where everything is GOLDEN... Wait for me! I love you so much. Sending BIG BEAR HUGS to you from here on earth to you up in heaven with JC and all our family. ILY Always and fo'eva! SISTER2. AGAIN, HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN HEAVEN...
Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on September 24, 2018
It's been 9 years... and still no answers. No Justice. Nothing. Just like I've told mom & Veri. There's nothing that anyone can say or do that can ever bring you back. I have comfort in my heart knowing what I know based on what you've told me. So thank you. My heart may never be the same but just knowing where you are and how happy you are is the best feeling. Stay Gold. ILY & Miss you more than words. Today I'll have my moment and remember my only brother. The best brother ever.
Posted by VERONICA HILLER on March 28, 2018
Hi brother...I think so it's somebody's boithday todaaaay! I wonder who?? HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY JUNY! THE BIG 4-0!!
I'm sitting here in bed thinking about so many things? What could've been... what should've been... what would've been your big day. I'm really trying not to cry because I know you hated to see me or Olgi cry or stress, but it's really really hard. I didn't think it would be this hard for me because I try to be strong for mom and sister but not today. I'm really falling apart. I just pray and ask God to give me strength. Because today I choose to celebrate your life with lots of love and laughter. Say hi to daddy for me. Tell him I am really missing him. I hope your enjoying your day with everyone.
I'm missing you always and loving you forever.
❤sister1
Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on March 28, 2018
Today would have been your 40th Birthday. I can't believe how time has gone. It sucks that you aren't with us. We won't ever get to see you get older. I always wonder what you'd look like now, 9 years later. I know you'd still look handsome and you'd still be the happy brother I always had. Today, me, mom and Veri talked about you on the phone. We laughed telling stories. Make a long story short, you and Veri had the BIGGEST BADDEST Birthday parties ever. Huge cakes and catering by Mami Celen. I, on another hand, not so much. That's what happens when you're the middle sister. I see. Can you see my face now? Not fair. It's ok, though.Seeing pics of of all of us makes things better and makes me happy! ILY and Miss you so much! Happy 40th Birthday In HEAVEN, Brother! CELEBRATE with Dad and all our LOVED ONES... JC is AMAZING! STAY GOLD!!! ~Sister2
Posted by Zack Nolen on March 28, 2018
Happy 40th Birthday, Juny! Crazy! It sure would've been fun. All smiles. I still think about you all the time, and miss you. I'll never forget about you, bro. With love, Roll Tide!

-Bama
Posted by VERONICA HILLER on February 12, 2018
Hi brother. I just wanted to say hi and to tell you how much I love and miss you. That's all. I could really use a BIG BEAR HUG right about now. I miss dad too. Can you tell him that I love him and that I miss him so much.... it's just so hard.
Love Sister1
Posted by Karen Bingham on September 24, 2017
Today is the day. The day when the impossible became my reality. The day when not just my life, but so many lives were permanently damaged, changed. The day that replays in my mind over and over and over....what I thought was a beginning to a happy life together became an end.
I miss you
I love you
~Karen
Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on September 24, 2017
8 years ago today you were taken from us and at times it still feels unreal. It sucks because no matter what is ever said or done, you will never come back to us. I just miss you, brother. My kids were robbed of their Uncle! I'll never get to see you grow old. (sighs) Now dad's with you. Just like he wanted to be. Best friends back together again. Huh? One day it will be all of us again. ILYBrother. Thank God for all the pictures and memories. Shine down on us today... Let me know you're near.
Posted by Karen Bingham on March 28, 2017
I think so it's somebody's birthday today!
You'd already be dressed in your best clothes, hair fixed, jewelry and sunglasses on, taking your mom to breakfast, enjoying all the birthday wishes coming through on your phone, waiting for your friends to stop by and celebrate with you. Until I can be there with you, enjoy your birthday with Sake, your grandparents and your dad. Happy Birthday Juny!
ILY2
Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on March 28, 2017
HAPPY HEAVENLY 39TH BROTHER... I HAVE MOM HERE WITH ME FOR THE WEEK. TODAY WE WENT AND GOT A VANILLA ICE CREAM CAKE SO WE CAN HAVE AS WE CELEBRATE YOUR SPECIAL DAY. WAIT ON MORE BALLOONS. I KNOW VERI SENT SOME UP THIS PAST SATURDAY, BUT I WASN'T THERE IN SA. I HAD MOM LAUGHING HARD THIS MORNING AS I SHOWED HER CHILDHOOD PICS OF US. SHE ALSO CRIED... BUT IT'S NORMAL, RIGHT? IT'S WHAT WE DO. CRY AND LAUGH OR LAUGH AND CRY... ILY BROTHER. LOVE SISTER2
Posted by VERONICA HILLER on September 24, 2016
7yrs and it still feels like the very first day...so fresh in my mind. I remember you today as i do everyday. I love and miss you Juny...it's been a long day, without you my friend, and I'll tell you all about it when i see you again...
Posted by VERONICA HILLER on September 24, 2016
So much has been hapening and i know you see it all. Daddy will be here soon enough. Sister is graduating school and i know she worries when she takes her tests but i now you are there with her every step of the way.Ricardo got a promotion and we are super excited as you already know. Kalel is playing football and he's so tall and handsome and he's doing great at his position. Giomar is a handfull and i KNOW you see all his shenanigans, he's too much, you would have your hands full with him. Kayla has grown up to be a fine young woman and has a great career in the justice system. I know she worries if she's making you proud. But I knpw she is and i know you are super proud of her. Mom is doing as best as she can she keeps us on our toes, she does too much but i know you see that as well...lol. That's your momma. Me and Freddy are doing good too..but i guess you already know all this about the family...
We love and miss you and today we will celebrate your life. Be on the lookout for the balloons...
WE LOVE AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH!
Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on September 21, 2016
Just cuz I was thinking about you... I miss you, Juny!
Posted by Mike Parker on May 24, 2016
Miss u Everyday big bro....i kno u watchin
Posted by Kayla Sierra on March 28, 2016
Happy Birthday Uncle!! I still wish you were here celebrating with us but I know it's probably 10x better in heaven. I miss you, I love you and I will see you again some day..
Posted by VERONICA HILLER on March 28, 2016
I think so it's somebody's birthday today! Yep it's your birthday. You would have been 38. But to the family you will forever be 31. Oh Juny i miss you so much and i wish you were still here with us. We celebrated your bday and mom & dad were here together to celebate with me & Olgi. I know it's nothing compared to the celebration you are having with our Savior. Until we see each other again I will celebrate and honor you... ILYJUNY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUNY!
Love Sister1
Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on March 28, 2016
Happy 38th Birthday in Heaven, Juny! We celebrated your birthday at Sister's with mom and dad, and the kids. The ice cream cake was deelish as well as the food. No matter how many birthdays come and go, we'll always celebrate and remember you! I love and miss you tremendously. Love always, Sister2.
Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on February 14, 2016
Happy Valentine's Day in Heaven, Brother! I miss you so much... I still get sad knowing you're not here with us. If only me, you n Veri can be together again. Sending my love and hugs to you. ILY4Eva!
Posted by VERONICA HILLER on September 24, 2015
Hi brother. Today marks 6years since you been gone. It's not easy. I just want you to know that I MISS YOU & I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER! I wish I could have one of yor big bear hugs right about now because I sure need it. :'(
Posted by Kayla Sierra on September 24, 2015
You were the one who told me "I love you Kay..." when everybody else didn't want to talk to me.. I love you Uncle, I miss you and 6 years later still feels like "just yesterday." Gods Plan may seem unfair/ crazy at times but you are in a better place and that's what I know in my heart..
Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on June 13, 2015
Brotherrrrr... I miss youuuuu!
Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on March 28, 2015
Happy 37th Birthday in Heaven, brother. Today, we will celebrate You! It's a beautiful day today. It's nice, sunny & windy... We're going to go eat and remember you as we all knew you to be. Full of love, laughter, jokes & Fun! ILY4Eva!!!
Posted by VERONICA HILLER on March 28, 2015
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUNY! Today you would have turned 37, but to us you will forever be 31. How I wish you could be here with us. We love and miss you very much. I talked to dad awhile ago and he was a little bit sad. But he said he was going to be ok...Watch over him and mom. They miss you more than words...
Posted by Zack Nolen on March 28, 2015
Happy Birthday, Juny! We all miss you greatly.
Posted by VERONICA HILLER on January 3, 2015
HAPPY NEW YEAR BROTHER! Another year without you. Just know that I love and I miss you so much.... Love Sister1 XOXO
Posted by VERONICA HILLER on December 20, 2014
Hi brother! Just wanted to say hi and to let you know that I am missing you more than ever. I could really use one of your big Bear hugs right about now. It's almost "Pimas" time and I remember you used to get so excited because you wanted to open the gifts first thing in the morning, you couldn't wait you were like a little kid. With a big heart. I miss you so much...i know someday I will see your face again and smile and hug you and never let go... ILY Juny  ~Sister1
Posted by VERONICA HILLER on December 20, 2014
P.S...Sake turned 10years old on thursday and we celebrated and sang to her and she got a big treat! And can you give Ebby a big hug and kiss from me. I really miss her. I hope she's there by your side playing with you. That's all I wanted you to know. :)
WE LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER!

~Sister, Freddy, Sake, Chingwy, Bear & Tuna
Posted by VERONICA HILLER on September 24, 2014
Today is your 5th Angelversary brother and I still find it hard to believe that you're not here. I really could use one of your Juny bear hugs and tell me that it's going to be ok...today i will do nothing but remember and honor you and smile. I love you Juny but I miss you even more than ever...Love Sister1
Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on September 24, 2014
Happy 5 year Angelversary Day in Heaven, Juny!
Not one word or gesture of yours could I ever forget. I'm just going to smile even if I don't want to. I know you would find something to make me laugh and smile about. I miss you. :'(
Posted by Edith Rivera on September 24, 2014
Miss you June Bug! Thinking of you. Til I see you again my friend.
Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on September 23, 2014
This week is a tough especially for mom & dad, but we remain strong together. Dad's in Puerto Rico for a few weeks so he could go to the cemetery tomorrow (9/24) with all our family. Mom will be with Veri tomorrow at her house, so she can be with sister. I will be here home thinking about you. Remembering how happy you would be when we were together. Come this weekend, we will all be together, like we always do yearly for you on your Angelversary day. 5 years of you being gone, and it still feels like if it was yesterday. We miss you so much. I thought I had more time with you... ILY Brother. ~Sister2
Posted by VERONICA HILLER on September 10, 2014
Just wanted to say hi brother....just wanted you to know that its beginning to hit me that 2 weeks from today will be 5yrs that you have been gone...I love you Juny but I miss you more....i could really use one of your bear hugs right about now. That's it.
Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on May 7, 2014
Just wanted to say Hello. You're always on my mind. I love you forever and always. I just wanted one of your hugs brother... That's all.
Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on March 28, 2014
TODAY IS A SPECIAL DAY. THE BOYS & I WILL BE WITH SISTER & MOTHER TO CELEBRATE LIKE WE ALWAYS DO. WE WILL DO IT EVERY YEAR FOR YOU, JUNY.
Posted by Edith Rivera on March 28, 2014
Happy Birthday June Bug! Dance with the angels. Miss you
Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on March 6, 2014
MARCH... Your Birthday Month. Another year without you. It sucks! Love you Brother, but I Miss You MORE!
Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on January 2, 2014
Happy New Year Juny... I miss you so much. Maybe this year we will hear something about your case. We won't ever loose hope. One day something will come to light. I love you. ~Sister2
Posted by VERONICA HILLER on January 2, 2014
HAPPY NEW YEAR JUNITO! I'm laying this flower for you from mom and dad. They don't know how to use the computer so i'm doing it for them. They love and miss you very much. They are coping as best as they can. But they have hope that one day we will know something. MOM AND DAD LOVE AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH...
Posted by VERONICA HILLER on January 2, 2014
Hi brother, this is Freddy. HAPPY NEW YEAR! Just wanted to leave you a little note to say that I am keeping my promise I made to you the first day we met. We are taking good care of Sake. She misses you. I love and miss you. You are in my heart always.
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Posted by Mary Walker Sierra on March 28, 2022
HAPPY 44TH BIRTHDAY IN HEAVEN BROTHER! Today I am at woik and my coworker and I ordered MEXICAN food. We got our lunch plates and we ordered some chips, queso and salsa on the side. We went BIG! Mom, Sister and Freddy went out to lunch in SA. They had Mexican. too. This morning I heard a cardinal sing so loud in the tree line behind the house. All I could do was smile and say "I hear you loud and clear, Brother." I hope you're dancing and smiling knowing you are never forgotten. I love you and miss you so much. Shine your light, Brother. Sending BEAR HUGS to you. ILY Sister2
Posted by Karen Bingham on March 28, 2022
Happy Birthday! I think so I will eat a potpie for your bday. The songs on here take me back to 14 years ago. I miss you...dance in heaven, make everyone laugh with you. Today is a celebration all for you!
Posted by Karen Bingham on September 24, 2021
Juny! I talked to your mom today, I accidentally woke her up this morning. Oops! I’m happy that you are keeping your family safe. We all think about you all the time but I’m sure you know that. This calendar day hasn’t been a good one for me for the last 12 years. I woke up at 4am and couldn’t go back to sleep, I was just replaying that day in my head. My ears miss your laugh. My eyes miss your smile. My heart misses you. We are all safe and we are all alive so continue to protect us and walk with us. ILY2 Juny.
his Life
Happy 44th BIRTHDAY in Heaven, Brother...
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Birthday!

Shared by Edith Rivera on March 28, 2022
Happy Heavenly Birthday my friend! You are still very much missed and loved. Another year has gone by and still hard at times to think that you are not here, but as the years pass, it is also another year closer to being able to see that huge smile in person. Love you June Bug. Until I see you again. <3 

7 THINGS I HAVE LEARNED SINCE THE LOSS OF MY CHILD (Posting for Our Mother)

Shared by Mary Walker Sierra on September 24, 2021
Child loss is a loss like no other. One often misunderstood by many. If you love a bereaved parent or know someone who does, remember that even his or her “good” days are harder than you could ever imagine. Compassion and love, not advice, are needed. If you’d like an inside look into why the loss of a child is a grief that lasts a lifetime, here is what I’ve learned in my seven years of trekking through the unimaginable.

1). Love never dies.
There will never come a day, hour, minute or second I stop loving or thinking about my son. Just as parents of living children unconditionally love their children always and forever, so do bereaved parents. I want to say and hear his name just the same as non-bereaved parents do. I want to speak about my deceased children as normally and naturally as you speak of your living ones.

I love my child just as much as you love yours– the only difference is mine lives in heaven and talking about about him is unfortunately quite taboo in our culture. I hope to change that. Our culture isn’t so great about hearing about children gone too soon, but that doesn’t stop me from saying my son’s name and sharing his love and light everywhere I go. Just because it might make you uncomfortable, doesn’t make him matter any less. My son’s life was cut irreversibly short, but his love lives on forever. And ever.

2). Bereaved parents share an unspeakable bond.
In my seven years navigating the world as a bereaved parent, I am continually struck by the power of the bond between bereaved parents. Strangers become kindreds in mere seconds– a look, a glance, a knowing of the heart connects us, even if we’ve never met before. No matter our circumstances, who we are, or how different we are, there is no greater bond than the connection between parents who understand the agony of enduring the death of a child. It’s a pain we suffer for a lifetime, and unfortunately only those who have walked the path of child loss understand the depth and breadth of both the pain and the love we carry.

3). I will grieve for a lifetime.
Period. The end. There is no “moving on,” or “getting over it.” There is no bow, no fix, no solution to my heartache. There is no end to the ways I will grieve and for how long I will grieve. There is no glue for my broken heart, no exilir for my pain, no going back in time. For as long as I breathe, I will grieve and ache and love my son with all my heart and soul. There will never come a time where I won’t think about who my son would be, what he would look like, and how he would be woven perfectly into the tapestry of my family. I wish people could understand that grief lasts forever because love lasts forever; that the loss of a child is not one finite event, it is a continuous loss that unfolds minute by minute over the course of a lifetime. Every missed birthday, holiday, milestone– should-be back-to-school school years and graduations; weddings that will never be; grandchildren that should have been but will never be born– an entire generation of people are irrevocably altered forever.

This is why grief lasts forever. The ripple effect lasts forever. The bleeding never stops.

4). It’s a club I can never leave, but is filled with the most shining souls I’ve ever known.
This crappy club called child loss is a club I never wanted to join, and one I can never leave, yet is filled with some of the best people I’ve ever known. And yet we all wish we could jump ship– that we could have met another way– any other way but this. Alas, these shining souls are the most beautiful, compassionate, grounded, loving, movers, shakers and healers I have ever had the honor of knowing. They are life-changers, game-changers, relentless survivors and thrivers. Warrior moms and dads who redefine the word brave.

Every day loss parents move mountains in honor of their children gone too soon. They start movements, change laws, spearhead crusades of tireless activism. Why? In the hope that even just one parent could be spared from joining the club. If you’ve ever wondered who some of the greatest world changers are, hang out with a few bereaved parents and watch how they live, see what they do in a day, a week, a lifetime. Watch how they alchemize their grief into a force to be reckoned with, watch how they turn tragedy into transformation, loss into legacy.

Love is the most powerful force on earth, and the love between a bereaved parent and his/her child is a lifeforce to behold. Get to know a bereaved parent. You’ll be thankful you did.

5). The empty chair/room/space never becomes less empty.
Empty chair, empty room, empty space in every family picture. Empty, vacant, forever gone for this lifetime. Empty spaces that should be full, everywhere we go. There is and will always be a missing space in our lives, our families, a forever-hole-in-our-hearts. Time does not make the space less empty. Neither do platitudes, clichés or well-wishes for us to “move on,” or “stop dwelling,” from well intentioned friends or family. Nothing does. No matter how you look at it, empty is still empty. Missing is still missing. Gone is still gone. The problem is nothing can fill it. Minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day, month after month, year after heartbreaking year the empty space remains.

The empty space of our missing child(ren) lasts a lifetime. And so we rightfully miss them forever. Help us by holding the space of that truth for us.

6). No matter how long it’s been, holidays never become easier without my son.
Never, ever. Have you ever wondered why every holiday season is like torture for a bereaved parent? Even if it’s been 5, 10, or 25 years later? It’s because they really, truly are. Imagine if you had to live every holiday without one or more of your precious children. Imagine how that might feel for you. It would be easier to lose an arm, a leg or two– anything— than to live without your flesh and blood, without the beat of your heart. Almost anything would be easier than living without one of more of your precious children. That is why holidays are always and forever hard for bereaved parents. Don’t wonder why or even try to understand. Know you don’t have to understand in order to be a supportive presence. Consider supporting and loving some bereaved parents this holiday season. It will be the best gift you could ever give them.

7). Because I know deep sorrow, I also know unspeakable joy.
Though I will grieve the death of my son forever and then some, it does not mean my life is lacking happiness and joy. Quite the contrary, in fact, though it took awhile to get there. It is not either/or, it’s both/and. My life is more rich now. I live from a deeper place. I love deeper still. Because I grieve I also know a joy like no other. The joy I experience now is far deeper and more intense than the joy I experienced before my loss. Such is the alchemy of grief.

Because I’ve clawed my way from the depth of unimaginable pain, suffering and sorrow, again and again– when the joy comes, however and whenever it does– it is a joy that reverberates through every pore of my skin and every bone in my body. I feel all of it, deeply: the love, the grief, the joy, the pain. I embrace and thank every morsel of it. My life now is more rich and vibrant and full, not despite my loss, but because of it. In grief there are gifts, sometimes many. These gifts don’t in any way make it all “worth” it, but I am grateful beyond words for each and every gift that comes my way. I bow my head to each one and say thank you, thank you, thank you. Because there is nothing– and I mean absolutely nothing– I take for granted. Living life in this way gives me greater joy than I’ve ever known possible.

I have my son to thank for that. Being his mom is the best gift I’ve ever been given.
Even death can’t take that away.

~ Angela Miller

STAY GOLD!!!

Shared by Mary Walker Sierra on March 28, 2018

Even though you'll Forever be 31. Today I'll celebrate what would have been. I'm happy and comforted knowing what you told me in one of my dreams. You said "Everything is like gold over here, Olgui." So when I hear Veri & Jason Flores say "STAY GOLD", I smile because I know it's GOLDEN up in Heaven... Happy 40th In Heaven! ILY. ~Sister2