For all the times I needed something
and you put me first instead
For everything we shared
the dreams, the laughter and the tears,
I love you with all my heart.

When you were still around,
there was happiness in my heart
because you helped me put it there.
If there is gentleness in my beliefs,
its because you showed me how to care.
If there is understanding in my thinking
its because you shared me your wisdom.
If there is rainbow over my shoulders
its because of your outlook and your vision embedded in me.
If there is knowledge that I can reach out and
I really can make some dreams come true
its because I have learned from the best teacher of all,
I learned from you.

Alvin and I deeply miss you and love you always and forever.1-25-15

" Right now, I'm in a different place,
And though we seem apart, I'm closer than I ever was..............
I'm there inside your heart.
I'm with you when you greet each day
And while the sun shines bright.
I'm there to share the sunsets,too....I'm with you every night.
I'm with you when the times are good. To share a laugh or two
And if a tear should start to fall.......
I will be there for you.
And when the day arrives. that we are no longe apart,
I"ll smile and hold you close to me.........
Forever in my heart. 

 Today, we celebrate in loving thoughts and prayers the first year anniversary of our dearly beloved Mama. You are in our hearts forever and we love you and miss you so much.

Jan.25, 2012 , 1st year anniversary in the bosom of Father God...................

"Those we love don't go away,

They walk beside us everyday

Unseen, unheard, but always near,

Still loved, still missed and very dear."

Love you Mama!

 SOMETHING I COULD NEVER WRITE WHEN SHE PASSED AWAY SO QUICKLY AND ONLY NOW I HAVE FOUND THE WORDS TO EXPESS MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ABOUT MY BELOVED MAMA, WHO COMPLETES MY LIFE

FELICITAS ESPIRITU RAMOS-MANACSA

MARCH 15,1929 – JANUARY 25, 2011

When Mama passed on, I lost the person who rejoiced in my accomplishments and agonized with my struggles; the person who thinks I should succeed at every job; the very person whose first urge was to protect, shelter, and guide me and Alvin; the person who knows what is best for us, or thinks she does; the person who brags about us in our absence and offers expert advice in our presence.

In other words, we lost the person who is our biggest fan and our most ardent defender.

Mama and I formed a slightly complicated relationship as a mother and daughter. She was not perfect, neither am I as her daughter. She was my confidante but also my critic. She maintained a quiet control even in my adulthood, but still gave me a sense of independence. When we lost Mama, our loss hit on many levels.

I lost an unconditional love, a loss no one else can understand, and no one else can fill.

 I lost my identity – Mama had an intimate knowledge of who I was as a child. It is as though a part of me has existence only in her memory, so when she passed on, this part of me has died too. As life goes on, I have been often told “ I am my mother’s daughter, but I am also Papa’s girl. Alvin has always been the Mama’s boy.

I have lost a piece of who I am. I lost the mother who can provide the story of my own beginning, and whose sense of self greatly impacts who we are.

I have lost a family connector – through the phone conversations, visits, letters and emails, we frequently stayed in touch. Mama is no longer here to hold us together. We have to find new ways to remain family and remain connected to one another.

I MISS MAMA,   I don’t want to lose that because it was the sign of the depth of the love we shared.

I have lost protection -   I always felt a sense of security knowing that even in my adulthood, Mama looked out for us, and God help anyone who attempted harm on us. That shield of protection, is now lost, but that is now my promise to Mama and a mission, to be able to provide that same protection she gave me and Alvin, and  something I will be able to continue to give my only brother, Alvin and my only niece, Bea.

I have lost a nurturing touch – even with thousands of miles apart, we had a continued intimacy between a mother and a daughter that makes our connection and touch very natural, comforting and can never be replicated. I have lost a mother’s hug,  and complete physical acceptance only her can give.

With all these that I have lost, I am learning each day to be gentle with myself and others. I need to be more  patient with myself- letting go is a long process. I keep and reread the notes, cards, tributes and messages that people send. I am not afraid of tears nor reminders because they are both ways to remember and let go.

I will celebrate Mama’s memories in all possible ways to keep reminding me the many ways she nourished us.

I will keep her memory alive. I will cherish and celebrate those memories. That is how, when Mama was still around, I started “ Mama and Lou’s Food for the Gods” , did many trials and errors,  and finally able to bake her favorite dessert and mine, and that is how I managed to help her  with her medical needs. She likes to keep busy, so we thought of a project  together  that gave her something to look forward to each day and through writing, it kept her mentally active. I still have to look for those manuscripts so I can complete it and try to publish it in due time, as my tribute to Mama which she would have wanted me to do.

When we lost Mama, we lost much that cannot be replaced. But we are also left with much to cherish……………… memories, unique personality traits and strengths, wisdom, and hopefully an example that can inspire us to offer nurturing love to those who remain in our lives.

MAMA’S LOVE, AFTER ALL, IS NEVER LOST, IF IT IS PASSED ON.

 “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?” – Matthew 6:25 NKJV

Don’t waste time worrying about the future, but live each moment to the fullest in Christ. Being in Christ means your future is secure, and there is therefore nothing to worry about. Nothing can keep Him from sheltering you from the storms of life except lack of faith.

Be content with what you have, but continue to work hard for what you desire to achieve. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to live more comfortably. It’s when comfort turns to gluttony that it becomes a sin.

No place in life could be so great as to sacrifice integrity for pleasure. It is better to live in poverty and be in God’s favor than to be rich and increased with goods and not know Him at all. Be a good steward with the things that God has entrusted to your care and you will do well. Be mindful of Jesus.

**************************************************************************************************

Mama wrote and authored and co-authored some books, used for schools.She first got involved in it with my grandaunt Dr.Socorro Espiritu, the former Dean at University of the East.She was well guided by her, inspired her desire for writing.When my Lola Coring passed, Mama continued to write together with some of her colleague teachers.

We had an unfinished book that Mama and I wanted to do,but that was the time she started to get sick.She continued to write that when she went back to the Philippines.She was supposed to send me the manuscript which I was going to complete, but never happened.Now, my task is to find it once everything settles, so I can try complete it. I have not seen what she has done, but it was about my idea of coming up with a book on Filipino cuisine.

Below are a few books she written and co-authored: I will update it as I find them. 

http://www.elib.gov.ph/results.php?f=author&q=Manacsa,+Felicitas+R.

 Every time I smile and laugh or do anything, I think  of you and feel you in my heart and a tear escapes my eye.

You were my inspiration, and my heart

You were my best friend, my true confidante, and that's not all you were..........

you were my dearest MAMA.

******************************************************************************************************************

Even with the physical distance we have from each other, Mama and I were very close in every way.

When I am weary from the burdens of life, and the path is unclear, I remember her loving support was always near, and her advices made the path ahead of me seem clear.

When I feel there is no one who seems to care, or when the heartaches seems too hard to bear, I always remember how she always stood by me and my brother by our sides, and tenderly comforted us.

I remember Mama saw more than I thought I could be, and know I owe my triumphs, to her belief in me.

Mama, I will forever hold you and keep you in my heart, as I always keep Papa in my heart always. I love and miss you both. I know you will watch Alvin and me and guide us together with Father God.

******************************************************************************************************************

 My mom had a sharp mind till the very end . She loves to read and write and she wrote a lot of books, some are textbooks that were used for schools. I have to find out what they are,  I know a few and I will try to post the info. I think it is even online the info.My cousin found it a year ago.

 Felicitas was a wife to Ceferino, and they celebrated 51 years of marriage until her husband died on January 11, 2003.

She survived by her daughter, Loowee (Loida) and son, Alvin (Tel +) and a granddaughter Isabela.

She has one living sister, Resurreccion (Vicente) and adored by nieces, nephews, grandnieces, grand nephews, cousins.

She was the President, Treasurer and co-founder of the Espiritu foundation which she is very passionate about.She started fundraising activities to raise funds to help other family members who are in need, and to help in the education of those who can't afford to send themselves to school.  She would plan activities like annual family reunions, bingo activities, sponsoring shows and events, fundraising activities, and many more to encourage and involve most family members as a way of making them closer to one another and know them whether they are distant or near.

Until recently when she got ill, she even called a meeting for the foundation while at her hospital bed planning for the next year's fundraising activities.She was unstoppable, and her children always reminded her to slow down, and give up this position to a younger generation,but nothing would stop her from doing what she can for the sake of the family foundation she helped started.

Mama you are the one

who proclaims your pride in me,

but today it's my turn to talk of pride

and place the spotlight on you............

for the life you've lived

and the example you've been to me.

No matter the situations life has dealt,

you've handled them with honor and grace.

You are a woman of countless abilities

I've looked up to you all my life;

growing up I assumed you could do most anything.

The pride I have in you goes beyond

all the things you have done.

I'm proud of the person you've always been- kind, caring, dependable and wise.

So I am the one who is bragging today

because I have you Mama

who makes me so proud.

I love you and I know you are now at peace in the Kingdom of our Heavenly Father, your Lord and Saviour.

 Felicitas Espiritu Ramos-Manacsa was a professor of Pilipino language at the University of the Philippines High school, Diliman, Quezon City, Philippines. She served also as an Assistant Principal but enjoyed more being a teacher. 

She was a disciplinarian but loved by most.Teaching was her gift and a blessing and was her lifelong ministry.Teaching younger adults was beyond the 4 walls of the classroom and gave meaningful advices to those who seek her wisdom.

She was strong, and resilient,soft and tender but will never show it.She always saw the goodness in others esp.her students , family and friends. Very proud and courageous, will never ask for help but always willing to offer a hand to anyone who seeks them.