ForeverMissed
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Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un 
إِنَّا لِلّهِ وَإِنَّـا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعونَ
To Him we belong and to Him we return. 
A loving daughter, loyal sister, favourite Auntie, generous friend; an all together kind, gentle yet determined force of nature that made anything seem possible. 

Share your cherished memories and allow Fizza’s legacy to live on by supporting the causes she was so passionate about: community engagement, helping the homeless and society's most vulnerable, wellbeing through exercise, community gardens and animal and pet therapy.

Here's just one of the charity projects our friends and family are supporting in Fizza's name. Please donate whatever you can: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/fizza-ahmed
April 1, 2023
April 1, 2023
♥️ To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die ♥️

Oh my love, you live in the hearts of so many of us.

Fizz, there's a street named after you in Syria!
People speak of your name & pray for you in more corners of the world than you could have ever imagined.


This week's been difficult... Today more so than any other day.
How could I go about my day and not think of how you must have felt?!
Of what was going through your heart.
Of what was going through your mind.
Of the pain coursing through you.

I must remember, though, that the struggle you endured is long forgotten.

As promised by our Almighty, there's a window open to you of a whole other world. Our true home.
A loving breeze caresses you, wonderous scents & sounds fill your senses, you're delighting in the sights of Jannahtul Firdaws.
The blessed company you must be in x
The stories you must share with one another...

Content.

Life on earth a fleeting memory.


May Allah Almighty shower His infinite peace & blessings upon you and your beautiful family. May He ease the pain they endure and fill their hearts with His love & light.
May He surround them with supportive, caring, loving people.
May He reunite you all in the highest of paradise, Jannahtul Firdaws.
InshaAllah
Ameen


Love and duas, always x



November 19, 2022
November 19, 2022
Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with their heart and soul there is so such thing as separation.         - Rumi

Love you. Miss you.
October 12, 2022
October 12, 2022
Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un
Not a moment goes by when I don't think about you.
I'm sorry for the things I never got to say to you - that I should have said,
I'm sorry for the things I said to you - that I should never have said.
I miss you very much.
Until we meet again.
Love you always and forever...
July 14, 2022
July 14, 2022
It's been 3 months since you passed, it feels like forever

I cannot say I remember you everyday, because that would mean that I forget you.
How do I forget someone who lives in my heart?
Who is with me every single day?!

It's impossible!

That kebab sandwich bang on 11 am.
The shrieks when you saw something cute and furry.
A cold coke on a hot day...

You are everywhere.

At times, this feels wonderful. There's joy & gratitude in these moments.

At others, it's a painful reminder that the time awarded to us in this world has passed.

I regret so much.

Regret, that I didn't remember how much you meant to me when I was suffering myself these past few years.
Regret, that I let myself be taken away by my own trials.
Regret, that I didn't reach out to you enough to let you know I miss you.

So much is left unsaid.

You never really knew how much you meant to me. Unaware you changed my life for the better.
To this day, no one as EVER been able to treat me as gently as you did.
To care for me in the way you did.

It helps to write here... as if I'm talking directly to you.

I can say all the things I wasnt able to x

To reflect.

To thank you.

A place I can grieve and collect myself.

I love that you had a special bond with so many. You found a way to love and care for us all endlessly.
Reminds me of the way of our beloved Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him and his family. Kind like him, loving like he was.

We hold onto the gifts you gave us. They are lights guiding us.

What a legacy, Fizz!

I was lucky. Blessed beyond measure to have been loved by you.

I know you're happy again x at peace x I feel it in my heart ❤️

But, I miss you. We all miss you x

Life will never be the same because you're not here with us, my dear sister.

I love you, always have. Always will x

InshaAllah we meet again in the highest of heavens
June 3, 2022
June 3, 2022
I did not personally know Fizza. I did help just a little with the search. Everything I have read or heard about her fills me with joy. She was a wonderful woman with, like me, a love of nature and helping others. I wish I’d met her. Bless you Fizza and comfort to your loved ones. I am not Muslim however - Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un. (I hope that is the right words)
May 5, 2022
Fizza was a gentle force that I shall miss immensely. Her generosity was probably the first thing that struck me about her when we met on Albemarle allotments. Her easy way with people and willingness to help anyone was something I admired and I made sure she was aware of how special that was. She has a left a lasting impact on me and I her love of digging has left a physical legacy on my allotment, a happy constant reminder. If we could all be a little bit 'Fizza' we would make a big and positive impression on those around us.
April 30, 2022
April 30, 2022
I don’t know Fizza. I came across a post about her passing. I wasn’t expecting to read so many beautiful things about one person. I felt she reminded me of a beloved teacher of mine who passed recently whom I miss dearly. She made me feel seen, heard, which is a beautiful quality to possess, Subhan’Allah, I was inspired by her to be kinder, softer and more compassionate, the inspiration has been reinforced by what I’ve read about Fizza. I was sad to hear she had a chronic condition, I do as well, and we are a similar age, I only pray that I can exhibit such beautiful conduct during my short time in this dunya like she did. In sha allah. May Allah illuminate her resting place, with His nur, making it spacious and perfume it with the fragrance of her good deeds, may she be reunited with her loved ones in jhannatul firdous and may Allah grant her loved ones sabrun jameel ameen
April 26, 2022
April 26, 2022
I was deeply saddened to hear the news about Dr Fizza. I knew her as a true community hero, humble, genuinely caring about making a difference and supporting her fellow humans. The energy she brought to the Mustafia Sharif Centre was a great inspiration and her legacy will leave on. Thanks for everything you’re done to people in Moss Side and beyond! You will be missed
April 25, 2022
April 25, 2022
We are so sorry to hear of your tragic loss. We wish you and your family strength and courage to get through these difficult times.
April 25, 2022
April 25, 2022
Im still in shock about these sad news, im so sorry for your loss, im speachless. Fizza was such a lovely person, always with such a positive energy, she made smile so mamy times through out all these years, just dont know what say, much love for all.
April 20, 2022
April 20, 2022
I only met Fizza recently through a project we were developing to help young people affected by violence, but I was struck by her warmth and enthusiasm for the work, and she provided really great insights into how we could get things up and running in Moss Side. Reading these tributes she has obviously touched a lot of lives and will live on through the people she has helped and supported. I hope these great memories will help her family, friends and community through the difficult process of grieving. My deepest condolences go out to you all.
April 19, 2022
April 19, 2022
When I saw the pictures of Fizza when she was missing I was so affected by her lovely smile and eyes. It's clear from reading tributes to her that our local community and the world has lost a wonderful soul. Condolences to all her family and friends. May her soul rest in peace. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un.
April 19, 2022
April 19, 2022
Salam,
Fizza was a lovely, kind and caring person - she always helped with my girls when we visit the practice and kept them occupied.
May your spirit be happy!xx
April 18, 2022
April 18, 2022
Thoughts and sympathy with at this sad time
April 17, 2022
April 17, 2022
Fizza was such a lovely and special person. She was these kind of persons that you love from the very first moment. I remember the kindness in her eyes. Her gentle soul will forever remain in my heart. The world has lost a wonderful person. Sending love and condolences to her family.
April 17, 2022
April 17, 2022
So sorry to hear of your loss. Memories keep us focus and close to the ones we love in life and in death.
April 17, 2022
April 17, 2022
I'm so sorry to hear this awful news. Fizza was such a lovely, caring, and funny lady who made my visits to the dentist much more peaceful (and entertaining).
All my love to her family and friends xx
April 17, 2022
April 17, 2022
I am so sorry to hear this news. Fizza was a ball of energy and really helped me in my visits to the dentist. I loved us choosing the music to listen to together when I was in the chair!! She was a ray of sunlight and cannot believe her light is now shining somewhere else and not with us. My sincere condolences to your family. Sending thoughts and prayers. Cath xx
April 17, 2022
April 17, 2022
Fizza was such a lovely person, always smiling and so nice and kind. I will really miss her. She was very special; one of the kindest persons that I have met in the last years. A big hug for her family in these difficult times.
Her lovely smile will always remain in my mind.
April 17, 2022
April 17, 2022
Fizza looked after me by talking about rabbits :-) our shared interest - particularly Dutch rabbits. She helped me many times when I really needed it. I hope I make others smile as much as she did me. X
April 15, 2022
April 15, 2022
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un. Heart breaking to hear about Fizza’s passing. May Allah accept her with all His mercy and reward her for the hardship and pain she has endured during her life on this earth. May her trials grant her the ranks of a shaheeda and may she be reunited with her mother. We pray the gates of Paradise awaited her, wide open, as her soul departed back to her Lord during this blessed month. May Allah give her family the patience to endure her loss and manage without her. I am only sorry that we lost contact after university - Fizza had a warm and comforting character and it was always a pleasure to spend time with her. I am very grateful to Maria for reaching out during the family’s time of grief to deliver the sad news, giving us the time to reflect and pray for Fizza. With love and duaas, Shayma.
April 11, 2022
April 11, 2022
I can’t believe that I won’t see gorgeous Fizz skipping around the allotment, always with a huge cheeky grin. Showing me how she can scale a tree, nimbly like a cat, and telling me that she just loved relaxing up in it. But I hardly ever saw her just relax, maybe she had to be stuck up a tree to do it, she was always just too very busy. Forever looking out for everyone and putting such enormous effort and love into everything that I saw her do. For me it is easier to imagine that she is just in her tree than that she has left us for good.
April 9, 2022
April 9, 2022
In addition to my mums post before, I would like to add what a pleasure it always was to bump into you on the Rd. We will make a donation on your behalf in your memory to a charity. Lots of love from my family to you and your familyxxxx
April 9, 2022
April 9, 2022
It was a real pleasure to know you and bump into you on the Rd (walking my dog). You were always really pleasant and welcoming. Rest in peace ❤️
April 9, 2022
April 9, 2022
Rest in peace lovely Fizza.
I only met you a few times in the gardens but I enjoyed our chats & could tell immediate you were a beautiful soul.
May you live on through the beautiful trees & flowers ❤️
April 9, 2022
April 9, 2022
Dear Fizz (as I knew you), it took me some time to write because I still cannot believe that I won't be greeted by your beautiful smile when I go to the allotment. You've been the sunny ray in all those grey, rainy days when I met you down there, and I will continue to greet you in your flowers, pond toads, and visiting robins. You will always be the kind and caring Fizz who was ready to give all you had to others, the one who created communities of love, support, and respect wherever you went, the one who worked so hard and did so much for those around you. I'm sure you'll bring blossoms and colours wherever you are now. Lots of love.
April 9, 2022
April 9, 2022
Fizza I will miss you dearly my friend. Your heart was pure as gold. So caring,kind and loving to everyone you meet. I will miss your daily visit into the pharmacy buying your can of pop, and I would always say you need to drink more water. You were so lovely to me when my parents died and that I will never forget and always hold your words of comfort close to my heart. Sleep tight beautiful until we meet again love your sweetheart 
April 8, 2022
April 8, 2022
My deepest condolences to Fizza's family and all her loved ones.

The first time I met Fizz, I knew she was someone special. We met at the community allotment, Old Moat Greenies, a few years ago. She was so full of enthusiasm and had such a positive can-do attitude which was contagious!

She gave her time so generously. She made such a difference on our plot and then went on to get her own, but continued to help us and many others. It seemed she knew everyone by name!

Anytime I'd see Fizz at the allotments she would always message me to say, ''It was great to see you, Elsa'' and she did this for everyone in our group. She had a very special way of making people feel seen, heard, and appreciated.

I recently had to go to A&E and Fizz called to check up on me. She continued to send me messages to make sure I was ok. She was so caring and gentle, yet fierce and powerful at the same time. I was always impressed by her dedication to the community and at the allotments.

When I would thank her for her help and she would say, ''I feel privileged to help out'' or ''It's my honor to help'' or simply ''I love it to dig!''

I have learned valuable lessons from Fizz over the years about strength, determination, and most importantly kindness.

I will never forget you Fizz and I will think back fondly every time I see frogs in the pond, a heron flying overhead, or have a big digging project! You will always be missed. Even in your physical absence your spirit is continuing to bring people together, and it will continue to do so for years to come. I love you Fizz! xx Elsa

April 8, 2022
April 8, 2022
Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilayhi Raji'un
إِنَّا لِلَّٰهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ‎

I have meet Fizza once she got a plot at our Allotment, she became one of my best friends and we use to see each other almost every day, if we could not make it to the Allotment due to weather condition on any day, we use to speak over the phone on them days.

I know that she had a very difficult time with her health condition, she was a very hard working, friendly, and kind person.

She was always helping other people who are in need to make them happy and put a smile on their faces.

Last time I met her was on Wednesday one day before she gets missing, she was not very well and the weather was too cold, we only chatted with each other for 30 minutes at the Allotment, I gave her a card and a flower as she had just come out from the hospital.

The last message I have received from her was thanking me for the card and the flowers.

Fizza, I am still in shock that we have lost you so quickly, as you are one of my best friends and you will stay in my mind and heart forever.

Rest in peace Fizza, inshallah your place will be in Jannah al firdous.

Your best friend
Jawan
April 8, 2022
April 8, 2022
inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un. "Truly! To Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return."May Allah forgive our sister Fizza’s shortcomings and grant her the highest station in Paradise.A truly selfless kind soul who will be dearly missed by all.I will never forget her charitable smile.May Allah grant sabr to all her family and friends.
April 7, 2022
April 7, 2022
Beautiful Fizz - our hearts are heavy with sorrow but you will continue to shine like the Sun for an eternity - our brightest star ☀️


April 7, 2022
April 7, 2022
It was such a pleasure to meet with Fizza at Platt Hall during the lockdown period and walk round the park sharing ideas about how Platt Hall could best serve surrounding communities. Fizza was so passionate and was full of ideas and energy. She will be very missed.
April 7, 2022
April 7, 2022
Wearing a smile all the time and talking to you like a kind friend, Fizza could make you very comfortable even if you were meeting her first time. I met her several time and always she had positive vibes around her. I can’t believe that I won’t be able to see her again. May Allah bless her the highest rank in Janna! Ameen
April 7, 2022
April 7, 2022
I will always remember the laughs and hugs we had together. I’ll never forget you, Always caring and genuine kindness.
Gone to soon. R.I.P My thoughts and love to all your family.
April 7, 2022
April 7, 2022
Fizza A beautiful soul.
I was standing outside HC with something in my hands for the practice and realised I cant reach for my phone.I heard a car door opened and someone said Doc what are you doing here.It was Fizza.She phoned and sorted the problem and stood there and waited.She always showed such happiness seeing me.I would never have imagined in a million years that was my last meeting with her.
I can write pages about her.She was a master of small talk,enviable sense of humour and a smile worth millions.Always always there to help with ever smiling face.
Such a tragic tragic loss.
We all pray.
May Allah SUBHANATALLAH place her in highest Jannat and shower rahmat on her and grant sabre on her family and friends to bear this loss.Ameen.
April 7, 2022
April 7, 2022
I feel so blessed to have known you Fizz, chatting with you about your happy place (the allotment) and our shared love of furry four-legged friends. I am so incredibly sad to not see your beautiful smile around the street but you will live on in the hearts and minds of all touched by your generosity, courage and kindness.

Rest easy now hun.
Your friend and neighbour x
April 7, 2022
I never got to know you, but thank you for everything you have done for our community. Thoughts and prayers are with your family and friends.
April 7, 2022
April 7, 2022
A kind hearted beautiful lady I had the pleasure to know for a short time. We are saddened and our love goes out to her family, friends and colleagues
April 7, 2022
April 7, 2022
Fizza was that rare person who just unconditionally supported the things she thought were good around her with enthusiasm, support and kind words, expecting nothing in return. It's hard to process the loss. She will be sorely missed. Rest in peace Fizza, my thoughts are with her family and friends.
April 7, 2022
April 7, 2022
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un
‎(إِنَّا لِلّهِ وَإِنَّـا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعونَ)
Such sad news, I did not know Fizza but felt a connection when I saw her missing notice. May you be granted the highest of heavens in the hereafter and may the family be granted sabir to bare this loss. So many lovely messages from people you knew elevate your memory. Thinking of Fizzas family and praying for you all especially our dear friend, colleague and brother Dr Faizan Ahmed. Sincere condolence from Wilmslow Road Medical Centre.
April 7, 2022
April 7, 2022
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un
‎(إِنَّا لِلّهِ وَإِنَّـا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعونَ)

A truly kind and beautiful soul. We are heartbroken by your loss.

April 7, 2022
April 7, 2022
Such a sad loss. Fizza's love of gardening and helping the community was so inspiring and beautiful. She will be so missed by so many.
April 7, 2022
April 7, 2022
Fizza, my beautiful friend, my little sis from another family. You will forever be in my heart and the hearts of everyone who was lucky enough to have met you. Your gentleness and kindness will always warm me when I remember you.

Back in 2014 (in an old office that DFA cleared out for us!), we quickly formed a bond and friendship which continued to flourish. You guided me through difficult times, laughed with me in good times and always encouraged me to be myself.

You would always sense when someone was struggling or having a bad day and you just wanted to make everything better, offering your time and kindness or getting up to something mischievous to make us laugh! Which normally resulted in me telling you to keep the noise down whilst discreetly giving you an affectionate smile!

You were determined to make the world a better place for everyone, your passion and commitment to the community was inspirational and will continue to live on in all of the amazing projects you were a part of. You cared so deeply about our patients and couldn’t walk past the waiting room without asking someone if they were ok or if they needed anything.

I will miss your endless energy and excitement, your smile and your cute little puppy sneezes that would have us all crying with laughter.

Last Tuesday we spent some time together which I will cherish, we watered the plants and you gently whispered to me ‘I miss you’. Now, I will miss you always. I am so blessed to have had you in my life, to have learnt from you how to be a better person, you will continue to inspire me.

My prayers are with your family who you adored and who adored you.

Rest in peace my dear Fizza. Love you always.

Mandy x
April 7, 2022
April 7, 2022
My sweet Fizza.

The kindest soul who immediately took me under her wing when I joined MM a decade ago.

Fizz, you said you don't have friends you have family. And that's exactly how you treated me, like family.

"Kakee, have you eaten?
Have you had a break?"

Messaging me on EMIS and on my phone to see if I was doing well or needed anything.

Always concerned, always so loving.

Taking care of everyone around you even when you yourself were unwell. Going out of your way to help anyone in need.

From colleagues to the patients we took care of.

We all love you because you made it clear you saw us.
We knew we were safe with you & could trust you.

I remember the way you cared for me when I was unwell. Rubbing ointment onto my oozing skin when it was too painful for me to do so myself. Like a mother would to her child.

Pure love.

This is why writing this has taken me days.

How do I say goodbye to you?
To someone who made such a huge impact on my life?
How do i write something so final?
How do I say goodbye to a sister?!

I know with us, it didn't matter how long it had been since we last spoke. The bond we had meant we always picked up where we had last left things.

You were home.

I hear your screeching laughter in the back of my mind. Those chihuahua sneezes that had us all in fits of giggles.

Your cheeky up to no good smirk, accompanied by the most sarcastic "MashaAllah" as you sashayed by. 

Spreading light with your wit, eccentricity, slighty dark humour and wisdom.

I am so grateful for the good times and memories I have & I will cherish them for as long as I live, but I wish I had been able to see you one more time!
To hug and remind you that you are loved.

I wish you could read how everyone felt about you.
The little anecdotes and special memories that are so dear to our hearts. You would laugh, flattered yet embarrassed, never wanting to be the centre of attention.

There will never be anyone like you, Fizza.

You improved so many of our lives. You showed us love beyond measure.

It was truly an honour.

Almighty Allah I ask of your infinite mercy, to care as gently for my sister as she so gently cared for all of us.

Rest in peace in the highest of heavens my beautiful Fizza.

Until we meet again InshaAllah ✨️


Love from your Kakee, Laila x




April 6, 2022
April 6, 2022
You always kept your heart in the sun, and spread warmth around the allotment by keeping in touch with everyone, and your determination to make things grow was a blessing to us all. My love and condolences to your family.
April 6, 2022
April 6, 2022
I miss you, my friend. Can't believe I will never hear your swishing skirts coming along the corridor again, before your smiling face appeared in the doorway... Prayers and love for you and all your family xxx
April 6, 2022
April 6, 2022
I have met Fizza whilst she was working at the fantastic dental practice in Didsbury of Dr. Nez. I remember her warmth and smile. She was able to make me laugh, even when I was laied down on the dentist chair with my mouth open! By reading the other's contribution, I believe with her life she wrote words full of kindness, compassion, solidarity with a simplicity we will never forget. Be in peace.
April 6, 2022
April 6, 2022
Fizza was the first person to welcome us to the street when we moved into our house. She was a kind and caring neighbour who could not do enough for anyone. One always felt like you were being looked out for with Fizza around. She looked after the elderly neighbours like they were her own grandparents, taking them to hospital appointments, making sure they had supplies during Covid and did not feel isolated. What a community force to be reckoned with! Always smiling, always positive and always making sure everyone else was ok, even when she was struggling with her own health. A quick hello would turn into a 20minute chat!
We could all ‘be a bit more Fizza’, and I’m certainly going to try to every day.
Anna & Ben
April 6, 2022
April 6, 2022
We met Fizz at the allotment, she seemed to always be there, no matter what time we arrived. We'd feel very smug to be there so early, then she would walk past to say she was just taking a break :) 
Vino and I are both so shocked to hear of her passing, Fizz was always supportive and encouraging, with nothing but kind words to share.
We both have the same favourite memory of her - one evening as we were leaving the allotment, Fizz had climbed a tree to watch the sunset. As we looked back at the view, the sun was a big ball of fire setting over Houghend. She embraced the moment and made the effort to fully appreciate it - something that none of us really do enough. 
We will miss you Fizz, very much. Thank you for your kindness and enthusiasm.
Vino and Caroline xx
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April 1, 2023
April 1, 2023
♥️ To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die ♥️

Oh my love, you live in the hearts of so many of us.

Fizz, there's a street named after you in Syria!
People speak of your name & pray for you in more corners of the world than you could have ever imagined.


This week's been difficult... Today more so than any other day.
How could I go about my day and not think of how you must have felt?!
Of what was going through your heart.
Of what was going through your mind.
Of the pain coursing through you.

I must remember, though, that the struggle you endured is long forgotten.

As promised by our Almighty, there's a window open to you of a whole other world. Our true home.
A loving breeze caresses you, wonderous scents & sounds fill your senses, you're delighting in the sights of Jannahtul Firdaws.
The blessed company you must be in x
The stories you must share with one another...

Content.

Life on earth a fleeting memory.


May Allah Almighty shower His infinite peace & blessings upon you and your beautiful family. May He ease the pain they endure and fill their hearts with His love & light.
May He surround them with supportive, caring, loving people.
May He reunite you all in the highest of paradise, Jannahtul Firdaws.
InshaAllah
Ameen


Love and duas, always x



November 19, 2022
November 19, 2022
Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with their heart and soul there is so such thing as separation.         - Rumi

Love you. Miss you.
October 12, 2022
October 12, 2022
Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un
Not a moment goes by when I don't think about you.
I'm sorry for the things I never got to say to you - that I should have said,
I'm sorry for the things I said to you - that I should never have said.
I miss you very much.
Until we meet again.
Love you always and forever...
Her Life

Maria's reflections (sister)

April 5, 2022
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon
To Him we belong and to Him is our return

Childhood memories

On paper you were my older sister (by one year). In reality, you were anything but! As kids I remember you always being full of energy, often leading me into trouble. Like the time we were sat in the boot of Pap’s estate on some long drive to one of our childhood haunts - one of many parks, Blackpool beach etc. and back in the day before annoying bulky car-seats were mandated. You randomly decided to pull your tongue out and stick one or two fingers up at the driver behind us and I dutifully copied you. The driver gestured back like a cartoon villain shaking his fist and we burst out laughing and carried on doing it. I don’t think there are any photos of you as a kid where you were just sitting still and smiling nicely. Pulling funny faces was your standard pose.

A natural with the kids

But my enduring memories of you will be since our three girls arrived into the world. You were a natural with kids. I’ll never forget your patience and support especially with Liyana, our first-born. I was utterly clueless. A wreck. Feeling sorry for myself, missing Mam, thinking how it would have been so much easier if she was around. You pretty much filled that gap. You taught me how to look out for baby’s cues, to stop obsessing over routines and those ‘new baby’ books. You nudged and nudged me to hug baby more, to kiss her more, to bond with her. To be less anxious. In those early weeks while David was at work, you were there in the middle of the night with me, changing nappies, burping her and rocking her to sleep.

You were Funny Khala (auntie). The girls delighted in seeing you. Your smile was as wide as theirs as you showered them with hugs and kisses and twirls and gifts of all kinds (toys, books, bubbles, balloons, stickers, craft kits) - despite my insisting that they already had too much. You were the most creative in your playtimes with them, they loved being dragged across the room on the giant snake pillow that you made for them. You even made going to the toilet fun and never shirked from wiping their bottoms. You made them giggle the hardest and rest assured they’d sleep well on days when aunty Fizza had visited.

I’m going to miss you not being around the house or on outings with us. I’m going to miss the girls shouting ‘it’s funny khaha!’ as they spy you through the window. I’m going to miss the squeals of delight from the kids as you play with them, while I catch up on cooking or chores. I’m going to miss your attempts at hugging or kissing me before you leave the house, settling for a pat on the head, a low-five or an air kiss instead.

Little Miss Fix-it

You weren’t an academic but you had bags of common sense. You loved to fix things, endless things and though you were small, you were mighty - our Little Miss Fix-it, powered by Pepsi max, nuts or chocolate in some combination. So, I’d reserve all the fixing projects for you. You’d follow instructions loosely, get frustrated if things took longer than anticipated but you’d never give up until the job was done, albeit a bit wonky in places. The sideboard (with the slightly wonky cupboard door), the chest of drawers, the cot that is now still serving Soraya (baby 3), Imani’s toddler bed, Liyana’s big girl bed. The huuuuge doll house. Various gym kit, Liyana’s trike. You’d spot stuff that needed fixing around the house and voluntarily embark on fixing it – tightening the hinge on the boiler cupboard door, unblocking the U-bend, sealing up the crevices of the skirting boards. Painting (somewhat messily) as you confessed you didn’t enjoy it as it requires too much patience to do properly. You were just so bloody handy.


Lover of nature

But of course, the outdoors is where you truly flourished. Only earlier this year, you dug up my driveway and insisted on raking 3 tonnes of gravel (mostly) solo, whilst the neighbours looked on, agog. You stripped the facade of the house of the beautiful but suffocating passion flower plant, even borrowing the neighbour’s ladder to pull out that last stubborn vine. You cleared and de-weeded the back garden and carefully guided me to do the same.

You were naturally gifted with green fingers. Your allotment was your pride and joy, you said it was to carry on our ancestors’ farming legacy. It was also your worst-kept secret! You would share endless photos of your latest projects and produce and ask us not to tell anyone, whereas most of your friends and colleagues already knew! You proudly shared your latest harvests of runner beans, potatoes, Jerusalem artichokes, courgettes and strawberries. The girls loved their days out with you there, picking strawberries and blackberries and petting Oscar the cat.

Boundless generosity

Like a Duracell bunny you’d work or play with the kids, until you collapsed, exhausted. Then you’d do it all over again and still with a smile on your face. You were generous beyond your means. Giving, constantly giving. Toys for the girls, flowers, endless flowers for any (made-up) occasion and generally from ‘Flourish’ or indeed from your allotment – gladioli and artichoke flowers. Gifts that had been gifted to you (usually smellies) you’d pass on to me. Spicy and salty dishes of food often in exchange for some of my kid-friendly bland food. You were involved in a whole host of community-based projects, giving up your own time to create safe, accessible spaces for others in need. You had endless empathy, constantly nudging us to be kind, to say thank you, to give hugs.

My prayer for my Fizza

May Allah SWT have mercy on you. May he grant you Jannah il Firdaus (highest paradise). May He reunite you with our beloved mother and your beloved Ranjha (rabbit). Ameen.

May Allah SWT give us the patience and strength to accept that you are gone, to use your loss as an opportunity to improve ourselves and to emulate all your positive virtues within ourselves and our children. Ameen.

I implore all who have been touched and inspired by Fizza to pray for her and to donate to charity in her name, no matter how small the gift. Please do so here: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/fizza-ahmed
Recent stories

My dear friend Fizza...

April 8, 2022
Dear Fizza my best friend. I missed you so much...

You were there when I wanted to dig a pond in my garden, you came with  the equipment and even started to dig before  me! You were there when I lost my dad at the end of December last year, to cheer me up you took me to the beautiful park and we walked there hand in hand, you.kept on encouraging me to carry on,  you were there sis...

You came with flowers, with smiles, with cheerfulness, with amazing energy, with care, with kindness, with empathy, with love.. MasyaAllaah...

Miss Fox I used to call you -because your love of nature , and it made you laugh :) I learnt a lot from you about plants and gardening,  amazed with how much you care for the allotment cat, how you built a home for hedgehogs in your plot, how you helped water the plants in our friend's plot, how you just easily climbed to the roof of the shed to fix it and how you just  easily climbed to a tree! You never got tired!  MasyaAllaah! 

You like to.give....you gave plump trees to your friends, you gave flowers, you knocked on my door and gave sweets to my young son,  you 'challenged' him to.embrace the snow in the allotment and make a massive snowman in your plot :) We were laughing and laughing! 

I have so many beautiful, touching, funny, meaningful memories with you. So many.  I remember our journey to Stretford mall, to Trafford Centre and mostly,  to some lovely parks. I love you and I don't want to say goodbye... However Allaah loves you more.... InsyaAllaah, He builds the most amazing garden for you there .. The most amazing garden for the most  kind and amazing friend I have ever met...

***** "Khairuunaas anfa'uhum linnaas (the best humans are those that are beneficial to others),"  Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him *****

April 7, 2022
Fizz when I first started out at Newmass you were the most welcoming person from next door. You used to come in to the shop with that skirt of yours rushing in asking if there was any diet cokes or Pepsi max. You always were the brightest person in the room when you came in the shop you made me belly laugh beyond belief. You always gave me advice when I was having one of those with my mental health days. I remember you would take two diet cokes and say you can have a quick chat with me and my dad so I can drink this tin and only go back with one so no one tells me off. You always had so much energy and good energy. I remember saying why don't you buy a crate of coke because you used to say I spend so much on diet coke here and you said it's just a lot of effort and I don't get to see you guys then. I'm so grateful you didn't buy a crate because the days when I saw you were the days I laughed more then usual. I remember when I told you I was leaving and the hug you gave me and how proud you were of me to be moving into my first official job where there was no support of my friends or family. Me and my dad were so grateful for you to come in and have our jokes that we did with you. 
My condolences to your family and You are going to be the brightest star in that sky and I hope you are no longer in pain. We will miss you fizz.
Love Kajal and Arun Aggarwal

Walking With Fizz

April 5, 2022
Fizz (as I called her) and I worked closely regularly together and were also in contact outside of work. We were once walking in a Park and saw a humongous bumble bee on a Plant it was the size of a double-decker bus! As I drew back in fear I watched as Fizz did something I have never witnessed any human being do before in all my years of being on this earth...

As I stepped back, Fizz stepped forward toward the bee saying 'Awww I love bees, I love nature' she then ran her forefinger the whole length of the furry bumble bees back stroking it from the top right down to the tip and if that isn't enough it didn't even fly off it just stayed and let her stroke it! I wasn't quite sure who was enjoying it the most?

Fizz was nature itself I'll remember her in every beautiful flower, green walk, park and garden but most of all in every bumble bee I see... Oh and by the way... I'm not afraid of them anymore.... my beautiful sister and friend taught me that.
Miss you already.  Thank you for sharing your light.
Lorna

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