It was the usual Saturday nights with Flo, when she wasn’t dancing up a storm with her dancing partner, Annie Ferguson at a local venue.  It lasted for a long time!  The two of them drank wine and would go upstairs to the Social Room on Fort Street, a Seniors apartment building, where Flo & Don had moved upon leaving Minaki.  Annie came in from Minaki a lot of weekends before and after Don passed.  Occasionally Al & I would join them to play Kinsman Bingo at 5:30 Saturdays. Flo would do her suduko puzzles while we were waiting for the sound of the bingo balls bumping each other and the drop of that first bingo ball.  O64.  It was always a number Flo had, never Annie or I. Flo would bug us by giggling her delight.  “Oh you guys!” she’d say as if we were the ones teasing her instead of the other way around.  

And Al was with us.  He had to take the pictures.  We’d head home without having won anything that night, or any other night, but it had been fun, playing bingo, laughing and being together.  We’d all aged gracefully.  It was a far cry from dancing at a social, a wedding, or celebrating a special anniversary.  Kinsman Bingo had called our names. I think Flo and Annie went up to the Social Room after we’d gone.  The pair were pretty mischievious.

- By Elaine Wagner

It was cold out there. November usually is. My labor pains were 5 minutes apart.  I was lying on the sofa in our apartment and called my husband, Al, to wake up. We dressed and walked across the Shopping Centre parking lot from 512 London Street to 817 Munroe Avenue, Winnipeg.  We had wakened Flo and Don with a telephone call. Don would drive us to Misericordia Hospital so I could give birth.

We sat on the kitchen stoop waiting for Don.  Flo came tearing toward us in her nightee and a flimsy coverup right out of Hollywood.  Jesus, I was in waves of pain that hurt like hell.

“Do you want to hear your horoscope, Elaine?”  she asked.

“No! I don’t want to hear my horoscope.”  I almost yelled at her.

“Well, do you want to hear my horoscope then?” she asked.

“Jesus Flo.  Don’t you get it?  I’m not in the mood for horoscopes.  I’m in pain.  I’m dying here.”

“Oh don’t be silly.  I’ll read you both horoscopes.” And she proceeded to read me my horoscope…..something about a surprise package was on its way and could arrive at any moment.

“Flo, please stop.  I don’t want to hear horoscopes right now.  I’m not in the mood.”

“Well, listen to mine”.  And she proceeded to read her horoscope which said something about an unexpected event taking place.  

“Isn’t that exciting?  Both our horoscopes are related to something new for both of us. I love it.”

Don buttoned his coat.

“Okay Flo.  Enough horoscopes.  You’ll want to read mine and Al’s next.  We’re off to the hospital. I’ll drop the kids off and come right home.”

We headed toward the car.  I hardly remember the ride to the hospital that early morning but I will always and forever remember my sister, Flo, reading our horoscopes.  It was 4:30 am.  She would have a new nephew, and Craig & Nadene would have a new cousin at 5:25 pm.

By Elaine Wagner

It was black outside already.  Flo and I stood looking at each other.  I got into the back seat first.  She followed. There we were. Flo and Elaine, the two sisters, crammed into the rear of a 1975 red, Pontiac Firebird.  Our knees almost touched our chins. But really, who cared.  We sure didn’t. We would glance at each other, excited to be together and on the road. Occasionally we grabbed the other’s hand just to make sure it was real. We were really headed to the Grey Cup in Calgary.

The guys, Al, driving; and Don in the passenger seat, were comfortably ensconced in the front.  It was Friday night and we were headed to Calgary for Grey Cup Sunday. It was a twelve to fourteen hour drive.  We didn’t care. We chattered in our excited anticipation of arriving at yet another sister’s, Nell (and Joe), where we were going to crash for the few days ahead.  Grey Cup morning we had a champagne brunch scheduled before the game.  Everything was planned. Everything was great.  Any lull in conversation was replaced by radio music or cassette tapes.  We were drunk in our anticipation and excitement.

Really, those guys never tired.  Flo and I looked at each other and rubbed our aching knees.  It was time for a pit stop and a stretch. A long stretch. We hadn’t travelled that far in distance. Al pulled into a gas station and we all climbed from the car. Flo and I crawled out from the back seat.  We were able to go to the Ladies’ Restroom together, leaving Al at the cash register to pay for gas.   Don was already in the Men’s.

Outside, Flo and I dreaded climbing back into our crammed space.  We were in Saskatchewan somewhere; waiting on the guys.  Al came out, climbed into the driver’s seat, got comfortable and muttered;   “That Don!  He’s always getting into trouble.”

“What?”  Flo asked.  “What trouble?”

“Just a minute. He’s coming.” Al answered.

Don opened the door and climbed into his seat.  “Flo,” he admonished.  “What kind of gauch did you buy me?”

“What do you mean?  What kind of gauch would I buy?  Why? What’s wrong with them?”

“Flo,” Don repeated, as only Don could. “These shorts have no fly. I couldn’t find the fly.  How’d you expect me to pee?  I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life? I wish you’d tell me these things before I embarrass myself, and embarrass Al too”.”  

“How could you embarrass Al?  What happened now?”

“Drive, Al.  Just drive.” Don directed. He was upset.

Flo and I were grinning at each other. I mean how embarrassed was he, plus he had embarrassed Al?  

“What happened Al?” Flo asked.  She knew Don was ticked with her. “Tell me please.”

“Well,” began Al.  “You gotta understand, a lot of truckers frequent gas stations.”

“Of course, we know that!” Flo answered.

“Well, standing at the urinal Don was trying to find his fly and he couldn’t. So, he asked me to take a look at his behind in case he had them on backwards. So I did, but I couldn’t see one.  I stood up from bending down to find his fly, only to see a big trucker waiting. I was so embarrassed I ran into the cubicle leaving Don outside by himself. After, I quickly moved to the sink and left. Don was still looking for his fly.”

Flo and I burst into laughter. “Jesus” she said. “The shorts are speedos. I thought they’d be more comfortable in the car. Oh shit.”

“Oh shit,” Don repeated. “There’s no fly. I gotta use a stall to pee and to shit.  Jesus Flo!  Couldn’t you just buy me regular shorts like I always wear? What the hell were you thinking?  Al’s standing looking for my fly when some trucker is staring at him.  Jesus!”

“Good grief.  I didn’t think.” Bursting into laughter, Flo grabbed my hand and slapped her knee repeatedly.

The rest of the trip the guys didn’t go into any washrooms together, thanks to Flo. No matter how thoughtful she was, it would get her in trouble.

- Elaine & Al Wagner