My father was a chef in HK, he worked 14 hours a day, 7 days a week. He had an hour break every day. He would spend that with his family. Sometimes, he would wake us up for a midnight snack during non-school nights. He used the opportunity to encourage us to study well in school.
One of the custom is to go up the highest mountain on 9/9 to get rid of bad demons. On that day he would take us to Tai Ping Shen for a day trip before he went to work. He prepared chicken drums the night before after work. Chicken drum are my brothers favorite. He disguised one chicken drum for me because I do not like chicken. He makes sure he spends as much time as he can with his sons and daughters. AND he loved his family.
I am not a gifted child; I struggled with school. I have to take extra years to finish elementary school than most children. My dad would say to me “suk, study well, you will have a better life with more education. Dad will take care of the rest. Dad will be with you always!”. And he believes in me.
My dad went to Japan alone, he sacrificed his family times that he treasured so much for the better of the family.
As the children got older, he started to plan for the next gift for the kids - higher education.
My mom –Leung Wei Fun joined my dad later in Japan, hand in hand together, they prepare a gift for me that changed my life and my brothers. My mom worked 3 to 4 jobs (dish cleaner, table cloth cleaner, sui mei maker). Like collecting rain drops they saved. When they have enough money for 1 year of college expenses (tuition, room and board), they sent Chun and me to overseas for college. They did the same for my brother Karl as well.
I told my dad that I am not a gifted child, and asked him to pass the opportunity to my younger brothers, but he refused to accept my excuses and told me that I am no different than a son to him. He believes in me!
With the uncertainty of our family reunion date, he planned for Chun and I spent 2 weeks in Japan with mom and him. He told us to remember mom’s sacrifices: how she gave up watching her children grow, how she carried multiple jobs with aching body. But not once he mentioned his own sacrifices.
Before Chun and I boarded the plane to America, Dad reached in his pocket, emptied his wallet and put everything is our hands, he said “take it, you need it” then he smiled gently at us and waved goodbye. Chun and I were crying and uncertain how they made their way back home that night.
Years later, my Mom told us, dad emptied his savings to send Chun and I to US.
In 1982, Dad and Mom came to US to attend my wedding and we never parted again until death due us apart.
My dad’s next gift is to his married children in HK and 2 youngest children – Legal US resident status.
He determined to learn English. Back then there is no Rosetta stone CD, no MP3, I touch or IPad. He bought a bulky Walkman and learned English on tapes. He studied citizen interview questions. My dad did not even graduate from elementary school. He was determined like the little train in a children’s book “the little train that could”. After 3 tries, he became a US citizen.
Some of the big accomplishments that my dad made:
- He has 5 children finished college
- He re-united the Kam family in US
- Loved by all his children, his in-laws and his grandchildren
He never complains nor mentions the sacrifices that he made. He gives credits to others. He is a man with his words. “Work hard with your hands not your mouth”
Thanks to my father and mother for getting me to where I am and what I am. Thanks for believing in me when I cannot believe myself.
How can I ever repay my dad; My hero; My giving tree!!
