I wrote this in dedication to my Grandmother This page is dedicated to my loving grandmother Frances M. Hausman, who has met so much to me in my life. My mother always used to tell me when I was younger that she would always want me to come over and spend the weekend or a few days with her. I do not remember my grandfather that much though, because he passed away in May of 1984, so he only knew me for a short time, but my grandmother knew me and was with me for a very long time. She was always so energetic, outgoing, always on the go. I would call her all the time just to say hello and talk to her for hours on end, and she always made time for me, and she never told me she couldn’t talk. She always seemed to make time for me and would always ask me “when are you coming down to see me again?” I usually responded “Whenever I can, can’t wait to see you!” Then as time moved on, and I got older, I always made it a point to go and see her. About eight years ago my mother told the worst news that anyone could ever tell a grandson, my grandmother was in the beginning stages of having Alzheimer’s disease. At first I have no clue what that means until mom told me that she slowly would begin to forget things in life, and would have to put on medication and that crap that goes with having that dreadful disease. So I was so afraid that my grandmother would forget who I was, I mean hell I was a young teenager, who was thinking his grandmother, who he was so attached to would someday forget him and all the memories that we shared. She started to get to the point where she could no longer drive anymore, which was hard for my parents to tell my grandmother could not drive anymore; she didn’t think anything was wrong. So as the years went on her disease kept increasing more and more, and everyday she would not be able to remember the basic things.

So while I was in high school, I would make it a point to drive down to see her, since by this point she was not remember to take her medications on her own because she would just literally forget to take them. So I would drive down, take her out to dinner, and we would sit and talk about all sorts of things. She would ask me how my day was (several times), and each time I would answer her every time, no matter how many times she asked.
Then once college came around I decided to make the choice to move with her (which I always wanted to do), and take care of her. By this point her disease progressed to where she was unstable on walking, could not remember to do the daily things in life, which she once could do for herself. So, I moved in (not knowing what I was really getting into), and found a job, went to school, and took care of her every time I wasn’t doing anything else, and she absolutely loved me being there. She didn’t forget who I was (yet), and she was would have her good and bad days. Basically my days where getting up, making her breakfast, making sure she was doing alright, then got ready for work, worked until I had to leave for school, went to school, came home made dinner, sat and talked with her, watched TV and talked about her day (she always did something new, but not really), then I would get her ready for bed, and then I would do homework and then the whole routine would start over again the next day. I did this for about 2 years, worked part time, went to school full time, and took care of grandma. Now, I wasn’t forced to do that for her, and asked or anything. I did it because I wanted to do this, since she took care of me a lot, I felt as if I needed to do my duties of a grandson. So I did that, YES it was hard sometimes because I kept watching her decrease to slowly move more downhill. She would do things that would get on my nerves, but I always told myself that, she doesn’t know that she is doing wrong. I love her way to much not to say or do anything.

Then the time came when I decided to move out of her condo and move to Jefferson College to pursue my goal of becoming a Veterinary Technician, (which has changed since then). That was a hard choice to make to stop taking care of her, and move down here. I know she would have wanted me to make the right decision, which I feel I did. So my grandmother’s kids decided that she needed to be placed in a nursing home because she was at the point of her disease where she needed 24 hour watch to make sure she would be ok, and we could no longer take care of her ourselves. She was placed in a nursing home that was picked out, but then about a year after that we decided to move her because of reasons I wish not to put on here. So we moved her to another nursing home, which happen to be the same one my other grandmother is currently at. That was in January of 2006 that she moved there, and she loved it there and was well known around the place, I went up and visited her a lot and spent time with her, not as much as I would have liked, but my mother spent time with her a lot also.

Then is March of 2006 we were in Kansas for my brother’s wedding when two days after the wedding we get a call that grandma had fallen when trying to go to the restroom that night, she was ok, she was sick also, she somehow developed pneumonia and was running a fever and stuff before she fell. We all got back into town and mom went up to see her because she wanted to know how she was doing, which wasn’t good. Mom, my aunt & uncle decided that she probably needed to go to the hospital, as well as her physician thought it would be a good idea. Well she ended up going into the hospital on Tuesday March 14th, 2006 and was hospitalize, I am not completely sure on all details but she was in a lot of pain. So I wasn’t notified until Wednesday that she was not doing well at all, and she make not becoming out of the hospital, which when my father told me that I literally dropped to my knees and started bawling my eyes out because I knew what was going to happen. So I got ready and rushed to the hospital to be with her. When I saw her she looked so dazed and confused as to what was going on. I just wanted to talk to her again like we use to talk to each other, but she could speak, she was on oxygen, because of her congestive heart failure she was had ( which she has for awhile, but she also has a valve in her heart that shut down so it was overworking), then on Thursday March 16th she was not doing any better and by this time her eyes were closed (which they never opened again), she was still breathing, but her doctor said that her kidneys have shut down, she was in renal failure, and would probably not make it another 72 hours. Now I was starting to be a REAL mess, I stayed with her majority of the day on Thursday and stayed the night, basically stayed with her telling her I was there and that I loved her so much, (that was another hard part not being able to hear her say “I Love You Too” back at me). Then around 10am I woke up on Friday am and she was still in the same condition, but only getting worse. So I had something to eat since I couldn’t hardly eat anything, then I went to have my am cigarette, (yes I know I am bad) but when I returned my dad met me at the door of her room and I knew she was gone…I immediately started crying and almost fell to the ground but my dad was there to hold me up and let me cry…she looked to peaceful though, and they told me that a few minutes after I left she stopped breathing, and her heart had stopped. She knew she didn’t want me to see her actually stop breathing and pass on, so she waited until I left the room. That has probably been the HARDEST time of my life, I have ever gone through. I mean I knew that the day was coming, but I tried to be prepared for it, but who can?

So after it was time to leave, I was ok, to drive home, but my family was really worried about me since I was one of the closest to her. I was alright, but I had the song “You Raise Me Up” by Josh Groban. So I dedicated this song to my grandma! I knew she would have loved it; she loved life and loved everyone in/around her.

The funeral was VERY hard for me because I was a paul-barrer; I told everyone that I would try to do the best I could. I did pretty well until we carried her casket out of the church that is when I really lost it again. I hugged my brothers (kind of like a brotherly hug) and we all started crying, but I didn’t know this until later, that a lot of my family really started crying when they saw us standing there, grown men, crying. My mother really cried when that happened. The other time was when we were at the cemetery and we carried her casket for the last time, which was probably the hardest time, because I knew that was good bye.

Well that is about the story of my grandmother. I miss her EVERYDAY and think about her EVERYDAY. I really, really, miss her a lot and wish she was still here. I know in my heart and mind she is still here with me watching over me, but now she is even happier because she is with her husband and they are together once again.

What I wrote to her the day she passed away...“Grandma, even though I know you’re gone and I cannot see you anymore face to face, I know you are watching down on me, as well as grandpa. I just hope you know that I will never stop loving you, I miss you everyday. You meant (and still mean) so much to me in my life and I will always cherish those phone conversations we had, the talks we had, I will always think about you while watching the movie Sister Act, because I know it was your favorite. I hope you and grandpa are having a great time being together once again! I Miss You A lot and wish you didn’t have to leave but God had another plan for you in his eyes.”
I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS!
Your Grandson,
Travis